TTC chat 2

[1992EM]

@apwilso @Tabbycat92 @laura2093 @TtcPhee @LRW26 @Highfalutinlootin @Mummy2girlz @laurielo @DNpink82 @Lozza85 @Dex1521 @Misty84 @Marcella84 @MiniBaker @Amy95 @MrsLauraM

I have made a new thread as the last one is almost full. I hope this ok @apwilso and have added as many people as I could find to it.

Morning everyone. Took tests again this morning hoping for a darker line... It's slightly darker than yesterday but part of me still doubts this is a new pregnancy. I know it probably is but I can't shake the doubts

@1992EM I'll be joining you there at the end of the week.
When do you plan to test?

@hopefulmummie defo looks positive to me, and defo stronger than yesterday. Congratulations

I’m 2dpo today after the best OPK positive and BBT rise I’ve ever had. Never had an OPK peak over 0.8 on premom app and this cycle I got two days of positive OPKs at 1.33/1.13 and big rise in BBT. So fingers crossed this is my cycle 🤞✨

if not I’ll have to leave mumsnet for good I think as seeing people constantly post pregnant tests is really affecting my mental health. I’ve never been a jealous person but since ttc all I feel is jealousy and think “why can’t that be me 😔” I know we all have different journeys and experiences but it’s all I want and seeing everyone else get positive tests just really gets me down.

Don’t think it helps living in a town where teenage pregnancy is rife and seeing all the immature kiddos 9months pregnant. Mini rant over and time to stay positive!

@1992EM what dpo are you? And when are you planning on testing?

@hopefulmummie looks good 👍. Fingers crossed this one is a sticky bean . Congratulations x

@tabbycat92 oh that is good . I need some tww buddies 🤣 so I can share all my imaginary symptoms x

@dex1521 I am 4 dpo so not far off yours. We can crazy symptom spot together. I have some sort of phobia when testing so I'll most likely wait until AF is due in 10 days time . I was a serial tester when I started ttc and now I can't bring myself to test . I totally get the jealous thing . I am the same and I don't no how many time I have deleted the app 🤣. It is so hard and I just feel everywhere you look other people have babies and I really want it to be me . When are you planning on testing? 💕 x

Negative test today 10 DPO

@laura2093 still very early so you are not out yet x

@1992EM at least we have each other I’ll definitely be reporting all my imaginary symptoms no doubt about it lol. I plan to test around 10dpo I’m just such an impatient person. I wish I could just for AF to show/not show too would probably stop all the heart ache I feel when seeing a negative test 😂

@Hopefulmummie we've had someone else do this in this thread before. This is not meant to be rude but you've got the clarification that your pregnant by multiple tests so you can only go by looking at the tests unless you go to your doctors. Someone else has said that people are welcome to come in a thread and chat but your posting pregnancy tests that clearly say pregnant I'm not sure what you want us to say to it? This is a group that's continued for a few months with each other through this journey which is difficult for most of us. And your joining to keep posting blast pregnancy tests looking for what? Us to read out your pregnant?

@dex1521 this is why I stopped testing as I actually found negatives were harder to accept that AF showing . Guarentee as soon as I hit 6dpo I will symptom spot 🤣 x

@apwilso completely agree with what you said and glad I'm not the only one that feels this way. It's honestly heart breaking the amount of times you go to catch up with a thread you've been in for months for someone new to starting asking if it's positive when it clearly shows that it is. I wish everyone who gets their BFP the very best but I feel like I "know" you ladies who have been trying for months as were all in the same boat. Sometimes seeing the positives tests just make me feel like a failure and that ttc is all a competition when really we should be supporting each other. I don't mean to sound rude or harsh or unkind but I just think people should be more aware of others feelings and the situation they are in too

@apwilso @Dex1521 I find these comments quite rude. I came on this thread for some reassurance as I wasn't sure that this positive test was from my previous miscarriage or a new pregnancy. I obviously know it's positive I just don't know if it could still be from previous pregnancy. I also know it can be a difficult journey I have been TTC for nearly year and have had an ectopic pregnancy and a miscarriage since so don't accuse me of just coming on to post blast pregnancy tests.
I've been on other threads where everyone has been more than supportive in helping me figure out if this is a new pregnancy. I am disappointed I didn't get the same support here.
Good luck to you all

