TTC after MC - new thread for newbies / lurkers on other threads!

[Lowkeyloopy]

Hi all!

I know there are several threads dedicated to this topic, which I've lurked on for several weeks without saying anything, but some threads (sadly) have so many people on them that it can be a bit hard to follow, or it feels awkward to jump into the middle of a conversation between people who have been chatting for a while. Does anyone fancy joining me on a new thread?

My story: 33, TTC baby #1, conceived first cycle in Feb, but had a MC at 6 weeks in early March. Absolutely awful, as everyone knows, and I was in a rubbish place mentally for a few weeks, but I've also counted my blessings - it was early, I needed no medical intervention and at least I know I can conceive. Also AF has returned today - 29 days after first day of my MC. I usually have a 28-29 day cycle so am so grateful that my body seems to be getting with the programme again.

So CD1 for me, and I'll be TTC this month and back to tracking - BBT from tomorrow, OPKs from CD 11, still taking my Pregnacare and trying to keep exercising and eating healthily!

Would anyone like to join me if they're going through something similar? How have you been coping since your MC? What's on your TTC to-do list?! (Other than the obvious..!)

Baby dust to all xx

Hi girls, hope you’re all okay! Hope you’ve all had lovely bank hols. I’ve been away in Ireland so didn’t wanna be using OPKs when I’m here so I’ve gone off my Flo app which says I should have ovulated yesterday on CD17. DP was too sunburnt from Saturday so we only actually DTD on CD12 (night time) and CD16 (night time)... feeling gutted I was trying to get him to do it CD15 and then yesterday too but he was too sun stroked on CD15 and he was red raw last night. I might try and get him to DTD again tonight to try and make sure just in case I O late but we will see. I feel like I’m definitely out this month for this reason so going to try and not think about it but it’s so hard. Trying to remember that the month we conceived we only DTD once the day before O so it could still happen but I know we haven’t given ourselves the best chance :(.

Sorry for my rant, hope you’re all okay and feeling good. ❤️

Hi @CMcA21 Hope you've had a lovely holiday! If you dtd on CD16 and ovulated on CD17 then that's ideal. It only takes one sperm! You are definitely not out this month. I can understand your frustration though, we put so much pressure on ourselves to do everything perfectly. Did he know it was your fertile time? Get him some factor 50 so this never happens again!

I'm 3dpo and just remembered I was planning to try POM juice this month so ran out to get some and OMG IT IS SO EXPENSIVE BUT SO DELICIOUS. I'm going to drink it forever 😍

@CMcA21 gosh I hope your dp is OK! Sounds like nasty sunburn!! @Flopsy88 is right though - you are absolutely not out!! Any sperm that's there prior to ov has a chance!! Even the ones from cd12 had a small chance of being around. But I am definitely not practicing what I preach and I totally get the misery at this point in the month... keeping my fx for you.

@Flopsy88 @SparrowMaiden thanks keep everything crossed for me. He did know it was my fertile time but he’s not as impatient as me and also is a lot more chilled. He knows all the stats and said ‘there’s still only a 1/3 chance so why am I gonna be in pain’ ... because I said so! 😡 but yeah I’ll try and think positive and I’ll go and get some Brazil nuts tomorrow and keep taking my vit b6 as that’s meant to help uterus lining!

The sunburn is horrendous - never seen anything like it honestly it’s red Raw. He regularly boasts about his swarthy olive complexion as well 😂 idiot.

Where did you get the POM juice? Could. I get normal pomegranate if I can’t find it? Gonna go back through the thread and find that comment about what to have after O for TWW

Omg @Lowkeyloopy congrats ✨✨

Thanks @justwant2beamum ! How are you getting on?

I got a nice dark line on a FRER yesterday which made me happy. AF would be due today or tomorrow so going to do another one tomorrow morning and if it’s still dark or darker I’ll stop testing... hopefully..

Being PG again has made me think about how many “symptoms” must just be pre AF progesterone related. I really haven’t had many to shout about from occasional serious hunger and sleepiness.

Actual lol at your love for the POM juice @Flopsy88 ! It is yummy. @CMcA21 I just get mine at Sainsburys. It needs to be 100% pomegranate - I’m not sure if other brands are 100%. Also, as the other girls have said, you’re definitely not out as that timing could be spot on! As flopsy says, it only takes one sperm to make it through! That sunburn sounds awful - I hope he’s learned his lesson for the rest of the summer! 😕

Hi everyone,

Hope it's not too late to join? I've been a 'Mumsnet lurker' for a couple of years now, swapping from the Infertility forum, to Conception, to Pregnancy and now back again!

I'm 34 years old and we have been TTC our first for the past 2 years. We were just about to be referred to the fertility clinic last year when Covid hit and everything closed for 7 months.

We finally got a telephone consultation in January of this year and I was referred for some of the standard blood tests as the ones I had done by my GP the previous summer were out of date. Around the same time I also paid for a check up at a private IVF clinic where I was diagnosed with low ovarian reserve.

