All I want is a baby!!!!

[SunshineS1]

Just a quick post for a rant/chat really... me and my partner have been trying for nearly 18 months now with absolutely no hint of a bfp. Have started investigations with our GP, I've had my day 3 and day 21 blood tests all looked normal. Currently waiting for the results from parents sa within the next week or so.

It's on my mind every single day, I want nothing more than to have a baby. Some days I'm more positive about it than others but it's always on the back of my mind. I've got no support as I haven't told anybody around us that we're ttc, let alone have been trying for 18 months.

Is anybody else in the same boat?! Has anyone got any positive stories for conceiving after this time?

Just want a chat really, anybody is welcome x

Yes this was me 8 years ago. I now have 3 wonderful children who have wreaked havoc upon my life! Wouldn’t change it for the world. We did have lots more investigation and ended up
Having IVF for the first (but not subsequent) pregnancy. Have you had your thyroid levels checked? Might be worth looking into.

I’m trying seven months now and nothing yet. I know it’s early days really, but I guess you expect it to happen right away when you spent so long preventing pregnancy. I have two already so I’m blessed but don’t feel we have completed our family. I missed a period this month, but have been getting a negative test over a week now so don’t think I have gotten lucky this time. Not sure why the missed period as it hasn’t happened before! I really hope you get lucky soon. It’s a really good sign the tests have been good for you. My best friend was trying ages and then was due her fertility appointment after a year and discovered she was pregnant before her feet made it in the door!

I'm only on cycle 6 but definitely feel your pain its pretty much all I think about most days. So hard especially when everyone around us seems to be having babies 😭

@Ilikecheeseontoast

Yes this was me 8 years ago. I now have 3 wonderful children who have wreaked havoc upon my life! Wouldn’t change it for the world. We did have lots more investigation and ended up Having IVF for the first (but not subsequent) pregnancy. Have you had your thyroid levels checked? Might be worth looking into.

Thank you for your reply!! I hope you don't mind me asking but did you have any issues or was it unexplained as I've been seeing a lot of this recently... I have a history of an overactive thyroid but after a blood test in Feb last year and another in December, everything is stable so they're not concerned about this. This was in the back of my mind but apparently all is good! X

@Yummymummy2020

I’m trying seven months now and nothing yet. I know it’s early days really, but I guess you expect it to happen right away when you spent so long preventing pregnancy. I have two already so I’m blessed but don’t feel we have completed our family. I missed a period this month, but have been getting a negative test over a week now so don’t think I have gotten lucky this time. Not sure why the missed period as it hasn’t happened before! I really hope you get lucky soon. It’s a really good sign the tests have been good for you. My best friend was trying ages and then was due her fertility appointment after a year and discovered she was pregnant before her feet made it in the door!

Aw wow, fingers crossed for you! It's awful isn't it, it's the no control which bothers me. You can do everything right and it still doesn't happen, you can't help but sit and wonder why! Hopefully af doesn't show and you get a lovely bfp soon!! I have everything crossed for you x

@CSR721

I'm only on cycle 6 but definitely feel your pain its pretty much all I think about most days. So hard especially when everyone around us seems to be having babies 😭

Exactly!!!! Honestly I've been so close to just deleting any bit of social media I have off my phone because every day I go on there, someone else is announcing... I am so happy for everyone but can't help but feel jealous, are you trying for your first? Xx

@SunshineS1 yes it will be our first, we just got married in July. Came off bc in August. Stayed on as I didn't want to get pregnant before the wedding/honeymoon but wish I'd stopped it sooner now 😪 what about you?

@SunshineS1 I've been trying for 12 months, so I completely understand how you feel. See what comes back from your partners SA and then you could maybe see about a HSG to make sure your tubes are open? Also I understand you not telling anyone, but wondering if you've got a best friend, or your close to a parent, that you could tell? This forum is fantastic but nothing beats having a supportive person to vent to in real life. Just pick carefully - some people really aren't very supportive and you need someone who will 100% be there and not offer up solutions that we all know don't work. One friend told me 'you just need to have loads of sex' and my head nearly exploded with anger.

I hope you get your BFP soon! If it helps my friend took 18 months but got there on her own eventually.

