The Turkey Baster Gang (gobble gobble)

[Oilyoilyoilgob]

Just starting a new thread on self insemination before our first one locks down!

39 pages of highs and lows and THE most supportive group you could wish for if you’re starting or on a self insemination journey.

💚✨ good luck ✨💚

@eloiseislost I'm glad your appointment went well and that physically there are no complications xxxx

SORRY, @DinkBoo I of course meant to tag you in the previous post, not eloise. I'm a scatterbrain this evening.

@eloiseislost I'll cross my fingers for you just in case, and hope your DH doesn't notice how much you've spent 😱😱

@DinkBoo I suppose everything completing naturally, is a small mercy in such a horrible time. "Relax". I know they probably mean well but we should be allowed to throw heavy things at people who use that word.

@primrosechill boo 🙁 AF is such a bitch. I'm so sorry. At least your limbo has ended I suppose. I'm sorry IUI hasn't worked for you this time. Definitely recommend getting smashed on some prosecco.. of course in the spirit of "relaxing".

My friend sent me her scan picture today. I think I'm dead inside as didn't feel anything. AF properly started after that though haha.

I deeply envy people who can say they "planned" the due date of their babies. Envy and slightly hate with a passion... 😳 😬

@MrsKin90 LOL at your AF starting upon seeing a photo of a scan - she is an absolute witch. I’m so sorry she has finally arrived though - I’ll be raising a glass to you on the 31st hoping for more cooperative bodies in 2021.

@primrosechill I can hardly not forgive you given my en masse replying

Getting pissed over NYE was strongly advised by the epu today, and it is important to follow all medical advice

(nb I don't actually drink at all anyway, so I need to think of other things I can celebrate with... ham...? )

@MrsKin90 He will probably notice but that's something for my future self to worry about! 😆
By the way, DH is adamant this is implantation bleeding and he barely knows what it is! But I just have a gut feeling it's AF. 🤷🏻‍♀️
I get daily photos of my friend's newborn and even though she's like a sister to me, I feel utter and complete apathy towards this baby. You said it better than I could have, I feel dead inside.
Don't get me started on people planning their due dates and getting it right! We almost had our 'sweet summer child' but, alas, it wasn't meant to be. It just seems so easy and straightforward for everyone else that, if it weren't for this thread, I'd think I was the only one struggling. Everyone talks generally about TTC being difficult but very few share real stories so I end up feeling like a freak of nature sometimes.

I forgot to say, @MrsKin90 & @primrosechill, sorry AF got you both. Drinks, chocolate and a healthy dose of self-pity are allowed today! 🥂 🍫 🧖🏼‍♀️
Y'all and DH have planted the seed of doubt in me about the spotting so I won't drink tonight but I feel like I'll raise a glass to all of us soon! 🍷
Prim, I read somewhere that the average number of IUI cycles is 3, so while it totally sucks it didn't work this time, there is still a very good chance it will work next time! 🤞🏼 🌈

I saw this image and it made me chuckle. 😄

Sorry AF got you both @primrosechill @MrsKin90 I feel I am coming up behind you in the AF race as my bbt temps are lower this month then they have ever been - average 36.50 and normally I’m near 36.90 after ovulation - which is weird in itself and no idea why it’s generally been lower this month - but I know she’s coming - hopefully it won’t drag now.

DH and me are getting wasted on New Years now as my AF will be here by then and then positive pants on the 1st and positive thinking that 2021 will be the year we make a baby! I will be sticking with the soft discs too for the next cycle. I dread to think how much we have spent on everything ttc I think over the past 18 months its around 800 - mainly the tablets I’ve tried cost a fortune! Me and hubby are on the coq10 now (amongst other things) and they are about £40 and we both take them so only last 45 days x

Good morning everyone!
@Lori23TTC I think as long as you see a clear thermal shift on your chart, the specific temperatures don't matter that much. I find that my temps are generally lower in the winter, probably because my DH doesn't like the heating on in the bedroom so it's a cold room.

