TTC 35+ Thread 7

[sickofthisyear]

New thread- apologies for the unimaginative title!

Hi @KG1145 Any good friend will be kind and understanding if you explain how you’re feeling.

@KG1145 definitely talk to her about it and ask her for what you need, whether that's to not meet up or to meet up and not talk babies or whatever. A very close friend of mine totally cut me out for about 18 months due to pregnancy stuff but wouldn't talk to me about it and it really hurt because at the time I just didn't understand what I had done wrong. We're back on an even keel now, but even if she had just said "I'm sorry but I can deal with being around you at the moment because you're pregnant and so am I but I'm feeling freaked out about it" it would have been a million times less confusing and upsetting. She will understand xx

Yea exactly @Marvellouslymadmum. I just know Af will come soon but really wish she’d stay away. Well, in the right way. I don’t suddenly need an absence of periods after my months of light periods. Need to keep telling myself that the aim this month is just for a more normal cycle.

My DH has his booked Wednesday but I really didn’t want him to do it at the end of a working day when he’s doing shifts. I know it sounds dumb but I want to see an improvement and I don’t think being tired will help but he had booked it without checking his schedule and then couldn’t get through to change it. Oh well, what’s done is done.

Hi ladies. Mind if I join? I know I’m a bit late to this thread but anyways I’m 37 and ttc cycle #3 for a first baby and no luck yet. I have a feeling the dreaded AF is on her way in the next 24 hours. Very disheartening having to go through this every month and we’ve only just started 3 months ago... it feels like it’s gonna be a long way ahead...

@thislittlebird hopefully she'll only not show if it is for the good reason!
I'm sure it won't make any difference on his sa if he's tired though or that could be said for a lot of people.

@Twelvestars welcome, don't get disheartened I think we all have hopes at the beginning that it will happen quickly and it still very well could for you! It sort of becomes a little easier to accept af as you move on a bit but at the same time it's always disappointing when she shows up I'm afraid. I'm just coming up to 3 years ttc and still get cross every time she shows her head lol I've read lots of positive stories about people of our age and older having their bfp and successful pregnancies both quickly or after a struggle

@Marvellouslymadmum I think shift work is known not to be great for sperm (and health generally) so I was really hoping he would have done it when he was off recently (he had to self isolate and then had leave to take) so that he’d have been out of shift mode or whatever, I don’t know if that’s a thing. But then he doesn’t have to rush in on a train to do it if he’s in the city already so maybe it’s swings and roundabouts. His motility and vitality were poor so I’m hoping for improvements 😐.

@Twelvestars welcome! You’re the same age as me and it worked for all my friends our age in a few months so you might be lucky.

Thanks for the replies earlier. I feel like I need a friend at the moment and a change of scenery might do me good. It mught be hard but I'm wondering about if thinking and worrying about it is harder. Ive suggested we meet at a park in the morning for a walk. That way I'm not worrying about it all day. I've got to go to B&Q after so have a reasonable excuse to leave without risking making her feel bad. She messaged me earlier to say shes been worrying about me but feels helpless and knows that she's part of the problem. She not part of the problem but I suppose she is a reminder of where I should have been which is hard to deal with at the moment. I think I've just got to get to the acceptance point though. Thanks again all x

@marvellouslymadmum how are you doing in the tww?

Anyone else still in tww atm the moment and desperately trying to resist the urge to symptom spot?

I actually had a pregnancy tests done yesterday by the Dr for the pelvic pain I've been having. He was concerned it might be an eptopic pregnancy. I knew it wasn't but he wanted to be sure. Of course at 7dpo it was negative!

[quote sickofthisyear]@KG1145 sorry to hear that. I'm in a similar situation with a close friend who is now just a month behind where I would have been. She's not local but has been super tactful and careful not to say/do anything to upset me. She has support from other people if needed and I do what I can, but she wouldn't expect me to be meeting up with her at 7 months preg esp near due date etc.
I would definitely tell her how you feel, maybe she's forgotten it's nearly due date or maybe thinks you're feeling stronger now. Any good friend would totally understand, you can only do so much- you have to look after your own mental health. Don't worry about what she's done in the past, that was a very different situation. Hugs, it's so hard. [/quote]
Thank you for this reply. You're right, I have been feeling guilty but it was a different situation. We've had a brief chat over text today and she hadn't realised when my due date was. I'm not sure I'd actually said. I've messaged her tonight and suggested we meet in the morning but after speaking today I know she'll understand if I cancel in the morning so it take the pressure off a bit. I'm hoping I might feel better after my due date. I'm really hoping I am lucky this month as my AF is due the day after my due date so it'll be a double whammy if not. Might bulk order icecream just in case!

