Preconception planning - anyone want to join?

[sunflowersaremyfav93]

Hello!

I've been reading loads on the importance of pre-conception nutrition and preparing your body. Some say 3 months before and I've seen some that say 6 months before.

I find myself trawling through threads on Mumsnet but wondered if there were any ladies planning to start TTC in the next few months and wanted a forum to chat about ways to prepare / excitement of it all etc.

I often find myself going on to my bf and mum and they're like ok ok! 😂

@Lollipop87 I‘m almost finished too :) I really enjoyed reading it and got some valuable information I think. Eg Not to freak out in the early days although that might be hard to remember :D

@CookieMonster3001 how great that you can work from home as long as you want for now :)

That's great that your DH wants to get involved in the journey just as much! I tried to get my DH involved but he really isn't interested in the ins and outs of the whole process! I think for him he just doesn't like talking about it much. Yesterday we went to a friends house for a BBQ and they have kids and all he could do was talk about parenthood and how it is and it was so lovely to see that side of him!

Just purchased a diary planner for 2020-2021 (we do academic years at work!) as I am planning on documenting my journey and I am going to track my ovulation 2/3 months ahead of TTC so I have a real good idea of ovulation dates. I am an organisational freak, so I plan to track cycle days, period and keep a record of all my OPK's in the diary.

I am actually really bored at work so trying with all my will in the world not to pee on a stick just for the sake of it! MUST WAIT ANOTHER MONTH!!!

Would you recommend the book you read? I really wanted to pick some books up from amazon, but everyone has access to my account which is annoying!

@CookieMonster3001 I’m an organisational freak too (typical project manager lol!) so am having to go against what I really want to do which is literally determine when I’m ovulating RIGHT THIS SECOND but I’m going to try and take it easy and just do it “naturally” (i.e. the lots of sex method 😂) for the first 3 cycles and hope that works! My husband doesn’t like to plan things too much so I know he would be against me getting that organised and it would likely make him not want to do it if it was too regimented! I love getting a new diary, and especially exciting that you’re going to use it for TTC! I would defo recommend the book, have you got a kindle because then you could download it in the kindle store and I doubt everyone who uses your account would be able to see it?? Or I could try and figure out how to lend it to you as I think I you can transfer it to another kindle for 2 weeks 🤔

Happy Monday, gang! Hope we all had good weekends?

Things have finally settled down downstairs after the issues I was having last week - I think it was just a bout of thrush although I haven't yet tested out the condoms so will just need to wait and see. I'm very glad to be feeling better, it was all a bit grim!

@CookieMonster3001, that's very organised! I've been feeling rotten so have fallen off the wagon on temping - I was waking two or three times a night so not sure they'd have been of any use anyway. Need to get back on the horse. I have been checking OPKs and no sign of anything yet, barely getting a second line.

Hi everyone,

I'm really struggling this week with my resolve to wait until the end of September. I spoke to by Best Friend about it and the weekend and she (quite rightly) pointed out that after the weekend of the hen do I'm holding off for, I won't care and work friends are likely to speculate when I don't drink at the wedding or work Christmas do so did I really care if they knew and the more I think about it the more I don't think I do care.

I'm a years time when I have a new baby I'm not going to be thinking about that hen do and whether or not a few colleagues guessed. I know that I'll still have a laugh with everyone without alcohol so that side of things doesn't really bother me.

I'm scared to wait assuming that I'll get pregnant straight away like I did with DD and then struggle to conceive for ages.

We had unprotected sex at the weekend but given that I only got my coil out last Tuesday, I would be very surprised if that amounted to anything.

Can anyone talk me down from this baby making cliff or should I just go for it?

Also someone mentioned pregnancy and baby books for Dad's. My DH read my pregnancy book (I can't remember which one) while I was being induced and found it really interesting/didn't find it weird that it was aimed at women so it might just be worth trying him with the one you have read before paying out for a different one.

