Yogurt pot yuppies, sexy basters and UFO discs - part 3

[eloiseislost]

Starting yet another thread on self insemination before our second one locks down!

Welcome to THE most supportive group you could wish for if you’re starting or you are already on a self insemination journey.
Remember, nothing is TMI and you are not alone. 💖

Calling the usual suspects, in no particular order (and sorry if I missed anyone 😊):
@ComebackQueen
@Makingnumber2
@Janefx40
@AdriannaP
@MrsKin90
@primrosechill
@bigsweetpotato
@Sydney1986x
@Bluey18
@Birchybirch
@Lori23TTC
@Cathie102
@Labrat3
@DinkBoo
@Oilyoilyoilgob

Let it rain BFPs!!! 🐣

@Oilyoilyoilgob, I wish I could give you a big hug. You are not bringing the thread down, don't ever think that. It isn't fair. I know every woman on this thread would make a fantastic mum. I know many of us have been trying a long, long time. Like you, I feel so resistant to going down the fertility treatment path because I feel why should I have to? I should be able to fall naturally. But I'm starting to come round and maybe in a few months you will be very glad you started that process now.

@Makingnumber2 thinking of you today xx

Thanks ladies, god I’m crying again I’ve literally not stopped today and the last couple of weeks.

I am really sorry because I know people are going through potential losses. I’m very sorry to write a moaning post 😞
@Makingnumber2 thank you and I’d love a hug, I’ll give you a virtual one too. I hope you are ok 💚

@Bluey18 thank you and yes that’s how I feel ‘why should I have to’ which is why i feel so petulant and unreasonable even thinking it. I guess I’m scared of the mental and physical repercussions (my cousin has a few rounds and it didn’t work, she had one ectopic pregnancy on her last round) it just feels like it’s then very final for that step.

It doesn’t help that in my head I in no way feel 39, but my body obviously does ☹️ I do wish now I’d have started sooner. I was horrible to my husband this morning blaming our house (we had huge, extensive renovation which looking back we shouldn’t have lived in, so I didn’t want to be pregnant among that utter chaos) then other things like us both having new businesses but now I’m just absolutely kicking myself for not thinking ‘no time is the perfect time’ and just at least trying. I very rarely feel jealousy but the jealousy I felt today was at 100% seeing baby bumps and pram pushing.

Sorry for being gloomy and moaning. I’m just utterly tired and fed up of it. Got a telephone consultation with GP for a call together so we can chat about options for the middle of this month. That’ll give us this month to do an SI cycle.

Ah @oilyoilyoilgob so sorry to read that. Absolutely cry, get mad, and do whatever you need to to get through af rearing her ugly head!

Having a plan to discuss options with your GP definitely sounds wise. It's absolutely not fair that you might have to go down the treatment route, bit hopefully if you do, it's short and successful. I'm also sending you a big virtual hug! X

Congrats @comebackqueen your post about your dad in your dream made me cry! my gran always shows up in my dreams when I need her or a white feather appears. That’s so amazing and I’m so happy for you.

Thinking of you today @makingnumber2 good luck lovely!

@oilyoiloilgob Dont you dare apologise, you say how you feel and what is going on.. we are all here for you. TTC and especially our methods is a lonely and isolating place, keep sharing. I am so so sorry it seems like AF showed her ugly face. Your symptoms sounded so promising and I hate the way our bodies trick us so much, it’s so cruel! I wish I could give you a big hug and a massive glass of vino.

Your post resonates with me so much because sometimes I think why didn’t I start sooner, ‘why me’ etc but there is no wrong or right answer or no wrong or right way to feel about this. I feel angry and bitter I have to go through further testing when everyone around me in life seems to fall pregnant easily.

Get the ball rolling with the GP apt, it could be a positive and validating experience. Sending so much love x

On another note there’s loads of people we haven’t heard from @primeosechill hope you’re ok? @Bizawit how are you? @Remembermee @MrsKin90 ? And everyone else... hope you are all ok!!

As for me... I am on CD14 no sign of ovulation. SI last night and will daily until Ovulation and thereafter. Used the conceive plus lube instead of pre- seed what are peoples views on conceive plus? I’ve read good things online. I’ve tried to persevere with the Ferti-lily again, I popped in after sterilising and seemed softer and easier to put in.

