TTC 35+ Thread 4 Cougar and Silver Fox Club

[Sleeeeeepy]

Yes it's Thread FOUR! Baby dust all round!

what dpo is everyone in 2ww on? I'm 7dpo and temp only finally went up today...ive kept dtd just in case, but its hard to stay motivated. Over analysing every potential sympton and obsessively comparing my chart with bbt from when my DS was conceived 🤦‍♀️

@Keepeas

what dpo is everyone in 2ww on? I'm 7dpo and temp only finally went up today...ive kept dtd just in case, but its hard to stay motivated. Over analysing every potential sympton and obsessively comparing my chart with bbt from when my DS was conceived 🤦‍♀️

12 or 13DPO.... holding out till Saturday :)

Hi everyone! I hope you don’t mind me joining the thread.

I’m 36yrs ttc for the first time. It’s been so nice to read this thread and feel like I’m not alone! I tried to persuade my DP to have a baby for about 6 years. There were always legitimate reasons why we should wait and the time just ticked by. I think we both thought it would be so much easier than this. We’re on cycle 11 now and it’s been so disappointing. I’ve not told anyone we’re trying and even though my DP is very supportive he can’t understand why I get so sad each month. A while ago we found out my sister is having a baby and while I’m so so happy for her it has made each disappointment even harder. They keep sending me bump photos and scans and it’s gut wrenching. I don’t want to tell her we’re trying as it will add another layer of stress to the situation.

Last month we had a GP appointment and set the ball rolling with getting some tests done, which is really positive. The GP told us to try and relax, stop tracking for a while and DTD every other day so we’ve tried that this last month.

I’m now on CD32 which is really unusual for me (usually 27-28 day cycles). I’ve no idea how many DPO I am but I’m struggling so hard not to get my hopes up. I’ve had nearly constant mild cramps for about a week and a heightened sense of smell but no sore breasts or nausea. I feel so much like AF is about to start any second... keep rushing to the loo to check but so far nothing. I’ve only got one preg test left so I’m saving it for the weekend but I’m so worried about getting another BFN!

Anyway, sorry for the super long post, but it’s good to get it all out!

I'm 11dpo but like @FridaKFangirl holding out to test till Saturday

@Keepeas I started testing on day 8 . I seem to ovulate pretty soon after AF finishes. Only short cycles. 22 days and the last one 25 days.
Im on day 12 now xx

@Hayleywoody82 yes I had this. I told myself not to use Opks but had two left last month so used one 🙄 I got a blank circle. I then realised it's because the opk was tricked into thinking that was my baseline, whereas actually it probably should have been flashing. Just goes to show though how easy it is to misread opks!

@Parsleyrose hello and welcome!

Ah that must be really hard to keep receiving pictures etc 😔 but your time will come!

So hard not to read into things but it does sound promising that you are somewhat late...? Xxx

Welcome @Parsleyrose

Sincerely hope you well and thanks for sharing your story

Like you I'm waiting for AF to arrive and refusing to test ... the cramps and a bloated tummy has been with me for a week and doesn't seem to want to budge ... I have my sanitary towels ready

How are you feeling feeling yourself ? And did you approach your doctor for any investigative work ? Sometimes it's the mind x

But I wish the very best of luck on this cycle

Try not to torture yourself - the weekend is near and the sun will be shining

Stay positive

[quote Hayleywoody82]@Keepeas I started testing on day 8 . I seem to ovulate pretty soon after AF finishes. Only short cycles. 22 days and the last one 25 days.
Im on day 12 now xx[/quote]
This might be the issue. If you’re using the CB tests. The chart they have in the pack for when you start says start on day 6 for a 22 day cycle (even if you’ve had a 25 day you are advised to use your shortest cycle). For a 25 day cycle it’s a day 7 start.

Maybe try day six if you end up having another cycle.. that might help give a baseline

So I had my blood results back

Progesterone at day 21 was 48 UL ( normal range is anything over 25...)