@climbershell I hope you're feeling better

@kitekat81 I don't temp track. Is there still hope until AF? I think it's a good approach to have a few things extra to try each month. Have you tried elsewhere for the acupuncture? I had two sessions this month with no issues

Fingers crossed for you @thislittlebird and @twelvestars 🤞🤞🤞

@thislittlebird really? I totally wouldn't have known that 🤦🏼‍♀️ hope you get some improvements on it 🤞🏻
@KG1145 your friend definitely sounds like she understands, I hope it goes well for you, I'm ok trying not to symptom spot as usual and now have to be back up and functioning early for school runs for the teenagers so that's fun 😂 I bet that didn't help doing a test at 7dpo! Did he give you any indication what he thinks it is now?

[quote KG1145]@marvellouslymadmum how are you doing in the tww?

Anyone else still in tww atm the moment and desperately trying to resist the urge to symptom spot?

I actually had a pregnancy tests done yesterday by the Dr for the pelvic pain I've been having. He was concerned it might be an eptopic pregnancy. I knew it wasn't but he wanted to be sure. Of course at 7dpo it was negative! [/quote]
Me! 😬 8DPO and totally failing not to symptom spot. Planning on FRER on Wednesday. IC obv say BFN last two days. 😁

@sickofthisyear cycle buddy! I'm 8dpo too, it's so hard not to symptom spot isn't it?!

I would like to share a little info for anyone thinking about getting a ferti-lily, I'm on a thread with other ladies with one and one lady has just got her bfp the first month using it after almost a year ttc! I've heard lots of stories like this but mainly in reviews so good to hear a real life account! I've also heard it's great for mf issues as it helps push the little guys nearer to their destination!

I’m 12dpo today I’m really proud that I’ve not googled a single symptom this cycle

Not entirely sure when AF will come because of my earlier ovulation date. Possibly any day between today and Thursday but I’ve held off that long, I can resist google a few more days yet.

Thanks @Marvellouslymadmum, fingers crossed it’s a bit better.

Wow @thislittlebird I think I've googled everything! 🤦🏼‍♀️ well done.

I think it’s helped I haven’t had many symptoms really @sickofthisyear. The tender boobs are still here, but otherwise just been a bit sniffly and sinusy but that’s not unusual for me. Haven’t had all the mad pelvic twinges, fatigue etc of previous months. How have you been?

Only thing bugging me is will b6 extend my LP (or will AF not come on time at all 😐) and I’ll be convinced I’m pregnant by Thursday, need to remember it’s a bit of a test month because it’s my first month taking it. So far so good though.

@sickofthisyear I could sleep last night, woke up this morning with an email from amazon saying thanks for your order. I had no recollection! Turns out I'd ordered 4 frer tests at 2.30 this morning!

I think I'll test Thursday or Friday. According to the website they detected a positive in 96% 4 days before their expected period. I've told myself at least this way I'll cut down the tww by 4 days.... Who am I kidding though, I'll still test every day until after AF has started 'just in case it's implantation bleed'!

Appart from the pain on my right in my pelvic (which I'm sure isn't related) I have had no symptoms although I keep telling myself it'd be too early anyway

Thanks for sharing all your knowledge on the vit B's. I've booked an appt with my GP to talk about that and other fertility concerns (in two weeks  good job I won't be going out of my mind for the next fortnight or anything...) I can ring up and hang on the phone every morning hoping to get an earlier one. How do actual poorly people go on with that?! Last thing I'd feel like doing would be to listen to an engaged tone for an hour every morning whilst writhing in pain. But I'll leave the NHS-is-on-it's-knees chat for another thread!

@KG1145 I'm sorry you've had the stressful situation with your friend's pregnancy on top of every other feeling we have to manage. I haven't told anyone we are TTC but would really
like to speak to my close friend about it - We have said in the past how lovely it would be to both be on maternity leave and experience pregnancy together. She became pregnant about a year ago, before we were ready, and I was so very very happy for her, and then she very sadly miscarried at 8 weeks. Now we're trying, I don't want to burden her with our problems, or stir up feelings she isn't ready for. As much as I would like her support, and for me to support her. If they are / aren't trying again themselves, I am not sure. I know from my own experience how emotive this time is and it must be so much more so having miscarried before.
Sending you every best wish for you and your BFP.

