The Turkey Baster Gang (gobble gobble)

[Oilyoilyoilgob]

Just starting a new thread on self insemination before our first one locks down!

39 pages of highs and lows and THE most supportive group you could wish for if you’re starting or on a self insemination journey.

💚✨ good luck ✨💚

Good luck for this month @MrsKin90!
Our attempts maxed out at twice in fertile week due to dh's lack of drive. And that was for a whole month so you have all my sympathy.

More gentle virtual hugs @primrosechill and fingers crossed for next month

Thank you @DinkBoo - how are you feeling today? Resting loads, I hope?

Hi everyone @DinkBoo I definitely second the suggestions of bed rest and relax (as much as possible)
Try not to test if possible, or give yourself a time limit maybe so your brain doesn’t tick! I’m very much sending positive thoughts to you at this time xx

@MrsKin90 I’m trying to find little things, I’d like to take up my cross stitching again. I’m trying to read actual paper books and not be on my phone, but I’ve found the escapism of games a bit addictive. My old lady 2 is in the vets-she could barely use her back legs when we got up this morning. I’ve spent all day crying with palpitations and will ring them at 4pm if I’ve not heard anything. Our other cat, her sister, had her second cancerous lump off this year. With other things going on I’m having a pity party today, I’ve just had enough. Sorry to lower the tone of the thread to gloominess 😞

My husband is getting concerned at my stress levels for ttc and my anxiety levels are bad. I’m debating whether to go to gp for meds but I kind of don’t want to. Also I don’t know if anyone else has had this but he’s talking about opks and syringing and I just feel like screaming at him ‘leave me alone’ as it just feels like stress upon stress. We will of course do it this month as we need to, I finished my period Saturday. Just feels like I don’t want anything else to worry about.
I just want to bury myself away 😞 sorry for this message

@primrosechill big big hugs to you, I’ve just read your last post. Sending cuddles xx

BORED!!!! So BORED!!!!!!!

Felt very crappy this morning and early afternoon, now feeling better and having to resist the temptation to catch up on housework etc.

My previously all day but not too bad nausea got a lot stronger today, and boobs have been very achey for more of the day, so hopefully those are good signs and not just hormones running their course.

@Oilyoilyoilgob I'm being good, I promise.

I was prescribed propranalol for anxiety a couple of years ago, having reached breaking point. I was really scared of going to the GP to discuss my mental health, but he was so supportive and listened to all my worries about finding a solution that would work for me.

I am sending all my best wishes to you and your feline family.

It sounds like you really need a break from everything right now, let alone ttc.

I hope your husband is able to take on board your need for him to back the fuck off right now, as well as supporting you. It sounds like a break from ttc pressure is probably the thing you need most right now. Make sure he is aware that your mood is unlikely to be helped by feeling like he is piling on the pressure.

You can afford to take some time out and it sounds like you really need to

@DinkBoo thank you ☺️ I’m ok, vets just called she’s no broken bones (this is 5.5 weeks after her limping and 2 of those on meds) bloods ok still waiting on thyroid as they had to get the test from another branch.
I’ve had them 12.5 years and I honestly just love them so much 🥺 I’m animal mad but these have been my girls and my babies really.

My husband has been ok, he’s very much a glass half full and I’m the opposite (I would say realist!) but I can spiral into the very worst case scenarios and I have been.
I think he’s trying to pull me into the ‘now’ of keeping on track because time/age wise is against us. He’s right, I know I have to do it too.

I think what isn’t good right now is that I have a lot of thinking time which is doing me zero favours. Then I get to the point where I really want to be left alone, which I can’t do when I’m married ha! Tbh I think I’m just at the point of tipping and I need to really really focus on minding myself-I have a tendency to leave myself absolutely nothing in the mental and physical tank.

I’m sorry everyone for writing this and it sounding depressing too. I will not derail the thread.

