TTC after miscarriage - April 2020 part 2

[Ejb86]

I've created us all another thread as we filled the last one!

@mommybear05 I had no idea how long I'd feed for. I never thought I'm definitely going to bf, once he was born though, all I wanted was to get bf right. Every time he woke in the hospital i buzzed for the midwives to check we had got the latch right.

He's already asked more today than he did yesterday and has been difficult to distract!

@dinosaur17

I can see it on the altered pick so slightly! Xx when is AF due now? X

@dinosaur17 I think you'll drive yourself mad if you keep staring at the tests 😂 did you do another two today and they look the same?

@faithandcake mine were high when I started them but think that was from the hcg and then they went to zero then literally only peaked once even though I was testing every 8hours so must've been a short surge.

@Bellabubble your chart makes me so happy... only a week or so we have to wait before AF is due 😬

@SmileyT driving myself and everyone else mad I think! Haha! Yes so did another frer today which is the same and uploaded my cheapie from yesterday and my cheapie from this morning.

@Hayleylou89 Which one the cheapie? Due today and nothing yet! Had some really light spotting this morning but nothing since.

Think I need to be banned from buying any more !

@TerribleImagination ooh that's interesting about hay fever tablets I never knew that but I've been popping them the last week, might try go a few days without see what happens. Sorry I don't have any advice for you.

@francis05 ahh yeah that makes sense if you ovulated around the 1st April I reckon you will definitely be able to see it on a HPT by the end of the week - so exciting 🌈

@dinosaur17

No the frer .. if i tilt my phone i see the second line :). X

@HE88 sending you lots of love. It's totally normal to feel this way, especially when we think we are moving on emotionally something knocks us off our feet. The other day it was a random Instagram announcement for a girl I worked with when I was 17. Just let yourself feel how you feel and don't suppress it all as I always say think that makes it worse. Xx

Thanks @SmileyT I'm really bad for bottling things up then I just explode. At least I know feeling like this is normal and I'm not just being a selfish cow. X

Welcome to those joined the thread xx sorry to find yourselves here xxxx

@HE88 Sorry to hear you're feeling a bit down. I'm having a low day today too. Think it's because I'm in the beginning of TWW but just dont feel positive and I've also been thinking about the fact I should have been pregnant right now. I feel like I'm thinking about it a lot and too much . I'm quite a chilled person and dont like to cause myself stress as that doesnt help but cant help over thinking things then get pissed off with myself for thinking too much 🙄 ... @SmileyT I ended up deleting Instagram right after MMC as so much of my feed contained babies or baby related stuff or announcements . I've tried going back on once or twice but deleted the app straight away again .
It's all so draining , I feel so exhausted today haven't done much work , emotionally draining I guess . Xxx

@HE88 so sorry you’ve found yourself here, and completely justified that you feel that way! It is the most random things sometimes isn't it. I am still working at the minute but find that not being able to occupy myself as much is awful for over thinking.

@Hayleylou89 Do you think? I’m sure my eyes have gone square! I’ll check tomorrow on another one of my cheapies but they aren’t as sensitive. Xx

@Renna aww gutted to hear ur feeling down! The beginning of the tww is rubbish it goes so slow... i deleted insta and fb as i just seen far too much on there baby related and everytime i went on it was like self harming so to spk cos id end up feeling so down all day, weve got this 🙏 and uv got every chance in hell u did everything by the book this cycle x x

@Renna thank you sorry to hear you are feeling low too. I get what you mean about overthinking things I'm so bad for it and I tell myself to stop. X
@dinosaur17 thank you it is the random things that get you think this is hitting my a bit harder because it will be 2 new babies in the family and none of them are mine. X

@he88 @Renna sorry you guys are feeling low. I was never one for insta but I deleted Facebook just before my mc and I’ve felt happier for it. It’s very easy to use social media to compare yourself to others. I find it easier to live my life this way xx

@SmileyT - I’m pinning hopes on the one DTD this month, the day natural cycles says I ovulated is the day I got my peak on a cheapy stick..and we then dtd late night/early hours - so hopefully we managed to time it right!! Initially it was predicting I’d be ovulating on the Sunday - so I thought we had a few more chances lol!! Fingers crossed for us both!!

