The SI Undergraduates: Syringes, Yoghurt Pots and Legs in the Air part 4

[MrsKin90]

I hope this name is okay. It's late and nobody is volunteering so it'll have to do 😂

Starting yet another thread on self insemination before our other one kicks us out!

Welcome to THE most supportive group you could wish for if you’re starting or you are already on a self insemination journey.
Remember, nothing is TMI and you are not alone. 💖

Err tagging at random but likely to forget someone...

@Makingnumber2
@Janefx40
@primrosechill
@Sydney1986x
@Birchybirch
@Lori23TTC
@Oilyoilyoilgob
@Carol1980

I know I've definitely missed people 😬 sorry!

I'm not tagging our bfp ladies right now (would you want to be tagged?! I've no idea) but hope they keep an eye on us and chip in often with wisdom and support ❤️

@MrsKin90 and @Makingnumber2 thank you so, so much. I’m sorry to everyone for posting lots yesterday, I was more wound up than I realised, I’m sorry for thread hogging 😳
Yes it would be mild ivf to avoid over stimulating ovaries, which he said can be really bad and even cause death. Which I knew but I was a bit and thought let’s go there when we know for sure eh?!
I asked if by starting privately would that bugger up nhs but he said they can claim it back if eligibility is accepted, what with the length of time trying and husbands erection issues. So if that works we may get financial help back for cycle one which we didn’t expect.
My husband checked online and another indication of overstimulation is when fsh and LH is a 2:1 ratio, but mine is at 1:1 so I’m praying it’s just a good natural high level of amh.
Makingnumber2 you know me so well, yes I was awake a lot ticking! But I love the raffle ticket analogy. Can I have the consultation with you next time please ☺️

He was a nice-ish guy, the call was 45 mins late which the clinic rang to apologise in advance for, and he didn’t realise we were paying privately etc.
I think afterwards I just wanted a bit more pampering, like how our doctor is who is just so lovely. My husband called me a diva 😄

Mrs kin how are the headaches? I hope they are easing now. I’m sending lots of good luck wishes for you for the SA results. Thinking of you xx

Makingnumber2, hope you and the cramps are ok. I’m praying you have your BFP and whichever way it goes, sending you big hugs with everything you’ve been through 💚 Still always coming on here with your lovely, calming words xx

Morning ladies. I feel like I only pop up now to comment on IVF stuff which isn't my intention - I suppose it's just that I'm right in the IVF zone at the moment.

However this is an SI month. Started OPKs today which is early at day 7 but not sure what my body will do post IVF. Always been pregnant in some form after a cycle (chemical, DD, miscarriage) and my period has always taken ages to come but not sure what will happen after a straight negative.

@MrsKin90 I feel for you with the headaches. They really are the worst. Hope it has eased up.

@Makingnumber2 best of luck for this month. Really hoping for something good to come your way

@Oilyoilyoilgob the stats are always weird but bear in mind a totally healthy couple would only have a 38% chance of conceiving in any cycle if they timed sex perfectly! So for a couple who have struggled to conceive that is a great chance. We sometimes forget what the normal odds are when we hear IVF ones. IVF clinics don't tend to hold your hand - they can be a bit like machines. But they're working towards getting you pregnant so that's no bad thing

Best of luck x

@Janefx40 please keep commenting away, I really appreciate it! It’s so nice to have someone knowledgeable talking about this ☺️

I’m ok about the 30%, I’d seen it on their site. I think like you said, it was more machine like and I think I expected different. To be honest I just think I need(ed!) different as I still feel absolutely gutted I haven’t got pregnant and this could be our path.

So a huge amount of this is my own feelings coming out 😕 Then the talk of cysts/fibroids etc, I’ll be honest I’m shitting myself and I think I need to book some counselling to help with health/medical setting anxiety.

Thank you so much for talking about your ivf journey.
I’m hoping you see gradual darkening lines for your opk and you have a settled few days leading up to ovulation for your SI this month 💚 xx

@Oilyoilyoilgob you're not thread hogging at all! This is what the thread is for- for all of us to let our thoughts and feelings out and our updates, as and when we need. I definitely thing some counselling/CBT for your health anxiety would be helpful. I've found CBT so helpful previously for GAD. My area has a self refer option for CBT- wait times pre covid were usually 5 weeks for sessions and they would phone for initial assessment within 2 weeks of referral. I had phone sessions as it was easier to fit in with my day, but they prob offer phone and zoom now and some might even be opening up for face to face. Sorry you had a rubbish night's sleep- is it your accupuncture today? Would be perfect if it was to help you relax a bit and get a better night tonight.
Thank you for your lovely words and prayers too

Thank you @Janefx40 for your kind wishes as well. Wishing you all the very best with this month's SI and in some ways it must be nice that your LH surge hasn't kept you waiting too long. Will be keeping everything crossed this month is the month for BFP and sticky bean

@MrsKin90 really hope your headaches calm down soon- it is miserable having endless tension headache. Check your jaw isn't unconsciously tensed a lot. Sounds insane but if you periodically throughout the day loose your jaw, drop it down so mouth is open and just wiggle it side to side and up and down it can really help! I learnt that when I was putting a mindfulness session together for some of the kids I teach and we had a lot of fun laughing at ourselves making all sorts of crazy faces and shapes with our jaw doing those exercises. The laughter was probably just as medicinal as the exercises tbh.

