TTC 35+ Thread 12

[Misty84]

Hope this works girls, haven’t done this before, we’ve run out of space on the other thread.
@thislittlebird @ElsieG3m @Marvellouslymadmum @KatRee @Anxiouswannabe

@thislittlebird glad they’re doing their thing - sorry you’ve had such a hassle but keep us posted and I’ll keep everything crossed for you. On second thoughts not quite everything(!!) 😂.

@Marvellouslymadmum glad that made you lol, you have to laugh sometimes don’t you....I literally left the surgery thinking WHO AM I!!!

@RugbyGirl1 I’ve been doing acupuncture since February and I think it might have helped my periods go back to normal (they went short and light for a few months). It is relaxing, I don’t know if it’s doing much but it’s a nice opportunity to float away to some music, with needles in.

Progesterone definitely helps with short LP. Mine is fine, even if my progesterone is low, but the progesterone has extended it from about 13 days to about 15.

My dh didn’t delay getting tested, he was quite good at getting on with it.

DH did the trigger tonight. Last ovulation induction chance now 😔

Thanks for the progesterone and acupuncture info. I'll wait and see what my day 21 day bloods are like and use that to support a request for progesterone. Got my day 3 bloods back and I think things are looking alright.

Good luck for this month @thislittlebird!

Any sign of ovulation yet @Marvellouslymadmum? Hope you can move your day 21 test around to make it fit. I don't think DH would ever forgive me if I booked him in for a SA 😂

@charja100 house move and wedding sounds exciting! We're at about the same point, been trying for 10 months ish and just got the ball rolling with the GP and tests. Definitely give them a call as it may be a short time before they can fit you in (is what I found)

@RugbyGirl1 thanks! what were the day 3s like?

I ordered the birthday cake for my husband today, just over two weeks until we get a little holiday!

No! Just under, birthday is two weeks Thursday, we leave in 1.5 weeks on the Saturday 👀👀👀

I need to think about packing

@RugbyGirl1 hi be no idea! I've had to change the time I get up and I think that's thrown my temps out but they're pretty low at the moment so I'm thinking not yet, maybe the weekend 🤷🏼‍♀️

@thislittlebird ooh are you getting excited? It's my step sons birthday this Thursday and we were taking the kids away for the weekend but it's been cancelled 😑

@thislittlebird that’s come round so quickly!! Bet you’re getting excited now - hope you’re still doing the dressing up plan and you’re packing a gazillion options!!

Can I ask a slightly off topic question...how are you all managing Christmas? There are children in every single house we have to visit and I’m already feeling overwhelmed and anxious about how I’ll cope. I see them all the time as they’re family (I have 12 nieces and nephews) or best friends (I have 8 godchildren) but somehow Christmas just feels like too much to face....I love Christmas and I love gifting and I so thought I’d have my own baby by now to do all this with.

Any tips or advice gratefully received x

@Marvellouslymadmum why was it cancelled? I am a little excited yeah. But I’m also worried about what to wear to his birthday. I weigh more than I would like right now and I still have a slight moon face from being on steroids. It also sucks because I don’t have time to do much about it and if the ivf works it’ll get worse yet. Worse time of year for weight loss too but I’m trying not to eat too much.

@Carla2601 I ordered a long dress (nothing too dressy, one of those you could wear in the summer with sandals or dress up a bit) from Next and it was too big so I’ve gone back to get the smallest size they do because the top half swamped me. I’m worried a long dress with heels is too dramatic for a (nice) hotel dinner, it might not be the right fit for me anyway if the top half is too loose again.

Christmas is a contentious subject. Me and my sisters aren’t close so I don’t visit and see my 12 nieces and nephews these days (and they’re all older, but it’s a lot) . I’m not on great terms with my mum right now and she doesn’t like Christmas anyway. But his family is a different issue. His nieces and nephews want us to visit, and we might yet, but we’re also feeling like we want to stay home. We visited them July, Aug, then we will be again in November and then they want us to in December. No one visited us in that time, which is fine they’re busy, but it’s frustrating that we have to travel again a few weeks after this upcoming trip and stay in hotels because there’s no spare room for us to go this year. I would like to stay home and I think we will probably do that, and then invite them to come visit over the break.

