Preconception planning - anyone want to join?

[sunflowersaremyfav93]

Hello!

I've been reading loads on the importance of pre-conception nutrition and preparing your body. Some say 3 months before and I've seen some that say 6 months before.

I find myself trawling through threads on Mumsnet but wondered if there were any ladies planning to start TTC in the next few months and wanted a forum to chat about ways to prepare / excitement of it all etc.

I often find myself going on to my bf and mum and they're like ok ok! 😂

@Nate1 the “protest drink” is a great idea! I wasn’t sure if I was imagining it but I think my mother-in-law looked disappointed when I had wine with dinner, she may be hoping for a grandchild!

Does anyone else track their cervical fluid? I input it into my Clue app and was just looking back to see if there are any patterns, but it’s a bit all over the place to be honest! I didn’t get EWCM the first cycle off the pill so don’t think I ovulated but I got it for 2 days last month and am now hoping I get it again next week as it’s a good sign ovulation is about to happen (or so I’ve read!) The other 2 options on my app are “creamy” or “sticky” - apparently creamy is meant to be in between your period and your fertile days and sticky is meant to be after ovulation but before your period. But I don’t think mine fits nicely into those 2 categories 😂 Sorry if this is TMI for anyone! Just thought I’d ask the question as this isn’t the kind of thing you tend to bring up with friends over dinner for example 🙈

@CookieMonster3001 morning! Your week off sounds great 😊 Holiday and Christmas plans both sound good, Greece is lovely - if you want an island I’d recommend Kefalonia. I totally understand the sister thing, I found it really hard when my younger sister got married and had a baby before me because I’ve been used to doing everything first our whole lives so it took a while for me to get used to it and I did feel a bit jealous at times. I would feel a bit annoyed if she wanted to TTC no. 2 at the same time as my 1st because selfishly I kind of want it to just be about me for a while (she had her first baby the year I got married so I kind of felt like I didn’t get as much attention from her and my mum with wedding planning etc. which sounds mean but it was all about her and her wedding the year before and then she got pregnant straight away after her wedding so the focus was still very much on her). Luckily she isn’t planning to try until next year for their second so fingers crossed I fall quickly! Sorry about the pay cut, that sucks. I guess look on the bright side, he could work for BA or Boots or someone who are making lots of staff redundant. That’s what I’ve had to keep telling myself, that whatever happens if we’ve still got jobs we’re one of the lucky ones.

@Lollipop87 I’be given up on mucus tracking for now, I’m not sure it’ll be of much use to me until my cycle normalises a bit. Also (and apologies if TMI!) things seem to have gone a bit haywire down there for me so I’m not sure what I’m seeing is normal anyway - I’m not sure if I’ve got a touch of thrush or something or if I’m having a reaction to the condoms but I’m very uncomfortable! Off to the chemist today to pick up some Canesten and some latex-free condoms in the hope that one of those will sort things out...

@queenatom oh dear I’m sorry you’re having some problems, fingers crossed one of those will sort everything out 😊

I'm using clue aswel, haven't tracked mucus yet t as wasn't really looking for changes.
We had unprotected sex while I was ovulating this month (acc to strips). Period should be due next week according to clue but I'm not sure if I'm pregnant as was just finished pill and only has withdrawal bleed.

Sister in law just told me yesterday she is 12 weeks pregnant. I actually felt a little jealous as this is her third. Plus there is major competition in my husband's family over everything e.g. grandparents attention, money, acedmic results. So that means if I was pregnant this month or next my child would be in the same class as theirs the whole way through ps ( we live in a village). Always comparing each other. Don't like the sound of that.

@cookiemonster2001 a pre conception holiday before you start trying sounds amazing! We had originally planned that ☹

Also I keep having crazy dreams this week. About my teeth all falling out and insects all over my house. Don't know if it's a sign I'm pregnant, or anxious about change. Also was my birthday yesterday (maybe it's to do with getting older)

Also having the crazy dreams but I understand that your dreams are made up of stuff going on in your life and considering we are all so ready for a baby it makes sense!!

I tried the whole CM thing, but tbh I cant figure it out and TMI but I dont tend to get huge amounts of it so unless im gonna fiddle around all up inside of there I dont think I could do this. I tried adding what I thought was my CM last month and it kept shifting my ovulation dates around and then I took them out because I wasnt 100% sure I was tracking it correctly and I didnt want it to squew the dates!

@KittyT30 happy birthday for yesterday! The whole comparing thing sounds like a nightmare, sorry you have to deal with that.

@CookieMonster3001 weirdly just after writing that message I went to the loo and had loads of EWCM but I’m only on CD9. Had a look around some other threads and apparently it’s normal to start getting it that early as it’s your body getting ready to ovulate, maybe I’m going to ovulate slightly early this month 🤔 Some women said they get it, then it goes away again and comes back a couple of days later. Luckily mine doesn’t seem to shift my dates around but I’m still going to track it so I can look back when I’m actually TTC. The general consensus seems to be that when you see it get BD’ing as it helps the sperm to live longer, so I’ll do that from Oct onwards!

