Can't take this anymore 😞

[rttcbabyno1]

Can't take this anymore 😞

Sorry in advance, this post is going to be a bit of a ramble/depression outburst, feel free to ignore 😞 & please don't say anything mean.

TTC baby number 1, we've been trying since July. 1st month we had a CP. 4 cycles later still nothing. So many pregnancy announcements from celebrities today, and although this sounds REALLY REALLY SELFISH, seeing their announcements just makes me burst into tears, so much so that I've unfollowed them from Instagram, I just know I can't take it, watching their stories everyday as I do, and it'll make me a little more sad each time. Obviously I wish them well, but I WISH it was me... I feel like someone watching down on everyone living their lives all the time, wondering when I'm going to be able to start living mine. Also, I'm aware that I haven't been trying for as long as some people have, but I am on my own journey here.

Think I need to go speak to doctor or something about my mental health. I've never experienced anything like this, I feel like I've always had mental health issues, but last year just killed me. Lots of changes happened in my life (not just covid). This new year has just set me off on a wave of emotions. I just keep thinking I should be pregnant by now. Today is the day I should have taken a pregnancy test (would have been 14DPO) but came on period a few days ago.

I'm just so so sad. Whether it's just the TTC journey or depression, or a combination of both, I think I need help 😞

Hi OP.

I know trying TTC is very hard on you emotionally. It’s ok to feel that way. But try not to make it all consuming. Try and enjoy other moments and don’t forget to have good times with your other half. Whether that’s going on a long walk together or baking/ cooking together or even doing a jigsaw together ( doesn’t float my boat but many people do enjoy). Just little things that you can do as a couple.

This comes from me who after 5 years and a round of IVF is now 19 weeks pregnant. Something I thought would never happen so I really do understand how you’re feeling.

Please remember though that most couples can take up to a year to conceive some take longer still.

@rttcbabyno1 hi there, I didn't want to read and run. I just wanted to say that I've been through what you're feeling and still am. I've been trying for 10 months now and no luck, I actually had a bit of a cry yesterday evening when opening up Instagram and seeing all the pregnant celebs on there, so my DH made me delete Instagram and Facebook! It didn't help with I went on the Daily Mail and saw that 3 more Celebs are now pregnant so I've now deleted that too.

I think you've got to remember is that people always post pictures of their pregnancies, but you don't know their journey to becoming pregnant. They may have taken months, or years, or had IVF. So try not to feel disheartened with these posts. You haven't been trying for very long (I know it feels like it - I'm guilty of feeling exactly the same after a few months) and it's perfectly normal for couples to take up to a year, maybe more to get pregnant. It might be worth deleting your apps? Or putting your apps in a folder titled 'think' to stop you from opening them?

I know exactly how you feel OP. Were now onto 2 years with no luck TTC and AF hit yesterday after some really promising pregnancy symptoms. I just saw that Mrs Hinch is having her second baby on instagram and cried. I don't begrudge anyone but I'm so scared that it'll never be me and it seems so unfair when people go on to have 2nd qnd 3rd babies. I just want one. I think it's normal to let yourself feel these things and hard not to let it consume you but try to enjoy the other aspects of your life. Feel it when you feel it and keep talking it through with your OH so he knows how you're feeling

Totally totally get you OP.

We have been ttc since July also, I got pregnant in August and miscarried, and nothing else has happened for us yet.

Yesterday a friend popped up on my Whattsap announcing her pregnancy with a scan pic and I burst into tears at the sel-checkout, and walked out without my shopping. That’s out of character for me and I pulled it back together later but it’s really taking it’s toll mentally- I should have scan pics of my own by now

It’s like being put through and emotional mangle isn’t it, and I really wasn’t prepared for that

Dobt be afraid to ask for some support.

Hi OP. I think I know the celebrities you are talking about as it's kicked me in the nuts too. One of the announcements was so obnoxious and OTT it made me sick to my stomach. This will be month 16 and not even a hint of a line yet

Really fed up with hearing how hard it is dealing with pregnancy throughout COVID as well, guess what's also fucking hard to deal with- infertility.

It's so so so hard to stay hopeful sometimes. Hope 2021 gives you some good news, I never thought I would still be in this situation this time last year!!!!

I completely understand where you are coming from as well, OP. I think unfollowing celebrities on Instagram is actually quite a positive thing - you’re aware that it is having a negative impact on you and you’ve chosen to look after yourself. That’s a good thing to do for your well-being.

Another person said try to enjoy other moments and I would encourage you to do that but also in a way that is a bit of self-care (however possible in lockdown) and in a way which works for you. It might be reading, or walking a bit more or drinking more water - so long as you are concentrating on yourself and looking after yourself. Speaking to the doctor sounds like a really good first step for that and I’d really encourage you to make that appointment on Monday. If you don’t feel satisfied with that appointment’s outcome, don’t feel afraid to be a bit persistent.

I really do understand where you are coming from, OP, and lots of people reading this will too. So don’t be too hard on yourself and allow yourself to feel the feelings as they come and go.

@ChristmasJumpers it was the Mrs Hinch one that got me too, partly because I detest her in any case and partly also because it was fucking obnoxious especially from someone who claims to have anxiety.

Yes I sound like a salty bitch but infertility will do that to you!!!!

Some of the celeb pregnancy announcement really get on my tits, they’re so smug.

I feel the same. Out of curiosity why was mrs hinchs announcmemt obnoxious? I hate hearing ir seeing peoples announcements i have to just check of of social media for a month or two i think.

