Confused and embarrassed

[glutenfreelife]

Hi all!

I am feeling a little confused, embarrassed and I don't really know where else to talk to!

I am currently 3 weeks late, my normal cycle is 33 days and normally I'm two days late max! I have had cramps like my period is gonna come, back ache and a bit nauseous.

We got all excited as been trying for about a year.
I did a pregnancy test 2 Days after my period was due and it was negative and I've done a few since all negative.
I decided to speak to the doctors. I phoned for an appointment and and a doctor rang me back within a few hours. I explained everything to her and she laughed and said if your trying then you are obviously pregnant just keep testing!
I was quite taken a back and I understand the pressures they are under at the moment and she said I wouldn't be able to go to surgery as it just isn't the safest thing to do. I was quite shocked but I'm also feeling very low and I don't want to keep testing and face negative after negative.
There is no explanation for why my period is late and we did get quite excited but now we are both feeling very deflated
Has anyone had any experience of a pregnancy not showing on a pregnancy test by now?
Or reasons why i might be late?

Thanks for reading!

I also feel really silly for phoning like I should of known that it wasn't the right time to ask them
Trying for our first so I am new to all this!

If you are 3 weeks late you should be able to see something on a scan, I'd pay for a private scan to get an answer.

Good luck.

@Skybooks

If you are 3 weeks late you should be able to see something on a scan, I'd pay for a private scan to get an answer.

Good luck.

I was just going to say this too. You would be about 7 weeks pregnant now if your period was due 3 weeks ago, so should be able to see something on a scan.

Don't be embarrassed. I'd be exactly the same as you. Maybe you could ask for another doctor and ask for a blood test to check HCG levels. But if you can afford it I'd go straight for a private scan. They are about £70 depending on where you are. Wishing you loads of luck.

The only thing I have to add is that I was never late until I was ttc. Although 3 weeks is a lot. Could possibly have skipped a period? It would be unusual for it not to show on a test but not unheard of.

Hmm. I've heard of people not getting a positive test until several weeks in, maybe even 12 weeks in. I'm surprised the doctor said you're pregnant though. I wouldn't expect them to say that unless it's confirmed by a test.

Have you tried different methods, I. E. Weeing on the stick and also dipping it? And always the first wee of the day (or whatever the packet says)

Could be PCOS, my period would be late when I was trying and I would think I could be pregnant, but it was PCOS.
Perhaps have your hormone levels checked via blood test

Have you used a clear blue? Sometimes it's down to the test - I found this out 😂

said if your trying then you are obviously pregnant just keep testing!

Are you sure the GP said this?

How can you be 'obviously' pregnant if you've got negative tests?!

If you are 3 weeks late & getting a negative test, you are more than likely not pregnant, sorry.

Where I am, you could not have a scan, if you hadn't tested positive! A private scan equally would be nonsensical in this situation.

Sometimes cycles are longer than usual. There can be a few reasons for this, or just a one-off.

I hope you get a positive test soon.

I've heard of people not getting a positive test until several weeks in, maybe even 12 weeks in.

I've never heard this & can't imagine how this would be the case in a healthy pregnancy. Unless they didn't test at all until 12 weeks.

If you're really worried go for a private scan.

But you may not have even ovulated yet and your cycle has extended, so keep having regular sex as you could still get pregnant this cycle.

Occasionally women have anovulatory cycles where your body dosnt release an egg, sometimes they last 50-60 days. There's no opportunity to get pregnant that cycle and you would have a lighter period. This happens more as we get older.

Do you chart your fertility signs CM/Temps?

If you're really worried go for a private scan.

I'm sorry, but this is really daft advice.

OP has NO indication that she's pregnant. She's had negative tests. She's just late with a period, which can happen.

You shouldn't use a private scan service to check if there's a pregnancy, even you've had a negative test result! 1. It's a waste of time - you're not pg. 2. It's not a medical procedure, so won't help if there are any other issues.

FWIW when I was first trying to get pregnant, a long time back now, I was having really long cycles, 50 - 60 days, and sure I was pg. I wasn't. I did get pg & had a MMC, a while later I found out I'd hypothyroidism, which explained both situations. I subsequently conceived & had healthy pregnancies.

It's silly to suggest OP might be pregnant when tests say she's not.

@EarringsandLipstick

said if your trying then you are obviously pregnant just keep testing!

Are you sure the GP said this?

How can you be 'obviously' pregnant if you've got negative tests?!

If you are 3 weeks late & getting a negative test, you are more than likely not pregnant, sorry.

Where I am, you could not have a scan, if you hadn't tested positive! A private scan equally would be nonsensical in this situation.

Sometimes cycles are longer than usual. There can be a few reasons for this, or just a one-off.

I hope you get a positive test soon.

Yea she was quite abrupt and kinda said we wouldn't start throwing tests around 1 missed period to investigate if there is anything wrong. But she said just keep testing until you get an answer or a period.

