Stupid amnesty in TTC

[SareBear87]

Does anyone else feel totally lied to and a bit lost at times when it comes to TTC?

I'd like to think I am a well educated woman but I find the whole situation way harder than I first thought. So I'm offering a stupid amnesty in the hope that I can get some answers!

My sex ed at school was solely focused on how not to get pregnant (my elderly history teacher waving a wooden phallus around was enough to put anyone off). Seeing as I've nailed that for the odd 22 years I thought doing the reverse would be simple...

Naively I thought I'd stop taking my pill, magically overnight become a fertile goddess and finally make use of my child bearing hips. However the reality is that 6 cycles later (which I totally get is not a long time) I haven't even had a wiff of a BFP.

I totally get the basics but I have questions Dr Google just isn't answering! I guess I need an idiots guide or at least a friend that won't judge me!

So Ladies my first question is - if my OPK strip is positive, does that mean I'm ovulating right now? That day? 24 hours later? Sometime that week? Do I need to wait for it my levels to drop? Or have I ovulated?

All help gratefully appreciated!

I know right? All the stress I've had in the past, like missing one pill and then being scared to end up pregnant for a whole month. I was so scared at times to accidentally get pregnant because of all those stories, I didn't enjoy sex sometimes. Well!

But yes sure, ask your questions. We're here to help each other out! No, a positive OPK strip means a surge in LH, which means you're about to ovulate. LH surges around 36 hours before ovulation. So the moment you're having a positive, you will ovulate in the next 36 hours. Could also be 12 hours, it totally depends on each woman.
So let's say the ovulation will happen in 36 hours, the egg is viable for about 24 hours. That means you have about 2,5 days where conception is possible.
But since sperm can live up to 5 days inside the cervix, having dtd as soon as you got a positive is perfect. And probably one day before if possible. And a day after. Just to cover all bases.
To find out if you really ovulated, you would need to check your basal temperature. There are many threads about it if you're interested in it.

Fingers crossed for you!

Thank you @Bundaberg84 that makes so much more sense! I really appreciate the help! I was worried that I had peaked and we had totally missed the window!

Temperature tracking seems like a minefield I'm not sure I want to get into! I was taking the laid back approach and only this month started with the OPKs (only to realise I didn't actually know exactly the results meant!)

Let hope we are successful within the year and I don't need to go down that route!

For OPKs - do you have a normalish and regular cycle length? If not, then I wouldnt bother with them as they cause me sooo much stress (mega long cycles with multiple LH surges aka body making loads of attempts to ovulate but not succeeding)

Omg so feel you on everything you said. I also thought you get pregnant after having unprotected sex.... Silly me!! Two miscarriages, a chemical and been trying for 6minths since my last mc...and here we are...waiting on that BFP. Funny part about getting a BFP is that I can't even get excited because I got BFP three times and it never progressed last 6 weeks. It is the most stressful and exhausting thing I ever gone through.
I think starting with ovulation kits is the right thing to do. I did temping for the first time this month and every morning I was stressed if it didn't give me the reading I needed (ie. Not going up at ovulation). Some women here can tell by their cervical mucus if they are ovulating or the positioning of their uterus...all that goes right over my head.
It's a lot.... I'm about 6or7dpo right now and feeling nothing, and reading all these women talking about cramps and other symptoms, surely makes you feel like this month is a dud as well. I will test in a few days of course and know then.
Sigh. I dunno... All we can do is have hope with each new cycle that this is the month... But some days it's sooo hard to be positive. My poor partner has seen me at my absolute worst in the last 6 months lol but due to my age I can't afford to take a month off 😏

@VixFromThe6ix so sorry to hear about your experiences. Have you been offered any further testing for recurrent losses?

I agree with the general frustration and sadness - 1 yr and 3 months into TTC, one loss at 11 weeks discovered at 12 weeks, only 6 cycles in that time, no bloody luck.

@VixFromThe6ix I am almost terrified to ask....

How do tell what position your uterus is in?? I didn't realise it even moved - I feel I need to revisit my GCSE biology

You can learn to feel it, you can google it, but I didn't figure it out completely so I thought I don't have to be THAT much of an expert.
After the first cycle I bought a CB fertility monitor and while it's kinda expensive, it's hassle free and now I know when my ovulation date is. And it tells me when to test so I don't have to think (too much) about it. Which is, of course, easy to say and hard to do.

@TheDaydreamBelievers we went to a fertility clinic and ran all the tests. Nothing alarming came up so they told us to keep trying. We've been at it for 6 months and nothing. Funny enough both miscarriages we got pregnant first time trying... I have no idea what my body is thinking or what it needs to have it stick lol

@SareBear87 hahaha apparently it rises.... Right??? Who knew!!! Why were we never told this. I'm 37 and I feel like I'm just learning about periods, and hormones and cm and services and temperature. Like I just found out sperm lives up to 5 days inside of you (ew?)... I'm just blown away for all the information I never knew about.

Makes you wonder why even go on birth control if we can just track days of ovulation and know when to have or not to have sex 😕