Immune/NK cells - pred thread 28

[myrainbowjourney]

Hi Ladies

New thread 🥰

If you comment to hold your place. I'll try and tag as many as I can xxx

Thank you @ginandoreos. I'm going to try really hard to be positive! Super tempted to book an interim scan somewhere else (cheaper!) but my husband will think I've gone crazy and as silly as it is, I feel like the nearest scan place to us is a bit cursed, as I've had two scans there and miscarried both times.

@treesall yep I totally understand that, there is a scan place round the corner and I just will not go there again. But I also understand wanting to have another scan!

I think you just hold on tight to hope now ✨. Definitely understand the 'danger zone'...currently in mine. It's so hard but letting the negativity and anxiety spiral (which I have done today 🙄) is really not helpful and I'm trying to turn it around and allow some positivity ❤️, I hope you can too.

Come on little ones Xxxxxxx

@treesall my husband definitely thought I was a little crazy with how many scans I had but you've got to do what you've got to do! If it'll help you then go for it. I get what you mean about the nearest scan places - at the hospital we call it 'the doom room'. There are only 2 scan rooms at the hosp and thankfully we've managed to mostly avoid the doom room.

Keeping everything crossed for you x

@treesall if it helps your anxiety, get the private scan, it's not a mental thing to do. I suffer with very intense anxiety and it's off the charts with anything pregnancy related so I always think you should do whatever you feel will reassure you. Try and hang onto that hope if you can 😘😘😘

@treesall that is great news that there's a wee embryo there and a heartbeat! 💓 Crossing everything for you! And oh my goodness that is terrible about getting overcharged, I got a bill for £900 last time just for intralipids, blood tests and medication and I burst into tears when I got in the car after it, I just couldn't believe the costs?! I will defo be double checking from now on!

Managed to finally get a hold of the nurses, they were actually really kind and said they would work round me and whatever flight I booked so heading down Tuesday morning. Hope its not too late for intralipids, I read they should last about 4-5 weeks for nk cells? At least it will be done and another thing ticked off the list xx

Morning everyone, I really hope you are all doing okay.

So regarding my quest for positivity.... I've failed. I feel so awful today. The reason being that I don't physically feel awful at all. I am supposed to be 10 weeks and I just feel totally normal. How can there be a little baby growing inside me? I just feel like it's all one cruel trick and my body will have failed again.

I have to make it to Tuesday when I have a scan and I guess go from there.

I'm basically attached to my phone, doing all the thinks I shouldn't, Googling, looking for positive stories and of course in amongst them are the sad stories and then I panic all over again.

I just don't know what to do if this doesn't work out...

Sorry - I'm so sorry if this affects anybody negatively.

There are lots of due date threads on here that I'm of course avoiding; I imagine they're full of people who are so happy and excited. I wish I could feel like that too xxx

Hey @ginandoreos sending you so much love. Don't apologise, that's what this thread is here for!

From what I gather, symptoms really start to fade at around 10 weeks for some people. Always remember that they come and go all the time.

I know it's hard to stop the googling but my therapist has told me that it only reinforces the anxiety - kind of like constantly checking you've switched off your straighteners.

Did you have a strong hb and good growth at 8 weeks?

X

@ginandoreos I know it's hard but try not to worry about lack of symptoms. I had side affects from the meds but very very few pregnancy symptoms until much later on, and even then I got off very lightly. Early on was mostly just constantly needing to pee, but again I think that's a side effect off the pred.

I was never sick. Had the very very occasional nausea feeling, but not bad at all and I always knew I wasn't going to actually be sick. I had rapid weight gain (stretch marks from about 10-12 weeks), but again that was the meds.

I finally joined one of those 'due date' groups you mentioned around week 16. I didn't have any of the symptoms everyone else seemed to have, just side effects from the meds. Eventually I got heartburn pretty badly but not until second trimester, and I had PGP pretty early on, but I think that was becaUs of the rapid weight gain. I felt so different to everyone else in the group because I was getting none of their normal pregnancy symptoms, and then I would feel heavier than the rest of them and anytime I mentioned things not being able to bend down easily, putting on xx amount of weight, struggling to walk very far, PGP etc. Nobody else was feeling the same at that point. Then all of a sudden everyone else had those things as mine were all easing off. It was strange, I can't quite explain it but what I'm trying to say in a very long winded way, is that my pregnancy has been very different to a 'normal' pregnancy, mostly because I didn't have the typical symptoms and then I seemed to get the later symptoms earlier on, which then eased off as everyone else was starting to get them. They've all been saying for weeks how they're desperate to get the baby out, they hate pregnancy etc etc but I don't feel like that at all (apart from wanting to get him out now because I know he's ok atm, of course). They sounds absolutely miserable but I'm basically carrying on as normal. Apart from the constant mental battle of course, but unfortunately I don't think that will end unless he's home safe.

