TTC 35+ Thread 4 Cougar and Silver Fox Club

[Sleeeeeepy]

Yes it's Thread FOUR! Baby dust all round!

@claireb707 @Hocuspocusandfairies @SnowWhite1985 - With you on the life choices and general craziness thing.

I look back just a few years and wonder WHY I didn't find out more about the whole picture - and maybe get the right tests every 6-12 months, so at least I was monitoring my ageing process.

The truth is, I've never known much about any of it and completely winged it until now - so all this new knowledge is crushing me with anxiety and regret. But at the same time, it helps to know; and at least I'm investigating now (and not a year from now).

I feel that I need to get through this phase of feeling particularly worried and stressed about it, then focus on being positive about taking action - both natural and assisted, probably.

The other issue is whether to discuss it with others. I really can't bear to have people feeling sorry for me...! I think it would make me feel worse.

@Elspethelf congratulations- wonderful news!

Congratulations @Elspethelf! So happy for you!

Congratulations @Elspethelf that's lovely news!

So today's the day we get OH further test results looking into his low count 😬 counting down the hours until we get our phone consult!

Congratulations @Elspethelf !

Well AF arrived in full force this morning. I’m disappointed of course, but also glad it’s finally arrived this month so I can move on to a new cycle. I’m feeling rotten today, worse than normal (which is normally pretty awful). Weird AF symptom I’ve never had before - I genuinely thought I was going to vomit in the bathroom this morning. I was incredibly queasy and nauseous. Has anyone ever had this with AF before? Today is going to be a total write off for me as I feel so ill. On the plus side I guess I can now rebook my 2-4 day hormone test for later this week which will be my GP tests completed.
@CC81 yeah it’s amazing how little we know / how little we’re taught about our own bodies. I guess they’re too busy putting the fear of pregnancy in us as teenagers that they fail to mention all this other stuff! Like you I think I need to try and move past all the stressing and take the action needed. I guess once we get all our test results back I’ll (hopefully) know what that action is. Regarding telling others, I don’t think I can! Maybe it would help to have some real life support but I honestly think for me it would make it worse. Collective disappointment is worse than secret disappointment! I’m incredibly close to my mum so I feel horrible not telling her but adding her disappointment and worry into the mix would just intensify everything so much more. I already worry enough on my own!

@SnowWhite1985 - Sorry to hear about AF. It's just so crap. But onwards and upwards. I felt the same when I had my weird cycle... at least you know where you're up to. And yes, I've had nausea and general horribleness with mine - I think the stress makes everything worse.

Re: "Collective disappointment is worse than secret disappointment!" // "adding her disappointment and worry into the mix would just intensify everything so much more." - THIS IS EXACTLY ME.

I don't want others looking at me with worry (or pity), especially if this journey doesn't lead anywhere. It would actually increase my stress. I need respite from my own overthinking and don't want to be defined by this.

I might secretly tell one friend about it, if I seek treatment, as she's a completely non-judging type and has been through IVF (successful second try). But not sure yet. It's too soon.

I'm trying to be strict and actively distract myself from this subject for particular times of the day. Not being terribly successful so far, but will keep trying...

@CC81 I've been trying since November last year with a two month break when covid hit.

Congratulations @Elspethelf wonderful news!

All a bit quiet today... how are we all?

I'm trying not to think too much about TTC this month. Off camping today and we're in the midst of selling and buying a house, so my mind is pretty focused elsewhere at the moment 😬

@Elspethelf great news. Congratulations!!!

@selina37 I’m in a lull in my cycle. I usually ovulate day 14 but I’m now day 17 and only just starting to see a little colour on my opk sticks so hopefully ovulate Friday or Saturday. Really struggled this month. My poor OH has been super stressed with work exams so don’t even know what we’ll manage. Dtd Sunday but I have no idea if we’ll manage again, just need to wait and see. Not wanting to put any pressure on him and it’s hard to focus on it being about us and not about making a baby. I don’t want it to become a chore so if he’s super stressed this month, I think we’ll wait and try again next month.

Congratulations @Elspethelf fab news.
All ok here have had a couple of down days because we were really making the effort to dtd this month but the last couple of days we havnt because dp has been out and just so happened it was when i got my peak Day 16 now so going to remain positive and get back to it lol!
Hope you are all good ladies x

@Elspethelf - That's great. Did you have any tests or anything?

I'm on CD8, so time to start DTD every other day (in line with SMEP). Also started the daily OPKs.

I'm worried that this cycle might go weird because I've been so bloody stressed about this sodding FSH test result!!!

Got my phonecall with the GP tomorrow afternoon, to discuss the test result. DREADING IT, as I know it'll be depressing. But once it's over I'll try to focus on other things, until my private tests in September.

@CC81 - good luck this cycle! I’m trying my best to relax too (I’m a bit behind you on CD2) since last cycle was so weird and out of sync. Easier said than done though! Im wondering if I should go on some sort of fertility diet - want to maximise chances lol. Im also waiting for progesterone test results this week (have call with the fertility nurse on Friday) and I’m getting my day3 hormone tests tomorrow. What’s SMEP? Hopefully the GP will give you some helpful info tomorrow - it might put your mind at rest rather than being depressing 🤗

Congratulations @Elspethelf !! That's such lovely news, please send us your baby dust!x

@Elspethelf - congrats! Lovely news.

