Fertility Appointments and Beyond.... the journey continues

[Gracie2021]

New thread for us to continue our fertility clinic appointment progress...

Some of us are waiting for initial appointments, some are having tests and some are starting treatment!

@tillybabs
@thislittlebird
@kay00
@jeaniej
@PurpleUnicorn01
@paintfairy
@dogmam
@flutterby8
@Ughmaybenot
@dancingfairydreams
@beckycarlos
@jkjellyhead
@juno231
@decaffe
@bumble44
@BritinNZ
@tinkerbell098
@pinkginpls
@thedaydreambelievers
@everymumday
@wanderlust16
@lori23ttc

@gracie2021 the new dog anxiety is real! I was overwhelmed with the responsibility, lots of 'why did I think I could look after a living thing' thoughs, anxiety about leaving (in my mind abandoning) him, hearing him cry in my sleep even though he was 100% not crying. It didnt take long to realise he was quite robust but then he started the 'land shark' phase where he wanted to nibble everything, and me 🤣

@kay00 I really didn't want to tell many people for a mixture of reasons (pride, cba with questions or fuss, pressure real or otherwise, and I didnt want people to stop telling me about their kids or anything) so I've not told any of my family, and I haven’t told many friends apart from a close one at work who's niece had been through it, and a couple of friends who are very practical and pragmatic, but my husband announced it to his friends that we were having investigations, and he told his mum/close family so its kindof out there ish 🙄

@beckyCarlos omg so glad it's not just us who have a sharkie phase ongoing. Those little teeth hurt don't they! Im still at the "we're going to break her" phase im afraid or maybe it's more fear she'll break herself as she has no fear and keeps flinging herself off the back of the couch 🙈 looking forward to a few weeks time when we can cut out the mid night potty trips too.

I've told a few friends along the way, some I regret telling especially when I was congratulated 🙄, but for the most part they've been sympathetic. However regretting some of the sharing now as it feels like too much pressure when we actually go through IVF.....

I think my friends would be mindful not to add pressure, and one of my friends already knows we are trying. But other than her, no one knows. It has been a big secret. So telling people that we have been trying for 1.5 years+ will be strange, and im sure my mum and sis will have lots of mixed emotions.

I just booked a couple of nights away over Easter with my mum and sis at a Spa hotel 😊 my sis has booked the massages and I'm secretly hoping I will have to re-arrange mine to be a pregnancy massage 🙃

Also, I heard about this really handy tool on a fertility podcast earlier:

w3.abdn.ac.uk/clsm/opis/tool/ivf1

It can help you understand your chances of success through IVF or ICSI dependent on your age and prior diagnosis.

Fair play managing to keep it so quiet @Kay00. I think I ended up sharing with the few people just for support. Have to admit that link has bummed me out properly. 41% chance of our first cycle working 😭😭😭

Thanks for sharing your lovely digs @beckyCarlos and @Kay00! I think for now we’ll be waiting a bit, extra stress at the minute might not be the best idea.

@pinkginpls maybe go sick. Sod them. That’s not fair if you’re having a procedure.

@Gracie2021 thank you 🙏 I think your dog advice is a good reminder I probably should not take it on right now. I am worried I’ve left it too late now though. Will see how I feel after our week away in March/April on the dog front.

I have told people about ivf and I may regret it. The point at which it doesn’t work will be the point when I’m regretting saying anything but I also didn’t want to keep it all bottled up. I felt like I needed to tell people, so I did. Work and a couple of friends. Why did they congratulate you @gracie2021?

My result was 30% 😔. I guess it’s realistic but I need to prep myself for needing three full rounds. I see so many people having first time success on here and I think it skews perception. This is why NICE recommends three rounds after all, doesn’t make it any easier to have to keep going through all this.

At least we have the one round funded, that’s something. We’ll keep saving too, since we have six months ish (assuming we get embryos) before we’ll need a private round.

@thislittlebird no idea why you would congratulate anyone for having to do IVF tbh. I think my face said it all at that moment. I think my reply may have been a somewhat testy "well it's not exactly the dream" but tempered it with "but we're lucky to be able to afford it I guess".....