It left me feeling very deflated.
I'm just confused and my cycles are very regular normally.

@EarringsandLipstick

If you read the rest of my post you would have saw I suggested she may not be pregnant for two reasons.

She's clearly worried about it and sometimes you don't have to jump down people's necks and tell people in a harsh way!

MN drives me insane sometimes, you wouldn't speak to your friend like that in real life.

Private scans are paid for, and they are not for medical reasons. They are there for reassurance, wether that be a small bleed or to see the baby more often. So yes in this case I think if OP is really worried about it and it would assure her. She can spend HER money on whatever she likes.

My friend didn't get a positive pregnancy test but now has a 3 month old baby girl! She went to the gp for blood tests when she missed her second period and despite all the (many, many!) negative home pregnancy tests, the blood test followed by a swift scan proved she was very much pregnant!

I should have said... of course I am sure my friend's circumstances are extremely rare. But it is possible. I hope a similar miracle happens for you too OP.

But she said just keep testing until you get an answer or a period.

Well, that makes more sense - and is the correct advice? I mean, what else cab you do?

I'm sorry you felt she was abrupt, but it's not really something to ring the doctor about, to be fair.

It will resolve & you can try again next cycle. Even people with regular cycles can have one skipped cycle in a year.

sometimes you don't have to jump down people's necks and tell people in a harsh way!

I agree. And I didn't do this. I gave practical advice.

Private scans are paid for, and they are not for medical reasons.

Exactly what I said. She doesn't need reassurance around a non-existent pregnancy.

I don't think you have anything to be embarrassed about.

Have you tried different tests or the same ones?

I have a friend who kept getting negative tests but was convinced she was pregnant it took a while to convince the dr to do a blood test but she was right although I don't think this happens often.

I wish you the best of luck if I was you I'd want to know either way. I don't think the private scan advice is necessarily bad advice as long as your honest with them about your reasons for being there.

I've been in a similar situation where my cycles were often 33 days, sometimes 35, and my period had not arrived by cycle day 48 or so. Took a pregnancy test which turned out to be negative which crushed me as I had convinced myself I had to be pregnant. Called my gp as I still believed I was pregnant but they assured me it was normal for periods to be late now and then, and was no cause of concern, if my period had not come within a few weeks they would investigate further. Period came 6 days later about cycle day 54 which annoyed me but at least I could try again next month.

If you haven't got a positive test by now I think wait another week or 2, and if still no period, and you test negative again, contact your Doctor. Occasionally people don't get a positive test until a lot later on, but this less common. Best of luck xx

I'm In the same situation currently cd52 and 23 days late, I called my doc on Monday as I've had bfn and she's sending me for bloods next week.

There are actually lots of cases where people don't get positive tests until 6-12 weeks pregnant as well as some people that just never get a positive test. If I were you I'd teat once a week then if still no luck and you miss your second af contact the docs again abs ask for blood tests as you're worried about what's going on.

I've got to wait a week after my blood test for the results so by then I'll be 5 weeks late which means two missed af so hopefully I'll get some answers!

You might just have had an anovulatory cycle - they're really not that unusual. If this is the case you might not get AF until the 50-60 day mark. It's not actually a real period as such, but the bleeding comes because the uterus lining becomes unstable and 'sheds' it.

I've never heard of people getting constant negative tests but being pregnant but it appears it does happen. I can see it being more the case for those who test quite late though, around the 7 or 8-week stage. Not for you if you've been testing since just after AF was due.

As you've been trying - when did you ovulate? And when did you DTD in relation to ovulating? Have you been taking your BBT?

@CardioQueen apparently if you get an anovulatory cycle you most often still get a slight bleed around the time of af according to all the articles I've read. And according to my tracking I ovulated around 21st December and dtd all over that stage, so was a bit later than normal but only by 4 days. There's loads and loads of people on a few older threads on here that have had negative on tests from their missed af up to the time they get their bfp, some have been 6 weeks 7 weeks 8 weeks etc right up to week 20 plus people that never get a positive at all on an hcg. So it does happen but I don't think it'll happen to me, I'm not that lucky!

I tested a week after af was due and again last week so I know I'm most likely not pg but the doc said that's the most likely reason for no af so is doing the bloods! 🤷🏼‍♀️

Op. I missed two periods when I was trying for my daughter, they were going to put me on infertility drugs to kick start them when I did fall pregnant. It was called secondary amenhhorea. I never found out why it occured but I was still ovulating, obviously. They just stopped. And I’d always been regular as clockwork.

I was quite taken a back and I understand the pressures they are under at the moment and she said I wouldn't be able to go to surgery as it just isn't the safest thing to do. I was quite shocked

Why? The GP can't do anything for you. She's right, you need to just wait until you get a positive or a period. Why are you looking for any medical intervention at this point, when none is required?

Awww OP bless you, you got overexcited and asked a not so clever question to your GP, so she mocked you a little bit!
Just wait for a week or so then do another test, hope it will read positive!
And be patient :)