TTC 35+ Thread 8

[M4v3r1ck]

New thread ladies! Hope this works! 😃

@Noodella18 I’m 9 dpo and like you I ovulated later than usual (which is good cause it means I’m back to my regular 25-28 day cycle) and so I’m expecting AF on Thursday. I’ve decided to hold off until then. I don’t know if I’ll succeed though 😅

Hey everyone

Just checking in - 6dpo here and time is going so so slowwwwly. I've had mild dull aches low in the abdomen since 2dpo. I don't know if it's my mind wanting them to be there, or maybe they are normal and I've just not paid that much attention previously. Just got to wait but it's so annoying lol.

It seems so many of you are feeling really low about your age. I'm 38 as well, but TTC number 3. The first two were not conceived all that easily (1.5 yrs and 11 months) with a MMC and chemicals along the way. I know how disheartening it can be.

When I had my first I had just turned 30 and was in an NCT group with 9 other couples. I was the youngest by a mile! The other 8 Mums were all between 35 and 40 with most being 38/39. Most have gone on to have second children too with no problems.
The internet has many many benefits but unfortunately it can be a hot bed for negative stories. Think of all the women out there who get pregnant every day. Naturally when you start to have worries, you gravitate towards a community that understands. That's why reading every little thing on the internet can be bad for our mental health.
It's like when you work in customer service, they tell you that statistic show if a customer has a bad experience they will tell on avg 17 people. If they have a great experience, they tell only 4! It's the same thing here... Does that make sense?
I'm just trying to say KEEP GOING, it will most likely happen.

After 1.5 yrs of trying at 29, I got pregnant on honeymoon when we didn't 'try'. There has to be something in it that everyone tells us to relax. Easier said that done though I know :)

Much love and baby dust to everyone x

@thislittlebird that’s really odd, anything else different besides the meds this month? Do you have any cheapies to use until something changes or could the CB be faulty?

I’m also at fault for not asking more questions or researching but that’s perhaps because a few years back when I was 34 or 35 I wasn’t feeling too broody yet. It was only until the pandemic when my life slowed down that I had a moment or two to myself and started to think “wait a second, I’d like a baby or two that look like my husband and that are the product of our love for each other”

It breaks my heart even typing this out... oh well”

I could have typed this out @Twelvestars

We decided pre pandemic but then all my friends have since had a baby/about to have a baby who started trying in the first lockdown. One had one recently. I haven’t been in touch yet.

I frequently kick myself for not starting earlier.

You’re a similar age and AMH/afc to me @wj82! I’m 38 in May, 36 amh/28 afc.

All my friends (bar me) got pregnant without issue late 30s. It’s very possible, it’s just hard to say how why some of us aren’t lucky.

[quote Katiekattty]@thislittlebird that’s really odd, anything else different besides the meds this month? Do you have any cheapies to use until something changes or could the CB be faulty?[/quote]
Nothing different @Katiekattty, I do have slightly irregular cycles. So although it could be 26 days (last month), it’s usually 29, but has occasionally been as long as 36 days. So I guess I could still ovulate on day 24 or something but we’re not trying this month and I don’t see the point in keep testing because it is pricey. Cheapies don’t seem to work for me so that’s why the CB is my go to. So yeah.....seems kinda pointless to continue now. I know it’s either not happening or it’s late, I at least know my period will be a surprise event.

Had a google...maybe it’s the antibiotics. I’m on them for over 7 weeks and it seems they can effect oestrogen.
thefemedic.com/menstruation/im-taking-antibiotics-could-this-affect-my-period/

Oh dear ladies...spreading lots of positive and happy thoughts to everyone feeling a bit down today.

The sun is shining and tomorrow is going to be hot! You know what that means...as we’re not pregnant gin & ☀️!! Yay yay!!

@wj82 “ I often wonder which is worse - the chemical pregnancy, my fertility struggle, my regrets or my fear of being childless forever or that my worry that something may go wrong if / when i get pregnant next?” You just echoed my thoughts, save the chemical pregnancy. I hope you and @Misty84 are successful with IVF or natural, either way fingers crossed for you.

@Feanorous THANK YOU! For that positivity.

@wj82 I think I’m just deluded as I feel supremely optimistic! I’m 42, AMH 6.2 and afc 8 and I feel like a muthaeffing ROCKSTAR with those numbers at my age. 🤣

Ultimately, if I were to say to a gp that I’m just gonna have unprotected sex and will assume I WON’T get preggo they’d call me a loony!

It’s just luck. And if I can’t have a baby, we’ll, that’s just the way the world turns. I shall have more dogs and a much nicer car!

(I say this purely to raise - hopefully - a smile or two, not to make light of very real worries.)

I don’t really worry about achieving another pregnancy (I had an MC a few months ago) as I know nature will figure it all out for me.

And I’ve said it before, but my sister is currently pregnant after cancer treatment with an AMH of 3.2 and AFC of 6, so it’s really very possible for everyone here.

Xxxx

@thislittlebird I remember that’s how we first connected when I got on this thread. I suppose after spending time on this thread, a lot of the ladies here share this predicament of regret and whatnot.

Sorry about the stress of ovulation. Have you been issuing fmu? Why do I have a feeling that for whatever reason you might have missed the surge or is that not a possibility?

Touch wood yours and @wj82’s amh/afc numbers are good. You know, just like that article I shared on the previous thread referencing studies that are positive about conception for the over 35 group. It’s more about luck with the 20-22% probability every month and less so about age. I’ve come across young women (20s) on mumsnet who have been struggling with infertility - known and unknown reasons - so I try to be hopeful like that about our age. But to be realistic age does play a role.