We're paying for our first round here shortly and it's feeling very feel. Petrified of catching Covid and being out the deposit so going to have to isolate from the middle of January I think. It's just so much money 🙈 need to start gathering the Pennie's for round 2 and 3 now. Think I may have needed that wake up call this morning actually as the hope fortress for IVF was sky high!

@thislittlebird @Gracie2021 oh no, I didn't mean to bum you both out. Honestly, those chances are normal, not really low. I think we all have in our mind that IVF will be our ticket to success, but it often takes more than one round to get a baby, and its about managing those expectations.

My % for a first round success is 36% but when I looked at what it would have been if I have tried IVF when I was 10 years younger, it was only 45% chance of success in the 1st round, which made me feel better. And really being pregnant before or adding in a male factor issue doesn't make a huge difference either.

I'm hoping for an NHS round first too, but we have some savings put aside which we hoped to use on a new kitchen, but will now be earmarked for possible IVF. So I'll be saving for that kitchen we desperately need!

You did me a big favour @Kay00. In my head I knew it wasn't some silver bullet that was guaranteed first time success but had forgotten the actual stats. Better to go in being realistic for certain and good to see it now. Thanks for sharing.

Just got my protocol details for IVF. Gonal F and Luveris for stims, certrotide to delay O, ovitrelle trigger, buserelin to stop eggs releasing, solpadol (pain relief?), antibiotic and paracetamol for egg collection, lubion and crinone for progesterone support and they've upped my prednisolone to 10mg. Can you tell I've just been googling to see what they all do 😂🙈

@Gracie2021 Wow, that's a lot of drugs! Its all for a good cause remember! When do you start?

Ref the stats, the chances of conception for a 'normal couple' with no issues is only 15-20% per cycle (no doubt my chances have been considerably lower than that for the past 1.5 years - haha!) so a chance of 30-40% is practically double the normal chance (granted that's over a couple of egg transfers) - so we should still keep our hopes up

@Gracie2021 will you be buying these yourself? and will you be trying out the Asda pharmacy who has ultra low prices for fertility drugs?

@Kay00 actually really excited to start. Think the 8 months of TSI is after taking away any of the fear and I'm just ready to go now. Thankfully we have a government cap on certain medication here so I can get all my meds for about €150 which is amazing. The €5.5k hit for the IVF round is another story 😂🙈

Cumulatively the odds are quite good too. So hoping to get a few good embryos and even if the first transfer isn't successful it would just mean a FET after. Knocking back all the supplements and hoping it does some good. Adding DHeA and Melatonin to my cocktail this month after reading it starts with the egg. Think I'm on about 25 pills a day now 😂😂

@Kay00 Aw your dogs look absobubtly gorgeous, I love their long faces! Great that you've found someone who takes them both when you go away. I'm really nervous about leaving my boy but have considered like a home border, I'll have to look into it. At least yours have each other if they're missing you.

@Gracie2021 Thank you x your appointment is just next week, not long to wait and fab you've got your medication list! Great that you've been given lubion injections too for progesterone support, that's not usually standard to be given it straight away so sounds like your clinic are proactive.

It's such a hard decision weather or not to tell people about treatment etc. None of my family know and now I feel like too much has happened to now start back tracking and filling them in over everything that's happened. I almost wish though one of them would ask me what on earth is going on and why am I such a different person these days, then I could just let it all out but everyone is too polite I guess.
Ps happy to turn this into an ivf/dog chat

@dogmam Hehe, I could chat about my dogs all day. Here's a pic of my cheeky chappy smiling 🤗

I had a BFN yesterday at 13dpo and I've had some light spotting yesterday and today, so I assume tomorrow or Monday will be CD1.