Ok you didn’t ask for my life story, here, have the Christmas mess. Clearly I have no tips beyond don’t visit, avoid babies. Can you drop presents off and go?

@thislittlebird dress sounds lovely - I don’t think it’ll be too much and if you feel good when you get the new size I say go for it! Get some cute photos of you both too! Have you got anymore appointments before you head off?

Haha I enjoyed the life story although sorry to hear it’s complicated....families eh! I’d love to stay at home but my mum LOVES Christmas and I love my mum so I feel like I can’t do that to her. Also at the risk of life story she’s 60 this year and every other big birthday has been completely ruined one way or another and her birthday is two weeks before Xmas and I’ve planned a total bonanza of a week of celebrations. I can’t tell her what’s going on with me as it will break her heart and I don’t want to do that. So that would make it hard to explain away. She’s up near Manchester and we’re in London so can’t really just pop in. I’ve said to my husband that he might have to do his family solo as I find them more difficult (we’re not similar) so I’m always high stress there anyway so I feel like Xmas might be too much. Hoping that will help.

I got my day 21 results (which were actually day 19) and they were normal. So I’m relieved but confused....was expecting them to give some clues. Were yours like this too?

@thislittlebird my day 3 bloods were:
LH: 4 u/L
FSH: 3 u/L and
TSH: 1.6 my/L

Got my day 21 bloods booked in for a couple of weeks. I did a couple of at home day 21 tests and they were all under 30 so not great. We'll see how it goes with a proper one!

A long dress and heels for a hotel dinner sounds fab, not too much at all! Hope you have a great break, will be nice for you to spend some quality time together 😊

I LOVE Christmas, spending it with my immediate family only so no kids to think about. I don't speak to my DH family, he's due to spend Christmas with them this year. My close friend who recently announced her pregnancy has unfortunately had an early miscarriage so I'm trying to support her through that BUT another one of my friends announced yesterday 🤷 keep thinking I need to push out some triplets or something to try and catch up 😂 really going to go for it this month even though I'm not overly keen on an August baby.... What will be will be! Don't feel I can really be picky anymore!

@Marvellouslymadmum how come your trip was cancelled? Sorry to hear that.

@Carla2601 glad your day 21 bloods were good - what were they like?

@RugbyGirl1 @thislittlebird I was told on the phone normal but then the ladies on another thread said don’t take that as an answer so I’ve literally just picked them up from the surgery so haven’t googled what this means:

Progesterone: 38 (normal)
FSH: 4.1 (normal) - there is more detail under this
LH: 4.9 (normal) - also more detail here
Prolactin: 246
TSH: 1.16
T4: 16.3
Ferritin: 25

There’s a tonne more stuff on there but not sure it’s relevant think she tested me for EVERYTHING!

Any and all thoughts on my hormones welcome! Will do some googling when I get home x

@Carla2601 it can be hard, I have 17 nephews and nieces too though some are teenagers and youngest just 1 but I enjoy my times with them, it does make me want a little one even more bit I couldn't not see them, everyone's different though so you have to do what's best for you

@thislittlebird we were taking them to comic con in Liverpool to see some of their favourite actors but most of them have all cancelled so we have postponed to the next one in may instead. It's hard to feel nice in what you wear when you feel larger than you want isn't it?! I feel like that all the time at the moment, my tummy is just so bloated all the time!
The long dress and heels sound lovely to me

@Carla2601 I would say they're ok, 38 means you ovulated so not low and the others look ok as far as I remember

For me I'm all confused still looks like I'm heading for ovulation now, my temps have picked up a little, which would be in line with what the scanner guessed to be this weekend, only trouble is do I go for my day21 today like they told me too, or wait for a week after ov? Which is when it actually should be?! If I go now I'll have 0 progesterone so they may then either stop the clomid or double it 🤷🏼‍♀️ if I wait and go later will they tell me it's innacurate as it wasn't day 21? Who knows and I've no one to contact, tried calling gp my usual one isn't there so asked to speak to any for advice and no appointments until Monday 🤦🏼‍♀️

@Carla2601 I would like photos but I suspect I won’t like them. I have this ongoing moon face thing and find it quite hard to see myself not looking like myself in photos 😭. Maybe I’ll be ok with it if I chuck a load of makeup on.