As I'm sure you all know, you need to be on Day 3 of your period to book in for the blood tests and whilst waiting for this my period typically went AWOL. More out of frustration than anything I decided to take a pregnancy test and nearly fell off the bed when it came up positive!

Unfortunately I started bleeding 4 days later and had an early miscarriage at just over 5 weeks.

Having convinced ourselves that it would never happen naturally this almost spurred us on to try harder (you know after the first few months the 'fun' of trying disappears pretty quickly!) and we decided to try again without waiting for my period.

By some miracle I fell pregnant again straight away. We went for an early scan at 7 weeks and were told that it was twins, both growing well and with little heartbeats.

A few days after that I started to lose all symptoms (not that I had many) and got this sense that I wasn't pregnant anymore. We went for another early scan just before 9 weeks and were told that they had stopped growing at about 8 weeks and 4 days.

I had an MVA a week and a half later and I'm just on my 1st period post MMC which has lasted about 9 days so far!

I'm trying to keep positive and not be defeated but some days I'm just overwhelmed by how unlucky it seems.

Typically after waiting so long for the fertility appointment I go and fall pregnant the month I get to the top of the list which automatically moves me to the bottom even though I have no baby to show for it.

I had a consultation yesterday to start acupuncture as I'd heard some good things about that but otherwise I'm just trying to mentally prepare myself to try again.

The strength and determination we all have to show astounds me and I wish you all the very best of luck in your journeys. Hopefully we can offer moral support along the way!

How's your DP today @CMcA21? Have you done any OPK's since you've been home?

@Lowkeyloopy so pleased that you're seeing a good progression! I hope you'll still hang around on this thread to provide us with your support and wisdom!

@TBF29 welcome. Sorry to hear about your struggles, sounds like you've had a really tough time. You're right about everyone having a lot of strength. When I first had my MC I was adamant that I couldn't TTC again but we quickly pick ourselves back up don't we. I honestly don't think men could/would do it...!

I'm 9DPO today and feeling fed up now. I think I must be hormonal as I've been in a (secret) mood with DH all afternoon because he made himself a cup of tea and didn't ask me if I wanted one. I've got no other signs of AF, so I'm taking that as a good sign. I'm going to try to wait to test until Saturday/Sunday.

How's everyone else?

@ItsMeantToBe thank you. I agree!

To be honest I was so naive to a lot of things before TTC and I've learnt so much for this forum! I never knew there was such thing as a missed miscarriage or anything like that.

Obviously in an ideal world none of us would be on here posting about our losses etc but it's nice to know there is somewhere to turn.

How do you all find talking about it in your every day lives?

@TBF29 I am so sorry to hear about your losses. So annoying about the list as well, really bad luck and I feel so bad for you 🥺❤️ Sending you so much love and strength.

@Lowkeyloopy fingers crossed that I’m not out, I forgot to get Pom juice today but I’ll have a look tomorrow.

@ItsMeantToBe he’s better but still burnt. We went to look at a wedding venue today so that was nice😀 we ended up DTD yesterday so that’s 3 times in 6 days hoping that’s enough for us. Didn’t do any OPKs as I’m on day 19 of my cycle so I feel like it would have happened by now and if I got a negative I feel like I would have started spiralling so I’m trying to be positive

I’m always in secret moods with DP haha... let us know how you get on with testing if you cave early.

We’ve had murder tonight over the fact that he’s a 28 year old man and has ordered a paddling pool when we’ve got no kids.

I bumped in to my mum and dads friends today while shopping and they were delighted to tell me they’ll be grandparents in November... I felt like saying my dad should be a grandad in October 😢 it was sad but they were so excited, made me feel awful for my dad!

@CMcA21 that must have been so hard to hear, and to your face so you had to hide your emotions from them. I've found it so much easier to deal with when it's a message/post and I can let my ugly feelings out without them knowing.

So this is TMI but today I've been really dry and uncomfortable 'down there' externally. Cervix is really low, lowest it's been in a while and seems closed. I've done a OPK tonight and it's a 1.2 (my peak was 2.78 but I've been around 0.4 this week). I'm expecting to wake up to AF 😢.

Hi @TBF29 and thank you for sharing your story, it sounds like you have really been through it. By comparison I feel like I've had it really easy, I had a chemical pregnancy (4 weeks exactly) in March and that is my only experience of pregnancy loss, but even that has been pretty hard to cope with. You asked how we find talking about it. I've only told a few friends and I've quite often found myself saying things like "it's fine, it was really early, these things happen" even though it wasn't fine, it was really really upsetting, and even though it was only a few days, I had fully invested myself emotionally in that little cluster of cells. But I guess I don't want to bring people down talking about it. Although to be honest, a friend recently announced she was pregnant with her second, both times it's happened the first month of trying, and she asked how I was and I couldn't hold it back and literally said congratulations and by the way I recently had an early miscarriage in the same sentence... and then felt like a b*tch for trampling on her happy news... she was lovely about it though...