@Pebbleinthesand I think you just have to go with your gut on this one, to be honest. For me, I'm waiting a little longer for two reasons - 1) because I feel its the right choice for my body to give it a little time for my cycle to regulate (so I'm not stressing out when it doesn't happen immediately), to take my vitamins and hopefully lose a little more weight and get healthier and 2) because my husband wants to wait a few months longer and I'm happy to make that compromise, particularly given point 1.

I do think that if you have the sort of crowd who notices these things, they may speculate whenever you aren't drinking at a time you otherwise would, and there's no guarantee that when it happens you won't encounter one of those situations. That said, there's nothing wrong with wanting to have one last big blast of fun before going into trying and pregnancy, particularly given the past few months! I don't think there's a right or wrong answer.

Thank you @queenatom. It doesn't help that I'm a big over thinker and I'll try and plan every detail and predict every different outcome.

I think it's the fact that it seems a trivial thing to wait for that's bothering me but you're right, if we decide to wait a bit there's nothing wrong with waiting for one last blow out weekend. I'm also planning on running a half marathon (not a proper race, just on our own) with my friend at the end of August which would obviously be made a lot more difficult with first trimester fatigue.

Weight wise I'm happy where I am, having lost 3 stone since I got pregnant with my DD but I've only just bought some vitamins so ideally I'd like to be taking them for a bit longer first.

I honestly give myself whiplash with all this back and forth 🤦‍♀️

Well and truly caved out of pure curosity. Peed allll over my hand (gonna have to get used to that) and did my first OPK! I was suprised at how small they are! The interesting thing is that looks quite close to a positive and im CD 11 and my last 3 months my app has said I have ovulated on CD 15-17 so very interested to see when it actually surges!

@Pebbleinthesand i agree just go with your gut feeling! If you are ready then just go for it. Or a lot of people dont try but dont not try if that makes sense!

@CookieMonster3001 that's the approach we took with DD and likely what we'll do again. Tbh if I found out I was pregnant this month I'd be happy but at the same time I don't think I'd be too disappointed if I wasn't which I suppose is a nice place to be in.

I've never used OPKs before. I don't even think I'd understand what I'm looking at 😂

@Pebbleinthesand yep i had zero idea at first but Im finding it all so fascinating!! I spent the last half an hour watching youtube videos on ovulation test strip progression lines haha

@CookieMonster3001

I hadn't thought of YouTube- must be the only place left on the internet that I haven't googled about conceiving a child haha

@Pebbleinthesand you could always just keep not using protection and see if anything happens but not specifically aim for your fertile days, it’ll be like you’re a newlywed in the olden days 😂 Then it’ll just be a nice surprise if you do fall, and if you don’t then you can start TTC properly on your original timeline

Good Morning :)

@queenatom happy to hear that your fine :)

@Pebbleinthesand I feel you :D I just asked my dh to start trying in late August because I‘m that eager to try and have a baby..So don‘t expect me trying to talk you out of it :D Go for it and just enjoyable this month I think it’s great that you can just relax a month and not be set on getting pregnant immediately! :) I will try to do that in case we decide to start in August.

@CookieMonster3001 exciting! Love YouTube although of course I know that some information might be even more speculative. @wrensandrobins try it you’re in for a treat :D it’s really fun to watch all the girls talking about their experiences :)

@CookieMonster3001 that looks almost there to me! In the past if I have got one that ‘close’ I’ve tested again 8-12 hours later, even if that means doing 2 in the same day. Fingers crossed!
I would wee in to a pot or cup and dip it in though, if you’ve got something to hand. I think (unlike pregnancy tests) it can affect the testing strip if you get urine on the wrong bit, which on those ones is above the black line?

I haven’t read the full thread so not sure if someone has already mentioned either of these things but two random things I think it’s worth doing before trying to conceive are having a smear test, because if you’re due one when pregnant you have to wait till, I think, 3 months or so after the birth so you can end up going a year overdue. The other is having a rubella immunity test. Rubella is part of the childhood vaccination programme but isn’t 100% effective so if you’re found not to be immune you can have another vaccination before TTC. They test for it as part of normal pregnancy bloods but at that point I think they won’t vaccinate you if you aren’t immune.

