The Good Husband of TTC Drive (No1 Babies Detective Agency pt5)

[nomoremagnolia]

Especially for you
I wanna let you know what I was going through
All the time we were apart
I thought of you
You were in my heart
My love never changed
I still feel the same

Especially for you
I wanna tell you I was feeling that way too
And if dreams were wings, you know
I would have flown to you
To be where you are
No matter how far
And now that I'm next to you

No more dreaming about tomorrow
Forget the loneliness and the sorrow
I've got to say
It's all because of you

And now we're back together, together
I wanna show you my heart is oh so true
And all the love I have is
Especially for you

Especially for you
I wanna tell you, you mean all the world to me
How I'm certain that our love was meant to be
You changed my life
You showed me the way
And now that I'm next to you

I've waited long enough to find you
I wanna put all the hurt behind you
And I wanna bring out all the love inside you, oh

And now we're back together, together
I wanna show you my heart is oh so true
And all the love I have is
Especially for you

You were in my heart
My love never changed
No more dreaming about tomorrow
Forget the loneliness and the sorrow
I've got to say
It's all because of you

And now we're back together, together
I wanna show you my heart is oh so true
And all the love I have is
Especially for you

New thread especially for Ready

It's interesting that several people have mentioned that they feel it would be easier to bond if they knew the sex previously - something that never occured to me - obviously have a different mind set in those terms!

Guess were I spent yesterday evening? That's right - A&E... Took 2 paracetamols because the blood test bruise I had from last Thursday's visit started to ache during the day - within 5 mins hands were itching and got nettle rash within 10mins. The silly thing was that when I got to the A&E reception and said I had anaphalctic shock the receptionist asked the 'nurse practitioner' to see me sooner rather than later - but, after asking if I was having problems breathing (no) he said he'd see me later. I was actually having to take my shoes and socks off to scratch my feet and the receptionist was trying to chase the np again - but then when my lips started swelling up I got moved and got seen. The silly thing was that if I'd been seen when I initially went in and been given something I would not have ended up taking up a bed and time etc...

Rang the doctor this morning to see if I could get refered for testing to see exactly what it is - Doctor said just stay clear of paracetamol and use ibuprofen instead. I said, what happens if I do get pregnant and need some painkillers, take codine and it has this effect on me again - and what happens if it is also the ibuprofen - I don't want to keep on ending up at A&E every time - Doctor hmmd and said that I had a point (!) (this being the same Doctor that referred me to the recurrant mc unit) (mind you, you don't notice what ever it was that you originally took the painkiller for when the nettlerash starts kicking in!).

I have to say, I don?t think that not knowing the gender beforehand would really make that much different to bonding with the baby. Or is this something that is widely considered? I hadn?t even thought about finding out for that reason. I just assumed people found out so they could plan clothes and rooms etc.
For me, I definitely don?t want to find out ? and I am a control freak too Perhaps I am just a quirky control freak

Poppy, I am thinking about the Zita West vitamins, but Lottie mentioned on another thread (I think) to check what is in them and perhaps source them yourself, as it will work out cheaper? so I will look into that too, before I make any decisions.
Good luck with the B6 for your LP - are you temping?

MT the cheek of that consultant?s comment!! Now, ok, it is not the worst procedure in the world ? but come on!! Have some common sense. Tut.
Double shock for you ending up in A&E, and the daft way they handled you ? idiots. Hope you are feeling ok now? Can you take aspirin for pain? Or is that not good with ttc?

Hobnobs , pmsl that you sat in the car, like me, Fingers crossed for good results Ooh, if it was me ? I am glad you like LizEarle C&P ? I wouldn?t be without it ? I too have noticed it more and more in magazines, and I always feel a little aggrieved that my little secret has become so well known. But it is good for the company, so I should be happy ? they will be able to afford to make lots of new products to coo over

Gilly, hope that your appointment went well yesterday, what?s next?
How funny that we both joined MN at the same time and because of the same reason

Big wave to everyone else Must dash

Hi Ready - yes, I'm OK. Dh has taken day off - to sleep this morning to catch on what he lost last night, and to take care of ds this afternoon as I'm not feeling like it. Just have sore puffy eyes and feeling a bit cold and wiped out today.