Hubby to be is better, we finally have our postponement date sorted for July which is a huge relief. Lots to sort again with suppliers.

I received another letter from the fertility clinic and consultant, a letter to the GP copying me in... it asked for my BMI and my chlamydia results. Well I’ve lost weight since the last time I was weighed there so hoping they won’t change their mind based on my old BMI. As for the chlamydia test that was an absolute embarrassment, last May I sent about 93739 urine samples and swabs, each time the receptionist told me it was wrong or lost so I gave up. I’ve ordered a private one from Lloyds pharmacy and hopefully that will suffice as cannot deal with the faff and humiliation again. I hope to laugh and make light of all this one day but honestly, it’s such a stressful and sad process this journey.

Xx

Sorry, I love an essay

Hello, My first post here.
I’m 40 and TTC #2.
I’ve had two positives in two consecutive cycles since starting self insemination. So 100% conception success rate so far.
Unfortunately, the first was a chemical pregnancy, and the second a miscarriage at 8 weeks (only measuring 6.5 and heartbeat gone). I’m just getting over the second miscarriage now :( .
The self insemination works much better for me as I suffer from vaginismus plus hard to get in the mood with a 15 month old waking up at the slightest noise. But I’m wondering if we damaged the sperm and that caused the 2 losses. Anyone know?
We use syringe and I’ve not used the soft disc method.

What I mean is, anyone know if sperm can get damaged.... I guess I’m asking an unanswerable question, plus my eggs are obviously not what they used to be.

@Sydney1986x thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I really appreciate it and found myself nodding and crying through it.
My symptoms were all there, I didn’t even have my normal pmt anger and extreme hunger. Just feels like such a shitty trick.

The phone appt is the 19th so by then we’ll be doing SI for this month but like you I feel upset and angry it may come to this. Especially as I so naively thought I’d be pregnant by now.

When the first lockdown started and I had to shut my business I said to my husband ‘I’ll hopefully be pregnant this year so it won’t be as worrisome if I need to have less clients’ now we are talking about ivf which weirdly just feels a shock and a path I didn’t think I’d ever even need to think about.
I don’t want hormones or injections or procedures, I just want to get pregnant naturally without having to go through that to get there. Like I said I’m venting and I’m so sorry to everyone to drag the thread down but this journey and conception in general is much harder than I could’ve ever imagined at the start.

I’m really sorry to read about the faff with the chlamydia tests, hopefully this one will be sorted quickly! That’s fantastic on your weight loss, well done.
I’m so happy to read your husband is better and you've got your new wedding day sorted-what a bloody productive few days you’re having! Wishing you all my very best wishes for you ovulation and SI.

Totally agree on the ladies you’ve tagged, thinking of you all and was it Mrs Kins bloods today? Hope everyone who has been away from the thread is ok xx

P.s I love an essay too, several of them 😳

@birdbybird

What I mean is, anyone know if sperm can get damaged.... I guess I’m asking an unanswerable question, plus my eggs are obviously not what they used to be.

Hi. I don't know but I have also conceived twice using self insemination and I would imagine that whilst some sperm get damaged by the method, it takes a healthy, strong sperm to make it to the Fallopian tube and be first to fertilise the egg and I wouldn't have thought a damaged sperm would have the best chance of doing that. Lots of early pregnancies sadly end in miscarriage, which does increase as we get older. I'm over 40 too.

Fingers crossed we both get BFPs that stick soon.

Hi @bitheby thanks for replying.
As for BFPs that stick...amen to that!
I still have light bleeding from the miscarriage.... I’m telling myself (after two consecutive early losses) to take a break this cycle. The other part of me is impatient. I haven’t yet gone for a scan yet to make sure everything is out!
I hope you have an easier time with your donor in the upcoming cycle.

@Oilyoiloilgob bless you, I do hope things start to get easier for you soon, you’ve had such a rough time recently from what I’ve read on here. Good luck with the phone apt and keep us updated, sometimes when investigations start there’s a subconscious release of pressure and people do fall pregnant ‘naturally’ as they know they are feeling heard by medical staff/ health professionals. I think it’s ok and valid for us both to feel angry and I can’t wait for the day we will all be able to announce our BFP’s on here 😍

You’re not dragging the thread down at all, we have all felt like you and there could be someone lurking on this thread who hasn’t quite got the courage to post yet but feels everything you are saying and it’s a comfort.

