How long did people over 35 take to conceive?

[Jane334]

Hi

I wanted to start a thread as I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this. I am 36 and have been ttc since March 2020. We had a miscarriage in Jan 2020 at 10 weeks. This was the one and only time I have fallen pregnant.
I stopped the pill in Sep 2019 and naively thought I would conceive straight away..... I never realised 35 was such a big milestone in conception.
Any thoughts or feelings about ttc, miscarriage or just chat please share. I would like to make some friends.
Lots of love ❤️❤️❤️

I was 35 when I conceived dd2, I had a Mc after 1 cycle then got my bfp with my dd on cycle 4 after my Mc the midwife I spoke to said really they don't see you as "high risk" until your over 40 so I know they say fertility reduces after 35 I think the medical professionals only see it as a concern until after 40 so you have plenty of time I'd say x

Glad you posted this as I’m 39 and it’s been on my mind a bit. A week to go til my first cycle finishes so we’ll see.

Age 42, planned conception, within two cycles. Bit of a shock, that! It really does vary from one person to the next, statistics tell you a lot about your chances but not everything.

I'm 38 and TTC 1. Currently in the 2 week wait of my 8th cycle. (Have been using opks, charting bbt etc, but I haven't bothered to take any early pregnancy tests.)

So far, no baby.

Having said that, lots of women in their late 30s conceive pretty quickly and lots of women under 35 take a while, so I'm not drawing conclusions about my age just yet.

Both times within a month. But I timed it to perfection. Ovulation sticks are your friend.

Also maximise your health as much as you can

I was lucky, took about 6 months using opk and timing things well. I also focused on my health, mental and physical. I conceived when on holiday, as my daily job is stressful which I think was having an impact. I focused on improving my fitness but not putting too much strain on my body by over training. Good luck OP.

I’m 35 and it took us 8 months, the pill definitely took longer to get out of my system that I anticipated. My periods were all over the place for months. Currently 28 weeks pregnant
Good Luck

I was 35 when I conceived first cycle, my close friends were 36 (2nd cycle), 39 (1st) and 40 (5th). I know this is quite lucky but I don't think you need to worry until there's something go worry about

I think it took me about 5 years. I had a miscarriage at 40, then stopped "trying". I got pregnant unexpectedly at 41. Could have knocked me over wit a feather.

I'm 37 and we're on cycle 7 I think. I'm not using OPKs, but do use BBT for reassurance that I've ovulated.

I'm 38 ttc no 2 since October, thought it would be easy as my daughter was conceived easily but I've had 2 chemical pregnancies so far so it's been a little heartbreaking!

@Jane334

Hi

I wanted to start a thread as I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this. I am 36 and have been ttc since March 2020. We had a miscarriage in Jan 2020 at 10 weeks. This was the one and only time I have fallen pregnant.
I stopped the pill in Sep 2019 and naively thought I would conceive straight away..... I never realised 35 was such a big milestone in conception.
Any thoughts or feelings about ttc, miscarriage or just chat please share. I would like to make some friends.
Lots of love ❤️❤️❤️

Have you been to your GP? I think they advise investigations if you haven’t conceived after 6 months when ttc over 35.

@harrietm1987 yes I spoke to them yesterday and they are sending me for blood tests to check thyroid, hormones etc.

I do the clearblue ovulation digital tests and they do detect a peak so guessing that means I do ovulate?

How do you guys approach timed sex so it is not a passion killer? We sometimes find it difficult to relax and get in the mood for timed sex? Especially when it is the peak ovulation day and it has to be that day? Xx

Thanks to everyone for talking about their experiences.

It’s not reassuring to hear about your issues but it is nice to know we are not alone in our frustrations.

Did anyone make any changes that led to pregnancy? Eg stop caffeine/medication like paracetomol/ more water? Anything which made a difference ?

How do you guys approach timed sex so it is not a passion killer? We sometimes find it difficult to relax and get in the mood for timed sex? Especially when it is the peak ovulation day and it has to be that day?

To be honest we just accept that sometimes it won't be all hearts and romance or bodice-ripping passion, sometimes at the moment it's a means to an end and there will be times when neither of us are especially bothered but we get on with it anyway and 9/10 end up getting more into it than we expected.

Of course at other times it's significantly less of a chore

With regards to knowing that you've ovulated, have you considered using BBT? I've never used OPKs as I have a regular 28/29 day cycle but have used BBT coming up to and beyond my expected fertile period to check that I've ovulated, and it's always been exactly bang on when my period tracking app suggests that I should have. I find it reassuring that we're at least not shooting into the dark as it were!

Hi,

It’s nice to read so many other stories from ladies of a similar age.

I’m 38 ttc number 4 with my oh (it will be his first).

I came off the pill in September 2019, got a bfp in November 2019, but sadly miscarried at 9 weeks in January 2020.

I then mc again in March 2020, June, and most recently in November 2020, all around 6 weeks.

I’m now currently just in my tww of my 16th cycle of ttc.