Re clothes and room - I got curtain material very early on - blue with appliqued animals on, sort of denim blue. Lovely sunny yellow walls. Clothes - yellow/turquoise and white. No problems!

MT - the doctors sounded rubbish, if it happens again you will have to say that your lips are tingling that will move things along as they will think that you are going to stop breathing!!! Did you ever have that reaction before??? How scarey for you hope you feel better and had a good rest today.

After commenting on positiveness earlier in today Ihave just spoken to my BF who has baby. Told her about the nasty tests etc that are coming up. I'm sure she thinks I'm stressing too much over ttc, however she fell pregnant after two months and no problems. She told me it was 'normal to try for two years' I said I understood that but it is so hard when 4/5 of your close friends are PG or just had babbies and I am the only one who had mc. Ijust thought it was really sad that she didn't say 'it must be really hard for you and I wouldn't want to go through all that' etc... I was really lucky

It is a real contrast to another friend who's sister had IVF she is so considerate and after my MC she asked if I wanted to meet up however she said she'd understand if I didn't want to be around PG people (she was 6 months at the time). She is so sweet and asks how everything is going.

I wonder if they think I am making a big deal out of it. I try not to talk about it in RL with everyone as it does get boring for them, that's why MN is so good .

I feel like a bad person when I think that everyone should go through at least 6/12's ttc to understand. Am I being bad???

Poppy, don?t be so hard on yourself ? you are not making a big deal out of it, at all. My oldest friend sounds very much like your BF ? I am the same as you, I try not to talk about it too much in RL, but there are a few people that I have confided in ? and it is amazing how different people can be. I really do think that if you have never struggled to conceive, then you just won?t ever understand how someone feels when they are struggling. One of my friends, finally conceived with IUI, and she is so caring and understanding ? and yet my oldest friend conceived 2nd month, and acts like she knows it all. So I feel for you with this.
If only everyone took the same amount of time to conceive, you know, to balance it out ? wouldn?t that be wonderful.
Your friend has no idea ? and while that isn?t her fault, she has been lucky ? that?s no excuse for being so insensitive. BUT? you have to rise above it. You have enough on your plate, without a friend adding to your worries. I always think that at least I know how to treat people... give yourself a big gold star, you are far superior
I really hope that you don?t need to reschedule your HSG ? but if you do, sounds like you have got plenty to look forward to. Very ? I have never been to NY, and would love to!!

I have thought about the babies nursery, for a long time - I don't want a theme or anything, so it really wouldn't matter wether we had a boy or a girl... I want white or soft-linen on the walls - and lots of earthy colours in the accessories. I imagine it to be a restful place

We already have a nursery room in cream with a teddy bear border and brown curtains and sofabed - very much along your themes Ready The room was like that when we bought the house (over a year ago) and we didn't see any point in changing it because we though we'd be putting it to use as a nursery before too long. We keep on discussing whether to re-decorate it or not, but we never come to a final decision one way or the other. I think I'd like the nursery like that regardless of b/g so that's why I can't see the point in changing things, but then it's there reminding us all the time too.

Poppy don't feel bad - been in the same boat. When I had my mc followed by the mp - which meant 6 months off work, going in on a Friday to cope with email - 1 - 1.5hrs every 2 weeks was all I could cope with - only 1 person out of a firm of 45 asked me how I was or how I was coping (and this was a young man - I at least thought that some of my female colleagues would have said something). I then had to cope with a colleage getting pregnant and complaining about how awful she felt etc etc.

Re the nursery - ours never was a 'nursery' - and most of our house is relatively muted (with occasional 'accents, such as the coral sofa that I'm siting on at the moment) - but we wanted our baby's room to be lovely and bright. Again, no specific 'theme' in terms of matching things bought at a shop - but there is quite an animal theme going on, and the good thing is that we can gradually change certain elements so that it grows with him - and the curtains (that I made ) will be fine for quite a long time. Mind you, if we are sucessful, we might move him into the other small bedroom (which would need changing from 'pink') as that room could take one of those 'bunks' with a desk underneath which I think would be good for him in time.