BBT went slightly up this morning but [TMI] spotting has increased. Still only when I wipe. At this point I kind of wish AF would show up properly today or tomorrow so it rounds up the shitstorm that 2020 has been and I can start the new year with more hope! And Prosecco! 😅
I have to admit, yesterday when I was entertaining the idea that this may be implantation bleeding, I did feel hopeful but also genuinely and intensely terrified at the possibility of being pregnant again. 😞 I want a baby more than anything at this point but the MC has taken a lot of the excitement out of the process. Still early days of course and I might feel different when I get a BFP, but it's funny how different I feel about it all just now.

Sorry to hear AF turned up @primrosechill. I’m CD27 today and have been having cramps on and off yesterday and this morning so far so pretty sure that’s me out this month.
I’m same as you @Lori23TTC I just want Af to show and not drag out like she did last month when she was 2 days late (which felt like eternity)
@eloiseislost it’s totally understandable you’d be feeling anxious about falling pregnant again after your last experience. A close friend of mine had 2 MC before conceiving her 2nd child and the first trimester of her pregnancy was such a tough time for her and she dreaded going to the toilet etc. Once she got that 12 week scan though over with she felt she could relax a bit. 12 weeks is a long time to feel on edge though- I felt for her so much. Maybe when you do next conceive you could book a few early scans privately to reassure you?

@eloiseislost thank you for the reassurance on the BBT that makes sense! I have been getting up earlier this month as my cat keeps waking me up so been taking my bbt much earlier so that could be it too. I get that, I even feel scared for when I am actually pregnant one day and I’ve never even been pregnant before so it must be so hard when you have had a MC to not have that worry. Just got to take everyday as it comes. I really hope it’s implantation for you. We all seem very close on cycles which we haven’t been before!
@Makingnumber2 it’s a horrid feeling just waiting for AF and not wanting her to arrive but also wanting her to as you know she’s on her way! I hope it doesn’t drag for you! Xx

Thanks to all you lovely ladies, I felt like my admitting I hated my friend would make me sound terrible but I’m glad you’ve all confirmed my opinion that she’s awful and didn’t deserve the friendship.

I’ve also been a very naughty girl today, I rang through the to fertility line and they checked all their systems and not one referral has been found for fertility.

As I only got the text on 23rd December - I’m hoping it’s just taking a while for their system to pick up but as it’s an e-referral these are usually instant because my gastro ones were on the system three days from referral as I rang up to check as it was under the two week wait and I was going through turmoil having just lost my dad from a gastro related cancer.

I’ve now just really upset myself and my husband who’s working has had to talk some sense into me and just told me to wait a few weeks into January.

The text message stated months as well so my husband is not thinking this is alarming. He thinks I’m probably on a wait list system that only registers on their appointments system when a free space opens up.

He is most likely right but I just can’t deal with the uncertainty. I don’t care if I have to wait ages for the appointment I just want official confirmation I’m on the list.

Sorry to hear a few of you ladies got AF in your TWW I’m still waiting for the bastard to show up for me so I can attempt SI - I’ve been doing hypnosis via YouTube to help getting over anxiety when I need to use my syringe and that’s a good thing considering no bloody referral on the system....

Husband has promised me he will start his diet properly in the new year so this looks my only hope until I win the lottery.

@eloiseislost keeping everything crossed it’s NOT af and if it is then hoping she arrives before the end of the year so we can drown her in a bathtub of bubbles, ha 🍾 @Makingnumber2 @Lori23TTC same goes for the two of you, lovelies. So crazy how in sync our cycles have become on here haha.

I’ve been hit by the end of year melancholy - I was planning to cozy up and relax but instead am feeling a bit low. On the plus side, I have decided to write about my MC experience and have been feeling crazy inspired - havent written this much in a while and it feels very cathartic I must say. I also ordered some face masks for at-home spa. Big love to you all.

Afternoon all, I'm sorry to hear that people are feeling a bit down today and I'm definitely feeling like I wanna chuck the healthy lifestyle out the window at the minute. @ComebackQueen I work in a department that uses an online referral system. I know it's probably a different system but with ours it takes a while to come through and the delay is even longer on non-working days because our systems shut down then. Hopefully it is something similar and just a bit delayed.