@HE88 Don’t feel bad - it is hard!! One of my best friends is 2 weeks ahead of where I should have been now, and seeing her bump in her pics has been the first time I felt sad about it (previously I have still been excited for her and been able to separate the emotions, but not that time! I wanted a baby bump too!!)

@dinosaur17 hey not sure I can tell from the picture you’ve uploaded but maybe try again later?? This part is so nerve wracking isn’t it. Fingers crossed for you xxx

@Bellabubble it only takes one out of the millions of little swimmers that start the journey so you may have already done enough and only a few days from the little bean snuggling into your uterus 🙌🏾

Just got in from work and I'm bloody exhausted

@HE88 definitely not being selfish it is completely normal to feel how you do. Sending you a big hug xx

Does anyone else find the comments about how it is stupid to TTC during coronavirus a bit triggering?

I've been prescribed prednisone to help my next pregnancy stick and I'm worried about taking something which will suppress my immune system during a pandemic. These kinds of comments (usually from people who already have children and don't need to worry about whether they will ever be able to have a baby) just make my already high anxiety go through the roof!

@Bellabubble thank you, that sucks about having to see your best friends bump pics. Fingers crossed we all get that baby bump ☺️ x
@VP91x thank you means a lot x

@peperethecat ahh I'm sorry you are feeling like that. I personally haven't seen any comments but I can see how this could add to your anxiety around having a suppressed immune system. I think TTC is such a personal decision and is really down to a person, their partner and maybe their doctor to discuss the right time and any risks. If you think it's the right decision for you then that's the only thing you can control. Being somebody that has suffered with anxiety before I understand it isn't as simple as forgetting about what you've heard/read but I do really recommend cutting out any forums/ people/ webpages that add to your anxiety. Sending you lots of love 💕

@HE88 it’s completely normal and understandable to feel like that. My sister in law announced her pregnancy to the family not long after we had told my mother and father in law about our MC. Went between feeling sad and jealous it wasn’t me announcing a pregnancy and feeling happy for her. Big hugs to you. X

@Wishingfornumber2 well my sister in law told us when she was like 7 and half weeks as she got an early scan so that was just about 3 weeks after my MC, so had to deal with that now need to deal with the 12 week scan with official announcement. Gosh I feel like I'm pure moaning sorry everyone! X

@Hayleylou89 @Mommybear05 the spotting has gone today when I checked CP in the afternoon. Still feeling a bit crampy. Xx

@peperethecat I really wouldn’t worry what other people are saying. There’s a book I’m reading called ‘the subtle art of not giving a f*’ excuse the language. I’m not really into swearing but it has some key points that are so helpful. Whether you ttc is absolutely no one else’s business at all! Don’t let them trigger you. You are already concerning yourself with getting pregnant so don’t let people give you other worries you don’t need. Look after yourself and put yourself first xx

@VP91x hmmm interesting. Let’s hope you have no more bleeding now then 🤞Xx

@HE88 all I will say is thank god for lockdown in that way. I wouldn’t wish this virus to happen of course not it’s horrible but it has its silver linings in that you can get your space during this difficult time. I have completely buried my head in the sand and not really kept in touch with many people. Just how I’m feeling. I’m just being at the moment. I feel low and I don’t want to pretend to anybody. So I wouldn’t spend too much time looking at these pictures or taking to these people if it hurts right now. These things won’t always hurt you but right now guard yourself especially if they know what you have been through. My people don’t know about mine and I’ve been distant. Funnily enough they haven’t noticed or bothered to ask Which I think hurts more 😒 but you mustn’t spend lots of time thinking of other people. It’s their path and yours is different. I know it’s hard. My friend is three weeks ahead of what I should be. I thought we would be pregnancy buddies but it all just blew up in my face :( life can be horrible sometimes. You will have your time I’m sure of it. You will have your 12 week scan and have your rainbow and these dark times will pass. Give yourself the space you need right now though and it’s ok to say this hurts and it’s too much for me. You are being reasonable that this is a sore spot for you. It doesn’t mean you aren’t happy for them it’s just raw right now. Tomorrow will be a new day and I’m sure you will fee better. We all have those days. You will get through this and days like this will be less and less. I’m thinking of you xx