[quote CSR721]@SunshineS1 yes it will be our first, we just got married in July. Came off bc in August. Stayed on as I didn't want to get pregnant before the wedding/honeymoon but wish I'd stopped it sooner now 😪 what about you?[/quote]
I've got everything crossed for you! I came off bc in June 2020 before we started trying, everything returned back to normal within weeks but still wish I'd of prepared myself a little beforehand, didn't realise how complicated and how much of a miracle it actually is! Congrats on getting married though, that's amazing. How's your partner feeling through all of this? I hope you've got the support x

[quote BritInNZ]@SunshineS1 I've been trying for 12 months, so I completely understand how you feel. See what comes back from your partners SA and then you could maybe see about a HSG to make sure your tubes are open? Also I understand you not telling anyone, but wondering if you've got a best friend, or your close to a parent, that you could tell? This forum is fantastic but nothing beats having a supportive person to vent to in real life. Just pick carefully - some people really aren't very supportive and you need someone who will 100% be there and not offer up solutions that we all know don't work. One friend told me 'you just need to have loads of sex' and my head nearly exploded with anger.

I hope you get your BFP soon! If it helps my friend took 18 months but got there on her own eventually. [/quote]
Thank you so much for your reply! I honestly didn't realise so many other people were in the same boat, have you started investigations yourself? I do speak to my friend from work about it occasionally but don't find the responses very supportive, more annoying. The good old "you just need to relax" or "it will happen you just need to stop thinking about it" so I don't bother anymore. Luckily my partner is amazing and my best friend, we have a good chat about it every now and then and it's nice to get it all off my chest. It would be nice just to have the support of others in the same position, hopefully we can all stick together!!

I'll see what comes from my partners sa in the next week or so and then go from there, we have been referred to a fertility clinic. Got to wait until 14th Feb before I can start chasing anything so I'm just taking each day as it comes.

I've got everything crossed for you!!! I hope you get your bfp soon and you're more than welcome to message me if you ever want to chat x

@SunshineS1 I find people have been quick to share when it's happened quickly but not when it has taken a while, so it kind of skews our view of things!

Yes I've had investigations. Blood tests, SA, AMH, HSG... nothing has shown up as to why it's not happening yet. Got my next fertility appointment tomorrow so guess we'll know more about a plan of action after that.

Hopefully you don't have to wait too long for the SA results 😊 x

@SunshineS1

Thanks lovely 🥰 yes I totally get what you mean. They make you think that you'll get preg just by skipping a pill and then you read how your body can take months to adjust! I'm lucky that I seem to have fairly regular cycles although from measuring my bbt and opks I can see some things still changing! Partner is great and willing to try whatever but he's so relaxed (just how he is about everything) and just says it'll happen and not to worry. Which is fine for now, but if we're still trying in another 6 months I'm sure it'll get old very quickly 😂 how's yours? Fingers crossed for you xxx

[quote BritInNZ]@SunshineS1 I find people have been quick to share when it's happened quickly but not when it has taken a while, so it kind of skews our view of things!

Yes I've had investigations. Blood tests, SA, AMH, HSG... nothing has shown up as to why it's not happening yet. Got my next fertility appointment tomorrow so guess we'll know more about a plan of action after that.

Hopefully you don't have to wait too long for the SA results 😊 x[/quote]
Let me know how you get on tomorrow! Hopefully you'll know more, like I say I'm here if you need someone to talk to! 😊x

[quote CSR721]@SunshineS1

Thanks lovely 🥰 yes I totally get what you mean. They make you think that you'll get preg just by skipping a pill and then you read how your body can take months to adjust! I'm lucky that I seem to have fairly regular cycles although from measuring my bbt and opks I can see some things still changing! Partner is great and willing to try whatever but he's so relaxed (just how he is about everything) and just says it'll happen and not to worry. Which is fine for now, but if we're still trying in another 6 months I'm sure it'll get old very quickly 😂 how's yours? Fingers crossed for you xxx[/quote]
Hahahaha yeah my partner is the same, he is a very relaxed person in general but I can tell he's feeling the same way I am. I accidentally left a ovulation test on the side last month whilst I was cleaning and he seen it and thought we were pregnant because of the 2 lines😓 he came running up so excited it broke my heart bless him. We're trying for our first so he doesn't really know what's what! He is amazing, he gets me through it let me tell you! He doesn't really do much differently on his end but I'm looking into conception vitamins for him so he's in for a surprise😂 fingers crossed it doesn't take too much longer for you!! If you ever want to chat, just send me a message. Even if you want to take my number, we can whatsapp each other with updates🤣xx

We tried for 2 years op, got referred, we got diagnosed with unexplained infertility and went on to have IVF. I now have my little boy.