Thank you and best of luck to you too for this months SI. For now; look after yourself, have a glass of your fave drink and comfort yourself. You deserve it, fellow essay writer 🤣

Hi @birdbybird welcome 😊! I echo what PP has said re some might get damaged in the process.. I hear waiting for the sperm to liquify helps and less damaged caused when using the syringe and obviously pressing gently to release the sperm from the syringe too.

A few have been successful using the soft cups and the sperm being deposited straight into the cup and then put inside - this seems a less problematic way too but I suppose it’s down to personal preference and as we know it only takes one ✨!

I am sorry to hear you have had a chemical pregnancy and a miscarriage, I had no idea how often this occurs in early pregnancy since reading this thread. I hope you’re ok. I have heard too that trying right after an MC apparently increases chances but again it’s personal choice and listen to your body. xx

I met my donor yesterday and Sunday so am in the dreaded TWW. It's such an emotional rollercoaster of hope and despair but it's good to be back in the hope phase. NHS fertility phone appointment tomorrow so I'll see what they say and if they offer any advice.

Good luck with your appointments ladies ❤️

Such amazing news to hear of the babies cooking away in the ladies who have commented ❤️ wishing you all a happy a safe pregnancy x

Update for me......so last period I ended up testing for ovulation on my usual days, usually cs6 as I have such a short cycle ( betweeen 25/27 days)
I got the static smiley last month at 9dpo !! Straight from nothing to static smiley ! No flashing at all, so hubby and I only managed 1 SI in feb !

So due to me apparently ovulating about cd10I'm sitting at 14dpo today and negative tests but my AF isn't due for a few days yet, this has been the longest I've ever had to wait !

I'm actually feeling quite crappy though, joint pain, some little hot flushes, insomnia from hell last night, sore boobs at the sides.......🤷‍♀️

Great news about your DH feeling better and you being able to move the wedding date to July @Sydney1986x! Really pleased for you and hope the rearranging of things with suppliers isn't too stressful or arduous!

How are you doing today @Oilyoilyoilgob? Thinking of you x

Welcome @birdbybird! Hope this thread can be of use and support to you in your TTC quest for number 2

Sending baby dust your way @Carol1980 and hope AF doesn't show!

I went to my midwife appointment yesterday- she was very very lovely and booked me in, but didn't seem keen to refer me direct to EPU because I've had no cramping or bleeding- so that was a bit of a pain. She said go back for the private re-scan Thursday and then contact her Friday as to whether things are looking good or not. She said if they aren't I will have to ring and refer myself to the EPU. 32 hours to go until the scan and I have been up since 4.30am and now don't know know I'm going to get through work today! I kept having horrible repetitive dreams all night of going for the scan and it was horrible news and then had to let work know and kept re-drafting and re-drafting this email to people at work. Will keep you guys posted. On the scan that is not my boring stress dreams

Hi Ladies. I missed you all!

@eloiseislost congratulations. Was so pleased to see your news

Congrats to everyone else who has a BFP

It's been about 6 weeks since I last posted. I came off Mumsnet because we'd had some devastating results about DPs sperm which basically said we were infertile. Anyway turns out those tests were wrong!! It's a long story and I won't bore you but bottom line is, his sperm are fine! So 2-3 months of stress for nothing.

@Makingnumber2 I'm sorry you've been through so much since I last posted. I'm not surprised you are finding today hard as you wait for your scan. The waiting is horrendous. I have been in a similar position. The only thing to do is to be as nice to yourself as possible and wait for the time to pass. Will be thinking of you.

@Oilyoilyoilgob I totally hear you. I started TTC at 39. Ended up doing IVF at 40/41. I was horrified at the thought of needing treatment. I even had a full on tantrum on the way to the clinic "this isn't how I want to have my baby". But it isn't that bad. Actually it's kind of amazing. After so much time of worrying about your fertility and Googling information about things, you get to be cared for by this massive team of professionals who are all working towards giving you a baby. What you're feeling is totally normal and hopefully you won't need extra help. But if you do, it will be ok

Xxx

Hi @Sydney1986x thanks for your message! If it had been another chemical I would have definitely tried again this cycle but because it got further than that, I’m thinking to take just a month off. I may change my mind if at the scan they tell me there’s no medical reason to wait.

