TTC after MC - Jan/Feb 2021 (Thread 17)

[PumpkinEverything]

A new thread for those trying to conceive after miscarriage.

Have tried to tag as many people as possible!
@Bellabubble
@Pancakes7
@TheDaydreamBelievers
@bez91
@NatJ24
@NatNoo96
@ELMcg
@RichmondLady1981
@susiebluebell
@Garman
@RS2609
@bumptobean
@bubblybrit
@PrettyPinkPansies

@SLCxxx I am using CB yes. I am testing twice a day now since I got a flashing smiley, both morning and evening. I think I will have a few days of flashing before my peak as I hear that's not uncommon and per my tracker I should ovulate this weekend (totally aware this can vary post MC but my cycle before MC was 28 days clockwork and AF came 4 weeks after the bleeding stopped). So hoping I will catch it!

Totally new to tracking though so happy for any tips! I have noticed a change in CM so think it's happening soon anyway!

Thanks ladies. I'm going out today to see if I can track down some FRERS. Think I'll do one tomorrow and save my digi for a while longer x

@ELMcg I’m new to tracking too!

I read the same, some ppl have flashing smileys for 10 days before getting a solid. Mine flashed for my first morning pee, then got the solid that evening (was surprisingly hard to not drink or pee for 4 hours during the day lol). Then the monitor stays a solid smiley for 48 hours. I still dipped the CB ovulation tests the last 2 mornings (couldn’t use monitor as was stuck with the smiley) and I can see by the lines that after my flashing and smiley my LH levels decreased from the very next day. Today I tested again to make sure it happened and got a big fat O so I would have missed my peak if I didn’t test that evening, I must have a small window 🤷🏼‍♀️. Fingers and toes crossed you get your solid smiley very soon and then join the TWW with us 😊

Thank you @mrswilso just found them on Amazon 2 for £7 and will be here by tomo 🙈 then have to just stare at them for another 6-7 days lol

@Elakiya, I am sorry for your loss.
Don't think like that... I have friends that are overweight and have lovely babies! It has nothing to do with it. Our time will come!

Try not to go down that road.

@SLCxxx I am always having ovulation pains. Sometimes very bad that i have to take an anti-inflammatory. My dr said i shouldn't worry.

Hi @Elakiya, I'm so sorry for your loss.

There is a little research suggesting we might be more fertile in the first 3 months or so after a miscarriage but it isn't very strong so I wouldn't worry about it too much (it's most important to feel mentally okay about it, I think).

One of my close friends has PCOS and I just want to say please don't blame yourself at all. Also PCOS notoriously makes women put on weight and makes it very very hard to lose weight (so while all the advice is to lose weight as it helps PCOS it is quite harsh advice because it's so hard to do).

I have endometriosis which comes with an increased risk of miscarriage so I sometimes edge towards blaming myself but if it helps I try and tell myself that (a) I can't help having this condition and (b) I can't possibly know the reason for the MMC but the vast majority are due to chromosomal abnormalities, so the pregnancy was never going to end differently and (c) if I have another child that child wouldn't exist if not for my miscarriage, and at that point I know I wouldn't want it any other way. I often think about how my father was only born because my grandmother had a late miscarriage before she got pregnant with him. I know that might be an odd way to think about it and it might not work for others but it helps me

@SLCxxx @Strawberry08 @NatJ24 @Tina8800 @oannic @vitaminb33

Thank you so much for all your lovely comments.

@vitaminb33 Thank you, it’s lovely that there are people who understand how hard it is with PCOS to lose weight. I will give myself 3 months to mentally overcome this and hopefully if I can lose another 5/6kg in that time it should go a long way.

@gizmo167 I think that's definitely a stronger positive on your test, it can take a while to increase too!