I've rung the EPU today because this morning, 10dpo, I got a positive HCG. I have never had a positive pregnancy test this early before. It is faint but not a total squinter. I have a feeling there might be retained products and this is unlikely to be a new pregnancy. So I hope the EPU will call me back and book me in for some bloods and/or a scan to see exactly what is happening. With both my previous pregnancies I've never had a BFP before 12dpo and tests have always been negative at 10dpo so I'm not getting my hopes up tbh. I am trying to not let my mind run away with catastrophising and thinking it definitely is retained products from miscarriage and I'll have to go through a further d&c etc. Luckily work will keep me busy today.

@MrsKin90 that should say loosen your jaw, not loose or lose!!

@Janefx40 could I ask which opk sticks you use and how many times you test?
I’m using the boots one and am confused about the lines.

Oh thanks @Makingnumber2 I'll give that trick a go! Did you test our your HCG after your D&C? If you did then surely it must be new HCG? Hoping epu is helpful and crossing my fingers. I guess if you test again in a couple of days and the line is darker that might be a good indication? 🤞

@Oilyoilyoilgob I think some counselling sounds like it might be worth looking into if that's how you're feeling about everything.

@Janefx40 lovely to hear from you 🥰 I think it's fine if people want to talk about IVF on this thread. I very much feel like we're a team and no type of TTC is off limits even if it's not necessarily SI! Hope SI does the trick this cycle ❤️

We got the sperm results back yesterday morning - not good. Actually quite bad. So. Now the focus is weight loss to get to the fertility clinic. We both still feel a bit numb and like someone has stabbed me in the stomach. Didn't get much explanation about hubby's results from doctor so had to look up the bits I didn't understand. There are more "round cells" than there are sperm, which upsets me. 1% normal morphology. Most of the sperm are non motile. And viscosity is abnormal which surprised me as I've never even heard of that being an issue.
Anyway. That's my update. I've got a minimum of 3 stone still to lose to even be referred..and am only losing at 1lb a week so it'll probably be this time next year before we get referred 😔 praying for a miracle I guess!!

@Makingnumber2
Maybe just maybe it's a new pregnancy....I really hope it is for you x that would be such amazing happy news for you x

@MrsKin90 I don't even know what to say x my heart is breaking for you regarding the sperm analysis and your hubby must be feeling shit too x I hope he doesn't beat himself up about it too much and I hope your not getting yourself down too much x
It will take you a day or so to properly wrap your head around the whole situation but you are one strong lady x I have every faith that you will get through this tough time x
Sending you lots of love xxx

I’m so sorry to hear about the SA results @MrsKin90 it is absolutely understandable you are feeling
So upset. The viscosity can be easily treated with tablets and increased water intake; a good friend of mines partner had that issue. They solved the viscosity with meds but still had IVF due to fertility issues she had. Can you explore negotiations with your consultant e.g if you lost 21 pounds in say 12 weeks and the waiting list for the treatment was 12 weeks, would they agree to refer you once 21pounds down with the understanding you would lose the other 21 by the time your first treatment appointment was available? Perhaps worth an ask. I Think 21 pounds in 12 weeks is doable on a plan like slimming world or- if you’re desperate for fast results something like slim fast. I know it must still feel so daunting though. Sending you a huge hug. I hope you and DH Can take the time you need to digest the news and look after each other whilst you do. Xxx

Thanks @Carol1980 - we will see. I’ve got blood tests booked in Saturday. 🤞🏻

@Oilyoilyoilgob sorry to hear your ivf consultation has left you feeling flat - I know doctors need to share facts and not overpromise but I really wish they would sometimes remember just how stressful and disappointing ttc can be, and how much you need a friendly face to assure you that things have a good chance of playing out! Please try not to worry in advance about everything that might possibly be wrong and focus instead on knowing that you're taking all the right steps and exhausting all the options ❤️

@MrsKin90 sorry to hear about the SA results... it's obviously disappointing but at least gives you some answers. As @Makingnumber2 said, some of these parameters can totally be improved - that's the beauty of being a guy (and another way in which nature favours men 🙄): you CAN work on your fertility. My hubby's morphology was at 2.5% last summer and since then he's changed his lifestyle and started taking vitamins and it's now well within norm at over 5%!

