How long did people over 35 take to conceive?

[Jane334]

Hi

I wanted to start a thread as I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this. I am 36 and have been ttc since March 2020. We had a miscarriage in Jan 2020 at 10 weeks. This was the one and only time I have fallen pregnant.
I stopped the pill in Sep 2019 and naively thought I would conceive straight away..... I never realised 35 was such a big milestone in conception.
Any thoughts or feelings about ttc, miscarriage or just chat please share. I would like to make some friends.
Lots of love ❤️❤️❤️

I took us 7 years and three miscarriages to have my son at 38. It felt like forever!

I was 2 weeks from being 34 with my first, I'm 36 now trying for our second.

We've only been trying a few months but I feel it'll be harder now I'm over 35. Hopefully I'm wrong though!

We are using glow app (used this first time round) conceive plus & clearblue advanced digital ovulation test this month! Also just generally having more regular sex, sometimes it's hard as we both work 45+ hours and have a toddler who doesn't sleep through

I'm 39 with two teenage children... Thought I was having early perimenopause but have conceived (unplanned) with a contraceptive implant in my arm.

Age, schmage... Think positively 😘

@Chamomile85 you might still be ok, I think I’m just one of the very unlucky ones and I’m unfortunately still lurking around the conception and infertility boards. It’s been two years since we started trying, not a second line in sight and all my friends had lockdown babies while we had endless tests and a battle with our GP and a gynaecologist for help. You’re entitled to GP fertility tests after 6 months of trying from 35 upwards so I would push for them if I were you. You can also get a fertility MOT with a private clinic if your GP is being unhelpful. We got messed around so much and had to go private in the end, to get listened to and for them to acknowledge we qualify for one round of IVF on the nhs, although that was seven different doctors later. We’re waiting for the IVF now, but I won’t lie it’s really tempting to do a private round (which we’re allowed to do in our CCG) this side of Christmas. I’m so tired of ttc.

@iwanttobeonleave I don’t know how you did 7 years, it’s so bloody hard!

I'm 35 now, was 34 when I got pregnant on cycle 3. Would recommend using OPK, really helped

Thanks @thislittlebird sorry sounds like you've had a tough time and its stressful that nobody seems to listen. It's being dismissed (by GP or others) that is so frustrating. Good that you are finally making some progress though. I will pursue the tests but have been looking into getting some private tests done but scared I will try and interpret the results myself and not afford further consultations or treatment....Hope you get ur IVF referral soon, if you were to go private would u forfeit your NHS go?

@Chamomile85 if you can get the tests I definitely would, or if you get the nhs tests I would read a lot of the info online about it, there’s so many good resources, as well as plenty of helpful and knowledgeable people on here who can point you in the right direction. I’ve learned you can’t trust all GPs on fertility, so definitely do some reading yourself. You’ll probably be fine, most people are, but I’ve learned so much this past year that I wish I’d know about earlier. Knowledge is power and all that.

Yeah, we’ve been told our results were fine when they weren’t, we’ve been told me not ovulating potentially or having barely any progesterone isn’t an issue, my husband’s low motility isn’t “enough” and so on and so forth. So for us spending some money on private consultants was useful, they told us we were entitled to nhs help and wrote letters of support. We only get one round of funded ivf in our CCG so the rules for this area say you’re allowed up to two private rounds before you forfeit your nhs round (because NICE guidelines say people need three rounds for the highest success rate). We’ve saved for it all during lockdown expecting the nhs would tell us to go away again, but a new (good) GP and a couple of private letters made a difference for us. We’re on the waiting list now and just ticking down the clock, not to mention getting older by the day!

At 35 first cycle: miscarriage and then again first cycle after miscarriage at 35 and that was a partial molar. At 36 again first time - got lucky had my DD. Since starting trying again at 39 I have had 3 chemicals in six months.

Conceiving is only half the battle. Best of luck x

I came off the pill after the doctor told ex dp he was sterile ....5 months later I was pregnant at 37 ! I'd had endometriosis for 20 years so I didn't even equate symptoms with being pregnant, I actually thought I was starting an early menopause.