@SnowWhite1985 @CC81 good luck for your tests and results. I know it’s easier said than done but hope the appointments bring some positive news/relief and don’t stress you out too much.

I had a weird period this month - not that I’ve had many since off Mirena, but still don’t know what’s normal! Much lighter spotting than usual before it started, one day of moderate flow, one day of light and then that seems to be it!
1st acupuncture session on Friday (and no plans for the evening in case it sparks an emotional release!). I’ll let you know how it goes

Well we didn't get good news yesterday. Seems IVF is now our only option which as OH already has a child from a previous relationship we have to fund ourselves and right now that's not an option.
They want to repeat his SA again for a third time I'm not sure what they are expecting to see and then talk to us again in 2 months at which point she'll point is in the direction of clinics in our area that can help us further. I'm just feeling like life is pretty unfair at the minute as they can't give us a definitive answer as to why his SA is so bad as everything else came back normal. I'm trying to stay strong as OH feels awful as he is the issue but inside my heart is breaking 💔

So sorry @Hayley19835, you’re right, that seems so unfair.

@SnowWhite1985 this is SMEP... spermmeetseggplan.com/smep-step-by-step/

CD12/2DPO here. We have been trying to follow SMEP most months but couldn’t DTD last night as we both felt under the weather and like you said @LT103, we don’t want it to become a chore...

We did manage on CD8 and CD10 when I had my peak and will give it w go this evening too.

We’re both absolutely broken exhausted and stressed this last couple of weeks with works going on at our house so really not feeling it this month! I don’t hold out much hope this cycle. Never mind... baby dust to all Golden Ovaries!

Sorry you're going through this @Hayley19835. I've been in your situation and my DH has low sperm parameters and nhs consultants weren't interested in investing him any further.
However we did follow things up and found out he was suffering from a varicocele and had this operated on and took a whole load of vitamins and his sperm has improved dramatically.
My DH was also suffering from prostatitis which was dealt with antibiotics.
So do speak to your gp and ask him to refer your DH to a urologist to investigate further because the fertility clinic won't do it.
I do think it's worth looking into and remedying.

@FridaKFangirl so unfair they don't consider people's mental health in this situation at all! Luckily I have a strong support network around me or could be a different story! xx

Thank you @Dia12 can I ask what vitamins he was taking? He's had a testicular scan and that's all come back clear so we know there's nothing structurally wrong. Also had genetic bloods and they are all clear aswell. He's been taking Wellman Conception but they have made no difference to his count at all xx

@Hayley19835, I’m so sorry to hear this bad news. I feel awful for you. Perhaps it’s good they’re doing a third test, just to be sure. It seems really unfair that you’re excluded from NHS coverage because your OH already has a child when you don’t. I didn’t realise that was the rule! Our health region doesn’t cover IVF at all, it’s one of those anomalies in the system. We may have to move next year though for my DPs work so it might actually be a good thing to move to an area where it is covered. The rules seem so arbitrary! Is there nothing they can do to improve your DPs SA issue other than IVF? I thought there were like midway options of insemination. I know nothing about this though - I’ve read so much about women’s issues and not so much about men’s. @Dia12 Seems to have some good advice.

Thanks, @FridaKFangirl! not sure how I missed this resource lol, I thought I’d googled everything about ttc! Thankfully it’s pretty much what we do each cycle anyway, except I have to push the start date of the “every other day” schedule back to at least day 6 or 7 as I usually ovulate on CD10-12. We’re not always consistent in when we DTD - whether it’s every other day or every day or at weird times, but I’m presuming that doesn’t matter too much as long as it’s frequent in the fertile window? It’s hard to keep up the stamina each cycle isn’t it! Our energy levels really fluctuate too. Sometimes it feels like a big effort! Then one day last cycle DP wanted to DTD twice in one day 🤣 didn’t make any difference though 😭 I guess all the stars have to align for a good lucky cycle

@mouldygrapes my AFs have gotten so much shorter too. One day of hell then another lighter day then that’s basically it! No complaints on that from my perspective but I was worried it might be a bad sign for fertility. I asked my doctor but she said it was normal. I’m a bit worried about the tests / test results this week but also just want to know what the situation is. My DP seems to be putting off booking his SA, so will need to lightly encourage him to also do that soon! Good luck with your acupuncture session - can’t wait to hear how it went!

That's great that your DH has the all clear in that respect. Have you checked for prostatitis?
My DH took proxceed, Ubiquinol, pine bark extract and vit D.
Otherwise he's quite healthy, doesn't drink/smoke etc.
Good luck xx

Congratulations @Elspethelf I’m thrilled for you! Glad you have your BFP!

@Hayley19835 I’m so sorry you have had this news. It also seems really unfair that funded IVF isn’t an option for you. I think it must be a postcode thing. Don’t lose heart, although I know it’s tough. My DH has a low count and I’ve fallen pregnant twice. I remember how upset I was when the consultant told us that based on our results it could take “many years” to fall pregnant naturally and that IVF was our best option. I was 34 at the time. But we did fall pregnant naturally, before starting the IVF process. My friends husband also had a low count and they have two lovely boys. Good you have a strong support network and good you are able to share on here too.

@Hayley19835 sorry to hear that. Do you have a copy of the results or know what parameters were low?