It will be my 5th cycle of Clomid and I'm thinking of mixing things up a bit... I could take them days 3-7 to help a single egg grow stronger or even days 5-9 (American style)? Or I could take a 50mg pill on a couple if days instead of 25mg for the full 5 days? So far my Clomid cycles have been:

1. 50mg days 2-6 (over-stimulated, 3 x follicles)
2. 25mg days 2-6 (one over mature follicles at 27mm 2 days before ovulation)
3. 25mg days 2-5, 50mg day 6
4. 25mg days 2-6

Not a sniff of a line on any of these cycles, but I'm pretty sure I'm ovulating.

@kay00 awww he looks so happy!
@dogmam I feel like the worst dog parent whenever we leave our boy, but we've found a kennels on a livery just down the road, and he absolutely loves it! He runs up to the owners wagging his tail, leans against them for scratches, and gets between their legs for head rubs... its so so lovely to see. Kennels arent for everyone but I imagine home boarding would be this x100! X

Already dreading leaving our little one for holidays. She'd go to my parents though which is a massive relief. Sounds like ana amazing match with your sitters @Kay00, I'd say they love having them to cuddle? Such regal beautiful dogs. Love the pics. @beckyCarlos if yours has that reaction when being dropped off can only say good things. Great to have a reliable minder.

Sorry about your BFN @Kay00. How are you doing on the clomid? Hopefully still no bad symptoms. Could very well experiment with the dosage for fun. Can't do any harm. Are you booked in to chat next steps soon as well or I could be mixing you up with someone else?

@dogmam love the IVF/dog chat for sure. I'm sorry you don't have anyone asking are you ok and what's up. I think people see a lot less than we give them credit for sometimes.... my mam told my dad yesterday as he needed to know why we will be isolating over the next few weeks. He was just pure confused. Doesn't understand any of it 🙈

Hi all and happy new year! Sorry I haven't been on for a while - just wanted to take some time off over the holidays to reflect on how I was feeling (this month marks a year of TTC for me) and set goals for 2022 that aren't solely focused on getting pregnant, as being fixated on it in 2021 only ended up with me feeling very unhappy! What do goals do people want to accomplish this year that aren't pregnancy related?

Over the weekend I saw a close friend who is 3 months pregnant and conceived on her first month trying - I was not looking forward to it at all as I hadn't seen her since she told me about the pregnancy, but surprisingly I didn't feel bad when I was with her and felt sincerely happy and excited talking about her pregnancy, which was a nice change of feeling :)

I had blood tests last week and tomorrow a baseline scan and nurse appointment in preparation for starting my letrazole/IUI cycles hopefully very soon.

@dogmam I'm so sorry for your loss
@PurpleUnicorn01 @Gracie2021 how are your IVF cycles going? xx

@Kay00 interesting that the calculator you shared shows your chances go up (even doubled) as you try more cycles. I didn't know your chances actually can get better. But now I know that it will start slow manages some expectation...

And keep your chin up on the clomid, you do you x

@magnoliasinbloom it is different pace for everyone, I was shutting everything down during the holidays too, just too much to cope... But yes, besides getting a BFP, I will also be focusing more on my crafty projects which I have neglected for some time.

Good luck with the scan tomorrow.

Last Friday I had a laparoscopy to check out my left fallopian tube. the incisions still aching and feeling pretty down... Turns out a part of the tube is missing and some spots on the cervix (no idea what that means). Doc said she will apply for IVF funding right away. I guess I was expecting it to come to IVF but not just dish out to you right after a surgery where I was confused and groggy. No other method was recommended which I was also prepared to go through meds, IUI all sorts to come to the "holy grail - IVF". Now I feel I am sentenced. I couldn't keep the tears in and the ward sister took care of me well which was nice. Feel like I officially "join the club". A club that not one of us wants to be a member of.

@pinkginpls I'm so sorry for the way that was communicated. Hate that it was landed on you when you didn't have your defenses up. And yes it's a shit club to be part of (scuse the phrase)! Glad they're working to get you sorted for IVF but it's a massively emotional step when it gets real instead of just a possibility.... hope you're doing ok x

@magnoliasinbloom so glad you were able to enjoy your visit with your friend and love the 2022 non TTC goals. I really try to do this too. Mine are all around travel and the new pup. Want to get her well trained and settled in and have two cheap holidays and two cheap weekends away booked for the year ahead. Won't do all of them if we have success but know if we don't that I'll need the distraction. What are you thinking for your goals so far?