@JessWi that is my positive thoughts at the moment. I’ve discovered that pink prosecco from M&S.

@Geriatric1234 hey hey! I love your positivity so hang around here always please! Actually I was just saying the same thing about luck. You know, I always try to remember my sister in law getting pregnant by chance at 43 and her husband at 45 and all the other success stories of women in their 40s and it just fills my heart with such hope.

@Feanorous thanks too for your big dose of positivity. Yes a lot of times things happen unplanned and unexpectedly and that includes pregnancies 😂 It’s science: stress hormones are not good for anything! But it is easier said than done (in my case). Ha!

Thank you ladies. I am trying hard not to spam this thread but fertility struggle is such a lonely journey! People may try to understand but no one really gets it until one experiences it.

Hi @Smiffette and welcome

Hi @Overlyanxious I totally get the whole feeling like it will never happen thing! I have been ttc for 3 years with 2cp amd 2mc, it's very hard to be happy for others when you're waiting for your turn!

Hi @wj82 it's definitely possible to have a healthy pregnancy at your age and beyond, you have good results too - how long have you been trying? I've seen a lot of people say they've tried acupuncture for stress. Is that a possibility for you?

For egg quality you can take a good pre conception vitamin plus ubiquinol then there are a load of other supplements that could help too. Have you have any vitamin levels checked?

@thislittlebird what a nightmare! I know
You're not ttc this month but would still be useful to know what's occurring 🤦🏼‍♀️

Yes to the positivity ladies! I turned 42 yesterday and need some hope 😂 I am feeling happy about the fact that my iron levels are much better now and that could've been having a massive impact on ttc plus if I don't get a referral letter bu Wednesday I've got a code to book In on the nhs line so hopefully will get my amh and afc tests soon too!

@Marvellouslymadmum happy birthday and I really hope 42 will be your year! I would consider better iron levels a good birthday gift haha. Fingers crossed you’ll get your amh and afc tests soon, whichever way possible 🤞🏻

@Twelvestars thank you! Yes I'm hoping so, though it could be a long wait still once I get the appointment booked but still progress

@feanorous
Spot on...I think the internet can be a negative place. Also bear in mind alot of the websites are from ivf clinics and other businesses that have a particular bias. Don't get me wrong...those businesses do a great job, but I do find their stats can be a bit biased.

Welcome to the other newbies! And sorry to hear some of you are a bit down today. I think it helps to think of all you did with your 30s, and all the experience you can hopefully bring to motherhood.

I tested on saturday at 10 dpo and it was BFN. Felt so crap about it that i am trying to hold off for another dsy or two before testing again. Feeling slightly hopeful this month which is prob ridiculous! :-)

@Feanorous thank you for your positivity! You are right, my sister was also the youngest in her NCT group at 34, most were 38/39/40. And thank you @Geriatric1234 for your eternal good humour! I am certain we will see some more bfp's on this thread very soon. Who else is coming up to the end of their cycle? My af is due on Friday/Saturday so not much longer to wait now.

Happy birthday for yesterday @Marvellouslymadmum!! 🥳

I’m usually in sync with @Kitekat81 roughly, but no, my body decided it was a no to ovulation and af this month lmao.

@Marvellouslymadmum happy birthday for yesterday!

Honestly, it’s really frustrating. I thought I’d be able to monitor it all while I wasn’t ttc. And I had just had my first normal cycle in months uggghhhhh. Oh well. I still have to go to acupuncture in April, then we have 4 days away. Looking forward to that.

Yeah it’s been fmu with CB @Twelvestars. I doubt I’ve missed it tbh, probably just my body being a cow.

And yeah, I think my afc is fine, at face value, but I’m also having issues ovulating well or whatever (low progesterone and what not), and I wonder if it’s a symptom of quite a number of follicles competing, I dunno. Either way, I’m not trying this month. Maybe stay in there, egg. Save yourself.

I’m getting quite into low alcohol wine and beer lately, enjoying a nice botanical sparkling wine tonight, so that’s a nice end to Monday.

@thislittlebird stay in there, egg. Thou shalt not escape this month! Enjoy your Monday night and cheers x

@Twelvestars thanks, I will do! Hopefully going to sleep well tonight after my run, and some nice food and drink.

And right on cue I had some EWCM for the second time after a few days without it. Think my body is trying really hard to ovulate and failing lmao.

Thank you @Kitekat81 @thislittlebird that low alcohol stuff looks quite good and there are loads of different kinds now too!

I'm pretty sure my body does that every month my apps can't decide which date I ovulate as I get a dip then higher temps then a dip and it repeats 2-3 times! 🤦🏼‍♀️

@KiteKat84

I think I'm just about off AF, 3 days!??? My body has lost the plot. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hoping those in their 2WW get some great news and those about to start the rollercoaster again, let's hope there's a BFP hiding round the corner.

It might do yeah @Marvellouslymadmum, if you get double sightings of cm etc. At least it’s trying!

I’m loving the low alcohol stuff tbh. What with ttc, my skin, the drugs, and already being a lightweight it’s nice just to have a low percentage wine or beer in the week and not feel effected by it especially. Fewer calories too!

@Feanorous So true about us all gravitating towards a community that understands.

@Geriatric1234 I love the story about your sister ☺️

@Twelvestars thank you for wishing me well! It’s very overwhelming looking at all the different private clinics 😕

@thislittlebird Your botanical sparkling wine sounds very nice indeed! Available in supermarkets?

Just out of interest, those on Ubiquinol, what daily dosage do you take, because jesus christ it’s expensive!🤪