Partner can’t ejaculate

[Brendon7]

Hi, I’m really now to this site and just generally ttc.

2 weeks ago we discussed ttc and we have been having quite a lot of sex which at the moment I’m definitely not ovulating as I’m due on my period any day now.
Every time we have sex though he can’t ejaculate, this has also happened a couple of times before we were ttc but I Just feel like we are failing already how can we ttc when he can’t ejaculate. Has anyone else experienced these problems and what helped ?

It’s making me feel really upset and I’m not even ovulating yet .

Are you saying he's struggling extra now that you've had the TTC chat? It's not too uncommon but would be good to talk to him about it and maybe take it slow until he's perhaps forgotten the initial pressure? Ie don't talk about TTC and hopefully it'll not be at the forefront of his thinking whenever you initiate sex.

Does he manage on his own btw? Lots of couples use the fertility cup for the guy to finish in and insert it - like a self insemination type thing.

Also there's lots of ejaculation problem threads on reddit under r/tfab - it might help him to see how common it is?

Yeah- does he manage to ejaculate when by himself?

So before we spoke about ttc it would happen sometimes where he just couldn’t finish but now he can’t at all, and since we spoke about trying I have been trying not to put any pressure on him I don’t plan on telling him when I’m ovulating. I have suggested he try’s on his own as he says he hasn’t in quite a while.

Hopefully this works ?

Kinda sounds like he's anxious either about having a baby or about the pressure of of trying to have a baby. I'd talk to him about how he's feeling, something in his head is stopping him.

OP is your DP taking citalopram? That can inhibit ejaculation and sexual function

The only medication he is on is lansoprazole

Hi lovely. This is something we've struggled with and I can empathise. It used to happen before on occasion but got worse when we started ttc. It's a difficult thing to work around. I actually considered sex and relationship therapy. But he wouldn't. It's improved a bit recently by trying other things to vary our sex life. We are 18 months in to ttc and together 12 yrs so things have become a bit boring. However on days that he just couldn't managed he matsurbatdd to the very last second. Which isn't romantic or ideal and made me feel rubbish... But it did the job I guess. Its not a fab situation as it makes me feel like I'm not skinny/pretty /good enough. And he feels useless

Is he drinking lots of water? I've found my partner can't ejaculate when he is dehydrated which with this weather is more often than not 👎🏻

I sympathise @Brendon7 my DH is the same. He takes anti depressants which have lowered his libido and means he almost never finishes. We had a stressful time TTC for a couple of months and both of us were really upset about the issue. This month we decided to use a mix of DTD (so we’re staying intimate) and self insemination (for insurance). Basically he does his business into a cup and then I use a syringe to insert it along with some preseed. Legs up in the air for 20 mins and done. There’s plenty of evidence of it working - if you search ‘self insemination - any success stories’ on MN you’ll find a group of us talking about it along with lots of success stories.
I’m now In my first tww and feeling positive.
So many things can affect men when ttc. He may just need time to adjust and get back to normal without putting pressure on himself but if you want to get going then insemination is a good option. My DH was so happy to have a solution that stopped him feeling like he’s ‘failing at his job’.
Also, he has the same issue in his own - he rarely does it as he doesn’t have a lot of success but we managed it 7 times this cycle. It took him about half an hour each time but good results in the end as he was so determined