Thanks @Makingnumber2 and I’m sorry you’re going through this uncertainty. I hope the next 24 hours go by very quickly for you!

Hi @Janefx40 I remember you from the 35+ TTC #1 thread from a couple of years ago. Those ladies were a great support network.

@Makingnumber2 I hope the hours won’t go by too slowly for you, I honestly cannot imagine what you’re going through and I think you’re being really brave. Sorry to hear your bad dreams and lack of sleep. I hope today is ok for you and really look after yourself 💚

I’m ok thanks, tough night last night talking with husband and I need to stop going over the past and what ifs, it’s not doing me any good really as what’s done is done and I didn’t start trying sooner.

@Janefx40 thank you so, so much for that. Crying again, what an emotional period I’m having! That’s actually really calming to read, thank you ever so much. I had a hissy fit last night saying the same thing, it’s hard because blood test wise they looked good and I’m not sure is the problem infertility as such, prob just older eggs?
Because our tests came back ok it gave me a bigger reason to say ‘it’s not fair’ but tbh there could be an issue with my eggs or it could just be a case of it would happen naturally in a few months. But we can’t keep waiting and doing this with no pregnancy every month.

I know this sounds bad but on top of health anxiety I already feel really embarrassed at knowing I’m going to be having invasive tests and them seeing and probing into my vagina. I know they see it every day but I already feel myself dreading it 🙁

Just a quick check in from me (quite a long one actually but touching base with everyone before selfishly going back into my hole). 9dpo for me, nothing to report. Will test on birthday if no spotting or AF (which would be 15dpo) Feeling very disenchanted with the whole thing (aka quite miserable).
Had blood test yesterday and should have result by my birthday next week. Husband's SA appointment is Monday.

@eloiseislost I'm so happy to see your little bean is partying away ❤️ hopefully that news will keep you going through until the next scan.

@makingnumber2 I cannot believe you've not been referred to EPU 😕 however, at least there is a scan not too far on the horizon, still have everything crossed for you that the first scan was just an unnecessary worry.

@carol1980 where have you been?? Hope this cycle is the one for you and finding us is your lucky omen.

@comebackqueen Your BFP!! How amazing! Congratulations - all that worrying about tests and referrals obviously did the trick 😊 super thrilled for you!

@Oilyoilyoilgob so sorry about spotting and potential AF. Absolutely know how it breaks your heart. Hopefully there's nothing wrong with your test results and the doctor can provide some forward motion for you ❤️

@Sydney1986x I hope you ovulate soon, thanks for checking in on the MIA people! Probably a bit late now but is it worth ringing your GP to update your BMI so they pass across the correct info? Or just reply all on the email stating your new weight? My chalmydia test is being run as part of my blood tests so that's interesting!

@birdbybird welcome! So sorry for your losses. I imagine this method does damage sperm sometimes, but the significantly damaged ones would never make it to the egg IMO. Watch some YouTube videos on how the sperm gets to the egg - our bodies basically start a war with them all and anyone not strong enough gets bumped off in the journey. Also though, I read that your egg can usually fix a slightly wonky sperm? Something else for you to Google if interested 😊

@bitheby glad you got to meet your donor, let us know how you get on with your phone appointment!

@Janefx40 that's crazy! But I'm glad it was wrong as that's one less battle for you!

I know I've not mentioned some people - hope you're okay and pregnancies or SI are all going swimmingly. Keep going lovely ladies ❤️

Ah hello again @birdbybird I've not changed my username so am now considerably older than 40!!! I have had amazing support from Mumsnet over the years. I've even met up with a couple of people since!

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a loss at 8w4 in August and it is a hard thing to go through. It sounds sensible for you to wait a month until you've checked that everything is back to normal. Sending lots of love x

@Oilyoilyoilgob ah did I miss you saying your tests were all fine? Are you taking any vitamins etc? Just wondered if you were taking anything to help egg quality! It's absolutely devastating getting AF every month. It is embarrassing being on display but I try to think 'I won't see this person again so it doesn't matter / if they didn't want to see a variety of "lady gardens" they're in the wrong profession so that's their problem not mine" 😁easier to say than do I know. The more you dread it the worse it'll feel, would a sort of positive body/positive health mantra help? You could chant it to yourself whenever you start to worry?