Back to ttc when I got pregnant for the briefest of moments, we inseminated daily. Really went for it with zero sex so it was purely down to syringing. It works, it just needs to work more bloody often for all of us!
My period tracker says my fertile week is next week, with estimated ovulation date of 21st. I’ll start doing the sticks on my next wee today to build up a better picture for the premom app.
Sending hugs to everyone xx

@Oilyoilyoilgob that sounds really hopeful! Hope the results arrive quickly.

I lost my soul mate cat a couple of years ago and was absolutely floored by it for about 6 months (still tearing up typing this), it's so hard when they are getting older and you just want to keep then with you forever

I'm glad husband is being supportive, but sometimes there's nothing worse than an optimist

Could you find just one ttc thing to let go of for this one month to make it feel less pressurised?

@Oilyoilyoilgob sending you lots and lots of virtual hugs - sorry you're having a hard time and I can totally empathise with wanting to tell your husband, everyone around you, to back the hell out. I really do hope you get the help you need - personally, therapy worked miracles for me when I was at my lowest.

"It works, it just needs to work more bloody often for all of us!" is a great mantra. I have spent half of my lunchtime today reading positive reviews of insemination "kits" (just cups and syringes really!) on Amazon just to remind myself that there are plenty of people who successfully got pregnant - and gave birth - from this method

@primrosechill big hugs and sympathy for your BFN ☹️😒 pregnancy tests are evil I've decided. I hope you're okay. How is your spotting now? Isn't your LP usually only 11 days? So that must be a good sign if still no AF, even if it's just a sign of a slightly longer LP. I like to read reviews like that too!! 😊

@Oilyoilyoilgob so sorry you're having such a difficult time. I actually think it's good to be real on here, if we are all positive all of the time then we won't be supporting each other during our miserable times because we'll be hiding it and that's not good! We already do enough of that in real life!
I am sending lots of hugs your way! I second seeing your GP if you're struggling, sometimes knowing your options is half the battle and you feel better just for going! You don't HAVE to accept any help but good to know it's there if needed ❤️
@DinkBoo glad to hear you're taking it easy!

@MrsKin90 my spotting ended last night - no AF yet! But I have been cramping and feeling like it’s coming all day - I’ve been going to the toilet literally every hour or so and checking my knickers lol. 😂 And yes! You are totally right, looks like my LP will be at least 12 days this cycle which is a definitive positive. I actually started taking Seven Seas upon your recommendation a few days ago but I think it would be too soon for them to have that impact... so maybe it’s the lifestyle changes (I stopped drinking altogether) or the fact that it’s now been a long time since the MC 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’ve popped a big sticky note on my pregnancy tests that says DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT 🙈😂 - I feel like a mug every time I take a test and it’s a BFN so even if my period is not here by tomorrow morning, I’m going to try to be strong and not give in to temptation. I am still completely sure I’m out this cycle but a girl can’t bloody resist a good pee on a stick opportunity, can she??? 🙈

Super good sign that you've not got AF yet @primrosechill 🤞I hate that panic checking for AF! Regardless of the reason every extra LP day is a good thing 😊 you can resist testing - I know you can! I definitely find it easy not to test compared to everyone else, currently don't have any tests in the house!! I'll be crossing everything for you.

@Oilyoilyoilgob I'm so sorry you are feeling low. I see so much of myself in your words that my heart aches. I don't have any great advice, I only know to take it one day at a time and sometimes I get these nice little breaks where I feel fine for a few days, but anxiety is very sneaky… It always comes back. Therapy has helped me massively though.
I can't help but feel that this bloody pandemic is making everything worse! Even when we don't realise, I think subconsciously it fills us with anxiety and uncertainty and forces us to face the fragility of our species, which is terrifying!
I would say give yourself a pat on the back. Despite how crappy you feel, how irritable you might be, how negative your thoughts are, you're still here, you're still a wife and a caring cat mum 😻 and you talk about your problems, be it here or with DH or your GP. Like a friend of mine once said to me "You are a mess but that doesn't mean you're not brave." 😘❤️