So it suggests ovulation is taken place ...

FSH ( female stimulations hormone ) in luteal phase ( 7 days before menses ) was 4.1

And the normal range for that phase should be 1.1 to 9.2 lU/ml

So I was mid range on that

So my doctor was pleased

Next step is possibly a HSG ( fallopian blue dye test and sperm analysis ) ....

Currently Day 24, waiting for AF .... the cramping a few days ago was awful though ... so where is this witch hahahah

Hope you ladies are doing well xx 😘

Promising news @Rumi1

@FridaKFangirl your right. Thank you so much for the help.
I will start testing earlier next cycle xx

Am day 29 and usually 27 day cycle but BFN yesterday. So maybe no ovulation this time. Pooooooo

Welcome @Parsleyrose
Your story is similar to my own, I'm 36 ttc #1 & feels like lots of people around me are pregnant, we have been trying for a while, so I know how you feel. I think the mind can impact ttc, try not to let those pesky negative thoughts take over. Ive just started listening to the fearlessly fertile podcast which is interesting.
I think i would have caved and done a test by now lol you have nerves of steel! You never know this month could be your time, good luck xx

@selina37 @Rumi1 @Loll35 thanks for the welcomes!

@Rumi1 Thank you! We have asked the doc for some tests - although she recommended not doing those until September because of the delays at the fertility clinic. I’ll have blood tests and my DP is going to have SA. I had an ultrasound last summer for something else and it all looked fine. It took a weight off my mind talking to the doc and knowing someone was going to help us. Your test results sound promising! I feel like once we get our tests done I’ll feel a bit better - i know ttc can take a long time and it’ll be easier to keep going if I know there’s not an underlying problem. Or if there is an issue at least we can try to deal with it!

@Loll35 Ooh will take a listen to that podcast - it sounds good! It’s nice to know there are other people in the same boat. Not talking to anyone at all about this has been difficult. I’m not sure I’ve got nerves of steel.... just a bit of a wimp! Every time I POAS it’s like the green light for AF to turn up, so it’s almost easier not doing the test. At least I get to hold on for a bit of hope a while longer! I don’t even want to order more tests in case I jinx it. I know that’s ridiculous!!

@Parsleyrose yes I think most of us here have not told friends and family so this is a great forum to chat to others going through the ttc journey. You are not alone! I'm exactly the same re poas I've waisted a lot of money on those in the past months so now I hold off and wait for af. X

Welcome @Parsleyrose.

Like @Loll35 and yourself (and others here) I've not really told anyone we're TTC. so this group is so helpful & everyone is really supportive. (I'm 38 & TTC #1, cycle 3 so still early days for us)

We've not told anyone else we're trying either 🤐

@FridaKFangirl thanks for the welcome!

I think we’ll be testing on the same day! I’m hoping I can hold out until Saturday and that AF won’t arrive. Wishing you (and everybody) lots of baby dust!

Are you having any symptoms?

@claireb707

We've not told anyone else we're trying either 🤐

I have been so tempted to tell some of my close friends and family but I think it will just add more pressure.

Now that my sister is pregnant I’ve already had multiple ‘you’ll be next!’ ‘Don’t leave it too late!’ comments (they don’t realise how cutting these are right now) which have already upped the pressure somewhat