I know I was incredibly lucky and I don't take it lightly.
At the time after coming off the pill I was following an incredibly healthy diet to combat my endometriosis. Zero alcohol, very little caffeine, no fizzy drinks, lots of oily fish ,salads veg no junk or processed food..... I've always wondered if that kick started my body and had something to do with it.

Took 7/8 months at 36 and a year at 39 (though I had a hormone issue so actually only 2 / 3 months after I had tablets for that) - over 35 is a generalised age to decline, it’s actually down to each person’s individual case so don’t focus on it too much xx

37yr old and about 5 stone overweight.
I fell pregnant literally within a month.

I conceived on the 3rd month when we started trying for a baby. I would have been 37 at the time. Didn't bother with any technology - just being vaguely aware of what would be the midpoint of the cycle. (Though actually I think I had assumed the timing wasn't quite right that month, so didn't initially think I was pregnant.)

Part of me thinks that checking re ovulation adds to the overall tension and it may be better to just see what happens, if possible.

I was 36 trying for second. Happened second month with clear blue ovulation sticks. Miscarried at ten weeks. Pregnant again next cycle again using the sticks and obviously some input from dh. She’s coming up for 1 now.

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I’m sure I read that the 35-cliff-edge is a myth and that it’s actually a slow decline.

I got pg with zero tries at age 33 (accident) and had an early miscarriage. I was devastated, despite it being unplanned, so I dread to think how it would feel from a planned pregnancy.

Took another 18 months of ttc to get pregnant with DC1, age 35 by then.

I got pg with DC2 at age 36 (zero tries again…)

I had a very short cycle, and I didn’t really think that through, so when I was ttc I was aiming at the wrong time of the month, whereas I really needed to dtd just as my period ended to get pg (hence the two accidents!).

I also had haywire hormones after my miscarriage (had blood test as my periods were awful), it reverted to normal when the doctor said I wouldn’t be able to get pg, so ttc was definitely stressing me out.

Good luck

5 years to have my first who was born when I was 38 years old. Pregnant with second before my first was one, accidentally! He was born when I was 39.

Sorry just noticed it was a while ago, hope you had more luck since OP

I had just turned 38 when I conceived DC1 after 6 months of trying. I'd been on the pill for 20 years and it took me 3 or 4 months to realise that I didn't have a classic 28 day cycle with ovulation half way through. As a PP said, OPKs are your friend.

I conceived DC2 when I was 41. We'd been trying for over a year. I had been taking a lot of painkillers for a medical condition during that time. I had an op to sort that.. and fell pregnant a couple of months later, during which time I hadn't needed painkillers at all. Probably a coincidence, but does make me wonder if the painkillers were stopping me from conceiving, even with rigorous temp tracking and OPKs.

A whole year, aged 35. Timing for ovulation didn't seem to work. When it happened we had sex shortly before my period and that worked unintentionally. No idea why.

Age 32 - 3.5 years
Age 35 - 1 month

I am clearly an anomaly!

@Jane334 i feel this post so much! I’m 36 and a half and just had my first pregnancy which ended in mc. I’m so gutted and now so worried about my age. I didn’t realise that this could be such a challenge and I’m terrified I’ve left it to late. No experience of friends that have suffered issues in the last couple of years. If anyone has an positive stories especially late 30s and first successful pregnancy pls send them my way. X

@LAURAPAX I posted earlier on this board when I was 39, I was just 40 when I fell pregnant again and DD2 is currently snoozing on my lap. Don't assume it's not possible for you x

Just to add I was 37 when I had DD1

Once. Age 38.

We were not trying to conceive, had gone away, I was drinking as was DH- like a pair of teenagers. No dietary changes.

I don’t say this flippantly I know there can be underlying issues and if I desperately wanted a baby I would no doubt be exploring all options. Losing weight if need be, eating healthily etc

But at the same time you also need to have fun, relax and remember you are a couple… with needs! Try not to panic, I know it’s easier said than done 💐

I conceived DS at 35 on cycle 2 after stopping the pill. We conceived twice this year at 36 once by accident which was a MC and the second time cycle 2 after the MC I didn't ovulate on cycle 1 after MC but sadly that ended in another MC. I've read it starts with an egg which has definitely given me lots to think about when we try again I've started a lot more supplements than I was taking