The Turkey Baster Gang (gobble gobble)

[Oilyoilyoilgob]

Just starting a new thread on self insemination before our first one locks down!

39 pages of highs and lows and THE most supportive group you could wish for if you’re starting or on a self insemination journey.

💚✨ good luck ✨💚

2020 has sucked for so many of us that I’ll be glad to see the back of it. I’m spotting today so looks like AF Is on her way. Another 22 day cycle by the looks of it. 🤨

@Nej1983 welcome to the short cycles gang! I want to look at the positives (more chances in a year!) but in reality I just obsess that something is off.

@bigsweetpotato I'm dreading Christmas as well - mostly because I know all my close family members will wish me a pregnancy because they mean well and know I want it - but instead it will probably turn me into an emotional mess.

@MrsKin90 same as you my current cycle is meant to wrap up around Boxing day - so it will be super merry or super drunken hahaha. I might also go off social media for the season. Woke up to another announcement this week. Wish there was a filter on instagram that allows you to filter out all baby posts - startup idea anyone?!

@eloiseislost it is okay to be sad ❤️ but positive pants are very handy also in my experience.

@Nej1983 that is a bit of a short cycle!! What day did you ovulate?

It's funny that so much can make us worry when ttc. We don't want short cycles or long cycles or short LPs or LPs that feel a bit too long! Is it too much to ask for a perfect 14 days each side?!

CD11 for me and was definitely panicking for no reason about ovulating early 🙄. As per usual!! No signs of O approaching but still early days for me.
Will be hoping and praying for BFPs for everyone in time for Christmas...what a hard time of year for lots of reasons!

@primrosechill a "filter that out" option would be good!! I actually don't think I'll ever want to announce on SM when we get pregnant as I know how sad it can make other people! It's going to get worse as we get closer to Christmas isn't it? 😕

Morning, hope you're all OK? Looks like I'm out again this month. There's been spotting for a couple of days, which seems to be getting stronger and redder, and last night I had my usual pre af headache. Pretty gutted, but hey, such is life.

Trying to cheer myself up by making a plan. We said in the new year if we weren't successful, we'd seek medical advice due to my age (i was 36 in the early summer). I'm going to have a see what my private heathcare through work is all about (I suspect GPS and the NHS in general will be pretty busy right now with covid/vaccination). In the meantime, I'm switching from ss ttc vits, to the bog standard fa from boots. I've not really had any cm since taking ss, and I don't like how it's meant to "regulate hormones" so I'm moving away from them and going back to basics. Might also look into getting some of that pre-seed incase my cm doesn't come back quickly enough for this cycle.

I bought a voucher for a tattoo/piercing shop during this 2nd lockdown. Think I'm going to book in for an ear piercing to cheer myself up/Christmas present!

Haven't told my husband yet, think he might be quite gutted 😢 Here's to 2021! May it be kinder on us all! X

So AF showed this morning :( and for whatever reason I had a complete and total meltdown about it this morning about it even though I've been pretty calm all month and knew there was a chance that I'd missed ovulation... TTC is so tiring isn't it?!?! 😭

@Birchybirch I'm sorry you think you're out ☹️ I've stopped telling my hubby when I start spotting and wait until AF starts properly as mine has stopped started a few times and caused false hope for us both!! Get a tattoo or a piercing and looking into your options might make you feel better!! At least you'll have a course of action to follow??

@bigsweetpotato so sorry AF got you. It's normal to be so upset no matter how chilled you were. TTC is absolutely shattering!

Lots of hugs to you both! ❤️

@MrsKin90 ah thank you! I told him when he came downstairs this morning. Couldn't help but get a little upset when I did. Our docs has an app where you can fill out a form for a bit of a consultation. Never tried it before, got a bit upset when I was filling it in, but feel a little more optimistic now I've got the ball rolling. It says they should get back to me in the next 2 days, but I'll maybe give them a little longer to make allowances for covid chaos.

Ah @bigsweetpotato sorry to hear you've been so upset. I know we all handle things differently, but if it helps, my plan tonight is to have a long hot shower, crank my music up loud and have a cry/sing I think.

Letting myself feel sad today, but hopefully will be feeling more positive by the weekend. I guess if there was any doubts about whether I want kids, there is now certainly no denying I do!