@Parsleyrose, I really don’t know what possesses people to say these things. I had the same when my sister had her baby (...and since), it was truly awful and painful. I’d never say such a thing to anyone (even years before I thought about having children!) I’m in a similar position to you, tried to persuade my partner for years but he expected it to happen immediately when we started trying, now I’m just frustrated with him for making us wait this long! He likewise can’t understand the deep depression I go into every time I get AF / bfns. I’m trying to stay positive and not get mad at him.
@Rumi1 - your results sound really promising! That must be such a relief.
I had my fertility consultation today, and getting the first test (a progesterone test) tomorrow. Very happy with this efficiency! It’s made me feel so much better. I told the doctor about my random severe pains around ovulation this month and the double surge - she said I could be pregnant (!) (...but it seems too early for that), or a cyst or she said I could have just ovulated with pains and didn’t have those pains in previous cycles or maybe wasn’t ovulating properly in previous cycles. I guess it’s unclear. I’ve been feeling really sick today, constant nausea. Don’t understand these symptoms at all (I’m only CD19). This month has been totally different from me (other months I had various mild “symptoms” but this month has been truly awful). But hopefully the tests will at least help me see what we’re dealing with and if there are any major problems.
@FridaKFangirl @Loll35 @claireb707 we haven’t told anyone we’re trying either. @Loll35 you’re so right how hard it is to stop the negative feelings taking over.
Fingers crossed for everyone xxx

My (18 month) younger brother has 3 kids almost 11, 8 and 6.
Partners (2 year) older brother has 2 kids 16 and 14 and (2 year) younger sister has 2 almost 11 and 6.

So we're very much feeling left out, but we've only been together 5 years.

@SnowWhite1985 Yeah it's interesting what people feel they have the right to comment on! It sounds like we're in very similar boats with our partners. My DP was convinced we'd conceive on our first month of trying (ha!). I do appreciate some of the reasons he had for waiting, we are much more settled now, but I still feel like we could have achieved these other things after having a baby. Ho hum - can't change things now. It is difficult not to blame him sometimes though, and I've found myself giving the occasional sly comment on wishing we hadn't waited so long.
It's really great that you've had your first doctors appointment though. I immediately felt better after I'd spoken to our GP - just the feeling of someone else being on our team! Is your DP going to have tests too? That's the one benefit of my DP delaying us so long, he's not complaining at all about having tests done!

@Parsleyrose, not much. A few cramps, a bit of nausea and indigestion type feeling.

I did wake up on Tuesday night at 2am really nauseous and dizzy and nearly passed out... but I think this could all be the heat!

Fingers crossed 🤞🏻 though! For all of us! x

I’ve said it before but it’s so comforting to have this thread. Seems a lot of us are in the same boat re keeping it to ourselves re TTC and it’s so lonely.
I’ve told one person I can trust to be discreet but it feels like unnecessary pressure to tell anyone else.

@Parsleyrose I can’t bear the “you’ll be next!!” people - so insensitive. It’s still staggering that people feel they can comment on such personal details (along with the “don’t leave it too late/your clock must be ticking/who’ll look after you in your old age/how old are you again?!” commenters. So fucking annoying.
I’m having to take some short notice AL next week. Aware I’m getting tired and snappy, don’t want to get burned out since stress isn’t going to help! I didn’t get as strong ovulation pains this month and hardly any mucus so not sure I actually did ovulate. CD 17 so very much the waiting game.

@claireb707 oh wow - so many kids. My sister only has one (after long ivf journey). My partner’s siblings have loads but they live abroad.

@Parsleyrose yes this sounds so similar! Likewise my partner also had legitimate reasons for us to wait, but his theory rested upon the assumption that as soon as we were “ready” we’d conceive immediately whereas I argued that it could take ages to conceive then there’s another 9 months of being pregnant so “readiness” only needed to be a year away minimum. Wish he had been right but such is life I suppose.

I felt SO much better after talking with the doctor, and was really pleased they could do the tests so soon. Yes, my partner will have tests soon too (reluctantly lol!). Tbh I think he’s actually genuinely afraid there will be a problem with his sperm. I’ve always been assuming in our discussions that I might have trouble conceiving, given my family has history of endometriosis, cysts, miscarriage etc. Whereas he is from a large family and his siblings have loads of kids so I always though he wasn’t worried. But he made a comment the other week saying what if it’s him. He was also worried he hasn’t been able to go to the gym during lockdown so he thinks he’s less healthy etc. So I think he’s quite afraid deep down. In any event, I think it’ll just be good to have the tests to know where we stand.