Yeah it’s hard if they’re in Manchester. Can you do a trip somewhere nearby and visit briefly? I don’t know how long you’d normally stay for.

Very much agree about not taking the doctor’s word for it that they’re ok. I’ve learned lots of GPs aren’t good with fertility stuff and claim lots of things are ‘fine’ when they aren’t. But saying that, 38 does indicate ovulation.

My ‘day 21’ progesterone was low both times the GP did it. They said it was fine and I trusted them, that m time it was 17.5. Another time it was 10. It all makes more sense now I know I don’t ovulate optimally because there’s lots of follicles in there, I suppose.

My FSH and LH were 1.8 and 1.6 respectively (and very similar on the other test too), I think they’re too low tbh but no one seemed very interested. They just said low is fine, but clearly there’s a parameter given for a reason, and those parameters start at 2 or 3.

I’m picking up the dress tomorrow, let’s see if it fits 🤨. I’m cutting it all very fine tbh, not exactly sure how I’m going to have time to have it taken up and I also need to find my shoes which seem to have gone awol.

I’ve had those august baby thoughts before but fertility beggars like me can’t be choosers lol.

@Marvellouslymadmum the long dress looks a bit wrap around and it might hide my accumulated stomach fat lol. But yeah, it’s really hard. I hate that I’ve not managed to lose it this year either, but the fertility stuff has been draining and I just do not feel like consistently working out and eating well all the time. My emotions are all over the place.

What a shame you had to cancel! But there’s one coming up so that’s good.

Knowing when to get the day 21 is hard. If you think you haven’t ovulated yet I would wait a week.

I think I ovulated yesterday or today. Yesterday morning my left ovary felt very heavy and there was only two follicles in there. Assuming I won’t be able to walk when IVF comes and the ovaries are bursting at the seams :/

@thislittlebird I'm sure you'll get it all sorted and look lovely for pictures! I was going to wait a week for the day 21 but thought I'd phone the ward who did my scan to see what they said and she put me through to the consultants secretary who still still have it down so they can confirm I haven't ovulated yet then ring her tomorrow for results and she will tell me what to do next. Haha you'll have a multitude of egged ready to burst when it comes to ivf!

@thislittlebird I’m certain you’ll look gorgeous but I know what you mean; I don’t look different because of these fertility issues (yet) but I’ve always struggled with photos and I never like them either.

@Marvellouslymadmum sorry to hear you’ve had to cancel....hopefully you’ve got some fun stand in plans?!

I got A/F today which I knew was coming but I feel gutted regardless. Just feels like it will never be us and my husbands best friend and his wife were due their second yesterday so that announcement is imminent. Anyway I’ve planned to meet one of my best mates who has just started dating a really interesting (for want of a better word 😂) guy who’s been flying her here there and everywhere so I’m going to drink aperol and have a bit of escapism hearing all about that. I haven’t spoken to her about me so I’m looking forward to an afternoon of just trying not to think about it!!

@RugbyGirl1 how are you any update on the missing result?

Also I know I really shouldn’t be drinking but I’ve cried every day this week and I won’t have a load just an afternoon to try and feel fun and positive and give my poor husband a break from misery guts 😂🙈

@Carla2601
I'm sorry you feel crap and had been crying. I take a break from this sub every now and then but had to reply when I saw your msg.

It's a vicious cycle - this fertility thing. You get stressed when it's not working and stress makes it worse. Im not kidding - I stressed myself so much that once my period just stopped when I was TTC. Then I went on a wild ride on self help books, mindfulness, religion - you name it.

What helped me at the end I think ... hilariously - was my body got tired of being stressed and it just burnt itself out. And through the process I learnt that...fk it...I can't be stressed over something I have no control over. I can do everything I need to - fertility cup, supplements, doctors - but if it doesn't work, I tick all the boxes at least and I can't be crying over something that I can't tick.

