Tits out, chin up and ❤️ yourself - TTC Bus 19

[Juno231]

Come join us on our TTC journeys - all you need is a sense of humour!

Bus history:
June - 24 BFPs
July - 11 BFPs
August - 18 BFPs
September - 4 BFPs

October BFPs so far:
@blackcurrantqueen - Oct 5th
@mrsbear1122 - Oct 12th
@savethechubbyunicorns - Oct 13th

Testing dates:
@adogisforlife - October 17th
@pebblesinthesand - October 17th
@mosherchick - October 18th
@Vil10 - October 21st
@ladybird345 - October 22nd
@lucyrp - October 22nd
@Franklydear - October 25th
@Kay00 - October 25th
@Juno231 - October 26th
@dsr87 - October 28th
@clairey844 - October 30th
@notyetamumbuttrying - October 31st
@katao - November 1st
@2020mission - November 2nd
@nestinginNL - November 18th
@Hopeful110 - November 22nd

@lucyrp Sorry about the BFN hun! Sending you lots of love xxx

I’m feeling pretty down this morning, my pre AF cramps are in full force and I feel exactly the way I do before my period so I can’t even kid myself that I have a chance this month- just waiting for the witch to arrive. 2 years and still nothing is depressing me :(

@Gem176 I couldn't be watched by a dog! Or a child 😂🤣😳

@LaceyMermaid well I hope it doesn't take long this time either!

@lucyrp 😡😔😳😩

Too much to catch up on and toddler being a wotsit this morning...we are going swimming with our friend & her boy & im still on AF! 5 days! Unheard of. And not just a bit too. It can do one now 😝

@AmesK thanks, month 15 now getting fed up too. Xx

@Franklydear I think so yes. Was feeling hopeful for the first time since July and that's gone out of the window now

@Minster2012 not sure I’ll be repeating this experiment next month!

@lucyrp Aww hun, I’m in the exact same boat- bloody frustrating and I’ve found even the littlest things set me off- I can’t even watch any adverts to do with babies or pregnancy or anything and I just found I spend so much of my time avoiding things for fear of setting me off.
I hope next month is your month hun! You deserve it!! Xxx

@AmesK I'm getting really angry with my body, it worked like it should before and then in may I had a chemical and it's been fucked up since. Thought it would have worked itself out by now but my cycles are so long and irregular every time. My friends got a baby, other friend is giving birth in November and then my OH best friend has just had a baby too so I'm surrounded. First time I held OH friend baby I cried. Xx

@lucyrp Hun, I’m really really sorry you’re going through all this! That sounds completely shit and I definitely understand your anger at your body. I’m sorry about the chemical and it’s frustrating when things get thrown off course like that :(

And yes, I completely understand why you cried! It’s very difficult being in this position, when you want something so much and you’re in the waiting game. I see so many people around me getting pregnant at the drop of a hat and I’m finding it very hard to deal with. Which makes me hate myself because I’m behaving like a horrible jealous person and I shouldn’t be but I just get overwhelmed ( I’ve obviously not said anything horrible to anyone but I don’t like myself for these feelings of jealousy). I don’t know if that makes sense and now I’m worried you will judge me

Apologies as I haven’t read the whole thread but have you seen your doctor yet? Maybe they can give some insight into when your cycles will start behaving? Xxx

@LaceyMermaid it's awful isn't it! Are you primary or secondary? I'm secondary and just feel like collateral damage.

@Hopeful110 hmm weird. Did you say you temped this month? So confusing isn't it!

@Juno231 aww thank you haha. Just my phone camera! Love it.

@lucyrp it must be so frustrating going from normal cycles to really irregular ones :( hopefully your referral with happen soon x

@AmesK no judgement! We're all feeling like that on some level I think x

@Newbie0818 I’m primary. Less chance of catching covid I think although I have teenagers and my year 11 son just been sent home again due to a confirmed case. Second time this half term. No idea how you are supposed to get them through GCSEs when they’ve missed 6 months in year 10 and now looking at constant isolation periods at home! Primary just so stressful, same room all day with same kids, can’t mix with anyone else so feels very lonely!