Sorry I am incapable of keeping these posts short!! @ItsMeantToBe I'm also on 9dpo - when is your AF actually due?

@sparrowmaiden I don't think any loss is easy to deal with, no matter how early. But I agree that you do almost feel like you have to put a brave face on it so as not to bring other people down.

I'm trying to be fairly open talking about it because I think it does often feel like we have to keep it a secret and hide it away. But then I'm also conscious that me talking about it could be triggering for other people if it reminds them of their own loss! It's really difficult.

I've found that I'm ok when I'm in my own little bubble with people I see regularly but I've developed a bit of a phobia of meeting up with people I haven't seen in a while because a) I'm always convinced they'll tell me some unexpected pregnancy news that I won't be able to cope with or b) they'll innocently ask how I am and I'll randomly burst into tears!

The whole thing is an emotional rollercoaster!

Am I seeing things??? 🥺

@ItsMeantToBe Ooo... I was going to say that I couldn't see anything but when I turned the brightness down it did look like there was a very faint line!!! I hate to say it but I think probably the best thing is to wait and test again in a couple of days lovely, 10dpo is still super early... fx for you!!! Xx

@ItsMeantToBe That's definitely a pink line!! Congratulations lovely!! Xx

@ItsMeantToBe I can see it!!! Fingers crossed for you!

Thanks everyone. It's definitely there. This pic is probably better. I'm excited to tell DH.

@SparrowMaiden When are you planning on testing? Good luck!

Ah yeah that's loads clearer!!! Huge congrats!!! I'm not due on until Wednesday earliest (I have a really long luteal phase) and I've decided I won't test until I get home from holiday, which would be a week on Sunday...and obviously only if AF doesn't show up. So I've got a bit of a long wait still!! Just took my dd for a walk though and she was being a grump so I had to carry her for about a mile round the woods. Pretty sure I can't be pregnant because that required WAY more energy than I would have if I was!

@ItsMeantToBe Awh yayyyy huge congrats! So exciting xxx

@ItsMeantToBe congratulations! That’s fantastic news!

@TBF29 welcome and so sorry for your losses. I can completely relate to the anxiety about seeing people who aren’t in your immediate bubble. Every single guy that my DH has played golf with since the courses reopened has asked when we are going to have a second. The first time this happened was just a week after I’d had an MVA for a MMC at 9 weeks. He brushes it off mostly but I know it would really upset me. I would also be very tempted to tell them exactly what had happened because hopefully it would stop them inappropriately asking other people, even though it would be really awkward! It’s making me not want to meet up with people though.

@ItsMeantToBe Omg that’s definitely a line! So exciting. Congratulations! Have you told DH? How are you feeling?

@TBF29 Welcome to this lovely group! I’m so so sorry for what you’ve been through. It seems so incredibly unfair and cruel that anyone has the kind of journey you’ve had. You sound very brave and very positive and I’m sure your successful pregnancy and happy ending will be just around the corner.

Happy to update that my lines seem to be progressing well and I got 2-3 weeks on a CB yesterday which is right where it should be. See pic for evidence of the POAS obsession! They’re each 48 hours apart from the last FRER and digital which were both yesterday. 11, 13, 15 and 17 DPO. Before my MC I got 1-2 on a CB digital when it should have been 3+ so seeing 2-3 is reassuring. So I’m going to stop testing now and try to relax a bit..

I’m with my parents for the weekend and told them last night. They know about the MC so I wanted to give them some good news for a change and let them know I’m currently happy and feeling positive! They understand it’s early days still but are very happy.

Of course, now I’m worried I’ve jinxed my pregnancy but I’m trying not to think like that!

I’ll definitely be sticking around this thread to see how everyone gets on - I’m so invested!

Sunny Saturdays everyone.

@bea19 thank you. To be honest I have answered a few people who have asked me things like 'when will you two have kids' exactly like that! I know they don't mean anything by it but I think people should be more aware. I know my husband keeps most things to himself, particularly during the period we struggled to conceive at all as men are quick to make jokes about 'firing blanks' etc!

I find it so frustrating that people can't get help until they've had 3 losses in a row as it's not just the immediate effect of the pregnancy loss but everything that goes with it such as social anxiety.

Thanks for the welcome @Lowkeyloopy and huge congratulations to you! I love a good news story to give us all hope and a bit of a boost!

@TBF29 glad I’m not the only one who would call people out. I know people don’t mean to be hurtful but at the very least they are being thoughtless.

I’ve just finished reading It Starts With The Egg - has anyone else read it and used any of the suggestions? I’m tempted to try the supplement recommendations but as most are related to egg quality they would take three months or so to have any effect and I am so impatient!

@Lowkeyloopy so pleased to see your line progression and that you’ve been able to tell your parents.

Also, I think at least one of us had tried ‘sperm meets egg’ but I can’t remember who… Does anyone know if there any advantage to this approach compared to just having sex every day in the FW? Other than stamina 😂