TTC 35+ Thread 4 Cougar and Silver Fox Club

[Sleeeeeepy]

Yes it's Thread FOUR! Baby dust all round!

Best of luck, @Keepeas - At least you know it’s possible for you and your DP to conceive , so hopefully you’ll have a BFP soon! 🤗
Sometimes I get really low thinking I’ll never be a mother 😭 it just feels like a massive lottery with so much uncertainty. I feel so depressed whenever I think that I might just have to face up to it never happening for us. It doesn’t help with friends and family constantly pointing out that we shouldn’t have left it so late. My DP doesn’t seem to think like that. He REALLY wants to be a dad but he also seems to be able to switch off from the emotions of it potentially never happening. He’s kindof just like “if it happens it happens” and says we can’t change the way things are. He also doesn’t seem to have the deep regret of not trying earlier that I find totally overwhelming and all consuming at times. I guess we all just have to stay hopeful, otherwise it’s a bit of a downward spiral, mental health wise. Sorry for the Friday night downer 😭 just feel like we’ve done everything right almost every cycle then it’s just constant disappointment. Perhaps AF is about to arrive and that’s why I feel so depressed.

@Keepeas hope the smear goes well. We are so lucky to have the screening programme even if it’s not the most enjoyable experience. It’s so great that people are so honest on here. Nice to know others are in a similar position to me! It’s understandable to feel anxious and frustrated.

@SnowWhite1985 it’s not a downer! It’s good to be honest and get things off your chest. I wish I had done that more when we were struggling to conceive DS1. I didn’t tell anyone what was going on. There are days when you feel more positive and days when it all seems impossible. It’s good to be real.

My husband didn’t really give the impression he was having issues with our struggle for DS1 and one night I found him crying in our spare room because he thought it would never be a nursery. He felt things more deeply than I realised.

Baby dust to all. Really hope I get to see your BFPs!

I don’t know if we will ever have a second. But I have been pregnant twice and have one lovely almost 2 year old despite fertility issues so need to be thankful and hopeful.

Thanks @Highlandmama - I think you make a good point about hiding feelings (also so sweet that your husband was so moved by it emotionally!) Occasionally my DP shows that he’s feeling thing a lot more deeply than it otherwise appears. Just sometimes feels lonely, I guess - hence why this group is so amazing!! I am up and down in terms of positivity / depression. Yesterday I felt good and today I feel horrible. I just took a pregnancy test just now - not a good idea when I’m feeling low, but I’m my own worst enemy! Anyway, it was BFN as I anticipated (CD27, 13DPO). I don’t even feel that upset about it, as I’m so used to getting BFNs now.
It must be hard going through a tough fertility journey more than once. I’ve always wanted a big family but now conceiving even one child seems inconceivable sometimes. Just have to try and stay hopeful and positive.

@Keepeas @highlandmama I had my smear a couple of weeks back too. Figured I may as well get everything done at once! It’s always worrying and stressful and uncomfortable but best to get it out of the way. I have to say I actually liked wearing a mask for it as it made me feel less self conscious 😂

@JustOneMore39 - Amazing news, congrats!

@Keepeas - I feel very similar to you. We were very lucky to conceive our first child immediately when I was 35.

@SnowWhite1985 - When did you last have tests? You're a few years younger than me, so your eggs are probably in better shape. It's so frustrating that stress seems to be a factor - this is one of the most stressful things I've ever been through!

Does anyone here have a high FSH level?

I got some test results back yesterday and FREAKED OUT :(

My day 21 test (progesterone, full blood screen) was completely normal.

But my day 3 test showed an FSH of 15.9, which they described as "slightly high".

I know that below 10 is ideal, while 10-15 can indicate minor problems... and over 15 can mean a diminished ovarian reserve (i.e. fewer eggs) - not untreatable, but a factor. Over 20 means treatment is very unlikely to work.

I'm glad it's borderline (only JUST over 15), but it has still scared me! :(

We've booked a set of private tests at a private clinic in September, as apparently AMH/AFC etc. are more reliable. Then we'll discuss treatment options.

But we'll still keep trying naturally too - as everything else appears to be normal.

If I do have fewer eggs, I guess the main message is to get a move on, which was my plan anyway. But I'm scared about having low-quality eggs too (I know there's no test for that).

Anyone had a similar experience?

Its so nice to hear others stories, it does ease the loneliness of trying for a baby later in life. Im so lucky that I had my son at 32 after just 3 cycles. However, the guilt I have at starting so late in life, pangs me every day. I so want him to have a sibling, my heart aches. I do wonder if this will ever happen even though I've no actual reason for it not to happen apart from my age against me.

