First Fertility Clinic Appointment Tomorrow

[dogmam]

Me and my partner have our first appointment with our fertility clinic tomorrow!

We went to the GP after a year of TTC and after 21 day bloods and partners SA, we were referred straight away to the fertility clinic. GP tests were in October/November so it's moved along quite quickly so far.

Feeling slightly nervous but also excited to hopefully get some help! My partners SA showed low motility and morphology so I assume that will be discussed..
What else should i expect from this first appointment? Is there anything I should be asking?

Thanks in advance! I'll update this after the appointment tomorrow as I know there are a few others on here who are in a similar position and might find it useful.

@dogmam we could end up being cycle buddies

I was going to try testing tomorrow but it looks like my rhr has given me a heads up! Its not looking promising....... 🙄

@PurpleUnicorn01 that's brilliant news!! How are you feeling about it?

@thislittlebird also great news - I'm glad they're taking you seriously finally. Next week already 🙌

@Kay00 she has terrible endo. We're talking regular group therapy for life with chronic pain kinda bad. It's spread to her hips so she limps, and all the scarring from the excisions and ablations cause pain as well - eg she now has an ovary that gets caught in the scar tissue :(. Fwiw I haven't told my boss about the infertility, I just told her about the lap from a gynae surgery pov so she wouldn't dig any further. I don't think it's a good idea to tell your employer tbh.

Feeling much better now but my belly button does hurt a fair amount still 😬

@juno231 thank you. Im excited but i guess i share the same sentiments as you all and don't get my hopes up x how are you?

😱😱😱 that poor lady, how debilitating for her! It's good that she has group therapy but I wish there was more they could do to help women with severe endometriosis 😪

Glad you're feeling a little better @juno231

@purpleunicorn01 I'd be feeling excited, I think you should allow yourself that. It's progress after all x

My first fertility appointment is on Thursday morning, so I need to start preparing for it. I'll get some questions written down and will write a summary of my attempts and test results so far.

@Kay00 my first is on Thursday morning too! I was going to post here to ask what do you guys who have already done this think is a useful question you might not have thought of?

Currently I’m thinking of questions around next steps, timescale and process but I’m not sure if I should be thinking more broadly.

@Juno231 best wishes to your belly button! Glad you’re feeling better, and yes I am relieved to finally be getting to see someone.

@PurpleUnicorn01 that’s great news!

@kay00 @thislittlebird, i hope you're first appointments go well. Are u private or nhs patients? On the nhs they just asked the usual medical questions, they look through you're test results and either request more tests or recommend more tests. My main question was waiting times etc. I needed a scan but there was a 3 month wait so i had it done privately and emailed it over to tge secretary of my consultant, so I'd advise always find out you're consultants name and the secretary.

@purpleunicorn01 so pleased your appointment has given you some timescales, looks like we will be possible starting treatment at the same time! When's your next appointment, do you know yet? Did your consultant give you a percentage of success? Or info on short or long protocol etc?

@paintfairy how are you? Not long until your official test day, I don't kno2 much about the rhr but don't think it's always accurate. Hope you're doing ok, it must be a really strange time for you.

@juno231 pleased you're feeling better! Just out of interest, why don't you think it's a good idea to tell your boss? I'm still undecided if I should have or not, obviously it's done now as I pretty much needed to for time off for appointments etc but hoesntly the way she reacted is so surprising to me, I haven't actually told anyone in real life and just assumed the natural response would be shock/sad/support so for her to be all cheery and excited makes me think is that how family, if I tell them, would respond. It's not necessarily a bad thing, it was really a positive response, but I think I was wanting some acknowledgement of the shit thing situation that I've got going on.

@kay00 @thislittlebird not long until your appointments. I think with it being the first one, until they do all the investigations etc it will be difficult for them to tell you timescales as that will depend on what tests they need to do, but I would maybe ask how long the follow up to each test will be, can you ring up for cancellations, will appointments be face to face or telephone, do they recommend you try anything else whilst waiting, can partners attend with you, will they accept private tests to speed things along etc
I think until you get your official 'diagnosis' from them and you are offered treatment, it's all about the tests and investigations so maybe just questions around those and their process.

Hope everyone is ok!

@dogmam I did an IC this morning but since I was already spotting, I knew the answer. 🙄 Disappointed but I kind of expected it i guess?
@thislittlebird @Kay00 they do tend to explain most things. I didn't ask everything at my first appointment (your head just gets lost) but they did say I can email anything. Plus I've ended up back a million times so i was able to ask things. I did write a list for one time of all the things I'd thought of, as we'd got so far through.

@PurpleUnicorn01 This appointment is my NHS one. I had a private consult after my AMH and AFC tests in January. They told us to bring our test results along.