@bubblybrit I'd try and speak to your oh in a calm way once you've given him a day or two and just say that actually a lot if people find having two children just as easy as having one, myself included! There's only 15 months between my now teenage children but when they were little it meant they were both in nappies at the same time etc and I found that made it easier than going through it all twice, plus the second one picks things up quicker and they occupy each other a lot if the time too so you don't always have to be there to entertain them! And they're definitely less lonely. My son was diagnosed with severe brittle asthma when he was 7 months old so was in and out if hospital all the time and very poorly, took constant watching, I actually fell pregnant with my daughter at the same time as this and had no issues being pregnant and looking after him. He is also autistic and has adhd but I didn't know any of that until he was a lot older and it made no difference to bringing them up together🤞🏻 he will come round for you

@PumpkinEverything. Yes I am hoping that you are right. Can barely look at him right now as feel completely betrayed and so so angry.

That’s exactly it @bez91. We both agreed that I’d come off the pill and see what happened before actively trying in 2021. I fell pregnant straightway which took us by surprise but for me it was a happy surprise. Not sure if DH ever felt the same way by the way he is backtracking now.

@PrettyPinkPansies. I have always been honest about wanting two kids from when our relationship started to get serious. He had no objection then but now saying that he always said ‘we see how we get on with one’. It’s a total lie and another reason why I am so angry with him.

@elsimo. I’m really not sure we can. If his feelings are genuine then we fundamentally want different things and I’m not sure I can compromise on this one.

@gizmo167 and @oannic. I hope you are both right and he is just having a wobble. Will give him some time but I can’t wait forever as I’m almost 37.

Will probably duck out of the group for a little bit as can’t contribute much at the moment. Thank you for all your support and I wish you well on your journey.

Take care x

Thank you @Marvellouslymadmum. I do hope that you are right. I am an only child and have never wanted it for my DD x

@Elakiya I have pcos too hun, took me 3 years to conceive my dd & only got pregnant after ovarian drilling, I dont have weight issues but irregular periods, skin problems etc! Dont be disheartened lovely x

@bubblybrit I am one of 5 and it was the best thing ever! My two brothers both had one child and they were very lonely until the others came along and my older sister has 4 younger sister has 3 and they're all under 5 😂 but she absolutely loves it.

Thank you all for the positive comments too, it's going to be a stressful couple of weeks, I'll probably test again at weekend & see how it all looks before I book with dr, I had the mc at cd42 last time so really hoping this one sticks, it really is my last chance!

@gizmo167 try to stay positive, not worry (easier said than done) and don't think of it as your last chance that may not help the stress x

@gizmo167 gosh it must be a truly stressful time for you but, just remember, everything so far looks great and nothing to suggest otherwise so keep yourself busy and take each day as it comes x

Good luck @gizmo167 are you testing again or not? X

@PrettyPinkPansies I'm CD17 now! Hopefully we've done enough that there'll be some still around again I finally get peak! lol. Will definitely try a quickie tonight though! 🤞🏻🙈😂

Tbh I can't see a line but I'm not good with lines especially by a photo. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it's a BFP for you. Get some cheapies if you want to test each day, save the pennies! lol. I've bought a big box ready lol

First vue cheapies from poundland

@Pancakes7 good on you! And good luck 😊 gotta love a quickie, haha

Thank you @oannic

@Pancakes7 I think I'm going to do a FRER tomorrow. How long into the TWW are you going to continue DTD for?

@gizmo167 that's deffo positive! Do you feel more relaxed now?

That’s definitely a positive @gizmo167😊 maybe that other brand is just a bit dodgy?

@gizmo167 excellent positive! So pleased for you

@PrettyPinkPansies I'm not sure tbh. But at least till after my peak. I hope it's not bad I'm ovulating so late. It's got later each month since I started tracking it. 12/13 then 15/16 now in on CD 17 still waiting.

@PrettyPinkPansies good idea with the frer 🤞🏻

@Pancakes7 are your cycles getting longer too? X

@PrettyPinkPansies Yeah 25 days, then 27 days.