Hope you're all ok? X

@MrsKin90 I ovulated on day 11 on this cycle when I went for IUI’s they triggered ovulation for day 9. My lining is thick enough which is good news but I was worried about the cycle being short. The FS we were dealing with said that anywhere from day 20/21 is ok which was a relief. I use to be bang on the regular 28 days so I’m guessing it’s getting shorter with age

@bigsweetpotato I'm so sorry AF got you and the meltdown is totally normal, we've all been there! Allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling. TTC is torture, because it feels like you're battling against impossible odds with no reassurance about the outcome. You are incredibly resilient and strong for even putting yourself through the process! Virtual hugs 🤗

@bigsweetpotato I’m so sorry AF showed her ugly face. You’d think we’d get more used to it by now but it doesn’t get any easier, does it? @Birchybirch let us know how you get on in the final days of the cycle.

I’m sorry to be a downer but is anyone else feeling fairly pessimistic about SI? I got pregnant this way once but it ended in a MC and I can’t seem but feel like so many on here have had a similar experience. I desperately want to have my positive pants on but it just feels like the statistics are not helping at all. Is this method working for us? I know anecdotally it does but in reality we’ve had what? ONE successful pregnancy out of 6/7 in the past few months? (@DinkBoo) I just feel deflated...

Do you want to hear something crazy? I just got offered a massive job promotion that I should be thrilled about but the reason I got it so quickly was because not one but TWO women on the team got pregnant in the past few months. It feels so bittersweet to know that my “success” has been accelerated because two people managed to get the one thing I dream of the most... fuck, it just really makes you wonder: “as women, will we ever stop being jealous of what other women have?”

Wowza, what a debbie downer - I’m sorry. Someone tell me something uplifting, please?!

@primrosechill I'm using a donor, he's helped 7 women over the last two years and none of them took more than three cycles to fall pregnant via SI - he does have an exceptionally high sperm count which probably helps, but SI definitely works! I don't know what the statistics are for SI vs the good old fashioned method but I don't think they're drastically different.

Totally relate to doing well at work due to being the only one not having a baby too, I've recently gotten a bonus due to covering workload for a colleague going on mat leave. I've also been primed for promotion into a role where the woman who used to manage the department is now only working part time after her mat leave. The money is great and the chance to progress in my career is nice too but I'd rather give up the bonus and opportunities and be in my colleagues' positions, enjoying maternity leave or part time hours with my baby. It will be our turn one day!

Also... congrats on your promotion! Think of it this way, it's great that you're establishing your career before baby comes along!

@primrosechill Have we had as many as 6-7 pregnancies lately?
Obviously as I'm going through a miscarriage right now, I too can't help but think whether it was the method's fault. But I know of healthy babies that were born because of that method and that gives me some comfort. Having said that, even if the miscarriage rates are higher when you self inseminate, I know for us there is no other way: delayed ejaculation, the NHS won't offer us IVF/IUI unless we've been trying for a year, we can't afford to go private. So my attitude is work with what you have and hope for the best!
Also, as frustrating as it sounds, the rate of miscarriages are estimated to be anywhere from 20-25% so they are not that low for the general population either. Miscarriage rates from IVF/IUI are even higher. It sucks but it's the reality.
I know this probably doesn't make you feel any better but my advice would be to not add any more stress to TTC, it's already excruciating enough.

Congratulations on your promotion, it is a big thing and a great achievement, regardless of the circumstances! I know exactly how you feel, so many women at work are pregnant right now and it's killing me. You hit the nail in the head there, we always want what we don't have, I think that's just human nature. Today we got approved for a mortgage for our dream home, which is huge and we hope to fill with kids. Meanwhile I'm bleeding out our first one. I'm sure couples less fortunate than us would be jealous of our house, but I'd rather I had the baby and lived in a tiny flat. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@restingwitchface86 @eloiseislost thank you for talking some sense into me... Eloise, when I said “6/7” I meant there is roughly as many of us on this thread who post regularly and who still struggle to get pregnant but also reality is between you, myself, Adrianna, and Oily it does also seem like the MC rate is high ☹️ but I know I also see what I choose to see and right now I just feel negative. And you are spot on - I know SI is the only method for you and equally (though for other reasons - vaginismus) it’s in many ways the only method for myself. I’m trying to keep positive but it’s hard at times.

