The Turkey Baster Gang (gobble gobble)

[Oilyoilyoilgob]

Just starting a new thread on self insemination before our first one locks down!

39 pages of highs and lows and THE most supportive group you could wish for if you’re starting or on a self insemination journey.

💚✨ good luck ✨💚

@MrsKin90 sorry you’re having a rubbish time right now - pity parties are totally allowed, especially on this thread! Happy to join your bash kitted out with “fuck ttc” balloons and “screw you AF” cocktail of your choice 🥂 quite seriously, it’s horrible when people around you announce their babies/pregnancies - it forces you to drink a deadly combo of envy and guilt sinultanously. I’m glad that on here at least we get to be real with each other but also genuinely thrilled for one another! Sending you big love - I really hope you get your good news soon!!

Speaking of good news, something small to be happy about: we re-did my husband’s sperm analysis today, two months since the first one. Morphology is still below average but the motility has massively improved and is now well within norm! Plus the volume has increased. Hoping this is all a step in the right direction and a bit of a confirmation that healthy lifestyle changes really can make a difference sometimes :)

That's excellent news @primrosechill 😃
I keep telling DH to eat better and move more but to no avail so far!

Thanks @eloiseislost, I am quite proud of him for giving up booze and running more - now come on baby gods, what else do you need from us?! Ha.

Sorry to hear about your friend and I can totally relate to what you’re saying. My pre-MC due date is fast approaching and I’m just trying to look on the bright sides of NOT being pregnant right now: like giving birth in lockdown or not being able to see my family in baby’s first days. Maybe it’s all happening for a reason so we can have a much smoother ride once this madness is over(ish)...

Thank you both for understanding. It is so hard. And you definitely can't say these things out loud in real life as I'm sure people would throw stones or something. I love this friend dearly and would have been just as sad for her had she not had a lovely healthy pregnancy by now, but I am not coping well.

@primrosechill that is really good news!! It's good to know that positive changes can affect sperm so much and that a less than positive SA isn't the end of the journey!

@MrsKin90 Even saying "I'm not coping well" is a step in the right direction. You acknowledge your feelings and you allow yourself to experience them, even if it's just on this platform (no stones in sight here 😄). And you know what? Yes, you love your friend but right now they have something you don't and it's OK to be hurt. It says nothing about how you feel about your friend, it says nothing about your character, it only speaks to your own struggle. But don't let go of hope, you'll get there! We will all get there and I refuse to believe anything else!! ❤️

I'm so sorry @MrsKin90 it is and always will be so hard, no matter how happy you are for them, and how much their happiness is deserved after a loss.

Pity parties are sometimes just bloody necessary.

@MrsKin90 I’m sorry you feel so low.. I have 3 close friends due in the next 2 weeks, they all started trying after us too abd like you I am happy for them but also as I wait for yet another AF (bbt temp drop yesterday) I’m not sure how I will cope with 3 people what’s apping me baby pics in the coming weeks 😭 trying to keep it together! I’m 2 days late on AF and a temp drop but nothing - feel like my body is torturing me 🤬
It’s such mixed emotions and it does just feel like pregnancy comes so easily to so many people but when you struggle it’s so hard abs people can’t understand it unless they have been through it x

Well, I woke up today feeling utter crap!
I'm meant to be temping between 5:15-5:45 as this is when I wake up for work 5 days a week.
Today I woke up at 4 because I was stressed about my temperature, I fell asleep wondering if it will go up today to confirm ovulation.
This is not the first time this has happened either! I end up sleep deprived and with a messy chart which causes more anxiety.
Lo and behold temperature was the same as yesterday, which is still up from pre-(assumed)ovulation but that was not good enough! This sent me down a spiral of anxiety, ended up with chest pains and shortness of breath.
So I decided to just stop the madness. Put my premium FF account on hold and uninstalled all the other fertility apps on my phone too. Then, I put away my thermometer and my OPKs and HPTs in the closet. Thankfully DH is a heavy sleeper! 🤣
I decided I am taking my life back! I will still TTC but I will just use SMEP and whatever will be, will be. I have 2 specialist clinical jobs, one of them brand new, 2 cats, a DH with ED, a dysfunctional family on the other side of the world, a mortgage application to complete, buying and moving house and to top it all of, I live in a bloody pandemic!!! 😱
I have enough on my plate, thank you very much.
Sorry if this reads like the rant of a crazy woman... it kind of is. 🤭
Thank you all again for being here, I feel that just being able to connect virtually with women going through similar experiences is the only thing making TTC bearable. 😘

I hope everyone is having a better day than I do! 😆

@eloiseislost sounds like a perfectly rational reaction! You definitely have more than enough on your plate right now. . I hope today gets better, and you manage to catch up on much needed sleep and have a chance for some serious relaxation.

I held back from doing more than tracking periods and fertile week in Clue. Even using opks can make me get a bit too hung up on ttc.