After many days of low results on CB advanced digital ovulation test I for my flashing smiley yesterday and my static today.

My husband really wants another baby too but doesn't know I'm military planning it, he thinks it will just happen! Men eh!! Anyway, I don't want to put pressure on him as we have been dtd every other day, however last day was Wednesday as he is exhaustedwith work. Looks like we need to get busy tonight. Do i need to dtd tomorrow too?

@CurlyNo2 You're only 36, sounds pretty young to me! I love how supportive this thread is and hearing others stories, and of course the BFPs.

I hope you're all having good Saturdays

Hi, can I join? I'm 38 and trying for the first time. Also this is my first forum post... ever, I think! Trying to catch up on the goings on in this group/thread so far!

@PrintingProblems

Hi, can I join? I'm 38 and trying for the first time. Also this is my first forum post... ever, I think! Trying to catch up on the goings on in this group/thread so far!

Welcome @PrintingProblems ! I'm 38 too, a very good age. I hope this thread brings you lots of baby dust x

So today is our 12 month mark 😢

Partner did his repeat SA yesterday so now waiting for the results. I'm cd6 today so about to start the opk testing again

Welcome @PrintingProblems! I'm 38 and TTC #1 as well. I'm on Cycle 3/4 (depending on when I decide we started trying properly...)

I've found this group to be absolutely invaluable, I've told almost no-one we're trying and I don't really have a close relationship with my mum. It's been lovely to be able to ask random question/share worries and receive amazing support from the wonderful women here and their 'golden ovaries'. :)

@CC81 - “slightly high” doesn’t sound too bad? I also read that these tests can fluctuate a lot month to month? I find it all difficult to interpret tbh. I always thought it was AMH that was the one for egg reserve. Which annoyingly isn’t covered. My FSH was “normal” but then my AMH was low (if I can trust a cheap postal internet test, that is).

I last had proper tests done when I was 31, 5 years ago. Had hormone tests and an ultrasound, but no AMH for some reason. Then I bought home tests on the internet during lockdown a few months ago - got AMH and the hormone profile again. For my proper ones done at a surgery when I was 31, my FSH was 2.4, LH was 8, prolactin was 169, progesterone was 9 (way too low I believe) and oestradiol was 463. I’m including this in case it means anything to anyone! I think they did it in the wrong part of the cycle for FSH and LH tests though, as it was done the same day as the progesterone which doesn’t seem right. I actually got AF a couple of days later, so the whole timing was off. So I’m not sure if it’s even useful. I then had tests done a second time but I can’t seem to find the numbers. I think it came out similar though.
Then on the internet test I did recently (5 years later) (done on day 3) my FSH was 6.52, LH 6.39, prolactin 288, oestradiol 255 & testosterone 0.84. Again, not sure what any of this means! But I understood it was normal ranges.
What worried me most was my AMH internet test - it came out 9 pmol/L - which the doctors analysis said was below average for a woman aged 40-44 and I am almost 36. Average for my age range (35-39) is apparently 14.2. So that was concerning (but also not devastatingly low, I guess). That’s part of the reason I’d like to get another AMH test done at a private clinic and maybe also the test where they count your follicles or something - neither are covered on NHS.
As for my GP tests this time - I had the 21 day progesterone test last week so will get the results of that hopefully soon. I’m supposed to be having my day 3 test for the other hormones on Monday, but I think I’ll have to reschedule it as AF hasn’t showed yet. Today is day 28 for me and I haven’t had a 28 day cycle since June 2019, and haven’t had longer than 28 day cycle since Nov 2017 (I am keeping extensive records lol). My temperatures are still high. But I took a test (albeit a cheapie) and it was BFN so not sure what’s going on. Presuming AF will appear this weekend at some point. Sorry for lots of detail - maybe the numbers will mean more to someone in the group! Or be helpful to compare and analyse our results as and when we get them.

@CurlyNo2 - I feel you on the guilt thing. My low days are completely swamped by guilt and regret. I keep going over my life and how I could have done things differently. It drives my partner crazy as he thinks you just have to accept where you are now. It totally consumes me sometimes though 😭 good luck with DTD this cycle!

Welcome @PrintingProblems 🤗 this thread has been so invaluable for me - everyone is so supportive with my random offloading lol

@claireb707 - hugs on the 12 month mark and good luck with the SA. We’re not far from the 12 month mark now too, think it will be tough 😭

Congratulations @JustOneMore39

Going to have a vent as I just need to get it out!
What the actual fuck is wrong with my body! So I've been having short cycles since af came back after my last DD, I think it's been about a year of so. It averaging at around 24/25 days. I'm on cd16 today and just got a positive opk! I've been testing from CD8, af is due in 10 days.
Has anyone else got any experience of late ovulation in a short cycle? Am I kidding myself that we will be able to have another?