@shaniac the first thing I saw was a picture of her little boy holding a sign which was quite cute but then I've just seen her story too. It's like that scene in Love Actually where the guy holds up the messages at Kiera Knightly's front door... loads and loads of envelopes each with a little message inside leading up to the big reveal of a scan on a bauble. Very slow and indulgent. I suppose when you have so many followers you can't possibly think of every reason that someone may be offended/upset by your posts though

Thank you for answering as i only saw the photo. Yeah i hate that. I will go one further, my friend just had a miscarriage and im sad about it but when she first announced her pregnancy in my head all i could think was its not fair, shes way younger than me shes been in a relationship literally one month irresponsible cow. I feel guilty even thinking it but i know if she falls again quickly the same thought will be in my head.

@shaniac I have a friend who is expecting in July and I'm so happy for them but it's just so unfair. We've been trying for 2 years and they "stopped using contraceptives but weren't actively trying" for 2 months. Don't beat yourself up too much for your thoughts, you can't help how you feel

Totally get you OP. When we were TTC, it roughly a year, both perfectly healthy, mid 20s and we couldn't figure out why it was taking so long, not one hint of a positive. In the 10th month, a work colleague announced she was pregnant and in the 11th month, DSIL announced her pregnancy infront of the whole family. Nobody knew we TTC and I wanted the world to swallow me up, I'd completely given up and one day went home to DP, had a cry and said I'm not bothered about trying anymore, I'd decided it was never going to happen. Just over a month after DSIL, I had a positive test and we now have a beautiful 1 year old DD. Don't lose hope, it'll happen to you one day, it takes time x

Its hard isnt it. My dp has 2 kids already with his ex and i cant help but feel jealous and angry that he will never know how i feel. As much as i love his kids he doesn't understand why his kids arent enough for me. As far as he is concerned hes experienced parenthood and passing on his genes. There seems to be a lot of heavily pregnant women where i live recently too.

God it feels a relief to be reading the things I feel from others, because sometimes this journey feels SO lonely.

TTC since July 2019, first sign of anything in October 2020 turned out to be ectopic and now I’m even worse off than I was before (lost a tube). My friends who started trying after me have had their babies. As sympathetic as they and my friends are, they just don’t get it.

Sometimes I’m shocked at what a depressive state I get into. And like someone here said I just want ONE, it’s such a desperate place to feel like you won’t have just one.

I’m actually going to remove the pregnant people on insta today, I just face and stomach it usually but actually I don’t need to ✌🏼

Hi @rttcbabyno1 how are you feeling this evening. I really wanted to reply back to you.

You are not alone!!!! Please remember this, I know exactly how you feel and honestly if one more person on Facebook or insta posts that they are expecting I might explode. Friends/celebs. Honestly some of them have the most perfect life!!!

I’ve been trying since July too and no luck. Every month I’m so positive but then AF comes, or it’s late and my hopes build up and then they are shattered. I completely get it. I’m also TTC my first and I just want it so bad.

You can rant and rave, you can get upset but we will get through this. We have to remain positive. Someone said to me, one more month down is another month closer so we need to be optimistic. We can do this. I wish you the best of luck and it will happen for us!!!

It’s so hard Op. It took me 7 months with my first baby, I then had a miscarriage at 7 weeks with my second pregnancy and we have now been trying 9 months and still no luck. I have found the barrage of pregnancy announcements really difficult, but just remember it’s only because you are hyper sensitive to it that you are noticing them. Just try and focus on doing productive stuff; eating healthy, exercise, prenatal vitamins etc so your body is in top condition. Maybe book in for a bit of acupuncture to help relax you a bit.

@Shaniac I find her obnoxious in general. But her posts tonight literally had me in tears.

All of her faux fertility issues she talks about in her book and then to go out twice and make a ridiculously smug announcement at a significant time of year, just can't stand it. Like well done, you struck lucky, not all of us do.

I really think a lot of celebrities could have a bit more decorum when it comes to things like this, it's bananas.

I didn’t know she had said anything about fertility issues. Clearly she doesn’t have much of an issue if she can be so smug and look-at-me in her announcements

Sorry to jump in here but I'm curious, what did she discuss regarding fertility issues? 100% agree on how over indulgent her announcement was.

Please don't feel too down. You are still well within the year time frame that it takes most couples to conceive in. We tried for 5 years! I understand how difficult it can be and how it feels all consuming but you really need to put this timeframe into context. Start learning about what help you can receive but bear in mind (age dependent) your gp may require you to be trying for at least 2 years. Good luck OP x

When you are under stress your body may decide not to conceive. When you relax and stop trying it can happen. As that’s what happened to my aunt. After she adopted thinking she couldn’t have a baby. And then she did so now she has two.

Acupuncture has a good track record for helping with fertility and conception, and keeping things on track for the birth.

You need to pay. It’s £50 to £60 where I am per session. It’s been around for centuries and is regulated by just one professional body. Look up therapists in your area and se if you can find one who is interested in women’s health etc. (Not the likes of a doctor who does it occasionally, someone experienced who just does acupuncture).

Good luck. I’m sure it will happen once you are more relaxed and not stressing about it!

I’m not convinced stress has a massive impact actually. I feel like if all the tools in your body are there, and you’re doing you’re thing at the right time, you either get pregnant or, for some reason, you don’t.

Women from all walks of life in every situation have been getting pregnant since time began. Through famine and war and an endless list of other factors. I know people mean well when they say ‘relax and it’ll happen’, but there’s so much more to it than that and it really isn’t that simple.

*your thing

@SmidgenofaPigeon I agree completely.

If I had a pound every time someone said that to me I would be able to afford endless rounds of IVF. Also when people say it it's almost like it's putting the blame on you? Like it's your fault for not being relaxed enough? I just find it quite unhelpful!