@AmesK I've been on the buses since may, we've been ttc since august last year when I came off the contraceptive injection (I'd been on it for 3 years since I had to have a termination with my current partner, I already have a DS with a previous partner and he's now 5) which I know can take a while to leave your system but my cycles returned by Christmas time and were regular dor 4 cycles ans then I had a 7 week long one because I had W chemical. Then I had a 72 day cycle, 47 day cycle and I'm currently on day 45. Been battling with shit doctors and shit midwifes since may trying to get answers and hoping that the next cycle will be back to my regular 30 days. 6 months have passed and I've only had 3 cycles. Been tracking bbt this cycle and it's all over the place doesn't help at all. Tried using opks but because j never know how long the cycle is it stresses me out and I've had day 21 bloods done and I obviously didn't ovulate bt that point because I'm on a long cycle. My bbt picked up ovulation but it's been all over the shop since so doesn't look like I actually did. Who knows if I even ovulate! I have a lot of people on Facebook popping up larelt announcing they're pregnant and only one the other day posted her pregnancy announcement with a 7 week scan! And yes j have spoken to doctors as I mentioned above and I'm currently awaiting a referral to a fertility clinic which could take 6 weeks or more who knows. Sorry for the essay but just thought I'd give you a quick explanation as you're new here but sorry to everyone else who's heard me moaning for the last 6 months xx

@Newbie0818 I've about lost the plot honestly. Managed to stay relaxed until now and today I'm so upset. I've had constant eye twitching for the last 3 weeks every day all day in the same eye so just had to ring the doctors again to ask about thag as I'm stressing about what that could he. Probably stress related ! Xx

Honestly today I'm just having a break down😫

I'm jealous of all your beautiful dogs 😍 I'm actually thinking now that I'm working from home and have been since March, I really could get a dog. Going out to work was the only thing stopped me before but it might become the norm to be working remotely in the future... and if no baby is coming then I need a dog baby instead 😆

@lucyrp 😥 would love to stretch out and give u a hug huni. Send loads of love to u 💕

@akc88 yes I've an 11 and 10yr old. Had a mmc 4wks ago and surgical management 3wks ago. 😭 but not letting that stop me. I'm 40 too so not much time left lol

@lucyrp Aww Hun, you’ve really been round the houses eh? Sending you lots of good vibes! I’m sorry you’ve had a shit time with the doctors and midwives, it’s very frustrating when you just want answers. They need to sit down and work out your cycles with you properly, even if that just means pinpointing roughly when you’re supposed to ovulate so you can get the blood test done and get an idea (sounds like they’re just doing day 21 arbitrarily at the moment!)

At least you’re waiting on the fertility clinic although yes, it’s annoying to now hear you might have to wait another 6 weeks! I’m really sorry that it’s been such a palava. I’m gonna keep my fingers crossed that your cycles regulate and that actually, when the appointment comes you can just ring up and say no thanks, I’m already 6 weeks pregnant 💓😊 xxx

Hey, so I think I need someone to help give my head a wobble. I'm currently on CD13 of a 29 day cycle. I say 29, apparently that's my average 🤷🏼‍♀️ I range between 27-31. I used to be regular to within a couple of hours but the pat 6 months they're like this ⬆️. It's my second cycle of TTC this time. Last month I assume I had a chemical as I got a faint positive on a clear blue, 4 days before AF was roughly due...AF ended up being 4 days late. I'm now using that premom ovulation app with a boots OP kit, and I don't like where my head is at. I'm on it all the time and I feel like I'm getting obsessed. My youngest is here with me and I should be enjoying him and not on that app. I'm working full time from home and I have things I really need to do but instead I'm on the app. I never intended for this journey to be this way....and I need to pull back a little 😔 and just go with the flow.

@2alreadywantanother thanks I really feel like I just want to go back to bed today 😔 got the next 3 days off with my DS and don't want to be feeling down in the dumps because il just be on here or my fermometer app or rhr trying to figure out what's happening. Told OH I'm upset today so hopefully he'll be understanding when he gets home. Thank you 💗

@AmesK yeah I have while this last 6 months feels like forever it also feels like a bit of a whirlwind at the same time. The doctors have been reluctant to help and when I had my chemical and the month after the midwives were so rude and off handish because I'm young, "go and have a pint" is one of the phrases she used. That's what I've been hoping for what seems like forever. I thought this month could be lucky but no 😔thanks for the love xxx💓

@lucyrp. Stay strong lovely. You got this and will get your bfp x

@lucyrp so sorry you're feeling so rubbish honey. You'll defo get that bfp soon, I'm sure of it!