@KG1145 I've not had a pregnancy in nearly 12 months of temping, so I don't exactly know how my chart would behave if I was pregnant, but temp is supposed to stay elevated or increase if you're pregnant, and falls if you are not pregnant. Mine almost without fail starts to go down about 2 days before AF, which for me is 11dpo. Only a couple of cycles it's still been high at 12dpo, I've felt hopeful and done a hpt, but both times they were negative and my temp dropped the next day on the morning of AF. It's good in that I save a lot of money on pregnancy tests, I've just got my £9.99 thermometer and my premom app, and don't have to put myself through the torture of testing! But I know some people find temping stressful, so it's swings and roundabouts really.

Yeh it's so annoying about the acupuncturists. I've contacted two and both have said they can't take me at the moment because of Covid. I don't know whether it's because I'm in Scotland, maybe things are stricter here? Or maybe each practitioner has to reduce their patient numbers, and they would place me as a lower priority as a new patient? I don't know. I know that in the scheme of things there are a lot worse ways to be affected by Covid than not being able to access an acupuncturist. I feel so sorry for people who had fertility treatments cancelled or delayed, I know that would be much worse. It's just that part of me wonders if acupuncture could be the thing that makes a difference for me, and I don't exactly have all the time in the world as I'm considering ivf in the next 6 months, so it is frustrating not to have the option to at least try it.

Just catching up on the thread.
@TTCat39 and others so sorry AF came again.

I feel we will be the same again this month. Usual 8DPO painful boobs started this morning.
I also had two ovulation attempts which threw things off a little and never got a peak on my OPK although I got strong ish lines around CD15, I ovulated CD16 last month. Then again 3-4 days later they returned but paler, when I assume I actually ovulated as I got a sustained BBT increase.

We are only month 2 of TTC actively, although haven't been careful since last summer.

When I spoke to the doctor about the higher strength folic acid she's referred my partner for SA already. She said we may as we get him tested and then told me to come back later in the year if we aren't successful.

Anyone used the cheap OPK's from b&m's?
Never used any OPK's before but this month I wasn't sure if I would ovulate as I bleeding for 11 days after what I think was maybe a CP.

I can usually tell when I'm ovulating (or at least I think I can) due to EWCM and twinges, just wanted confirmation on a stick, so hubby picked these up from b&m for £2.99 for 5.

But not convinced they work, pretty sure I ovulated yesterday but according to these tests my LH has remained low, I think the line was a little darker on Saturday than it was on Friday but still classed as low.

So now I don't know if the tests are just crap or if I haven't actually ovulated 🤷🏻‍♀️

We DTD Thursday night / Saturday night / Sunday night and might do it again tonight for good luck, so if I did ovulate yesterday then hopefully we're covered.

Hey ladies! 😃

@KG1145 I'm so sorry and I completely relate! I echo what the others are saying - I'd just be honest and say how you're feeling. A good friend would completely understand! 😘

@Marvellouslymadmum @Sleeeeeepy yup, my BBT was like that too! So in a bizarre way, it's actually reassuring that our bodies are behaving in a similar crazy manner! 🤪 Onwards to a fresh cycle for me! How are you both doing now?

@Kitekat81 @thislittlebird sending you much love in these decisions! It's so incredibly frustrating as you say, you're having to potentially spend a lot of money for something that's free! 😔 Is there no way that NHS referrals can be expedited?

@Katiekattty @DorisX @Twelvestars welcome to this lovely group! 😃

@Magnum99 don't worry I never seem to have any joy with OPKs - I needed to be dehydrated and leave them for about 8 mins to see lines! I'm going to try CB as heard lots of good things!

Happy Monday to everyone! Really hoping this will be a BFP heavy thread!!! 😍😍😍

@KG1145 😂 ordering FRER in your sleep! I've got some coming today- I try not to use them too early as have had some misleading lines/indents in the past.
I'm same with worrying if Vit B having an effect on cycle. I've been v predictable for last 3 months- 28 days, OPK peak on CD14 so I will know if 'somethings up'.

This thread moves on so fast! Hope @climbershell is feeling better and sending you best wishes @KG1145. The dread of the due date approaching after MMC is sadly familiar to me.

Welcome @Twelvestars.

I’m on day 4 of blank face on CB, which has never happened before, very strange indeed. Usually start day 9/10 and have one or max 2 before flashing face arrives. Perhaps I won’t ovulate this month or it’ll be very late?! 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think I completed google when spotting symptoms last month, if I can resist even slightly this time, I’ll be pleased.

@M4v3r1ck I'm doing ok thank you, 8dpo here and wondering what length my cycle will be this time 😂

@Magnum99 the opk stickers never worked for me the only ones I've got a peak on are the clearblue advance digital ones

@KG1145 I lolled at you ordering frer in your sleep 😂