Had my final TSI scan this morning. Was really worried as I had a 29mm follicle same day last month and was terrified it would hang around and turn into a cyst but actually had my most positive scan yet. Three follicles!!!! When I've only ever had 1 before. 17 and two 14's across both ovaries and they're even happy with my lining which is 7mm triple at day 9. The relief!!! There's a chance they'll cancel the cycle because I have three or will get me to trigger immediately to avoid the two 14's catching up but tbh I'm gonna be bold and wait a day or two and trigger and just go for it. Maybe irresponsible but can't pass this chance up. It also moves my IVF forward by almost week as I'll be triggering early. So happy as last months scan was a disaster and I went home crying.

@magnoliasinbloom nice to hear from you. You seem in a more positive space.

Im well thank you. So I have my lining scan in 2 days then transfer day a week after hopefully. I really hope it works its not been fun so far with the MMC.

@dogmam how are you feeling? Have you had your next appointment to see about going for it again?

Best of luck for your lining scan @PurpleUnicorn01, really hope it goes well for you and your transfer will be here before you know it.

[quote Gracie2021]@thislittlebird no idea why you would congratulate anyone for having to do IVF tbh. I think my face said it all at that moment. I think my reply may have been a somewhat testy "well it's not exactly the dream" but tempered it with "but we're lucky to be able to afford it I guess".....

We're paying for our first round here shortly and it's feeling very feel. Petrified of catching Covid and being out the deposit so going to have to isolate from the middle of January I think. It's just so much money 🙈 need to start gathering the Pennie's for round 2 and 3 now. Think I may have needed that wake up call this morning actually as the hope fortress for IVF was sky high! [/quote]
I’m isolating too @Gracie2021, I had already agreed to anyway with my boss because I want risking it for a job I can do from home. My husband unfortunately cannot work from home but he’s very careful, we some have LFTs to start taking in a week’s time.

On the subject of costs, I’m really keen to know how much the not for profit BPAS service will charge. They’ve just started doing consultations afaik, if this NHS round doesn’t work out I may arrange a consultation with them.

I’ll be on gonal f too, haven’t heard any more details yet, need to chase the fertility drugs company up. 🤨

I had no idea you were in the EU btw, where are you if you don’t mind me asking?

@Kay00 I don’t mind the realism tbh, reminds me we need to commit to three full rounds. Makes me mad we have to pay when it’s not the same everywhere but here we are, we’ve had a year to prepare. The Lister have a calculator based on their results I think, and I get a higher percentage on their one lol, maybe I’ll tell myself it’s in the middle.

@dogmam I think I’m on either cyclogest or lubion, they said both would be options. Hopefully I’ll find out soon, meds are due to be delivered in 8 days :/

We told in-laws and my work, a couple of friends and my family. So basically everyone 😭. I didn’t want to be asked when we were having kids since my age seems to make people ask or tell me I don’t have long left.

Hope you scan goes well @PurpleUnicorn01

I’m still struggling with it all. I want to be excited but it’s like my anxiety has just rocketed as soon as we hit January and I can’t get past it, my sleep is a mess. Due to start on the 26th but they don’t explain what happens if my period comes early, just told me there’s a 4 day window. So I guess I need to delay my period with progesterone again (that I already have here from private OI and other mumsnetters) until I hit that window. I don’t know if we still keep our 26th appointment for scan and bloods and drugs teach if it comes early.

I asked to be referred to counselling and there’s an 8 week wait, so that’s annoying. Will try other avenues I suppose.

Glad you're able to WFH @thislittlebird and hopefully those in your inner circle who know will be really supportive to ye. I'm in Ireland so just next door 🇮🇪 😁 so sorry you're having such a tough time and especially when you can't sleep it makes everything so much harder. Is private counselling an option for you in the short term?

Sounds like we might be starting IVF almost to the same day. If I trigger Wednesday my CD1 will likely be 27th. Will be grateful for the company xx