Some time having sex just cause you damn well feel like it is definitely necessary.

Speaking of being a totally rational person...
I'm now feeling a bit like I jinxed myself posting about my positive yesterday Felt like I had 'dead' cramps last night (anyone else get those? Feels like a mild period cramp on mute) and went to bed thinking af was about to start. Then my boobs went rock hard for a while. So fell asleep confused.

Tested this morning and another positive, same strength as yesterday or possibky a very little darker, then some spotting and back ache this morning after an hour of housework, so decided to test again with very (like almost entirely clear) dilute urine on the basis that if that looked positive then that was somehow more reassuring () and I did get a 'line eyes' positive within 5 minutes still.

So I guess I'm just waiting and keeping my fingers crossed. And not at all feeling like a crazy woman.

@DinkBoo You are right about OPKs, they can be source of stress as well. This cycle I got fed up of holding my pee and not drinking practically all day! Almost gave myself a UTI! 🤣

Things are looking good for you! I don't think the lines would get significantly darker from one day to the other, it takes roughly 48 hours for hcg levels to double, if I'm not mistaken. And, from what I've heard, cramping and spotting are perfectly normal in early pregnancy. Also, I get a backache after an hour of housework and I've never been pregnant!! LOL 🤷🏻‍♀️

@eloiseislost I suspect opks cause more stress than they are worth at times, definitely not worth a UTI < cranberry juice. Cervical mucus needs lack of dehydration too, right?

I think all housework is clearly far too physically demanding for either us right now.

Though it's a little more rewarding than all day job site trawling and I really need a distraction right now (just hit 2 years unemployed, worked my whole life, lots of qualifications, then apparently became completely unemployable after a redundancy ).

I'm keeping my fingers crossed, and will try to resist testing again for a couple of days.
My moment of madness this morning at least confirmed my belief that I did have 2 clear positive results in comparison to the very dilute line eyes.

@DinkBoo Funny you should mention CM! I noticed this cycle that I didn't see any EWCM in the days leading up to my positive OPK. Once I got the peak and stopped testing and started drinking normally (which for me is a lot), it's like the floodgates opened! 🤣 So obviously the more hydrated your body is, the more watery your CM.

Have you spoken with your GP yet? I bet you'll feel even better once you have the date of your first scan! 💕

@DinkBoo Also, sorry to hear about your struggles with employment. It's getting more and more difficult to have a good, stable job. The reason I have 2 jobs, 50 miles apart, is because full time permanent jobs are few and far between in the NHS. I know I'm lucky but I can't help but feel a bit annoyed when my older colleagues have worked in the same place most of their lives, got promoted within and have way better pensions that they can access way earlier. 🙄 Oh well! You have your bean to focus on now, it's going to be a full time job! 😁❤️

@eloiseislost I definitely noticed an increase when I made an effort to actually drink a decent amount of liquid.

Maybe a good sign for stepping away from all the 'equipment'.

Drink some water, have sex when you want it is a very enticing approach

It's so sad that even in the NHS permanent ft work is so hard to come by.

DH is a previous generation to me in the same job, and I do sometimes resent how much easier it was for him to get and keep a job, the fact he has a pension at all...

I'm starting to think this bean may be a chemical bean, feeling more like af is coming as today goes on, and starting to look that way too.

Stupid limbo. But also stupid I don't want to be out of limbo the 'wrong' way.

@DinkBoo Lots of women here have said that during early pregnancy they felt like AF would come any minute. It's good to be cautious, but don't get too worked up about it either. You can speak to your GP about it and he should direct you to the EPU. Keeping everything crossed for you! 💖

@eloiseislost thanks! I'm trying not to dwell.

I'm going to sit it out for a few days at least, unless things take any worrying turns, as I'm squarely in the chemical window. I have plenty of tests to keep an eye on lines Getting through to our GP surgery can be a several day job, even before covid. Luckily my oldest friend is a health visitor and amazing nurse, so I have private health care at the end of the phone

How is everyone doing today? @DinkBoo how are you feeling, are you getting any new symptoms?

8DPO for me today and I feel so much more stressed - I think in a way the closer it gets to the end of TWW the more you're aware of BOTH possible outcomes, and I am just not ready to get another BFN :( I've started breaking out today and have been pretty annoyed today - two classic pre-AF symptoms for me so feeling pretty low. Gah. Must treat myself to something nice on the weekend - maybe a film marathon or a few calls with some pals.

Big hugs to you all!

Hi @primrosechill 🙃
Film marathon sounds great, especially in this weather! DH and I are going to a Greek restaurant on Saturday (in Scotland so no lockdown yet). Though we had a huge argument last night about something silly, like who's turn is it to make dinner and we are not speaking now. 😂 I love him dearly but he's the laziest man on Earth!
I'm only 3DPO so still OK, not even thinking about it. It helps that I've stopped temping in the morning, TTC is no longer the first thing I think about when I wake up!