Anyway, after not really feeling pregnant apart from a horrible few weeks in second trimester, I am now officially full term, and he's definitely still alive and moving around in there, so try not to worry ❤️ x

@ginandoreos also yes to hiding the due date groups until you're ready to join one. I used to hide them ALL the time and I'm sure everyone else does here too

Ahhh bless you guys, I really, really appreciate your replies.

I know that all I can do really is get to Tuesday. My last scan was okay (except I have a haematoma and that's obviously playing on my mind too. No bleeding yet).

But yesterday I really upset myself by getting out my file of 'medical' paperwork, to look at the dates my losses were 🙄. Which was a silly thing to do as my first loss I had a private scan before the 12 week one where I found out, and the dates didn't even match and the sonographer at the hospital didn't even print me out a report... (among many other failings) so that was a stupid thing to do.

I am so lucky to have a little girl, my pregnancy with her was probably what you would call a breeze - maybe rose tinted glasses - although I do still remember worrying too.

The last couple of years has been taken up by these extreme highs and lows and I'm just so desperate for it to work out and to be able to move on from the tracking, the hope, the despair, the lack of faith in my body......

I used to be such a positive person and I've definitely become a shadow of myself at times.

Maybe I'm just having an extremely hormonal day and I can count this as a symptom 🙈.

Really appreciate your replies and also hearing your personal experiences - thank you so much xxxxx

P.S. @daffodil it is so wonderful to hear you are full term and your little one is soon to be here! 😍❤️❤️❤️

@Luckyducky2 I'm so glad they finally got you sorted and were accommodating, and glad you haven't got too long to wait for your intralipids.

@ginandoreos bless you, I totally understand how you're feeling (as I sure everyone else does too). Until the point you can feel the baby moving, pregnancy is going to be a hideously stressful, anxious and all-encompassing period, and I don't suppose any of us will feel like we can breathe until such a time as the pregnancy is over. I don't have any advice because I'm exactly the same (i think I've spent most of the last 24 hours googling slow fetal heart beat info and working myself up into an anxious mess).

I will have everything crossed for you that you see that heartbeat on Tuesday and all looks perfect xx

Hey everyone, well I woke up today all happy and hopeful and I've suddenly started having brown discharge and a burning feeling in my tummy 😔 My dad has taken my little boy to his football practice and I just can't stop crying. I felt so good, I dont understand why this is happening?! I am absolutely freaking out, if I lose this one it will be my 7th loss and I just don't think I can take anymore 😭😭😭 I havent told anyone I'm pregnant apart from my parents who have been amazing, I guess I just wanted to talk to people who understand. I'm just so bloody sad and drained from this constant cycle of hope/fear/grief xxx

Hi everyone,

Just started bleeding today. I'm beyond heartbroken. Just don't think I can do this anymore. I really don't know what to do. Tried the EPU to no avail and tried CRP. I'm thinking I just let it happen naturally again. I feel like I'm having an out of body experience & feel like such a failure. Seeing my partner crying is just the worst as I feel like I'm letting everyone down.
I can't believe I've had all this treatment and it's still not even got to 6 weeks. Has anyone else had a similar experience? No idea what to try next.
Sorry for the negative post but I'm just breaking down xxx

@Luckyducky2 Argh I am so sorry you are going through this, it's really so crap to add that on top of all the other worry. I had brown discharge with my little girl and it all worked out. But this is the thing with what we've all been through, everything causes so much anxiety. Are you still in pain? I really hope it all eases off soon.

It's frustrating not to be able to contact the clinic at the weekend 🙄. Sending lots of love and positive thoughts for you xxxxx

@tumbly oh I'm so so sorry, this is all so unfair. How are things now? I really wish you didn't have to feel those feelings, but I understand them too, it's just so horrible. Is EPU completely shut at the weekend? It's so hard to know where to turn for any advice or help. Thinking of you and we are all here to listen xxxxx

I'm sorry you're bleeding @Tumby ❤️ is it heavy and do you have cramping? I hope its not what you're thinking. If it is the worst, try and save what you can to get them tested as that might give you some answers. My 4th loss I passed at home and we got some results. If it's red blood it might be an idea to stop the aspirin for a couple of days until you can speak to crp.

