Husband / Stag do / TTC

[Wingingit2020]

So for the last month I've cut down on smoking (more than half), upped my exercise, cut out caffeine, alcohol, taking folic acid, vitamin D, vitamin C, practising meditation and so on to prepare myself for TTC which happens next Wednesday when my coil is removed!!

Husband on the other hand, is going away this weekend for 3 days on a stag do where he will binge drink, binge smoke (and who knows about retractions drugs at this stage) and I'm not sure how I feel.

Never before would I have a problem with this but my mind is already elsewhere now because we are so so close to the TTC and the efforts I'm putting in (hey once I'm pregnant he's got the freedom to do all this!) - but it's because he doesn't seem bothered about any preparation and very much a "what will be will be" attitude.

I suppose my questions are

1. will this make a significant difference to fertility and
2. how would you feel?

TTC is a two person job, and it starts before you even start doing "the deed". Will smoking and drinking dramatically reduce his fertility? Studies show that a man's lifestyle impacts it. (Especially smoking, and especially smoking things that aren't tobacco...)

You're cutting lots of fun stuff out for the TTC period... Plus 9 months... Plus somewhat restricted during breastfeeding (if you're going that way!!). He only needs to do it during the TTC period. He shouldn't think that that's so hard.

@LookingforPositive My thoughts exactly. He is a great man and usually very compassionate and understanding but with this really has the mentality of "ah it will happen when it will happen" with minimal want to even try and make himself / the process better. But then he doesn't seem to believe in ovulation and the rest... I'm sure a part of him might even thinks a baby gets delivered by the stork!

I think that most men haven't been taught about it and don't think about it, which can be frustrating.

I think that men need to understand that what the eat/how they treat their bodies has an impact on their swimmers! And that impacts both TTC and the baby herself. It might help for him to understand that some of the stuff he's putting into his body can impact your unborn child.

Good luck! He sounds like he's got his heart and head in the right place, he just isn't making the connections yet.

What I would say is that one weekend won't make much of a difference! Also TTC can take ages (I'm on cycle 7 now) and being perfect the whole time is just not going to help anyone. You'll need to let off some steam every once in a while and if I had a hen do next weekend I'd totally go and have a blast.

Once TTC starts it could be a good idea to sit him down and explain how small the window for conception is every month and how low the odds are even if timed perfectly - so that he doesn't just think it's a foregone conclusion and that it will happen by itself?