New thread for the crazy gang part 2!

[Ellsbells112]

Well since we are at the tail end!!

@Beau2020x @quiffy @Symptomspotter86 @BFP2020 @ange211

@Mumofboys17 no I think its from the pain, they aren't normally this bad and it's just making me nauseous 🤢 maybe it's from flying through different time zones ✈️🤷‍♀️

I know right it's so weird I'll even try to help it along but nothing works haha just can't finish! Xx

@Katie1109 I’m so sorry af arrived. Please don’t give up though. Why don’t you throw out the opks and apps this month? Have a few date nights with tasty food and dtd as you please. Even treat yourself to a weekend away? It will happen x

@Fredthespider can see that without even squinting! Eeeeeee. Everything crossed for next few days 🤞🤞

@Symptomspotter86 the bfn is heartbreaking l hope the test tomorrow goes back to pos x

@ellsbells112 oooo hopefully that means something!

@Fredthespider omgggg deffoooo a really good line there!!!!

@Katie1109 I totally agree with @Quiffy - why don't you book yourself a nice weekend away somewhere, doesn't even have to be far. Just something to take your mind off it all. I totally know how heartbreaking it is. I know it's expensive as well, but have you thought about paying fro private tests? I think you can get one for about £80? If it doesn't happen for me next month then I am going to do this, there's NO WAY I'm waiting 12 months for any help. I think a year is totally ridiculous, it's way too long.

This is going to be a long one, I need to get it all off my chest. I am fucking sick of this TTC business. I honestly don't know how people can continue on trying for so long. We've been trying for 7 months and I am absolutely destroyed by it. We always had fantastic sex life, both of us have high drive and this is still the same. Although sex does not feel like a chore we both secretly hope this is the lucky one every time we DTD. I feel like I cannot continue with it because I think it will take its toll on our relationship soon. I can already feel and see first signs of his disappointment and heartache while I feel completely numb and emotionless. It make me sick that I cannot give him a child, it makes me even worse thinking that I am probably one of those people that will end up lonely and sad for the rest of my life with that void in my heart and soul. Sooner or later he will probably leave me either to go on and have family with someone else, or because I will turn miserable and impossible to live with because of it. I love him and I am so happy with him but I am failing, my body is failing both of us and I feel dead inside.
I keep listening to my mum who does not know we're trying and seeing how happy she is for her friends becoming grand parents and dotting over the photos and loving spending time with them. I feel so sad for her, so sad I cannot give anyone the happiness they deserve, so sad I cannot make myself happy. I used to feel so emotional after every BFN and now I just feel nothing, just emptiness and fuck all else.
Sorry for the rant, I needed to say it. I think I will tell my OH in the coming days that we need to stop this now.

Aw @katie1109 I'm so sorry you're going through all this. As someone who has been on a hellish TTC journey for the best part of 13 years I can fully sympathise. You will get there it just takes longer for some. I advise you to try counselling to get some coping strategies - I did and it's been wonderful. It took me 6 years to conceive my son but boy was he worth it! XXX

Oh @katie1109 I wish I could come and give you a MASSIVE hug right now sweetie. I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. I know I can't help but I'm going to try and give a few suggestions -

1. You can't be 100% sure that it's because of you, can you? It may well be an issue with your OH's sperm so do not put all this pressure and blame on you (and I'm sorry if you have already said something that contradicts this).

1. I honestly think you should go and see your GP. If not for the whole TTC thing but how you are feeling. I think if you went to the GP and poured your heart out to them, explaining everything and that you just want some closure on why it's not happening for you.

1. You've said you are going to do it but 1000000% have a sit down with you OH and tell him alllll of this how you are feeling, ask how it makes him feel, how he wants to proceed. You think he is going to leave you but I promise you - he won't! You can do this and you WILL have your own family one day, whether that takes 1 more month or 3 years - you will get there!!

1. Maybe you are right, make you need to just stop the whole TTC thing but absolutely under no circumstance give up on wanting a family. Maybe a bit of a break is all you need, some time to wind down, stop thinking about it and reduce the stress. Maybe (if you can) book a holiday sometime soon, somewhere cheap and hot that you can both look forward to, reconnect and take your mind off all of this.

