TTC after MC - Jan/Feb 2021 (Thread 17)

[PumpkinEverything]

A new thread for those trying to conceive after miscarriage.

Have tried to tag as many people as possible!
@Bellabubble
@Pancakes7
@TheDaydreamBelievers
@bez91
@NatJ24
@NatNoo96
@ELMcg
@RichmondLady1981
@susiebluebell
@Garman
@RS2609
@bumptobean
@bubblybrit
@PrettyPinkPansies

@PrettyPinkPansies I definitely think it's unfair that we're all here. We got pregnant and then back to square one!! I get really angry/upset quite often about it. Especially as 3 of the NCT mums from my group got pregnant after me and are all due in March and April... I was due February, so this month just sucks really. I honestly just assumed I'd be pregnant at least by my due date of the mmc! I never thought I'd buy only have mmc's but now struggle to even get pregnant.

On the tests, I prefer clear blue. I get their digital one to show how many weeks after each positive. My 2 mmc's I got positive on the cheap strips when I was due/late. With my son I used a Boots own early test. So whatever you use, if you're pregnant it'll show it I think.

@PrettyPinkPansies My sister had no line whatsoever before 14 DPO, and she even tried the early detection ones. I honestly think they just waste of money, as HCG can not be detected until the LH rises, sometimes days after the implantation. And if it does, the cheap ones will show it too. Give the ovulation test a go, I might do that too!
Same happened to me, only got a faint line 2 days before the missed period. I was also questioning if that was an early sign that mc could happen...We might just have a late implantation!
Thank you, it does makes me feel better, when I hear stories about healthy pregnancies with bleeding :) I think I am just so traumatised after the mc bleeding, if I see even a little bit now, I think of the worst... If it doesn`t get stronger buy tomorrow, I will test in the morning.

@PrettyPinkPansies and others, been reading your messages and so sorry you all feel this way! I totally appreciate everyone is different and has had varying experiences so no judgement from me at all on when you choose to test as I know for some the wait is agonising!

When I first fell pregnant which resulted in miscarriage I wasn't expecting to, I started to feel some symptoms of pregnancy before AF was due so wasn't surprised when it was late. I didn't test until AF was 2 days late which would have been 15 or 16 DPO for me. IT WAS VERY UNCLEAR!! so I assumed I wasn't pregnant. AF still didn't arrive so tested around 18DPO and it was a strong positive and when I got my bloods done my HCG was through the roof according to the nurse.

This experience has made me adamant I won't be testing unless no AF as I now feel I could torture myself, but also if you do want to test early that's totally fine but maybe you won't get a positive until later on either. You can also ovulate up to 48 hours after your peak in some cases so you could be less DPO than you think!

@TheDaydreamBelievers oh well, I just feel like I'm wasting so much money on PG tests but I can't stop. Thank you x

@Pancakes7 I can completely sympathise with you there. I'm in a group from my sons birth and every time I see someone post a pregnancy announcement it makes me so sad and mad. That should of been me still. I've also got some boot early so I'll maybe try one of them on Sunday.

@Tina8800 that gives me some hope, that's four days more than I am right now. I really hope that's the case for me too. Let me know how you get on in the morning lovely.

@ELMcg thank you, that fills me with hope too. I know it's possible because it's what happened with me last time, but I've also read the later the implantation the higher the risk of MC. I'm wondering if that's what happened last time.
I think if I'm out this month (which I suspect) I'll not test as early next month. As you say it's agonising though when you want it so much

Sorry to hear you are feeling this way @PrettyPinkPansies. Only natural seeing as you would have been due this month. Like others have said, it is really hard to resist early testing. I found it caused myself no end of stress, especially the 2nd time, and it didn't change the outcome in the end. Next time I have told myself I will just to wait for AF, easier said than done though.

@Catmum55566 ah I wasn't due this month, I was due in august. It still is unfair though and getting me upset. Not testing early is easier said thank done. I'm praying fir a miracle now xx

Aw @PrettyPinkPansies it really isn't fair, we get pregnant, then mc, long for that bfp & stress ourselves about lines & every symptom under the sun, it's just not fair! I cant help much with lines, look at me, with my last preg I didn't test until cd26 but had bleeding start cd40 & mc cd42, this time I had what I think had to be implantation bleed at cd26 & tested cd29 with very very faint so I would say just try & hang in there!