@MsQueenInTheNorth the dreams are so intense! Laughing at your suggestion about the coffee I will be exactly the same! I was putting away DH pants the other day and thought about getting rid of the tighter ones haha!

@queenatom that is such a temptation! I would be having cheese Everytime I went to the fridge!

@Nate1 can do relate the the protest drinking’ I literally walk in to see my DH family and have a drink just to remove any doubt haha it’s ridiculous

@Lollipop87 love that you had a pate and cheese board! I’m off to get pate bread and Camembert plus wine today! Day off the diet haha!

@CookieMonster3001 Greece will be so nice. Also totally agreed on the easier to hide when hosting Christmas as you can but non alcoholic and switch up a label :)

Even if your sister does conceive at a similar time hold your ground and allow yourself to have your own shower etc! You might find it’s so nice having someone to share the worries with etc though

Sorry to hear about your DH job.

@Lollipop87 I get the exact same feeling about my mother in law when I drink that she’s like looking for signs that we are and the drink just ruins it. My DH family are completely open about how desperate they are for us to have a baby so a glass of wine usually avoids the speculation- although god knows how I will hide it when we are expecting now that I’ve been following this same habit for a year!

Good Morning ☀️
funny how we all try to avoid speculations about pregnancy. Won‘t be that easy when actually pregnant but too early to tell. But time will tell.

@CookieMonster3001 Oh I would give a lot to see an actual beach this year. What a nice plan. :) Also I understand you worrying about your sisters baby but my brother has a cousin his age and of course during childhood there has been some rivalry (amongst the mothers!) but since his teenage years his cousin is one of his best friends and I quite envy them because blood is (often) thicker than water and they probably will be friends for life. That’s a great prospect I think.

@Lollipop87 I’m just checking for the egg-white-thing and feed that info into the glow app..but that’s really just one or two days per cycle. The other days I can’t tell whether it’s the one or the other ..

Question: My mom wants to go on holiday with me right during the time my dh and I want to start trying :D I don’t want to tell her that because I don’t want anyone to know exactly when we did IT haha I think parents are not supposed to know anything about your love life. Does anyone have a nice excuse that won’t make her suspicious? :D As far as she knows I don‘t have any plans for several days (because of COVID ..) but of course I could make something up.. I‘m just not used lying to her. :D

@Nate1 could you say that your friends have planned something to celebrate all the lockdown birthdays (which hopefully is quite a few?) and you don’t want to miss it because everyone is going and it’s the first time you’ll all be together...or something along those lines?? You could actually arrange to see a few friends so it doesn’t feel like lying!

@mackjm20 I know what you mean, I’m known as the person who will always have at least 1 alcoholic drink even if just a wine with dinner, so not sure how I’ll get round it as people would definitely suspect if I started only having soft drinks! Might have to get DH to always go to the bar and get me something that looks like a G&T but is actually just tonic!

Been taking pregnacare conception, fish oil (omega 3) plus Vit D and also taking additional B12 since I'm a vegetarian
Made DH take pregnacare conception for men too :)
Still having the occasional adult beverage, like twice a week, and coffee no more than one a day
Been using OPKs and PreSeed ...
Ttc baby1, cycle 2

@AlwaysLay8 I'm taking the same as you now, fretted about it for a week. Do you need to supplement vit d and b12 as they are in pregnacare too.

@Nate1 my mum has always been prudish about sex, we've never Really talked about it but she was the one who talked me into TTC now. I said to OH it's strange she knows we're actively having sex!!
I agree with lollipop you could tell her you have plans with friends, or say you don't fancy booking something whilst covid is still around. You'll have a pretty good idea about your cycle by then, so could you book something in your non fertile window? Is DH going with you?
Or just tell her your plans...as strange as it might be for her to her you are planning on having sex you are adults and she'd know once you tell her your pregnant....it might be nice to have someone to talk to about it in real life. She might be able to tell you about how it was for her...if you don't know already x

@AlwaysLay8 Hello! How have you found the pregnacare? I read up on it and some people have seen their cycles change? We still have about 5 months before we start TTC so I think now would be the right time for me to get them if I did. I'm not taking any b12 and think I might be missing out on other stuff. At least I know with the conception tabs is that they have everything.

I also want to take DHA and CoQ10 - anyone take these too!

Also I can't remember who posted it but somebody said they're getting Camembert and wine today and omg sounds amazing!!

@cookiemonster3001 sorry to hear about your DH's job! And that's nice news about your sister and agree with the comment somebody made about baby shower, it'll be your first so think you'll be well within your rights to have your own. Somebody else said about your kids being best friends for life and I think that's true! My SIL had a baby last Nov and we all made such a fuss etc but she said to me a few mo this ago when I was saying we'd start at some point next year that she would never steal my thunder. I thought that was an odd thought to have? She said "I said to your brother, when it's your sisters turn I won't steal her thunder" within weeks if her having had her first she was talking about her second hence the thunder stealing comment. I don't know, makes me feel a bit of pressure? Maybe I'm being really sensitive.