@Lollipop87 and @Nate1 I think not trying but not preventing is the route we're going to go down. I actually really like this idea and hopefully it'll mean I don't get to the point of being too obsessed with dates and OPKs. I think that would just stress me out.

@Anniemabel I asked when I had my coil out about having my smear early as mine is due in November but the nurse said that they couldn't od it earlier unless it was only about a month before.

Is anyone else here trying for a second or third baby? From what I've read, I get the impression that it's the first time around for most on here.

I’m hoping to try for a fourth! I need to lose some weight first and take some vitamins but I just checked on to see whether there was anything new people were doing since my first pregnancy when I researched everything but it was a long while ago now!

@MsQueenInTheNorth yep that was me peeing in a pot and still managed to pee all over my hand. Definitely need to up my aim game! haha. Even though I said I wouldn't start testing till Aug, I basically screwed myself by testing yesterday because now I do want to carry on just to see a pattern, but to save on the strips, I am only gonna do 1 a day for now, and then pin point it closer to the time of day closer to October.

I dunno if hubby quitting the vape has caused this (he has been vape free for 9 days now! So proud of him) but we have DTD 4 times this week (instead of our usual once a week situ) and 2 of those were in one day! I was pleasantly surprised. Lets hope this is here to stay!!

Ahhh, sorry @CookieMonster3001! Didn’t mean to patronise... or insult your aiming skills

That sounds like a good idea, and you were so close with that last one that at least you know vaguely which day would have been ovulation day. I probably use an unnecessary amount of strips (I have the same ones that you do), so I wish they had slightly more environmentally friendly packaging than those little foil packets.

Excellent news on your husband quitting the vape, and everything that has led to... long may it continue!

Thank you for the advice @Anniemabel, that’s a good tip. I’m due a smear test in January so I wonder if I could have it shifted forward a month to December? Then at least it would be out of the way!

@MsQueenInTheNorth no you didn't patronise me, my aim really is that bad!! haha! But I managed to pee in the pot today and not make a mess. Key is to not pee so hard!! LOL result looks pretty much the same as yesterday so will go again tomorrow and see what it says. Fertility Friend has me at ovulation on Saturday.

@Anniemabel literally planning to ring the dr's this week to book in my smear test! always hate going for a smear as the nurse always has difficulties getting in if you get my drift. So often a lot of fumbling around down there (not my idea of fun) but I am very religious about getting it done regularly and it just so happens my next one is due this August, so perfect timing.

For those wanting to watch ovulation journey on youtube, I have been watching 'An Expat Mommy in Sweden' who was documenting her OPK journey whilst TTC last year and really enjoyed watching her videos. I was amazed at how many were on youtube!

We’re like a hive mind in here - I have my smear this afternoon! I get a health check up every two years through work which includes a smear and a breast check as well as blood and urine tests and a blood pressure check. Will be a good MOT in advance of trying and will hopefully pick up any other issues that might be a problem (cholesterol, anaemia...)

@CookieMonster3001 I am also predicted for ovulation on Saturday - very in sync! Second line on the OPK today but quite faint. Hopefully heading in the right direction. Fingers crossed for us both!

Recieved my planner today yay! The organisational freak in me has started recording (see image). Sometimes the neatness just gives me immense satisfaction LOL.

@queenatom hope your smear goes well

@CookieMonster3001 Omgosh I love how organised you are! That has literally made me want to order a new planner!!

You ladies have made me think loads about timing and things to avoid about telling people? Are you all planning to wait until the 12 weeks to tell anyone other than your partner?

@mackjm20 Nah, I know what I'm like and I definitely won't be able to keep it entirely to myself! I have a couple of close friends who I expect I'll tell fairly soon after finding out - they all told me before 12 weeks when they were expecting, and they're also the sort of friends I'd want to be able to talk to if anything went wrong (which I think is key). I might tell immediate family if the opportunity was right - my family live at the opposite end of the country so I only see them in person a few times a year, and I'd rather tell them a little early but in person than do it by phone. I also think they'd probably guess if I was avoiding the wine all weekend!

Of course, I reserve the right to change my mind about all of this when I get there - I don't think you can ever really know how you'll feel until you're dealing with the reality.