Delayed ejaculation

[Beth191087]

New to this so sorry if its a bit long winded.
My husband and I have been trying to conceive for over a year, he has delayed ejaculated, never been able to ejaculated in me but can when masterbating. Its really frustrating for me as we both really want to start a family. Does anyone have any advice? We have tried popping it in when he is at climax but it doesn't seem to work all the time. I just need help with it.
Thank you.

No real advice but is he on antidepressants? We had this issue a couple of months ago when DH changed his medication. The small print for the tablets said it was also used to treat premature ejaculation.

No he's not on any medication at all.

This sounds porn related ("death grip") it would help if he stops using porn and masturbating.

Hi @Beth191087, I don't really have any advice, but just wanted to say that my OH has a similar problem. We've only been together two years, the first year he hardly ever ejaculated inside me, but it wasn't really a problem as we weren't TTC. When we decided to start TTC in April I really did wonder how we were going to manage. He has a high sex drive and has no problem getting 'aroused' (ahem) but he takes ages to come, and often doesn't manage it. He's now managing it about 40-50% of the time, which is better than I had hoped and is just about enough to have a bash at TTC. It does mean though that every cycle I worry about whether we will be able to do it enough times. It's really difficult as I can't really discuss it with him, as I know that making him feel self-conscious about it will only make it worse. When I was at the start of our TTC journey I saw some threads on here with some ladies who are trying to get pregnant using self-insemination. Some of them are using donor sperm, but others are doing it with their partners for this very reason. You could maybe check in with them and see if that might be an option for you and your OH? Wishing you all the luck in the world x

Hi @Beth191087! I've been with my DH for 8 years now and he's always had this issue. The past year we've been seeing a sexual health counsellor and we've come a long way understanding the issue and improving our sex lives. He still cannot ejaculate during intercourse, but I'm currently pregnant!! We used a soft cup.
There are means and ways around it if you want a baby! But I also recommend seeing a specialist to work through the issue for the sake of your relationship and mental health.
There is a great group of us who TTC in "unconventional" ways, you'll find a lot of support, no judgement and the occasional TMI 🤣

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/4066030-The-Turkey-Baster-Gang-gobble-gobble

All the best in your journey! 🧚🏼‍♀️

Thank you both so much! That has made me feel a bit better! And congratulations on your wonderful news! Xx

When I first met my DH, he had this issue. It was in the end, porn related. It isn't for all men, but I reckon it is for a good proportion of them. My DH had been single a while before we got together.

DH stopped masturbating and within weeks the problem was solved.
That's not to say he has to stop forever, but it's certainly worth a go whilst you ttc.

Hello :) glad to see @eloiseislost got here first to link the thread where we're TTC with these (and other) issues. You're more than welcome to join us!
I get what people are saying re. porn use and I'm glad that stopping porn worked for some people.
My DH gave up porn/masturbating over two years ago as we were sure this was the issue - it wasn't. It's much more complicated and psychological and medical than that for a lot of people. Although I agree if your OH is masturbating and using porn it's a good place to start!