@butterfly5291 it might be overkill to add the b12 and vit d to the pregnacare but I've been known to have deficiencies in both before so thought it couldn't hurt. Pregnacare doesn't give you RDA of either, I guess it assumes that you'll be getting more from other sources.

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I'm actually loving the pregnacare, been on it for a maybe 2 months. I haven't noticed any changes to my cycle but I have noticed that my nails are looking amazing!! They normally break a lot so that's a great change. It does make my pee bright yellow though which is a little disconcerting 😂

Camambert and wine sounds amazing

@Nate1 are you working at the moment? We usually do a family trip in December but I am hoping to be preg by then so used the excuse that I couldnt get time off work to redirect them to October instead. Always works a charm for me because they never question it!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 is DHA what’s in oily fish / omegas? There’s DHA in my fish oil capsules and I’m pretty sure it was listed as a nutrient/vitamin in the tinned mackerel I had the other day. She writes about CoQ-10 in the “bible” - says that it doesn’t necessarily make you more fertile but it could help you produce better eggs that go on to be more likely to produce normal embryos. She says “Given that CoQ-10 is extremely safe and has benefits for heart health, it might be worth a try, at a dose of 200-600mg a day. Make sure to get ubiquinol, not ubiquinone.” Have you heard of other benefits of it?

p.s. hi @AlwaysLay8 and welcome! My nails seem a lot stronger all of a sudden this week, I wonder if it’s down to the combined calcium & vit D supplement I’ve been taking?! They’re really long but not breaking like they usually do, result! Hope they stay like this until I get my nails done next week (finally!) 💅🏼

@Lollipop87 thanks for the idea I think I postpone the conversation as much as possible and may indicate that I have some plans :D

@butterfly5291 I know how I was conceived since it was an accident :D so my mom kind of told me several times years ago to warn me about natural cycle tracking :D funny that I use it now to get pregnant. She knows that we want to start trying soon and is very supportive I‘m just not sure I want to tell her when exactly my fertil windows are..Have to think about it.

@CookieMonster3001 That would be a great excuse but I‘m a teacher and we‘ve got summer holidays until mid September here. But maybe some conferences or staff meetings - could be worth a try :D

@sunflowersaremyfav93 Since you are the daughter I can imagine that your parents will put you first because I think your daughter having a baby is very special for many mums.. :) And I don’t think your overly sensible such thoughts just pop up once in a while even if they don’t seem to be very nice.

Do you all take calcium? Maybe I should start :D would love to have better nails at least :D

Oh and good morning of course :)

Good morning! The sun is shining which makes me feel so much happier than when it’s grey 😊 Today is our first day of eating more healthily and doing more exercise, just done a morning workout and going to have some fruit and Greek yoghurt for breakfast (switched to full fat as I read that it helps with oestrogen production so will just have to have less than I normally dollop on!) Hope you all have a lovely week 😁

@Lollipop87 Yes, that's right. Atm I just take Vit d and folic, I don't take anything else so thinking of the DHA and CoQ10. I just read the coq10 is said to increase fertilisation rates?

@nate1 you're so right, I really don't even care about thunder being stolen, I just want a happy and healthy baby I don't need all the attention, thought it was an odd thing for her to say though. I dont take calcium I just try to make sure I get milk and cheese in my diet. I've also recently swapped over to full fat milk

Afternoon all! Back at work and so much easier to catch up on the messages on an actual computer rather than my phone!

Had a chat with the famalam last night and although we are still wanting to go to Greece in October, we are going to wait to see what the situation is like in August September before booking anything! Hoping we can go as it would be an amazing date before starting to TTC. Checked my dates over, and if we TTC beginning of November and catch first cycle, it puts me at 14 weeks at my sisters wedding, which I think sounds perfect, so Nov is hopefully going to be our month!

Already thinking of all the exciting ways to tell DH were pregnant at Christmas! It would be such an amazing gift!

We also found out today that although Boris is encouraging people to go back to work, our employer is in no rush, and it doesn't look like we will be going back to the office this year, which for me is good because 1) we can BD any time of the day!! and 2) if we do get pregnant, I can manage any uncomfortable symptoms whilst at home not having to worry about going into the office and work.

Hope all you ladies are doing well! I do feel the time is flying! Can't believe we are nearly at the end of July... which means we are all getting closer to our TTC Journey!

@CookieMonster3001 I’ll be crossing my fingers for you in Nov! I know exactly what you mean, July is absolutely flying by! I think our office is allowing people to come back fully from Sept with the odd day in Aug if you want to, I’m actually looking forward to going back but we’ll be allowed to work 2 days from home so hopefully if I have bad sickness I can do that! My DH is a permanent home worker but I hadn’t thought of the any time of day BD’ing 🤣

I’ve finished the bible! I thought I had lots more to read as it was only at 60% on my kindle, but there was some more to read in the appendix and then loooads of pages of sources! My DH has expressed an interest in getting a dad-to-be book (they do ones explaining TTC and pregnancy in a way men will get, and I especially want to get one on how best to support your partner and what not to do/say 😂) Has anyone’s partner / other men you know read one they’d recommend? I’ve had a look at the reviews on Amazon but they’re quite mixed. TIA 😊