@primrosechill Hope AF stays the f*ck away from you!! 🤞🏼 🧚🏼‍♀️

@DinkBoo I hope bed rest works its magic and helps your little bean stick! 💘

8 or 9 DPO today and last night I semi-woke up in the middle of the night with TERRIBLE AF cramps. Not even my normal kind of cramps, this kind of pain I get when I have a really bad period, maybe once a year or so. I also have a mix of watery and creamy CM which is unusual for me, normally I'm dry after ovulation.
I want to remain positive but also don't get my hopes up over vague symptoms, so I'm assuming AF will be here soon. Knowing the b*tch she is, it'll probably be bang on my birthday in 2 days!! 🙄

Well ladies, the blood gates have opened this morning! So we’re back to day 1. I’m trying to focus on positives: I got an extra day of lutheal phase which is now within a normal healthy range + my DH’s sperm improved after 2 months and it takes 3 months to produce entirely new sperm so hoping his guys will only be in a better shape for the next cycle 🤞🏼

@eloiseislost keeping everything crossed for a better outcome for you this cycle ❤️ Sorry you woke up in pain - hope it goes away xxx

@bigsweetpotato, DPO buddy, how are you??

@primrosechill I'm sorry AF got you but I'm so proud of your positive attitude! I know it's hard to see the light in what feels like the eye of the storm, so you are inspiring! 😘
My luteal phase has been between 11-12 days and I get really anxious when I see posts here along the lines of "10DPO today, AF not due for 5 days" 😥

The pain went away and I slept normally, thankfully because I get super cranky when I haven't had my 7 hours. It was so odd, I only get this kind of pain on CD1 or 2. But I've been reading that implantation cramps are supposed to be mild and this wasn't mild I tell you! 😖
I'm torn between testing on my birthday (10/11DPO) so I can have a drink if BFN or just wait until I'm late. I think a BFN on my 34th birthday, during a pandemic, with nothing much to do to celebrate, will probably break me.

Hi ladies, just catching up on msgs! Hope everyone is ok.

@primrosechill my dpo buddy, aaargh for AF. I've been spotting over the last 2 days and my temp went down to 36.4 today... I have "the feeling" so I've been checking for arrival constantly too. Re my luteal phase I only really learnt what this was not so long ago! I have been tracking more closely on Femometer this cycle with my bbt and lh and it says I'm 14 days from ovulation (not 100% sure if completely accurate). The bbt temperature thing is blowing my mind though and I've got a bit obsessed with taking my temp lol.

I have also started taking the seven seas vitamins instead of pregnacare. My OH has had breakouts and wondered if it was the male pregnacare that was causing them - he stopped and his skin cleared up a lot. There is excess things like ginseng and Maca extract, pine bark extract which he could have been sensitive to. I looked at the lady pregnacare ones that I've been taking and it has lots of vitamins and super high NRV value for some of them which I probably don't really need? So I'm trying seven seas for a bit.

Anyway sorry for the long boring update. Really hope you guys are all ok, hugs x

@bigsweetpotato 13-14 days for LP is really healthy! So even if you get your period today, you are doing well :) You probably ovulated slightly earlier than me after all, since I only managed 12 days in LP before AF struck this morning. And I have only just jumped on the BBT wagon, too - it is amazing to see how smart our bodies are, isn't it?! I use Femometer, too.