I'm 10dpo but I woke up with a slew of my usual pre-AF symptoms this morning (really bloated, 5lb weight gain overnight, cramps) so I'm not even tempted to test now. Need to order more opks, as I'm now out and want to be ready for next cycle. Also got some preseed to try next month so that's my retail therapy for the day

@ComebackQueen that's super positive that your husband is really going to knuckle down on diet from from Jan. My DH and I are also going to be doing the same! We spent some time today meal planning for our next shop so we can make sure we commit fully. I am not looking forward to a tee total time I must confess- but will all be worth it for the BFP!

Thanks @primrosechill Sorry to hear you're feeling melancholy- I always think this time between Christmas and New Year feels very flat and a bit hollow- even when we aren't in a pandemic and when I'm not TTC! It's great you're able to channel your feelings creatively though with your writing. I imagine that is very cathartic.

@Bluey18 sorry to hear the AF symptoms are showing up for you too. It's so crap!! I am going to test again tomorrow even though I know it'll say BFN... It never ceases to amaze me how irrationally I continue to POAS despite knowing full well what the result will say. I have already done my online order of more OPKs and will need to order some more cheapie PG test strips too because the last few cycles I was doing up to two tests a day for like 5 days before AF showed. Don't ask me why! Like I said- I clearly have an issue!

@Makingnumber2 I think you sound totally normal, its very hard not to get caught up with testing! I'm just trying so hard not to start POAS early because I've been down that path soooo many times and I don't cope well with seeing BFNs, it makes me sad for the whole day even though that's completely silly/irrational. I actually cope a lot better just getting AF. I probably would have cracked and done a test today only I had all those AF symptoms this morning and I just knew I was out. AF has arrived now anyway. I'm glad I'm not waiting round but I'm a bit that I only got to 10dpo, very unusual for me. Taking it as a sign 2020 was NOT my year. On to next cycle. Feeling pretty positive still, I'd never have been lucky enough for it to work first go

Ugh @Bluey18 I’m so sorry she showed. Although now you are onto a fresh new cycle and it’s another chance to get a BfP. My app is only
Predicting me a 10 day luteal phase which is also short for me- will see if it is accurate. Usually I have 12day LP maybe 13. I ovulate quite late at CD17.
Thanks for making me feel less like a POAS weirdo too! Last cycle I was a mess too after BFNs- took a mental health day from work and everything. In hindsight it was probably relentlessly seeing BFNs twice a day that tipped me over edge and I should definitely avoid that in future. TTC is definitely a rollercoaster that’s for sure!
I’ve got a good feeling about 2021 though so to the 2021 BFPs!

AF finally arrived in full force for me, bang on 4 weeks after the MC. I never thought I'd feel this way but I'm so relieved that everything seems to be working as it should. Excited about the new cycle, we are going to give it our best shot and remain hopeful! Finished work today, not going back until Tuesday so bring the wine!!! 🍷😆

Thanks @Makingnumber2, it's definitely a rollercoaster! I've everything crossed for you but if AF is on the way, I hope she gets a move on so you aren't left wondering. And I'm sorry AF got you too @eloiseislost. Cheers and bring on the 2021 BFPs

Morning all- so today is the day I said I would do my test as I didn’t want a BFN to begin 2021. I’m only 10dpo which is potentially still a bit too early but it came out BFN as I thought it might. I’m not testing again now until AF shows or is 3 or more days late. New Years resolution is to stop torturing myself with endless Preg tests. I will have to make do with going POAS crazy in fertile week with my OPKs 😂

@eloiseislost so pleased you’ve got your reset AF and I think that’s such a brilliant way of looking at it. It does show everything is ready to begin a fresh new cycle to get that BFP. Enjoy your time off and definitely enjoy the !!!