8DPO is still early days, you're not out until AF arrives! Keeping my fingers crossed for you! 😘

@DinkBoo I hope you're relaxing and looking after yourself and hope this one is a sticky bean!
@primrosechill waiting to ovulate and then the end of the tww are the worst times as you wasn't both to hurry along but you don't want the end of the tww if it's going to be a BFN! Be extra nice to yourself at the weekend with lots of treats. I hope AF doesn't turn up!

I'm CD10 today! Did SI last night just in case 🙄 and will try to do CD12, 14, 16 and 18 🤔 We will just try our best. Although we've done two days before and day of O according to BBT for several cycles (minus the one before last which was long) and that hasn't made any difference so trying not to stress and just do what we feel able to!

Hope everyone is okay, thank you for all the support I feel less sad today 😊 although I had counselling this morning which probably helped as we talked about how I'm ONLY 30!

Hey everyone! Glad you all sound more postive today

@MrsKin90 to make you feel better, I'm 39, somehow 40 very soon. I do not know how this happened, and very rarely manage to accept it is real. Stupid time passing.
(this is also why I'm trying to be stoic for a bit longer and just keeping an eye on things)

I'm not having a great day today, not terrible, just not great. Felt a bit overwhelmed this morning just cause this last month feels like a decade has passed )

Positive cheapy test again this morning, bit stronger than the fmu from the two days before I think, but I brought myself back to bed a few hours ago as I've got a headache and feeling a bit rough in none preggo ways.

@primrosechill no new symptoms of note, I had to take my bra off yesterday as my cups were running over uncomfortably and I had really sore boobs for a while (I'm already a 34 gg goddammit!) and they've definitely been feeling in the way all day today. Also had to unbutton my jeans a couple of times to get comfy which I never normally have to do. Yesterday I felt pregnant for most of the day, today I just feel poorly in a normal poorly way.

So still keeping my fingers crossed and keeping an eye on myself basically.

One noticeable thing is feeling like my hormones are on a roller coaster, so I'm alternating everyday between feeling crampy, back achey, and approaching af-y, and then feeling nauseous, tired, and having breast-focused symptoms. Feels like it's swaps morning/afternoon/evening over and over.

And again I say that like it has been ages not 3 feckin days

@eloiseislost hahaha I love-hate these types of silly fights when you look back and think "I can't believe we didn't talk over THIS" but in the moment just can't let go. Hope you make up and get to enjoy a lovely dinner, though - we really need to appreciate little things in life right now!

@MrsKin90 thank you for your lovely words and great to hear that you are feeling a little bit more positive - counselling can be a godsend sometimes. I'm 29/turning 30 in January and keep reminding myself I still have plenty of time but it's so hard to focus on positives when you feel like this has taken over your life.

I've started cramping a lot - at 8DPO this makes me constantly oscillate between hoping it's a sign of implantation and despairing that AF is just around the corner. So much for keeping it cool this cycle...

@DinkBoo sorry you're not having a good day! I bet it is a bit overwhelming! I think it all sounds very positive and typical of things I've heard pregnant people say. How is your OH doing?

@primrosechill it is so hard isn't it? There's something about turning 30. Everyone in my life seemed to flip from 'there's no rush' to 'are you ever having one?'. It's impossible to keep chill isn't it? I try to tell myself my thoughts and feelings won't make any difference to the outcome so just let yourself feel what you feel. I try to distract myself with a book but end up picking up my phone to torture myself with other people's BFP stories or baby birth stories and stuff! 🙄 Not too many days to go for you. Try to keep yourself busy if you can!

Hi everyone just checking in.

@DinkBoo hope everything going ok and it all stays in the bfp zone 😃🤞🏻🤞🏻

@MrsKin90 I hope you’re feeling better. That’s tough with the friends. Hope you’re feeling ok and come on here to rant and cry-we are here ☺️
One of my friends is due feb and I’m ticking about it again. I stopped myself today though. This process is very strange so don’t beat yourself up about feeling upset/jealous/anything else (!)

Just stopped my period so I’ll do opks from tomorrow. I’m going to really try to take it easy-we’ll inseminate of course but I’m not going mad over thinking. I’m making myself poorly now with anxiety, I’m taking it easier-it’s very hard constantly logging, counting, syringing etc worrying and ticking and I’m determined to tell it all to piss off 😄 Easier said that done but I’m trying!

We went for an awesome walk today and we are getting a chinese takeaway soon. Enjoying being in and safe and warm-focussing on gratitude today ☺️

@primrosechill and @eloiseislost I fo hope you’re both ok too xx

Nice to hear from you @Oilyoilyoilgob 🙃
I'm good, we went to a Greek restaurant today and we ate ourselves into a food coma! 🤣
Currently either 3 or 4DPO, stopped temping because I was getting obsessive so can't be sure.
If need be, next cycle we will follow SMEP. Have you looked into this @Oilyoilyoilgob?