@eloiseislost thanks for the lovely words. I am of course super heartbroken as with every failed cycle... I ovulated on my husband's 30th birthday in October and I thought "what an amazing belated birthday gift would that be, if I could tell him we made a baby on his big 3-0?!" - so sadly that's no longer an option! I need to learn to stop writing these scenarios in my head. I totally hear you about your birthday... If I were you, I would try not to test on the day, it's too much of an emotional bomb like you said. You should of course only do what you feel comfortable with but I think you can have a celebratory drink even if you don't test - if you are pregnant, the baby is not attached by placenta yet so supposedly it wouldn't impact it in any way. It does sound like you need/deserve one, for sure :) xxx

I’m in tears reading your messages. Thank you so much everyone. My lady is home and can just about walk. She’s so fussy to see me but I’m staying away for as much as I can for 24 hours (heartbreaking) so she stays still in the one room she is in. I’m just really sad-she was drooling so badly from the sedative and stress and my god it honestly broke me. I absolutely love these cats with my entire being 😞

And yes whoever said you want to tell an optimist to piss off is right. I love that about my husband and I actually need that yin to my yang, but sometimes the cheeriness of him trying to perk me up annoys me 😄😒 We’ll go for a big walk today as he is home then I’ll inseminate tonight.

I’m sorry for everyone who feels period symptoms. I hope your periods don’t arrive! Eloise fellow scorpio, mine is the end of the week! Do whatever feels right on your birthday. If you feel you could handle a bfn (I hope it isn’t) then do it and have a lovely drink and food.

Hugs and love to you all. Take care of yourselves. I keep saying it but I need to book in with my therapist, I’m putting myself last again and it needs to stop.
We need to look after ourselves xx

@Oilyoilyoilgob Only people who have pets can truly understand the depth of the love you share with them and all the heartbreak that it brings about when they are unwell.
When I almost lost my boy last year, I of course took time off work to take care of him and one of my coworkers was going around the office saying "She took time off for a cat?!"^^ 🤦🏻‍♀️ Or, another one of my favourites, "When you have a child, you won't care about your cats so much!" As if I decided to take responsibility for the life of another living being just to pass the time till I conceive! 🤦🏻‍♀️ 🤦🏻‍♀️
Sorry for this rant, your messages just brought back those feelings for me.

I think you are right, you should speak to your therapist because you deserve to look after yourself. Although I know how difficult it is to take a step out of misery when it engulfs you. Sending virtual hugs! 🤗

Awesome that our birthdays are so close, don't know why this brought a smile to my face!

I totally feel like AF is coming as the day goes on, which is so odd because it's so early, even for me! 😔

@eloiseislost I could give you THE biggest squeeze! Birthday buddies, and inseminating or not I will raise a glass to you on sunday 😊

Oh bless you, such horrible comments. Insensitive people really need to think before speaking.
I had one over my budgie we’d had years and an old co worker laughed in my face and said ‘it’s just a bird’. I personally find that outlook so alien to me-I don’t kill greenflies even 😳😄
And yes to the comment ‘you’ll not care so much when your kids come along’ how odd, like my love for everything would be spread so thin that it’d have to give somewhere-quite the opposite my capacity for love and caring honestly know no bounds. Once I’m on your team I’m on your team for life, animal or human 😍😁

You are so right, the depths of feeling depressed and anxiety can almost be a self destructive hold and it’s stopping me from seeking help. But I will, I guess with both girls being unwell my energy has been so low that having a therapy session made me feel tired at the thought of it.

My mum and dad just dropped something off for me on a socially distanced drop off. They’ve had an awesome chat and dad told me to try and cut worrying, it won’t make the cats better but it’ll everything else in my life. He worded it so eloquently in real life.

Wow sorry guys what an essay 😳 I need to start journaling 😂

Honestly when this crap is over, one day I’d love to meet up with you all. Absolutely lovely people xx

@Oilyoilyoilgob I'm all for a Gobble Gobble Gang Meet-up!! 🎉 One of the things to look forward to when this madness is over!
I've been known to book appointments with my therapist and then cancelling because I was feeling like crap and didn't want to talk to anybody. Once I made myself get out of this mindset and started engaging, it really helped. But, don't put any more pressure on yourself. You'll make the appointment when you're ready, no sooner than that. And that's OK. 😊

My cat has just ruined my husband's very important online presentation by opening the door to his office (I honestly don't know how he did it) and jumping in front of the camera, refusing to move! 😹