I’ve decided to just go with the flow and accept that my promotion was just a sign that things were meant to happen in a certain sequence this year. Also, last time I got promoted I also got pregnant within a week so maybe it’s a good omen 😂

@eloiseislost congrats on your mortgage application - hope you get to grow a family you’re dreaming of in that house asap ❤️ 🏡

I'm sorry so many of you are having a really crappy time at the moment

@primrosechill I'm not sure if it's reassuring or not, but we didn't actually use SI, and we lost one of two early on and have had a very constantly fingers crossed time hoping the other sticks around. Which may in part explain why I'm here at 20 past 4

Sadly/hopefully I think it's just ttc and early pregnancy, and we forget how common it is to struggle and have losses, as so few people talk about it openly. Especially in the first trimester. Then we come to a space where everyone feels safe to share and suddenly it seems like we're place where disappointment is normal and we forget the difference isn't the extent of the suffering, but the expression of it.

@eloiseislost I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you are feeling as well as you possibly can physically and emotionally.

And congratulations on promotions and dream home!

I'm glad 2020 hasn't been all shite.

@primrosechill Ah I see what you mean now about the numbers. It's true that in our sample, things don't look great, but it's a tiny sample. We are also different ages and have different medical and social histories. So it's very risky to try and draw any conclusions.
Having said that, I get how you feel. I think we all try to make sense of TTC because ultimately it is so random and cruel at times.
At least we have each other here, in this safe space, and we can talk about anything in our minds, our fears and struggles. I knew TTC would be hard and I thought it would be lonely. Turns out I was wrong about the latter. ❤️ 😉

@primrosechill I absolutely know where you're coming from as I've had the same thoughts. ☹️😳 I've got a bit of a 'what is the point if I'm just going to get pregnant and miscarry like everyone else anyway'? (I know it's not everyone and is quite a callous way of expressing it).

Along with those on this thread I know three people in real life who have had miscarriages since we started trying/in a year. Two were standard conception and one was medicated IUI. So my feelings are it's less the method and more just life!! Congratulations on your promotion, hopefully it's a sign luck has turned and you're in for more good news before the end of the year!
@eloiseislost congratulations on your mortgage! Hopefully that's a sign too of happier times to come.

If nothing else it's nice to not be completely alone with this TTC rubbish and have all you lovely people to talk to!

Hi, there's not really much I can add to the convo except to say congratulations on the house @eloiseislost, and the promotion @primrosechill. I don't know how life works, I wish I did, but maybe these promotions and new houses were meant to come 1st, and the babies will follow shortly... 🤞

Today I learnt to sense check work emails as I should not refer to "next month" as "next cycle" 😱😳😂

@MrsKin90 I make this mistake all the time!! 🤣 Especially because my cycles are shorter than a month and I constantly think in cycles. Not done it in a work email yet but now that you said it, I'm going to be extra vigilant!

@primrosechill congratulations on your promotion... I’m sorry you are feeling negative I am too this month. I’m just feeling really sick and tired of everything! I’m annoyed at my partner that he has ED (but can’t express that to him as technically not his fault) and I just want to have normal sex, take ttc out of it I just want to be intimate with him but since ttc he just can’t do it at all now and I feel like it’s really effecting me... not sure how to even talk to him as he gets all shitty with me if I even ask to do something 🤷‍♀️ I feel like this could effect us more than I first thought. I’ve only really started feeling like this this month when I got my period. Does anyone else get like this?? Or am I just a bad person for thinking this 😬 x

@eloiseislost congrats on the mortgage I’m glad you have something to smile about with the new house. Lots of memories to be made x

@Lori23TTC I'm sorry you're feeling so down. I do have this frustration. I'm very jealous of people who can get pregnant just by having sex normally. You're not a bad person and not alone!

This is way TMI and might not be helpful at all so ignore me if it is 😳 but to avoid the lack of intimacy and making husband feel like a sperm delivery man, we always incorporate our intimacy into SI and just finish at the end into a cup with me... helping? Sorry if this is something you have tried or wouldn't want to try, but it's just that it seems to work for us so thought I'd mention it. We've worked so hard to get to a happy place with our sex life and if it wasn't for TTC I wouldn't be bothered at all about him not finishing during intercourse, and I wasn't willing to ruin that for TTC 😕

Not being able to fix things is the worst.
☹️ I'm sorry he's not willing to talk about it either as that's not helpful!