@Luckyducky2 I'm sorry to hear you're spotting and worried. I hope that it's old blood and that all is OK. Can you call your ivf clinic? Mine gave me advice about my medication in my last cycle.

I'm sending you both lots of love and best wishes ❤️ xx

Thank you @ginandoreos and @VenusStarr - it's pretty heavy but the cramps haven't kicked in yet. Absolutely dreading it. I just feel so cut off, I can't believe this is happening again. @VenusStarr where would you get it tested please? Do you know if there's anything that can be done to fix it?

@Luckyducky2 just seen that you are bleeding too. I really am so very sorry. I know that it won't change how you feel but I'm going through it with you & if you want to talk any time, please let me know (hope that doesn't sound too odd).

Definitely stop the aspirin if it's heavy @Tumby I took mine to my epu. This is a bit detailed, but I hope it helps - I used a sieve when I went to the toilet and we transferred it to a tupperware tub and kept it in the fridge overnight as it happened in the evening. So if something happens today, keep it cold until Monday as they won't be able to do anything until then. We took it in first thing the next day and I had to sign a consent form to say what we wanted to happen once they completed the tests. It took about 10 weeks to get the results.
If the results are a normal baby (mine were) then Dr S will look at your protocol to see what needs to change as it suggests that hasn't worked. If it's a chromosome issue, that means the protocol wouldn't have helped.
My last loss was not related to my nk cells so I'm doing more tests before trying again, but knowing that has definitely helped me feel hope.
I'm so sorry this is happening. X

@Tumby I'm so sorry to read this. Are you on cyclogest? I had a red bleed just after 6 weeks and the consultant said it could be due to the cyclogest because it can irritate your cervix. I had a heavy red bleed in the evening, nothing through the night and then again heavy the morning, then it stopped and I haven't had any since. I didn't have any cramping either.

I really hope that's all it is for you ❤️

@tumby and @Luckyducky2 how are you feeling ❤️? I've been thinking of you all day. Xxx

@Tumby I had some very heavy bleeding at 6 weeks in my precious pregnancy and when I went for a scan they said it was just my cervix irritated and that there was no sign of miscarriage. I got told it was completely unrelated to my mmc. There so also seem to be a lot of people on this treatment plan who have haematomas from when I read through past posts.

@Luckyducky2 brown discharge is old blood so try not to worry too much, I have been told on multiple occasions that it's nothing to worry about and very normal

Really hope you're both ok xx

Thank you all for the support. @VenusStarr if there are chromosome abnormalities, does this mean there's nothing we can do?

The pain (emotional not physical) is immense and I'm just not sure how to go through this again. Been crying so much that my eyes hurt and I can't stop.

Really hope this isn't triggering for anyone, I'm just completely at broken point. No idea what to do - whether to just let it happen or try to see someone, but all the EPUs are closed. What an absolute nightmare.

X

Thanks for the support girls, what would I do without you all. @Tumby I'm so sorry you're bleeding aswell, its so hard knowing whether to keep fighting or just let go and let it happen (not that we can stop it anyway, but you know what I mean). I had a good cry when my wee boy was out at football but trying to keep it together now he's home. I've just got spotting now and a bit of light cramping too. I guess it could go either way? I've done the classic googling and could be the fragmin that I'm on, or an ectopic or maybe it's because we put 2 embryos back? I have no idea but I guess I'll just need to take it easy and see how it goes.

@ginandoreos that is a comfort to hear you had it too and it all worked out well with your little girl....as you say I think we've been so scarred with all that's happened its just unbearable seeing any of these signs it might be going wrong.

Our ivf clinic is shut at the weekend (other than emergencies, doubt they would class this as one?) but was thinking I might see if I can get another blood test on Monday and check hcg levels are still rising....no point paying a fortune to go down to Epsom if its bad news? Xxx

When I was bleeding @Luckyducky2 I did call my clinic on the ooh number and they were fine and really kind. I didn't get told off for it not being an emergency. It was good to speak to a doctor even though he couldn't do anything. Maybe see how you are in the morning?

@Tumby have you had parental karyotyping done? We both had bloods done after number 4 and they were fine, but they could reveal a balanced translocation, so you or your partner may be carriers of genetic disorders which could be a reason for losses. But generally chromosome issues are random and are unlikely to reoccur. I don't think Dr S thinks karyotyping is necessary, but I'm glad we got it done. I was under Tommy's before Dr S and they did it for us (had to practically beg though). Are you open to an nhs recurrent miscarriage clinic? They could do the bloods for you.

I understand that helpless feeling, it's awful. Is your partner with you? Xx