After my 3rd mc my gp referred us to a fertility consultant for tests which we had done back in August.

I had blood tests done to check various things, all of which came back as normal. I had a scan done to check follicle count, again all was good.

My oh had a semen analysis done, again all ok there.

We were told it was likely just bad luck and not getting the right egg, and that likely at my age it was down to the eggs being of poorer quality.

I take a high dose of folic acid and a high dose of vit d, along with 200mg of ubiquinol daily.

I use opk’s and track my bbt using an OvuSense monitor that I wear internally every night. I never liked the idea of tracking bbt as I knew I’d never stick to waking up at the same time every morning to take it, and I often have broken sleep, so the OvuSense was perfect for me as it takes all the work out of it, I just connect it to my phone each morning and it gives me my core body temp reading from over night. It’s been so reassuring, as although my blood tests confirmed I ovulated, seeing it confirm each month with my temps has been great.

I would start using opk’s, and see that peak and always wondered if I really was genuinely ovulating afterwards, and now I know for sure that I am.

I don’t know if there’s an underlying reason we keep miscarrying though. The standard nhs tests didn’t pick anything up, but I know there’s a whole host of things it ‘could’ be if we were able to pay privately to have further investigations.

Unfortunately because I already have children from a previous relationship we aren’t candidates for more treatment on the nhs, so for us, this is really as far as we can go. We wouldn’t want to go down the ivf route, so just have to hope and pray when we get a bfp again it’s that one good egg we’re after!

Good luck and baby dust to all xx

@DuzzyFuck

That’s such a good point! I have only ever used the clear blue ovulation test kits but I’ve just ordered a thermometer! What type of readings do you see and what changes do you look for?
I think I have also not been having enough sex as we tend to stop after I see the peak ovulation on clearblue but from what I’ve seen today, ovulation can be later than 48 hours after the peak at times? Maybe the BBt is what we have been missing 🤞🏻

How long have you been trying? X

Age 31 - 1 cycle
Age 32 - 1 cycle
Age 35 - Chemical pregnancy and mmc. 2 cycles following mmc pregnant.

Age 39 - since July 2020 and not a sniff. Now just turned 40 and think may need to accept my fertility has declined too much to conceive. Seems to follow pattern with other females in my family.

Started trying Jan 2020. MC at 6 weeks in May. I wasn't too upset at the time as I figured I can get pregnant so it would happen again soon. However I've now turned 39 and are not so confident. Maybe it's not meant to be for me.

@Jane334 Make sure it's a thermometer that shows the temp to 2 decimal places, the changes are so tiny they won't show otherwise.

I take an oral reading the second I wake up every morning starting from 3 or 4 days before my fertile period and log it in my app. When I've ovulated it goes up by about .5 of a degree and stays that way until AF. I've actually been fascinated by studying it and learning what outside elements can affect it - alcohol pushes your temp up for example!

We've been trying since the summer. I think this is cycle 7 now and I'm just coming out of fertile window and into the TWW. We're going to give it another couple of months I think and then look into getting tests done due to our age. Luckily we're in a position to be able to go private for the tests and speed the process up a bit.

@Jane334 I’ve attached a couple of my fertility friend charts so you can see the shift showing ovulation.

I’ve attached my October chart where I got a bfp.

And then this current cycle. You can see my temp has started rising so I am expecting ovulation to be confirmed as having taken place on Sunday 3rd. I had my peak opk’s on Friday/Saturday.

I conceived both my DC first cycle when I was 34 and 36. I’m now 39 and been ttc DC3 since Sept. I’m not sure if it’s my age, a legacy of long covid or a mix of both! Or just luck. I’ve started with the OPKs a couple of months back and just started temping this cycle.

It’s a bit of a lottery really, although at a global trends level you’ll see fertility declining over time of course within that you get the 47 year olds with surprise triplets and 25 year olds needing IVF. Good luck!

Haven't read the thread but all pregnancies over the age of 41. #1 took 4 months, #2 was first month, #3 took just under a year. Note cycles were closer to 24 days so more chances per year I suppose!
Lost the second one around scan time but niw have two perfect children.
I know A LOT of 35+ mums.

I'm 37 now and we have been trying off and on since October 2019. It definitely hasn't been a solid year plus because I was ill for a bit but still, I think I took it for granted because my friends all conceived within about 6 months. I'm going to start taking it more "seriously" from this next cycle I guess, try temping again, am now taking supplements etc etc but I won't lie, I wish I'd started a couple of years earlier.

Just wondering how everyone in this thread is going ? @Jane334 @DuzzyFuck @thislittlebird @penguinmumma
I am in a similar position age 36 TTC for about 8 months now, temping and OPKs, thinking we are timing bd pretty well but no whiff of a bfp at all....getting quite anxious now. GP has been useless and tried to fob me off and said wouldn't do tests or referral yet as I have a regular period! But feel like there just be sth wrong if it hasn't happened yet?