Waiting times is a good one. I'm hoping they're going to say we need to have IVF. I'm happy to pay for anything if there's a long wait, I'll see what they suggest.

I have the consultant name already so I'll make sure the find out the secretary.

I'm going over my results from January and now remember I have a retroverted uterus. No idea how common this is.

@dogmam I think time is my biggest concern with all of this. I'm going to ask about the private tests if needed, and am bringing print outs with me of the tests I've had. I cannot lose any more time than absolutely necessary now, that lost six months isn't coming back so I'm happy to pay for private tests. They also have a private area at this AC unit, I think. These are good questions, I'll write these down!

Did they do any tests at your first appointments? They called this 'diagnostics' on the phone.

@paintfairy I'm definitely going to write a list because I know everything will exit my brain the minute I get there.

@dogmam, no not just yet I may give them a call in about a week to see if they have any updates for me. No idea in terms of protocol. I completely forgot to ask. I assume they will tell me on the next appointment before they start. I am sure it will come through soon.

@thislittlebird mine was a super quick first appointment and they glossed over a lot of the practicalities so be on the ball about asking how the things will happen. Eg if they say a repeat SA is needed - how is this actually actioned? For mine they asked for repeat bloods but forgot to say it was at a completely different location and that I could just rock up at the drop in and not have to wait for an NHS letter or whatever.

@dogmam I had a chat about the boss thing with some ladies on a different thread who are all going down the ivf route and the consensus was pretty much that there's zero protection for you from an employment law pov. So if you're pregnant or whatever you're legally protected - but if you're essentially declaring that you're trying to become pregnant - if you then miss out on promotions, bonuses or pay rises etc off the back of it you have no legal recourse. So no matter how nice you think your boss is, ultimately they're not there to have your back, but rather the company's. Considering the ivf route could take a lot longer than we think (years), I wouldn't want to have potentially ruined my career in the meantime.

@paintfairy I'm super sorry for the BFN but at least you know that it means your next IUI is more likely to succeed! Stats wise the percentages go up a fair bit with each iui so fingers crossed this was just a practice round and the next one's the winner. Also takes you into spring baby territory and that sounds pretty lovely 😍☺️

@paintfairy I completely forgot your bfn was IUI, sorry it was a neg but as Juno said, your chances will improve so that’s a good thing!

@Juno231 good tips, I will make a note of this.

Just thought I’d post my experience in case it helps anyone. We tried for 3 years then went for tests. DH had very slow sperm which was very deformed. They said we might get pregnant naturally but it would be unlikely.

A few months later I was ovulating but really sick and didn’t fancy sex so I ‘syringed’ the semen in as I didn’t fancy sex. DH was less than impressed. I got pregnant that month. Unfortunately I miscarried as I had very old eggs but then I got pregnant every month after that I syringed rather than had sex. Had 5 miscarriages and then one stuck. Then trying for DC2 was a repeat performance- got pregnant every month syringed but miscarried another 5 times.

One doctor said that the syringing might have deposited the semen nearer to the cervix so the weak sperm didn’t have as far to swim. Who knows but it worked for us.

@SunshiningBetty that is so cool!! I'm so sorry for the heart ache you must have experienced with TEN miscarriages though :(

@thislittlebird granted I also didn't have the secretary's contact details so had no way of asking after the appointment so that was probably the stressful part. I guess also make sure to ask what tests you could do privately that they can take into account in order to speed things up?

@Juno231 I have added that to my questions! Definitely need to know how to contact them.

@SunshiningBetty really? That's bonkers. You wouldn't think the syringe would put it any further up? Were you firing them out with force? 🤣 What size syringe? 🤔
@Juno231 I'm not sure on your stat logic! 🤣 I'm sure there's a 13% chance every time?

@paintfairy ah no iui success rates are cumulative for whatever reason. So your odds increase with each cycle but something like 90% of the successful cycles happen before cycle 4.

@Juno231 really? I don't really see how when technically they just do the same each time? There'll be no cycle 4. 🤣 I guess you have to hope one works though.

@paintfairy in sorry about your bfn. But yes now it means you're one chance closer!

@SunshiningBetty that is bonkers!

@paintfairy cumulative percentages were never my strong point but I guess it's the same principle as ivf having a 30% success rate per cycle but 90% if you do 3?

@Juno231 I think it's exactly the same chance per cycle. But because you have had more goes then it adds up. So over 3 yes it's more percent in total because you've had 3 and not 1. But there's the same chance per individual one. So cycle 2 has no more chance in its own right than cycle 1 did.

@paintfairy how are you? Assume you will be testing again in the morning. When's your period due and what's the next steps for you if this doesn't work out?