@eloiseislost welcome to the period/wine gang! @Makingnumber2 sorry you got a bfn - it’s never nice but like you said at 10dpo it’s not definitive either (I appreciate that that in itself is frustrating too!) Have a good last of the year ladies and roll on 2021 x

@DinkBoo in the absence of alcohol you should obviously celebrate with baked camembert! And chocolate.

@Makingnumber2 sorry about the BFN but you're definitely not out!

@primrosechill I always get a bit like that at new year's! This is my least favourite day of the year. Especially this year where there's no "new year new start" feeling. Nothing a bottle of prosecco and some cheese can't help! It's lovely that you're writing, I hope it helps.

@ComebackQueen sorry that you're in limbo about your referral. Hopefully it's Bluey said, it's just a system delay. I can understand not wanting to wait months to find out though. I'd be tempted to call back midway through January to double check, as you've already been told once they'd made the referral and they hadn't I think that's fair enough? But maybe I'm just not against chasing things.

Got my fingers crossed for everyone waiting for AF that you get a lovely BFP for new years instead 🤞🤞
Sorry for those joining the AF and prosecco party 🍾 here's wishing for a better 2021 for us all and BFPs all around!!

@MrsKin90 baked camembert is perpetually banned in this house, much to dh's annoyance (unbaked it has to be stored seperately to all other food and only consumed in my prolonged absence from the house).

I still haven't got any appetite back, even for chocolate and coffee still tastes gross. Currently staring at the half a bowl of plain porridge left over from my valiant attempt at breakfast.

To end on a cheerier note

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!

I hope everyone is able to eat, drink, and be merry for now , followed by a year of bfps and really boring diets

Morning everyone,

So today is SI no 4. I feel exhausted emotionally, I am not sleeping and trying to listen to calming music or a podcast but I’m so consumed with falling pregnant. I’m sure I am not the only one but it feels all consuming really. I think when I go back to work my mind will be occupied elsewhere for part of the day at least.

We are due to get married in April (postponed couple) and I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it would be to announce our news on the wedding day if we were lucky enough to fall pregnant.

I am surrounded by pregnancies in my personal life and at work. Two of my friends at work both left for mat leave on Xmas eve, 2 of my bridesmaids have had babies in the last month or so and my MOH too.

I don’t think I am going to buy any pregnancy tests (2x came in our kit we bought), I know I will become obsessed with this.

My ovulation pee stick showed ovulation yesterday but not today. According to my app tomorrow is peak time. I will keep trying with SI nonetheless.

Has anyone read Luisa Zissmans blog about conceiving and supplements? So many people are recommending this and tempted to order the DHA myself but I already take cod liver oil- so it must be similar?

How are you all feeling? I am sorry those that have had AF arrive, here’s to 2021

Sorry for ranty essay
xx

@DinkBoo I hope you find something to tempt your appetite soon. In the meantime I hope you are snuggled up with lots of blankets and a good book or podcast or netflix series and taking it easy.

@Sydney1986x sorry to hear you're feeling very consumed by it all and not sleeping. That is the absolute worst and I really sympathise because I've been there (and likely will be again). I find Headspace a really good app and also practise mindfulness daily and have done for a few years now- I find it really helps me in the day if I'm obsessing over something which is making me anxious. Night time is harder but if I've managed to keep my thoughts and anxiety in check in day it usually helps for a better night because I'm not so running on adrenalin. I also use essential lavender oil on my pillow at night and swear by it!!
I haven't read the Luiza Zissman blog about TTC- might look into it though- what exactly is DHA?! Is she a brand ambassador or something...?

The last thing I found helpful previously a few years back when in a really bad period of anxiety (not to do with TTC but job stuff) was this thing called EFT. It's essentially tapping on pressure points. I tried it out of sheer desperation as used to be v cynical about these types of things but actually I found it really helped. Whether it helped because of the pressure points or if it was more that it gave me a focus and whilst I was concentrating on doing the tapping I wasn't fixating on other things I don't know- but either way it was good. I just used a few YouTube tutorials.
Don't know if you're into/open to stuff like this and mindfulness- so sorry if you aren't and just ignore, but thought I would suggest in case it's helpful
Hope you're feeling less emotionally drained really soon