TTC is fucking shite and no-one ever says this!! People are quick to go on about their 'happy surprise' how quickly they fell pregnant weren't even trying shit. What a load of bollocks!! I mean good for fucking them but there needs to be more openness and honestly about the real lows of TTC. Trust me, I will be telling the world exactly how it is if and when I ever get pregnant. It's tough, and as women we feel all the pressure on us to provide for our partners. We will all be mummies one day, 10000% I know it! I do not know one single woman who has wanted a family, NOT to have one (if that makes sense). Even the women I know who were told they couldn't ever have kids, have now gone on to have them, most of them naturally.

Keep your chin up lovely - it will happen xxx

@Ange211 thanks hun, and I'm sorry its a long journey for you, don't know how you do it, full respect to you for that x
@Beau2020x thank you so so much x There's nothing wrong with my hormones because I had levels checked privately when I came off the pill, he also has no sperm issues, also done privately. So even if I went to GP I'm not sure what they can do. I'm sure the way I feel is completely uncalled for and seeing that people try for much longer than me do not give up and prod on, I'm just being a wet really. I'm just scared of a prospect of not having a family, I think that's all it is and all these dark and horrible thought flood my mind. I will talk to him, because I can see his disappointment. If I ever get pregnant I will scream and shout around how fucking awful this process is and how difficult and straining on the relationship. I have dumped opk's last cycle, because got bored of faint lines and I'm not sure whether to use them at all. Problem being my O can vary from CD14-17 and that's a bit of a gap, what do you think?
On the other hand, I'm not feeling very well now. Bleeding is not heavy at all, and its brown rather than red. It can't be anything other than af, I can feel this is af if that makes sense, I just want it to fucking bleed properly now, I'm loosing my patience! My boobs are still sore and my back aches like there's no tomorrow and have a stonking headache.

@ katie1109 I didn't mean it like that. Sorry if that's how it came across I just meant I can totally sympathise with how you are feeling. Counselling is really what helped me get through those dark moments (and believe me I had many!) X

@Ange211 don't worry I understood exactly what you meant, it just put it into perspective for me, so thank you for that x I think I'm just being a wet x I can't even imagine trying for that long, I am in awe of your resilience x

@ange211 power to you, that is a long time!! ❤️

@katie1109 what @Beau2020x said basically!! You know what made me feel better? Is that people had varying times for different pregnancies. So I go on threads where it says how long did it take you, a lot of women say 9 months 10 months 11 months and the after that first one they have the next one in 2 months etc! It really has helped me feel a little better to know that the time scale can vary so much. If everything like that has been checked then it may just be a thing if time(which is shiiiiit and long) but also have you ever had PID? If you ever had that or STDS it can cause scarring in your tubes, and that can be removed if that was the case. Not saying you have lol!!! But you said bloods were fine and sperm fine etc so I'm. Just throwing it out there that could be something else you can ask to look into (if it's relevant to you)

Ttc is awful it really is and I don't know, I guess some people can handle it better than others I guess, I know I'm sad most of the time over Ttc so I feel your pain. I said to my OH yesterday I'm not pregnant and he said yeah, really blunt. I said jokingly are you not surprised and he said no lol hell be surprised when I am pregnant. 😅xxxx

You are most certainly not being wet. TTC is hellish and how you are feeling is totally valid. Don't you ever think otherwise. I suppose it just never occurred to me to stop lol. I'm quite stuborn ;) I've got 2 lovely boys now and trying for a 3rd - I certainly never learn that's for sure! X

@Ellsbells112 thank you very much x no I never had PID or any STD's so I shouldn't have any scarring etc x
I think if it wasn't for you guys I would have given up couple of months ago x thank you so much x I will take couple of days to calm down and consider whether to continue or stop x

@katie1109 I think a good way to think about things is like this. You're 7 months in already, another 5 months brings you to a year and the average time it takes is 6 months to 12 months. I think you have a massive chance between now and the 12 months to conceive (data shows this) and IF only IF not... You then are ready to go to the docs and say well my bloods are fine and my partners sperm is fine, what other tests do you suggest? You're halfway there girl you can do it xxx

@Katie1109 totally backing up what @ellsbells112 has said. I hope this doesn't offend you but it might be worth getting an sti check (and let me explain why). My SIL recently started with spotting between her periods, she went to doctors couldn't find anything so she kept pushing and ended up having an ultrasound. Turns out she has a blocked tube/fluid in her tube most likely caused by old diagnosed STI/infections that's caused PID and the fluid. Now she is THE MOST conservative girl, same for her DH and she's probably only slept with one other person, same for him. They have been together over 4 years at this point. She told me it was caused by an infection (she said she was doing an sti check) but never confirmed with me in the end what it was (I never asked again). So this may be something to check, she had nooooo other symptoms at all for 4 years! Neither of them had a clue. Now that is worse case scenario.