Pls find little joys in life...i really hope you will break out of this. Oh yes - pls don't laugh - I did knitting and it's amazingly therapeutic. Somehow I knitted my way out of fertility depression. Nowhere near Tom Daley ...I'm still horrible at it but my mental health improved tremendously.

Maybe you just need to vent and I spoke too much - I guess the above reminded me too much of the Apr/may/Jun me.

I got my IVF treatment date email! Obviously it’s not specific but it’s offering Jan/Feb which is about right because my cycle will be the end of Jan. I had to send an email back and say whether I’d be happy to go on the pill to schedule me in (I’m not), my expected cycle dates, if we were free and when we weren’t free etc. Hopefully it’ll be my January cycle and not later, because my egg collection won’t be until February anyway.

I’m nervous now, it feels more real but I guess it’s time, it’ll be over two and a quarter years since we starting ttc by the time we start ivf.

@Carla2601 I’ve now rejected the dress option and moved onto jumpsuits! Going to be a busy week of clothes returns, have ordered half the internet.

Sorry AF come for you, it all sucks a lot. Omg seriously do not worry about drinking, life’s too short for that when TTC takes an age. Enjoy the escapism!

@thislittlebird that is SO exciting!!!

@ElsieG3m yeah it is! Also making me nervous now I know when it’s happening but if these medicated cycles haven’t worked we can but try. And, all being well and they agree to it my end of January cycle, we have a holiday to Edinburgh a couple of weeks before hand which will be nice before the mega stress starts around if the ivf has or hasn’t worked etc.

@Carla2601 we took the kids out for a meal and have them all here for the weekend so just doing some fun stuff really. Sorry af arrived for you, you can totally have a drink now!

@thislittlebird that's amazing and about time!!

@thislittlebird so pleased to hear you’re getting there with a plan, hope that means you can enjoy these trips knowing there’s something to come. I’m a jumpsuit gal too, asos did an amazingly flattering plisse kimono style one that I have in black. It’s one thing I can always go to and feel nice in - have a search they have good discount today too! I reckon it’s totally normal to nervous - I’ll be wishing hard for it to work for you.

@Marvellouslymadmum ah that still sounds lovely! I had a few aperols and woke up with no hangover so that’s a win! Cooking fresh stuff all day to freeze so I’ve got healthy food for the week. Although I have got to store some of it in plastic which I’m now worrying about 🙈🙈🙈.

Thanks everyone for the non judgement drinking!! When I posted I panicked! X

Hi, I would like to join. I’m 38 (39 in June) and been trying for a year but had a bit of a break over the last few months. I recently had some tests and have an amh of 6.1. I’m trying to decide whether to take the step and go for IVF. I feel like I should but I’m so scared about spending so much money and it not working. I’m sorry to hear about everyone else’s struggles. I am finding it so difficult and I have a lot of family and friends with children and I go through stages of feeling really bitter that they had it so easy.

@Carla2601 the bloody discount code wouldn't work the other day, it really annoyed me, so I had to order at the normal prices. I bought a black kimono one and it is really nice, but I'm one size on the bottom and a smaller size on the top, so the top of it is loose, VERY gapey at the boobs, and my bra shows at the back, not sure I want to go braless with such a deep neckline really. I could get it altered but it won't be in time for next week. So I'm debating whether to keep it and make a couple of alterations. Not sure.

I'm likely wearing a jumpsuit now, just not sure what one because they haven't all arrived to try yet. The amount of plastic they use for every item ordered online makes me a bit sick though, it's all so wasteful.

The plastic tupperware fear lol. I've been there and now I've calmed down a bit again. But I did make the effort to buy some new glass tupperware and chuck the old stuff, also switched to milk in glass bottles.

I'm going to be drinking next week. I really don't care for the judgement of people who can get pregnant easily, I'd be living like a saint for years if I cut all this stuff out.

@Vixyvix1 Welcome! I'm 39 in May, don't love that lol. Is this your first? The low AMH thing is hard, there's a few people here with it but it doesn't scupper your chances naturally. Do you get any NHS funding in your area? You definitely aren't alone in being bitter, I'm the bitterest bitch for about a year now :/