It seems like so many women on here just can't seem to catch a break at the moment but @Makingnumber2 I'm keeping everything crossed that your hcg is indeed a bfp - that would be excellent! Keep us posted.

Big love to you all ❤️❤️❤️

@MrsKin90 I'm so sorry you're upset. It can feel devastating to get a result like that. In many cases a lot can be done to improve sperm. I can send you some extracts from my book on supplements if this would help. If you're wanting to throw crazy money at the problem, I also have the contact for the go-to sperm Dr. We saw him after a devastating sperm DNA fragmentation result (that eventually turned out to be wrong...you can't make this stuff up!). Don't feel like you've hit a brick wall - it's more like a bump in the road.

@Makingnumber2 I'm sorry about the confusion over Hcg. As @MrsKin90 says - if you had a negative test after your loss then this has to be new Hcg. I really hope that's what it is.

@birdbybird I use Clearblue digital dual hormone ones. They are very expensive but after the first month I don't end up using more than 3 or 4 a month so they last 2-3 months. I found it so hard trying to work out if lines were darker than one another so went digital. I like that it also detects oestrogen so gives me a range of fertile days. I just test once a day normally but I did read that at my advanced age (44!) it's important to be really specific with when you ovulate so I may do extras once I get my high fertility.

Xxx

@Oilyoilyoilgob yes I hear what you are saying. When we get to IVF we need a bit of support. It's worth trying to find this but yes also be aware you are unlikely to get this from your clinic! It's worse for the men - my DP gets fed up of being totally ignored!!

@primrosechill good luck for Saturday xxx

@Makingnumber2 I’ve just seen your post about your hcg, please be a positive for you🤞🏻
That’s great news about your blood test for this Saturday, I really hope the time doesn’t drag too much and you’re able to get some clarity on what is happening on the day. I’m really, really hoping that this is a positive pregnancy result for you 💚

@MrsKin90 oh I’m just so very sorry regarding results. I do hope you are both as ok as you can be right now, what a shock this must be for you both.
The plan outlined above by makingnumber2 sounds very good, I think it would definitely be worth trying that with the clinic re weight loss?

There is also ICSI available. We chatted about this last night with the consultant as well as ivf. It sounds pretty amazing-they drill a hole into the egg and inject a sperm into it directly to fertilise the egg. This is often used when the sperm count is low or motility issues. There will definitely be options for you both.

Could it be worth booking a private consultation with the ivf clinic you’ll use, once you both feel up to it? It may give you both further advice re weight loss/sperm that might help to reassure for the upcoming journey.
Hoping you’ll both be ok over the next few days xx

@Janefx40 I really do appreciate you letting me know that about ivf and the clinics. I’m feeling calmer about it all now having had time to digest everything.

Thank you so much for letting me know some info for both me and my husband. It’s really appreciated as I just didn’t know what to expect.
Feeling calmer about what he said about possible cysts/fibroids etc so I’ll wait to see what the ultrasound shows.

Thank you xx

@Oilyoilyoilgob we read a book called Get A Life before we started. It's IVF described first from the women's perspective and then from the man's. That book told us about men being sidelined and it was good because it's true and it forewarned DP. It's quite a light book in a way although as a warning the man can't perform to get his sample in it which I'll admit stressed me and would have done more of my DP had been likely to struggle in that way xxx

@Janefx40 thank you so much, I will buy this! You’ve been such a great help, it’s really kind of you to share your journey and knowledge 😊

Apologies to everyone for hogging the thread a couple of days ago, I haven’t been well on top of being a bit stressed and it all came out on here Xx

@primrosechill I’m sorry, I missed your message alert. How are you doing, ok I hope during your first cycle of ivf? Thinking of you 💚

Thank you for understanding and you’ve completely summed it up re the consultation. It felt pretty obvious we were the late, last call and also despite being told we must have all the forms back for the consultant, they’d gone unread eg him expressing surprise we were wanting to be private even though there were two pages I had to fill out about it etc
Husband said it’s the same about his line of work-it’s not over promising/covering up re potential medical results but perhaps not listing to us both everything that could be wrong in one monologue!