@MrsKin90 so glad to hear from you, didn’t want to tag in case you were upset over anything.
I’m crossing everything for you that you get good news on your birthday of a positive pregnancy test, I really am. Best of luck over the next few days.
That’s great you got your bloods done, I hope all is well. That’s interesting you got your chlamydia as part of it, I didn’t and that would’ve been easier! Good luck to your husband too for his SA, I hope you both have good results 💚

I checked my results online yesterday afternoon. All looks well apart from I have no immunisation to rubella showing. Called my mum who is adamant I’ve had it so who knows. But I’ll need to get that done.

I’m taking pre-conception Vitamins and was always pretty good at a multivit before them so hoping I have bases covered. Diet not too bad either, no alcohol, no smoking, the only thing I really need to concentrate on is carrying on losing weight and upping my fitness.
Biggest thing for me is stress so I’m actively working on that day to day to lower it-apart from that there’s not much else I can do.

That’s made me chuckle about their jobs and lady gardens and I’m going to bank that! You’re right on positive affirmations and I’ll start doing it.
A good tip I got on a pet grief website was when going down a dark hole of bad thoughts, do something physical like click fingers or hold up a hand and say stop loudly. That’s been helping for everything, there’s a lot of finger clicking 😁

Don’t worry about going away into your cave, we all need to at some point but thinking of you and wishing you lots of luck for no period arriving and your health results 💚 xx

@MrsKin90
Hey lovely x

Yeah sorry I just had enough after the MC in September, just wanted to get on with things for a while I was I so pissed off with my body and found it hard to not get pissed off with my hubby too about the whole delayed ejaculation that I just told him I wanted a break for a month, ended up being a couple of months and I totally hope I don't regret it. Think I also had a wobble about turning 40 and the whole ' am I now too old to get pregnant' thrown in to the mix was a couple of friends getting pregnant and I was a hot mess in my own mind with disappointment and anger at myself for not being able to get pregnant again 🙄
But I think the time off has done me the world of good, no symptom spotting no testing etc

We have had the discussion about ivf though x don't know when we would get to the stage of let's just do it but I think we're going to keep trying at least for a few more months and see what happens x

@Oilyoilyoilgob I didn't realise it wasn't standard to have Chlamydia tested by blood to be honest. I know my nurse yesterday was impressed by how much blood she had to take and said one would be late back as they had to "grow things on it" which is the chlamydia one! She also said I was clearly having a "full MOT". 🤷
Haha I'm in a fluctuating upset/not upset state of mind really.
Immunisations do "run out" for some people don't they? So you have to get top ups? Not sure if I made that up.
I'm working on weight loss too 😊 slow going but every pound off is a success I guess.. (if I could wake up 14lbs lighter and pregnant tomorrow I'd be grateful, is that too much to ask?).
Well done with your finger clicking and trying to reduce stress. That might be all it really takes! I've been taking coq10 for egg quality for.. well forever now. Not sure it does anything but throwing it out there as an FYI.

@Sydney1986x thanks for checking in. I dropped off for a couple of weeks- af came right on time and I was feeling a bit miserable. I’m cd13 so we are cycle buddies. No sign of peak yet..

@Makingnumber2 just catching up on the thread and I saw your news about the scan. So sorry that you are dealing with all this stress. Got everything crossed for you for the next one ❤️❤️❤️.

@Oilyoilyoilgob so sorry that you are feeling so low. It’s just the hardest thing in the world TTC . I know what you mean about the invasive tests. I had my tubes flushed yesterday and I felt pretty awkward, but I just tried to put it out of my head and it was over in no time and then I felt good that I’d had it all done. Sending you solidarity and strength ❤️❤️

Hi all

Had my phone appointment with the NHS fertility clinic this morning. Not sure how I feel. I'm meant to be working from home but can't really focus.

Basically they will do all the tests - FSH, AMH, chlamydia and a pelvic ultrasound and I will have access to their counsellor all for free. But given my age, I won't be entitled to any treatment so I'd have to pay for that privately. If I'd started with the NHS when I first went to a private fertility clinic then I would have fallen within the funding guidelines and been entitled to NHS fertility treatment.

All the way along I feel like I've missed the boat/ had bad luck. I should have done better research I guess.

Anyway, it could all be moot if it turns out that I'm already pregnant. Feel crampy and tingly already but it's far too early for anything pregnancy related so I'm hoping I don't have a UTI brewing.