Hi @3andout, my cycles are usually 25-27 days so slightly longer I guess. But I usually ovulate around day 9 or 10. This month I ovulated later than I’ve ever recorded (day 14 or 15) - which I understand is probably normal for most people, but not for me. But now my AF is much later than normal so assuming this cycle is just different 🤷‍♀️ Who knows - totally understand your frustration. I thought i had finally understood my cycles and that things were consistent but now I’m back to clueless lol. I’m not sure about cycles taking time to regulate after having your DD, as we’re trying to conceive our first. Hope you get more clarity soon xx

@3andout I have a 24-26 day cycle but I always seems to ovulate around day 14-15 so the other half of my cycle seems to be shorter. I think it's normal to have shorter cycles as you get older. It seems quite common on here.

@CurlyNo2 😯 32 isn't old at all to start trying for a baby so don't feel bad about that. There are many, many women on here myself included who started later than that. It's often down to circumstances and not something we can change unfortunately. You are still in a good position at 36.

@claireb707

So today is our 12 month mark 😢

Partner did his repeat SA yesterday so now waiting for the results. I'm cd6 today so about to start the opk testing again

That's a really tough milestone to hit. But it won't actually change anything, you're just as fertile today as you were yesterday ❤Thinking of you 😔

Thanks @lucieloos and @SnowWhite1985 I appreciate you responding! It reassuring to know I'm not completely abnormal!

Hi all.

Hope I can join the thread. 37 and ttc baby number 2.

First was with a different partner at 32. Currently on cycle 7 of ttc and doesn’t seem to be happening for us.

At 10dpo had cramps yesterday and a change in cm this month but expecting its me amplifying symptoms in my head! Tested this morning an BPN.

Thanks @Keepeas

Just wish we could get partners SA results now so we know what we're dealing with

@3andout I would think you'll just have a longer cycle this time. Mine have been slightly different lengths, averaging 23 days and I've been ovulating around day 12/13. I figure my body would know I'm pregnant way before I do so would be holding off doing anything period wise 🤷🏻‍♀️

Welcome @Rusty83 and I'm sorry you got a BFN. It's so horrible. You're not out this cycle until AF turns up though so fingers crossed!

@CurlyNo2 - I feel exactly the same about the sibling issue. Our daughter will turn 3 later this year and I'd really love to give her a brother or sister.

I now (of course) wish we'd started trying last year... but it may have made no difference. And being honest, I don't think we were ready (or we'd have done it).

It's just so bloody tough. But I'm finding this group very helpful - thank you all. More messages from me shortly!

@Sleeeeeepy thank you. Was hoping it might have been implantation cramps but have horrendous mood today so think AF on its way.

Glad I've found this group tho. On to another month! The tww drives us all insane doesn't it!

Spotting today, definitely out.
Do I start temping from tomorrow then - 1st day of proper bleeding, ie CD1? I gave up this month as started at the wrong time and the readings didn’t mean much
I’ve also booked a session with an acupuncturist who comes highly recommended for pregnancy support. Even if it’s just de-stressing and nothing else, I’ll take it! Doing a zoom assessment chat tomorrow then f2f sessions if I decide to go ahead.

Welcome @PrintingProblems @Rusty83, this is a great group

Sorry @mouldygrapes 😭 think I’m out today too - so we will be cycle buddies. I had a major drop in temp today so I’m assuming AF will show up later today or tomorrow. I figure if I had a drop, that means there’s no chance I’m pregnant? Have some pains and exhaustion too so assuming that’s what it is. I started temping from CD1 - the apps usually splits it into cycles starting from day1. But I guess you can start whenever you want.
I had acupuncture a few years ago and found it amazing! It wasn’t for fertility but rather back trouble. The only drama I had was that the first session made me incredibly emotional. I was in floods of tears unexplainably the night after lol. the physio said it could have been an emotional release if I had loads of pent up stress that the acupuncture somehow triggered. Apparently not common though - but I would have preferred to know beforehand so I didn’t feel like a crazy person! The worst part was that I was meeting an old friend / very distant not serious ex that evening (who I have no feelings for other than friendship lol), then he told me he had got engaged and I just started crying. And he was like what just happened?! 🤣 but then I cried all night when I got home about a whole host of different things it was awful. Not to put you off though - after that first session I found the acupuncture honestly life changing!! I might try it for fertility too 🤔