At least it’s done now and let’s see what our sperm and scan results end up like with them xx

Thanks lovelies I really appreciate it, I can't tell you how much you've all stopped me from hiding in bed and never coming out. As I've not even been referred yet I don't know if they'll even consider negotiations about my weight as I get the feeling the GP does the referral and they either reject or they don't. I don't think there's any negotiations to be had although I suppose we could pay to consult with them privately so they're more likely to listen to me beg and then accept the NHS referral? I'll have a think about it but I really want to lose my next half a stone before even attempting a referral. I've requested my doctor call me (should have been yesterday!) So will see if they do as I want to ask what they think best going forwards. Whilst I'm not totally against the advice of being able to improve sperm, I think I'm in too negative a place to deal with it. There was literally everything wrong with hubs results...
Low count, low motility, bad viscosity, too many white blood cells, low morphology, most of the swimmers that were moving were slow (and presumably a funny shape/damaged). He's taking vitamins and is already healthy, doesn't drink or smoke and is active and a perfect weight. I've asked him to cut back on diet coke but felt like a total prick for doing so, following advice from my acupuncturist. He only has one can every other day. He's one of these people who if he has a bottle of coke with like a meal deal, he'll only drink half and half the next time he wants coke. Who does that?? And I can't imagine it'll make that much difference.

We can't really afford to throw money at the problem and is it wrong that I don't want to spend months fixing it now and I'm happy just to go straight to IVF for a baby? I think we've both had enough to be honest.

I really appreciate the lovely responses and advice and offers for further advice - I will probably take you all up on any advice you can give as soon as I'm no longer on the "woe is me" train 🚂

ICSI sounds completely fascinating. I'm trying to look at the positives... we know the path we're on now. We will be eligible for IVF (eventually) we're lucky our locality allows two "cycles" on the NHS, there are private clinics nearby that do payment plans, and we've got family that would probably give us some early inheritance if we really needed it? I just have to physically get there!

@Oilyoilyoilgob will you stop apologising for taking over the thread? 😂 ❤️

@primrosechill I'm excited to hear how you get on 🥰

I really absolutely could not cope without you all ❤️❤️

@MrsKin90 ok I will stop 😅

www.indiraivf.com/services/icsi/

The link above is of an Indian clinic but I like their write ups! This explains the ICSI procedure and who is suitable for it. My husband told the consultant his sperm levels (all seemingly alright) and the consultant immediately talked about this procedure 🤔 it sounds absolutely fascinating and I’m blown away by it.

There will be a range of choices out there suitable for you both, but for now like you said you just need to absorb this information and you wallow, grieve etc for however long you need to. We are all here for you night and day to offer an ear and a virtual hug 💚

It’s not wrong that you want to go straight to ivf, you’ve been trying for a while now and there’s a certain relief in knowing and accepting further help once you take that step. A private consultation when you’re ready might be just the thing you both need to get advice and any concerns answered ☺️

Sending you a huuuuuge big fat squeeze. Treat yourselves nicely over the next few days xx

@MrsKin90 just take time to be nice to yourself for now. It's a lot to take in. Best of luck with the Dr but don't feel defeated...there are lots of options for you both still

Ps all my cycles have been ICSI because we have an egg/sperm binding issue (ie the eggs and sperm just ignore each other) x

@MrsKin90
Hey love x hope you are well today x
I think I would be like you, I'd want to go straight to the ivf as if you do go on a vitimin/lifestyle change for hubs, that is still going to take a bit of time and not guaranteed results, if your able to go IVF sooner, I'd do it x you know yourself what you would prefer to do ❤️

I'm either 11/12 dpo and got a negative on a frer so think I'm out this month. Going to continue to take my progesterone cream until 14dpo, take another test and if it's negative still then stop the cream so my period can start x

@Makingnumber2
Is it today that you have your bloods at the doctors ? Have you tested again x 🤞🤞🤞

@Carol1980 sorry about your BFN. It must be disappointing after the progesterone cream

@Makingnumber2 yes best of luck for the bloods

Xxx

@MrsKin90 I think it's totally understandable that you want to do something drastically different after a long time of the current "strategy" not working out - I started feeling like I was in a massive limbo, doing the same things every month and hoping for a better result but instead getting a bfn every time. Feels like a Groundhog Day/week/month! There is absolutely no right or wrong way in ttc, and no judgement - if you can explore ivf, it might be wonderful to feel that you have a group of medical professionals helping you achieve your goal, so you can take a bit of a "back seat" for a bit. Really sorry you're going through all of this, I know how badly you want to be a mum! xxx

@Carol1980 sorry about the bfn :( it stil doesn't mean you're out, like you said, so I'll keep my fingers crossed for the next few days until the dreaded AF arrives. xx

@Makingnumber2 we so desperately need some good news on here so I'm keeping fingers and toes crossed for the bloods to show that you're pregnant today xx

I'm about to head out for my embryo transfer. I'm a bit anxious but mostly excited: There should be an embryo inside me today, and I'm just hoping it makes itself at home and turns into a sticky bean 🥰

@primrosechill
Good luck for today x I hope it all goes smoothly for you x ❤️❤️❤️

@primrosechill good luck today. Hope it goes well. It's a painless procedure. Try to get DH to make you laugh afterwards! Apparently laughter helps (who knows if that's true but it sounds nice!!) xxx