Good news - he got into the school that we wanted him to get into.

Nomore, I totally understand, I would want umm and aah about what to do. On the one hand it does seem wasteful to change the décor if it is what you would have ? but on the other hand, maybe just removing the border could clinch it ? you know, the minute you take a step in another direction, life smacks you on the bum? without a complete overhaul of the room??

MT congrats for DS getting into the school you wanted

Ready & MT- thanks don't feel so bad now . I totally agree Ready, ttc time should be spread between everyone. Was speaking to a lady today who confided that she was unable to have kids and therefore decided to concentrated on her career. She was a midwife so that must have been so tough!!!

I have a house that hasn't been decorated for years so no kids rooms or anything, which is lucky as I don't think I would be good with reminders, but thats just me. I think animal theme is really cute and probably good bet if you didn't know the sex.

MT - good news about the school, is it still really difficult with things like that?? Can't believe they didn't ask how you were at work that is so mean !!!

I met up with another friend with baby today at lunchtime - I think I only know a few who aren't PG or just been. She was doing really well, came away really pleased for her but alittle sad for me. Think I need to expand my friends although I seem to be going around with younger and younger people as it seems everyone my age is at it!

So pleased it's the weekend hope you all have fun

Poppy I've made a number of new friends since having ds - but I agree, the number of non children friends was a problem (although not that good at making really good friends in the first place, I probably take after my father, although the friends I do have are really good and lasting). I think that it can be quite difficult for those with children to keep a good realtionship with those that don't have them (speaking from experience) - I make a particular effort to ensure that I keep good friends with one - we make sure that we invite her around to supper on a regular basis - and we don't expect to return to hers on the basis that it is so much easier to have her here - ds will go to sleep and that's it for the evening. Just bear it in mind if you do have any childless friends when you do become a mother - its really nice to keep them, and some of them make really good additional 'aunties'/godparents which can be really useful.

MT "some of them make really good additional 'aunties'/godparents" You've just described my worst fear - that I'll only ever be 'auntie nomore' DGodS's Mum is great in being a mum but who is still my BF too though. She lets me get involved in all sorts of 'mum' things (I've even been to tumble tots with him ) but she will also talk to me about everyday things or about ttc (she knows all about our situation) Other friends who have babies think I'm weird to be asking so many questions/show so much interest in/know so much about babies and children. I feel a bit "About a Boy" about it all.

Well, having said it was quiet on here on Thursday, it looks like I then missed a flurry of activity.

A little late to the discussion but I don't think I'd want to know the baby's sex, though that might be because that's the way it worked with family when I was growing up. We have a room which would be suitable for either sex (was used as a nursery by the people who lived here before us) although I'd have to clear out some of the furniture - am probably too lazy to re-decorate and quite like it as it is. To be honest, I'm not very good at focussing on a lot of this stuff (not much good at fantasy shopping either) until (??) I'm pregnant. Not sure if that's symptomatic of a fear of will it ever happen...? I suspect that if / once I get that magical BFP, there'll be no stopping me!

Mistlethrush Sorry to hear about your experience on Wednesday night - sounds horrendous. Hope you've had a relaxing weekend and are fully recovered.

Poppy Glad you're feeling a bit more positive. I sympathise about your experience with your friends. To be honest, I haven't really talked about TTC problems much in RL - partly because I don't want people to keep asking me about it. Might be easier if I knew what the problem was (if there is one). We have been married a while and I suspect that some people (admittedly not close friends) think that we can't or have chosen not to have children and I'm not keen to get into too much of a discussion about it. Am always delighted when friends and relations ring to tell me they're expecting but that usually gives way to a tear or two once I've put the phone down!

Nomore - don't feel like that, and I wasn't meaning you - I was thinking of one friend in particular who, even if she was married, wouldn't want children - just not ever got to the broody stage and not found the right bloke yet either. I wouldn't want our friendship to stop just because of ds. (although we didn't thank her when she gave ds a 'when you're happy and you know it) sing along book that allows you to restart whenever you press the button....)

