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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Want number 3, he doesn't

7 replies

tryingtoconvincehim · 01/09/2007 12:01

Can anyone give some advice on how to resolve the issue of one partner wanting more children and one not? I have always wanted three and DH wants to stop at two. After 2 years of discussing this I am beginning to accept that I will never convince him, but I wonder if I will ever stop feeling so sad and so angry with him). Does anyone have any experience of this? I would especially love to hear from people who are a few years down the line having had one or not and how they both feel now?

OP posts:

bubblepop · 01/09/2007 14:17

hiya,i still felt broody after ds2 but dh made it quite clear he did'nt want any more, so after about a year of occasionally discussing it i just began to accept it and dropped the conversations about the subject. to be honest, i don't thnk i was as heartbroken as you sound in your post,i'd just thought that naturally we would be having another child as we are both from largeish families.
when ds2 got to about 4yrs it was dh's idea to have our third! i guess his feelings just changed once they got a bit older and things got slightly easier. i was a bit surprised at his change of heart, so you never know! anyway, we ended up having no4 not long after no3, but thats another story. a good friend of mine is in exactly the same situation as you, in fact, i am wonderin if you are her!

goingfor3 · 01/09/2007 14:21

I want three, dp didn't. I did mention it sometimes but didn't want to push him as I'm grateful to have the two I have. I really wanted to start trying this month and was hoping I would be able to convince him. On boxing day out of the blue he suggested that if we wanted another one we should start trying straight away. They can suprise you sometimes!

Original poster

tryingtoconvincehim · 01/09/2007 20:35

Thanks for both of these lovely posts. I guess i shouldn't give up completely, but I think what has changed for me is that I am beginning to feel that it is too late for me to have another - partly age gap between the children (it is only 25 months between first two but would be at least 4.5 years between 2 and 3) and also my age as I am getting to the top end of when I would want to have a baby. I am just hoping that I will stop feeling that someone is missing in our family and be able to be content with what I have (oh, and not resent DH forever!).

OP posts:

bobsmum · 01/09/2007 20:47

We were on holiday last month and dh and I were having The Conversation about whether or not he should go for the snip or not. I told him I wasn't finshed having babies and wanted one more. He said he wasn't sure and would rather not.

But after a warning that if he didn't want any more then he needed to think about protection (I've come off the pill for various reasons)- he just said something like og well lets just see what happens. Et voila I'm 5 weeks pg

Dh is ecstatic. He'll get the snip after this one and I'll have my 3 babies

They do suprise you when confronted by the idea of 2 being permanent. Threaten him with the "V" word and see what he says!

Wallace · 01/09/2007 20:50

We had two, but now we have three

I wanted more, dh didn't. Then I got pregnant anyway by mistake. Some things are just meant to be...

He loves ds2 so much and would never be without him

bagpuss · 01/09/2007 21:02

Well, I wanted 3 and dh wanted 2 and we have 3 . I did have to do an awful lot of pleading and begging (to my complete shame really) but dh could see that I really wanted another baby and that it was really important to me and he changed his mind - we had a positive test 2 weeks later . 2 years down the line he loves ds2 completely but does find it hard work with a toddler in the house still. Having said that, he sometimes remarks that if we had more space and money we might have a fourth .

Coriander73 · 04/09/2007 09:51

ohhhh...my DD is 3 today & my DS will be 1 in 12 days time! Naturally today I am very emotional & keep having flashbacks to when she was born etc....I am seriously in the mood for number three although DH catergorically says NO! I can't get this feeling of needing another out of my head but then I keep telling myself that I hate being pg - the sickness for 20 weeks, sciatica, blood count problems, huge weight gain, would need a pre-elective after two emergencies blah blah blah...BUT I just feel I need to have another....I don't think I'll ever convince him - oh & btw he did have an appt for a v but didn't go as his parents convinced him not too as they think that his Father having had one could have contributed to his prostate cancer- not that there is any proven link.....arrggghhhhhhhh

My other question is: does the feeling of broodiness go away once you have three?? What about the so called middle child syndrome??

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