@primrosechill so sorry AF came for you. I constantly our fantasies in my head and I've decided not to do that to myself any more. So let me know if you need to scream at you and give you a shake 😇 we started TTC two weeks before my lovely mum told us she had terminal cancer and had a year to live, so then it became a race to have a baby whilst she was still here. Then it was to get pregnant by my 30th (which was in March). Then I just wanted a BFP whilst my mum was still here but she left us in July 💔 and then I was day dreaming about an Xmas announcement 🙄 but that's gone too. So that's it for me. No more time limits, no more day dreams about telling people or making cupcakes to tell my husband 😂 any excuse for cake. It adds to the stress and is extremely heartbreaking. I hope you're being nice to yourself and doing whatever you can to make yourself feel better ❤️

@bigsweetpotato I hope AF doesn't come but sorry you've been spotting and feel a bit AF-ish.

@eloiseislost if it were me I'd just have a little drink if you want one for your birthday! It's lovely reading yours and @Oilyoilyoilgob conversations ❤️ it's good that everyone keeps everyone else going on bad days!! I try to think that the bad days we have make the good days feel even better 😊

My update is that my BBT went up today and I feel crampy and exhausted! This has made me a bit excited. If my BBT stays up of course, I'll be able to say I ovulated on CD14 😱😱😱😱 not to get ahead of myself as my body has been known to tease me, but I'd be so excited if that was the case!! Small victories and all that.

@MrsKin90 my heart completely breaks for you so much just listening to you recount the dreams and the disappointments. I'm so sorry you never got to tell your mum she was going to be a grandma, but I'm sure she left this planet knowing that you will be a wonderful mother one day.❤️ I'm sorry it's too late for a Christmas announcement, too (I assume you mean because you'd like to wait three months), but it might not be too late for a Christmas gift to yourself - you never know when the good news comes. You sound like such a caring and empathetic person, and I really keep crossing everything for you. For all of us!

There are two upcoming dates I still dread: Dec 17th (my due date before MC) and 28th Jan (my 30th birthday). As much as I'm trying to ignore the calendar, I know it will be extra hard on these two days. We're speaking to our doctor on Friday - will ask if there is anything else we can do to improve hubby's results and whether I should be concerned about my short periods at all. I also treated myself to some extra nice bath salts and some fancy smelling candles - they should arrive on Mon, just after my period wraps up so I can treat myself to a lush bath.

@MrsKin90 Really sorry about your mother. @primrosechill put it better than I ever could, your mum left this world knowing you will be a great mother one day. ❤️

Well, ladies, is anyone surprised? I caved and tested with a cheapie and got a BFN! 😑 I don't know why I keep doing this to myself, it's actually kind of funny. I know AF is just around the corner, I know it in my heart! But because it's so early (I am only 8/9 DPO and my luteal phase is 11/12 days and I never get symptoms until the day before AF) I had hope that all the symptoms were early pregnancy. 🤦🏻‍♀️
I feel like a total clown 🤡 but I'm definitely drinking on my birthday. And tonight!! 🍷

@eloiseislost you can't count yourself out yet!! You know you're testing too early bless you. And cheapies are notoriously a bit rubbish! That's why FRERs are so popular. Have a little drink lovely, it won't hurt. But don't give up 🤞

Thank you both for your kindness. I know my mum will be watching over me, and I was wrong to ever put that pressure on myself anyway.
It's not too late for Christmas presents for us all @primrosechill! Those dates coming up are bound to be really hard for you. I think it's a good balance to try to get through it but also to let yourself feel the sadness that you need to. Did your know that when you cry emotional tears they have a different chemical make up to all other tears and help release stress hormones from the body?? That's why having a big cry can make us feel better! So make sure you do have a cry if you need one 😊 it's good you're talking to the doctor on Friday, hopefully that helps! I looooove bath salts 😍 sounds amazing.