Hobnobs - its interesting about the no decorating since you moved for nursery - ds's room was the only room that we have decorated, even though it was a room for a small boy - it was an insipid green with a border right at the top of the room - now much warmer and brighter, even though it hasn't got the border.

Its also really interesting about the shopping - the first time I was pregnant I got a jacket in Formes in the sale quite early on - it then skulked in the cupboard for another 2 years. It meant that I was really cautious about buying anything. I didn't buy anything for the baby until I was 6mo, and then only because it was the sales so cost effective. My parents came and decorated the nursery about 2wks before dc was due as I had not wanted to 'commit' to doing it when I could, then became too large to do anything about it!

i didn't get anything for Millie until the 20 week scan was OK - have slight issues in this pg that i have never had before so wanted to go-ahead iyswim? (placental lakes, bleeding inside that never came out, possible fibroid and my membranes seperated from my uterus wall at one point) All ok and resolved at scan though - fibroid small, placental lakes still there but OK and no more internal blood stuff.

Hope everyone is well? DH has bee naway since 5am saturday so feeling very lonely; he will back 11pm tomorrow.

Gilly I know what you mean - when I was pregnant and doing some sorting out, (at about 7mo) I found a pregnancy test - it was out of date. I found myself thinking that the test I'd done must have been wrong and that I couldn't be pregnant - this despite the bump, the kicking and the scans... That's why I left every thing as late as possible.

Good to see the tests etc progressing well. Hope that you get up the lists quickly!

Hi guys - I'm back at a computer .. need to catch up as you've been very busy - but just wanted to say hello!

Hi Toomuch - how's it going?

Hi MT - going ok! Still got the cramp but it seems to have stuck so far - long way to go yet though.. still just crossing everything!

How are you feeling after your hospital dash? Sounds terrible!

Good - sorry that you've still got cramp though - hope it clears up soon.

Still feeling rather washed-out - not able to do much over the weekend, and kept on zoning out on the sofa, much to dh's annoyance (he had to look after ds some of the time!)

Ok... please forgive me, but I am not going to catch up properly

I feel drained and heart-broken at the moment. I feel distinctly pre-menstrual (spotty chin, moody, crampy) and my temp dipped again - which confirms that CD1 will be tomorrow or the next. Sigh. I just cannot face another cycle of disappointment

I might not be on the thread for a little while, well, at least not in my usual perky way - I guess I am having one of those phases when I just need to shut myself away - I am sure you all understand.

So anyway... sorry for being crap, and not catching up with everyone (and for copying and pasting this all from ttc forever thread) , but I am going to go and lay on the sofa and do as little as possible for the evening.

I will be thinking of you all. Back soon, I promise

Ready

I hope that you are OK and just a little bit sad, not big sad iyswim?

Take care and look after yourself, and have some chocolate tonight.

Whoops just wrote long post and lost it rubbish!!!

Ready I totally understand how you are feeling sometimes alittle time away from mn can help forget about things, sending you a big hug

Hobnobs Good to know we all shed a few tears. I am surprisingly upbeat when talking with people only with mn am I alittle down

Mistle Thanks for giving me insight to the other side of things. Spoke to DH who thinks BF was just trying to make me feel better by trying to convince me that I have nothing wrong and is normal to ttc for this amount of time. He is probably right. Just me being pre-menstral

Gilly Glad to hear they got so much done at the clinic. If they think it is going to take a long time to see the consultant you could try and pay for a private consultation. I did this for a dermatology appointment a few years ago and bypassed a 6 month waiting list. I had all the treatment done on NHS it was worth it

Does anyone know if it is ok to have you fsh done on day 1. AF arrived today and so I had to postpone my HSG by two weeks! BOO! But since having my day 1 test I have done some web searching and it seems day 3 is the best day to have it done on. Now I'm alittle worried that my results will come back really bad and I'll have to cancel HSG again!! Does anyone know if they vary that much between day 1-3????