@Hopefulmummie if that's how you feel then fair enough. But look it from our point of view? You've jumped in a thread and ask questions fair enough that's what it's there for. I had a miscarriage one the first month of trying so I understand that. But to me your posting pictures in that say pregnant and if you've had clarification from others on other threads that maybe have more experience then we've got it. But especially if you read our journeys or stories some people in this thread have children already and some don't. I just don't understand what else we could say other than your pregnant like your test says? I'm speaking on behalf of a few people who have already raised concerns about people sending in pics for "line eyes" and that or people who are suffering with their own journey. There's various threads or starting your own up for your own circumstances because I know on my behalf I have no idea and I just see you posting tests that say pregnant and asking if your pregnant? That's it. It's not being rude it's being considerate of others and if you read down you can see people leaving groups because of there struggles. Non the less congratulations I wish you the best and hope you can find reassurance

@apwilso I literally posted 2 pictures. I would.understand more if I was constantly posting. But if that's how you feel no worries

@hopefulmummie I understand your situation may be confusing, and I feel for you. Unfortunately, if you yourself don't know if it's due to previous MC then theres no way we are supposed to know. So all we see is someone posting a blatantly positive test asking if it's positive or not. You must understand how this can be upsetting to those who don't get their positives.
Maybe give us a bit more back story before posting and we might be able to help? Introduce yourself to us (sorry if you already have and I have missed it) Otherwise I'm sure there are plenty of threads around conceiving after MC where people will be more knowledgeable of your situation.
If the tests are getting stronger I would say its a good indication that you are pregnant, and if so congratulations!

And no offence intended @Dex1521 and @apwilso but your messages have been very blunt to some of the ladies posting on here. I understand you're upset and frustrated, but anyone is allowed to join the thread.
We are all women at a very vulnerable stage in life. Big each other up, congratulate each other, and just generally be a bit kinder. You don't know the past these women have had. They may have been ttc for the last 7 years, and are so shocked to see 2 lines that they want confirmation from everyone!

Love to you all xx

@Tabbycat92 thank you. I did introduce myself and explained my situation. Thanks I hope so too. Was just looking some assurance.

Thank you for seeing it that way too. I thought the messages were a bit blunt and basically telling me I wasn't welcomed on this thread. No one knows anyone's story. Its not like I've just tried to get pregnant and it's happened

Sorry @hopefulmummie in that case I missed it. I generally take a break from the forum between AF arriving and my fertile week.
I'm sorry to hear about your MC, when did it happen? Did you track your hcg levels dropping after?
I personally have been lucky enough to never experience a MC first-hand but have close friends who have. I understand how much of a horrid situation that is.

Just want to clear the air here. I'm not blaming anyone or trying to victimise myself or others. So here goes...

@Hopefulmummie no where in my previous messages did I say you were not welcome in this thread. No one owns the thread it's just a group of women supporting each other through ttc - I hope you can see it the way myself and @apwilso did that the only two messages I saw were of two blazing positives I understand you've had a hard journey, we all have, and I'm sorry if I missed early messages if there were any and also sorry about your pregnancy losses I wouldn't wish those on anyone. But what else are we meant to say that the pregnancy tests don't? I wish you all the best in your pregnancy and hope it works out for you but all I see when I see those pictures is "she's pregnant but I'm not" and "another positive test but I've been trying for months and not even seen a glimmer of a line". Personally I feel like a failure when all I get month after month is a negative test then AF arriving.

I left mumsnet purposely for two months as I was getting depressed due to doing everything right but never seeing that BFP like everyone else. I only came back as I have no support circle around me it's just me and my fiancé.

I can see why you thought my comments were rude and understand we all need reassurance but if you don't know if the BFPs are due to a new pregnancy or from your MC - how are we meant to know?

Can you see my point of view?