Other things may just be bad timing around ovulation or just as simple as you need more time. My ovulation used to be bang on CD14 now it's anywhere from CD15-19. I start OPKs about CD9 and then when they start to get darker, I test 3 times a day as my surge literally peaks and drops in less than 12 hours so hard to catch.

Whatever you decide to do, we would be here for you

@katie1109 I think @Ellsbells112 @Beau2020x and @Ange211 have wonderful advice. Do what you’re feeling inside and talk to DP. Thinking of you lots today, we’re all friends here even if it’s just the internets ❤️❤️

Can I just say again what a bloody amazing thread we have here 😭❤️
You're all such amazing ladies ❤️
Wish I had you all the first time I was TTC! X

@Mumofboys17 haha we have each other noooowwww. Listen it might be me on Sunday breaking down because af came! (or 3 days earlier since I start pmsing 3 days prior) I will expect the same back!!! 😂😂😂 No honestly, I think we can all support each other because we are all finding it hard.
It's really tough!! I still can't get over the fact my old eyelash lady was like "oh I got pregnant in 2 weeks" after I told her I was struggling. It still hurts me 🤷‍♀️ and a lot of people don't realise the pressure we put on ourselves.

I really just want to know if I'm pregnant or not now but only 8dpo and feel nothing 🤦‍♀️

evening girls
How you all doing sorry I'm being quite had a stressful weekend but hopefully it sort now
@Katie1109 sorry your having a bad time I think we all be there at one stage but the advice is amazing
@Quiffy how you doing
@Fredthespider finger crossed for you x

@mumofboys17 hit the nail on the head here! You girls are all amazing!! And I swear to god I won't allow us NOT to all meet at some point with our babies 😂😂😂😂 I want a Facebook/WhatsApp group to keep this going because I think you are all amazing 💕

Evening all,

What type of OPK is every one using I have been using the 1 step and they have been ok. I bought for Femo app ones and they don't seem to be that good.

Has anyone else used them ? X

What an amazing supportive group of women we have on here with amazing advice.

@Katie1109 I totally agree with what a lot of these lovely ladies say in speaking to your husband and having some time away from TTC if you need it. But never give up because there are so so many women who takes longer for no reason at all. Just bloody mother nature being a bitch. I understand as I have no kids either and sometimes wonder if it is even possible and whether I am destined for it. I'll be going into my 6th month of TTC if I am not pregnant this time round so not far behind you. However I have so many women around me who have become pregnant first month or after 18 months, 8 months, 8 years and so on! Doesnt make it any easier when you want it so bad and it seems so out of your control but I promise you it will happen. See if you can find some stuff to look forward to like a holiday or something else to focus on, so your whole month doesnt just become about TTC as we all know it is so consuming! Sending you a lot of love.

@Ellsbells112 fuck off eyelash lady! I had a mate who got pregnant first month of trying for both her kids. She actually said to me that she reckons it is linked to her "good health and exercise". Basically making a dig at me for not being thin and running marathons every year like her. So rude.

@Beau2020x yes to whatsapp groups and all meeting up with our babies!!! I'm so grateful for all the support and daily chat on here. It keeps me sane amongst all the insane!

@Symptomspotter86 oh drop me out I exercise all the time and actually over exercising is no good it puts too much stress on your body, there needs to be a healthy balance. Thus why someone who has a very low body fat can sometimes have their periods stop! Women are made to. Procreate and survive, for that they need a bit more body fat on them (not condoning being massive lol) anyway they're just pricks.
Will you test tomorrow morning?

@ellsbells112 I know she actually had an eating disorder when she was younger so I reckon she just says stuff like that to make herself feel better because of her last problems. Obviously pleased she could conceive easily but she is definitely one to rub it in a lot! She asks me every time I see her if I am "trying".

Yes going to test tomorrow morning. I have had these weird side cramps for a few days now and have had sore boobs today and been really moody today for no reason. All could be linked to AF though and I am pretty sure Saturday's test was a chemical or dodgy test😪. Just weird that I got that pinky shadow on the IC as well.

Ladies. Stark BFN this morning on FRER. So I'm out. Symptoms must be AF on her way. Must have had a chemical. Gutted.