How do you stop yourself obsessing about every wee symptom & twinge? I'm cd 35 today, tested yesterday evening on the old ic that were giving the faints & it def was darker but I feel cramps today, keep running to loo expecting bleed, going up the walls, just want this one so much bc I know this is it for me

Ah sorry @PrettyPinkPansies I mis-read. I would have been due Aug too. A family member has just announced she is due August as well which brings it all home.

Fingers crossed for you @gizmo167 x

@ELMcg I had the same experience, I had pregnancy symptoms and late AF before I tested, so I knew something was going on.

I also talked to a privet doctor after my mc, and she told me not to test until a week of missed period! The lining of your uterus can be weak for months after mc, so you can have an early implantation and a positive test, but your lining might not be strong enough to hold it. I can`t even imagine worst than seeing a positive test and a week later AF arrives. That is why they say to wait 3 months after mc, as there is a bigger chance of chemical pregnancy.
I really wish I was pregnant and not even know for 20 weeks...But I have a very regular period, so it will be extremely hard not to test if it doesn't arrive in time..

@PrettyPinkPansies I'm on a Facebook group from my sons birth. I actually rarely go on it now. As I find the announcements too upsetting. I muted the group.

@gizmo167 how many DPO were you when you got your positive? X

@Catmum55566 fingers crossed we both get some positive news this cycle. Would be nice considering we were both due august. X

@Pancakes7 I'm glad I'm not the only one. I don't think people stop to think about how posting things like that on public pages (where you're not expecting it) can make others feel. It's really sad. Every time I see one I cry to my husband x

Hi ladies, can anyone recommend good cheapie opks? Iv bought the wrong cb ones, they are to use with the cb monitor but I only have the purple opk test stick. Silly me. Just think I will get some cheapies from amazon for next week instead, any recommendations? Thanks!

@Catmum55566 it's me that was due this month. I think you got us muddled up. X

@Loll35 I have been using EasyHome for 3 months. Really good and it comes with a free app too.

@PrettyPinkPansies I think especially if someone's not experienced a loss, they don't think about it. I know I tried to post less about my successful pregnancy after my loss. I think I may not put anything up at all next time. I try and limit my social media to avoid seeing any announcements. Fingers crossed this is our month 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🌈

Thanks @PrettyPinkPansies

@Pancakes7 yes sorry got muddled. How many dpo are you? Sorry if you already said put couldn't see on the previous page. Sending positive vibes your way and fingers crossed for this TWW!

I am hoping I ovulate but at the same time thinking AF probably just needs to come so I can have a fresh cycle. 2 back to back early MCs means I haven't had a proper period since Nov

I've tweaked a few of the FRER photos (because I'm an absolute lunatic) and I think it shows the thing that was catching my eye earlier.

@Catmum55566 No worries. I'm only 4DPO I think. So I need to wait about a week then I think I'll do an early test. I have a box of cheap early tests ready lol.

2 mc's back to back is hard. It'll be good to have an AF to get your body back to normal. But fingers crossed you do ovulate.

@Pancakes7 I massively echo this. People that haven’t been through it, are unable to understand. People can be so unsympathetic and not very considerate and just don’t think! Even people that know my full story tell me all about their pregnancy’s, pictures, the lot and tell me how difficult it is.

@PrettyPinkPansies bless you, I totally understand. I cry when I see another announcement, especially if it’s friend or family that are close to me. I had my best friend have her 12 week scan this week and my sister in law had a baby. It is really hard

Xx

@Strawberry08 OMG really? That's awful. How inconsiderate. One of the NCT mums who I'm not close with announced her pregnancy in our group chat knowing about me. I think she should have given me a heads up about it at least. My close friend is from my NCT too but she told me privately and kept it quiet for ages and didn't talk to me about it at all unless I ask something. She hasn't shown me any scans either. She hasn't been through it herself but somehow she's really good at considering my feelings.

@PrettyPinkPansies I can see it in your tweaked pics! It’s v faint but i could see something. I messaged you about it earlier because I did spot it very faintly in your normal pics

@Pancakes7 she sounds like a friend to keep!

@Strawberry08 oh sorry I must of missed where you said you spotted it!! The FRER I did yesterday was completely blank but there was just something about this one that made me keep looking at it. Probs wishfull thinking!!

@PrettyPinkPansies I popped it in a private message which you may have missed!
But yes when the FRERs are negative there is no doubt about it and you can’t usually see a hint of anything but I can sort or see what you mean. Doesn’t mean it will be a BFP but at least you’re still in it this month as you’re still early! 🤞