@Tabbycat92 sorry you felt my message was blunt. I know this is a support group and that's why I'm in it but month after month saying congratulations to everyone except myself is heart wrenching. And as I said above I didn't say people weren't allowed to join this thread it's just when people jump in and out asking for confirmation on a test which is clearly positive it personally makes me feel like 💩, when it's so easy to create a new thread and ask for reassurance/answers there.

But enough of this, I'll step back from this thread for now as you probably don't want to hear anything else from me.

Good luck everyone in their tww xx

@tabbycat92 don't worry. My miscarriage happened about 6 weeks ago. I was 8 weeks. Was gutted as I also had an ectopic pregnancy in June this year too.
Yeah a more or less got a negative test result 2 weeks after. It was the faintest of lines so I took as negative.
I'm hoping this is a new pregnancy and it works out. Thanks for asking :)
I wish you loads of luck

@dex1521 definitely don't step back, you need the support just like the rest of us.
I understand your pain seeing positive tests, I feel it too. Friends and family announcing is so hard, but it's just a fact of life. People are going to get pregnant before you, it's not going to do you any good to let it get to you everytime. Plus, when you get your two lines you're going to want people to be happy for you too, right?
Your time will come, all of ours will.
If you see a BFP post, rather than thinking "why not me" think "if they've managed to finally concieve after a struggle, then so can I!".... Or just scroll on by. Whatever is easiest for you xxx

@hopefulmummie wow that wasn't long ago. I'd say if you were getting a negative then, and now it's getting darker then you're most likely pregnant. Huge congratulations! I'd say your next step would be to get it confirmed with your GP, which despite the current pandemic they should accommodate given your recent MC. I wish you all the luck that this is a nice little sticky bean that stays in place! Xxx

@tabbycat92 thanks so much. Yes I will def ring GP I was thinking they might not do bloods but as you say I should explain my history and tell them I need confirmation that this is a new pregnancy. Then I can book a private scan in a few weeks

I'm not arguing or out and yes they might have been blunt which is easily taken over message as you read with tones. But i have no experience of it and the forum is for TTC something along those lines of circumstances where it's more unique a new thread i would say is the best start but it is what it is. It's not from a bitter place in the slightest like @Dex1521 said we're happy to congratulate people. I must have missed @Hopefulmummie intro so that's my mistake as I thought you had just thrown it in without a backstory. No not everyone knows each other in or out or what there currently dealing with. I'm going through a bad time now with personal family problems and regretted coming on here after only having a weekend break as I've come on saying I'm having a new mindset get horrendous news an hour after I posted that and now think I need to come away again.

I'm down for supporting women etc and I may have come off rude and blunt sometimes I just type however I say it etc but I haven't kept up to date with stuff because I'm struggling myself.

I appreciate all the support I've gotten in this group but I wasn't thinking about myself I was thinking as I know @Misty84 has had to take some time away and other girls have dropped off the forum just to struggling or being upset.

Sorry if that's how it is but I'm thinking of others as well and I know it's difficult. Anyway I'll be back on the forum sometime in the future. Currently I think I need to think about my family situation and I can update you all at some point. It might be days or weeks I'm not sure.

@1992EM Do you think I'm still early? No AF yet but still gutted x

@laura2093 yeah I think 12dpo is more reliable as it takes at least 2 days after implantation for a test to be positive and you can implant from 6 to 11dpo. When is AF due ?

I seem to have missed loads. I get everyone's point and I know it comes from a good place but let's be supportive of one another and not turn against each other . We all have our own journeys and I agree seeing a positive test is so hard . I also get that people need reassurance as I am sure I would do if I eventually get a positive. Let's draw a line under it and move on. I love this group and you have all been a massive support to myself throughout the last few months. The last thing I want is for people to feel upset. Let's get back to our crazy symptom spotting and hopefully see some double lines for ourselves soon. x

@1992EM don't get started on symptom spotting only just come off my AF and feel a symptom coming!

@apwilso 🤣 honestly I am obsessed around this time . I swear our bodies play tricks on us. x