It's the hardest journey trying to conceive and it does take over your life doesn't it.

It's good you've started the investigations and have been referred.

Wishing you lots of luck.

@GrapefruitPink

We tried for 2 years op, got referred, we got diagnosed with unexplained infertility and went on to have IVF. I now have my little boy.

It's the hardest journey trying to conceive and it does take over your life doesn't it.

It's good you've started the investigations and have been referred.

Wishing you lots of luck.

Congratulations on your little boy!!! It's so nice to hear some miracles coming from this, even if it was with some hard times.

It really does take over your life, you're made to believe it's so easy and it's the complete opposite. All I want is to be a mum, I'd do anything for that. Hopefully it doesn't get to the point where I need ivf etc but if that's what it takes then I'm willing to do anything at this point. I've looked into adoption and everything so I'm more than prepared to do this too x

@SunshineS1 ahhh bless him that must've been so disappointing 😞 good that he's willing!!! I've been eyeing up the Conception vits too, are you taking much? I bought all sorts but never remember to take any 🤦🏻‍♀️ I'm thinking of trying the conceive plus, I think they do a bundle with mens and womens. That sounds great tbh. I am open with my friends about ttc but as none of them are I think they get sick of hearing about opks and periods and luteal phases 😂

Fingers crossed for you too @BritInNZ 🥰 glad your investigations came up clear, I can imagine it being more frustrating though!

@CSR721 yes it's almost like you breathe a sigh of relief for a few days then when you think about it, you get more frustrated that there's not something wrong that's a quick fix to explain why it's taking so long!!

Same boat @SunshineS1. Trying since March 2020. I know why (don't ovulate) but the NHS is taking forever to actually offer anything for it.

I’m in the same boat, been trying for around 9 months… my bestfriend gave birth to her third baby in September, I’m obviously very happy for her and love all her children to bits BUT I can’t help be devastated by the fact none of these children were planned and she seems to be the most fertile person I’ve ever met (3 children in under 6 years, it’s gutting😩)

I even tell her (in a jokey way) that she needs to let me have a go next… she fully agrees as she now has her hands full😂

I just really want it to be me next and can’t help but feel slightly annoyed by it😔x

@SunshineS1 I fell pregnant the first month we started ttc, had a very early MC and then absolutely nothing for two years. I found it very hard to access NHS support (and felt quite guilty doing so) when we hit one year because of the pandemic, and my DP is so laid back he's practically horizontal, so it wasn't until we were about 20 months in that we started to get out tests done privately, all of which came back perfectly normal (or actually very good). The last option we had before officially starting treatment was a HyFoSy in March, and I actually cried when the technician told me they wanted to use my images for training because they were so perfect 🙄. They told us to wait one cycle after the procedure before ttc again, and we agreed we do two cycles after that before getting help.

Our last cycle I had a fortnight off work and after two years of living perfectly in ttc terms I basically got the right hump - I stopped waking up at the crack of dawn to take my temp, stopped symptom spotting, ate and drank whatever I liked (including drinking champagne in a hot tub post ovulation 😳) and told myself to enjoy myself before the stress of fertility treatment. Took a test at 12DPO purely because I was going to hot yoga that night, and got my BFP. Didn't even tell DP for 3 days because I just didn't believe it...and actually now I'm 36 weeks I still don't really believe it!

The point of that absolute essay 🙈 was to tell you not to lose hope - when I had my MC I was convinced I'd be pregnant again in 3 months, then 6, then that there was no way I wouldn't be pregnant by a year, and by 2 years I'm sure our chance of conceiving naturally according to the stats was down to something ridiculous like 2%.

By saying I stuck two fingers up at it in our last cycle is also in no way me saying 'Stop thinking about it/it'll happen when you least expect it/just have more sex' and all that crap people who have no idea what you're going through spout, but just to give yourself a break - you don't have to do everything perfectly every single day, or blame yourself if it doesn't happen that month when you had an extra cup of coffee or missed your vitamins one day!

It took us 15 months after a MC and had SA, HSG, bloods etc, which all came back normal. I'd actually given up hope.

@TheDaydreamBelievers

Same boat *@SunshineS1*. Trying since March 2020. I know why (don't ovulate) but the NHS is taking forever to actually offer anything for it.

Aw no!! Honestly I think it's luck of the draw on where you are these days to get any sort of help. My gp was really lovely about it and referred me straight away, although I do still expect it to take a while. I hope you get everything sorted soon, have you any idea on time frames etc? X