Hey giiiiirllls how are we all doing?? Sorry I've been MIA literally after I messaged my phone was always dying since we were out every day till yesterday evening! What have I missed? I did see a few messages prior sorry for my late reply as its been a few days!

@Skip86 I'm really sorry you're going through this, I woukd hope that if you are pregnant that your partner would come round to the idea and perhaps he's just scared to be hurt and scared for you to be hurt again? I hope everything works out for you xx

@notyetamumbuttrying how are you lovely?? I was confident and got drunk and didn't give an efffff actually I looked pretty damn good haha x

@Minster2012 sorry you're having a long af!! Blood periods who would have them!

I am cd28 todayyyy so if I ovulated on cd15 I would be due af tomorrow I think but I don't know when i ovulated this cycle so sometime this week will do. Holding some hope that I could be pregnant? But obviously no symptoms, started getting af cramps yesterday sooo who knows :( would be nice to finally get a bfp though 😬😬😬😬 xx

@lucyrp sorry you're feeling shit, I totally totally get you. This is the hardest journey by far 😬 and I know what it's like to have the memory of a termination as well I feel like that really wreaks havok when you're struggling to concieve especially when it's with your now partner. There's nothing I can say to make you feel better, but we are all here and a few of us are having a shit time with it so we can all support each other and moan to each other lol xx

@Joanna1009 oi - snap out of it! . No but seriously you seem super fertile if you already caught first cycle AND you have a DC already - I'd perhaps delete the app and go au naturale the next few cycles so you don't obsess about it? Sounds like you'd get another BFP this cycle anyway at this rate!

@lucyrp I'm sorry you're feeling crap, I can't even imagine the mind f* this must be.

@2020mission I'm thinking the same! Was thinking a greyhound rescue as they're super lazy so don't really need walks, they just sleep all day (plus there's LOADS of them as the racing courses keep discarding them). That way I don't have to feel too bad even on the days where I do have to go into the office.

@2020mission oh my god I'm getting puppy broody too 😂 think I'm trying to shift some of the broodiness somewhere 😂
@Joanna1009 check your phone settings and see if you can set a time limit for the app. I know what it's like, I do the same and just get lost in ttc apps ans Google and am trying to pull back a bit now as its draining my timecand energy.
@lucyrp sorry about the bfn and that you are having a bad day. I know it's not easy with lockdown but maybe try to make some plans for your few days off with ds. Do something crafty at home or reorganize a room or something to distract yourself 😘
@Missgoldilocks sending buckets of baby dust your way....so so hope this is your time 😃

@Runnergirl1 thanks it just seems so far away x

@notyetamumbuttrying once I'm in a bad mood I find it hard to snap out of it so hoping OH is understanding tonight and not grumpy because I'm grumpy otherwise thag will make me worse😔 have 3 days off with DS too and find it hard to find things to entertain him never mind when I'm down x

@Missgoldilocks honestly I thought I've been doing so well so far and I'd kind of got to the fuck it stage and I tried not to care but I just can't do it. I can remain relaxed for 90% of the time and then I find something I can obsess over for a bit then it goes tits up and I'm upset and back to square one again. OH and I joke that I'm broken and he says jot to worry that its jot happening it will happen soon but I do wonder what he really feels like about it all. Must be draining for him too. I do wonder about him sometimes if he has suddenly got low testosterone or something or if he's just as fed up as I am because we don't seem to be having as much sex as usual. I wear a ring every day to remember our baby as it was a difficult situation and we talk about them all the time and get upset because what if they were the only baby we could have. Il attach a pic of my ring just because x

@Juno231 you're telling me 🙄😩

@Katao going to have a nature walk or some sort if I can drag him out but that's a mission in itself he runs around for 5 minutes and is then tired and wants to go home 🤣 actually might move his bedroom around as I've wanted to do that for a while. I re decorated the bathroom with just bits and bobs for storage to keep my mind busy a couple of weeks ago. I wanted to get some fitted wardrobes for the spare room so bad so I have storage for all of my jumpers but don't want to incase I actually get pregnant by some miracle as thag will be babies room. On thag note does anyone have any storage tips for woolly jumpers ??

@2020mission totally get a dog ! I got a kitten in July to distract myself 😂