TTC baby #1 Threat #2

[GaaaaarlicBread]

Hi ladies ,

@Cheyanne101
@hopefulhel
@Liam2018
@Maddy0405
@notalwaysalondoner
@Hannahb26
@CurbsideProphet
@ToCaden
@JEMMA18
@LeaBri
@bubblyboo900

Our other thread is getting quite long and I know they stop at 1,000 comments so thought I’d make a new one for us .
I am so sorry if I’ve missed anyone , just going by usernames I remember off the top of my head !
I’m currently 5 weeks pregnant (miscalculated and thought I was only 4+3). Going for an 8 week scan (I’ll be almost 9 weeks) on 25th Jan.
but I am really enjoying joining you on your journeys on TTC and you’ve all been amazing so I didn’t want to just say goodbye to the thread .
Please come on in if you’re new here , and join everyone on their journeys . I feel like we’ve been chatting forever but it’s only been a couple of months. What a roller coaster it’s been!

Anyway, as we were!

@Lmac2018 unfortunately periods are sometimes different to normal. I've had to accept that myself. Our pesky bodies not behaving how we want them to behave 😏

I hope everyone is coping ok?
I kept busy over the weekend baking and having a good spring clean.
It's such a strange time. I had to tell DH to stop putting his stress on me, as I can't make everyone feel better about everything.

@CurbsideProphet I'm doing ok-ish, hence why I haven't been on here much.. In short, last week DH was urgently referred to hospital with suspected cancer following a CT scan where they found enlarged lymph nodes all over his abdomen and pelvis. The hospital has since rung and said they think it's most likely just due to his ulcerative colitis, but they're reviewing his scans with specialists on Thursday to determine whether they need to run more tests.. I'm just stressed and terrified and not sure what to do with myself. To top it off, AF arrived today..

How are you doing? How did your DH take you asking him not to put his stress on you? x

@camha I’m so sorry, that sounds awful and the last thing you need on top of the existing stress everyone is feeling in this situation. Really hope you get the results soon and it’s the results you are hoping for.

I’m doing ok, settled into my parents now, work still pretty busy which helps. Boris going into ICU has upset me though - he’s younger than my parents so I’m now much more worried about them, before I was pretty chilled as they’re both fit and healthy. Can’t wait for all this to be over.

@camha oh gosh how horrible and worrying for you. I hope you have some positive news soon. We're all here if you need us
My DH took it well and has agreed to stop being all doom and gloom.

@notalwaysalondoner if it makes you feel better I read that it's very much a precaution. If he wasn't PM he wouldn't have been moved, as he doesn't need the breathing support usually required for a move to ICU. Obvs I'm not a HCP so I don't know if I've explained that properly!
Yes it is all just awful and scary. Just feels like the plot to a film. I keep giving myself little jobs to keep my occupied. I've ordered thread online to learn how to thread my own eyebrows and face. That should take me a while!

@notalwaysalondoner @CurbsideProphet Thank you both, I really appreciate the support. It's just a waiting game now, trying to keep myself occupied but that's easier said than done 🤷🏽‍♀️

It really is such a strange time. I agree @CurbsideProphet it does feel like a film!

Evening everyone, sorry I've been a bit quiet too. It was nice reading through your messages This evening but sorry to hear all the stress you've had @camha . I hope you get your results soon and everything is okay.

Sorry to hear about AF for you other ladies too. Mine arrived last week and I was relieved in some ways. However now we're back to the beginning of a cycle it's hard to stop wanting to TTC. I really don't want to put this on hold but think it is best. Needless to say work is keeping me busy so I've got plenty to do! Also trying to motivate my husband to use his time off to get some DIY done 😂

I think all we can all do is follow the governments advice, and that of Public Health England, and encourage our families and friends to do so too. I feel slightly in a bubble with it all as my life is not dramatically different with work so busy. It must be very hard for you all with the uncertainty and changes in routine. My husband is struggling but we seem to be settling into a new routine which is working okay.

I'm planning to do some baking at the weekend - I'm craving hot cross buns, if I can get hold of any yeast!

How is your DH @camha?

Lovely to hear from you @MG123 We've got a list of jobs to do around the house, but our excuse is that we don't want to use up all of our activities if there's another 3 months of lock down to go!

Happy Easter all

I've got cramps and not v nice looking discharge, so it would seem that AF is extremely early for me

Luckily we have sticky toffee pudding for dessert and various chocolate eggs / bunnies in the fridge. Plus bbc good food have a recipe for delicious sounding cookies that I'm going to try tomorrow or Tuesday.

Sorry @CurbsideProphet I didn't see your message until now. The hospital said they'd ring us on Thursday if they wanted to run more test / if it was anything to worry about, and they didn't call, so that's good news!They said if we didn't hear from them it would be because they concluded it was due to his ulcerative colitis and they don't need to run more test so essentially will be closing his case, they said they'll send a letter to that effect though so I won't fully relax until I see it in black and white! But seems like it was just a (very stressful) scare, thankfully.

We did end up in A&E (not ideal as we're self isolating) on Thursday morning though, essentially instructed by his GP to go as he's got kidney stones (just to top it all off) and was in agony, so they needed to rule out blockage, infection etc. "Luckily" seems like he's 'only' passing one, but he's in a lot of pain and very uncomfortable. Which obviously means no DTD atm.

As you can probably gather he's got quite a lot of health problems 🤦🏽‍♀️ he's also got arthritis to top all of the above off. And he's only 26!! So yeah, life's not treating us particularly well atm and so TTC is not exactly easy. I'm just exhausted, fed up and heartbroken from seeing him constantly in pain. It honestly makes me question what we're even doing trying for a baby.. But then we can't put our lives on pause either, his conditions are chronic and especially the arthritis will probably get worse with age, so we really need to 'live fully' whilst we still can..

Sorry for the vent ladies, just needed to get it all out. I'm really trying to stay strong and positive, but it's just not east at the moment.

Oh gosh @camha you vent on here any time you need to. What a difficult time for you both. I'm not surprised you're having a wobble at keeping positive and being supportive, especially when you're so worried about him and trying to keep it all together in general.

I completely agree about living to our fullest and not wanting to put life on pause. I've got 8 years on your DH and also have health issues, so I feel that we really can't stop ttc.

I broached a conversation last night with DH about what we would do with our lives if we couldn't conceive. Neither of us knew the answer! We bought a 3 bed house and I'm staying in my job for the maternity pay that has now increased. DH just said we will keep trying until it happens 🤷🏻‍♀️

@MGee123 I also have done some baking - made a simnel cake for Easter (although the. marzipan went pretty wrong...) and have been eating so many hot cross buns! Hope we can get lots that are reduced now Easter is over!

@camha that’s such good news that they don’t need to do any more tests, but sorry that your husband is having other health issues. It must be hard having to support him through that on top of the additional coronavirus stress.

I think I’m about 10dpo today (annoyingly I ran out of OPKs before I got the solid smiley positive but I’d had 3 days of flashing smiley so am pretty sure). Feel slightly positive as haven’t really had grumpy PMS this month and boobs aren’t sore like they often are before AF, but who knows...?

Had a bit of a cry on Sunday when one of my best friends had her baby. I’m of course happy for her and supportive but I did need a bit of a cry when she never never wanted kids until about a year ago and now she’s got a beautiful little girl and I’m not even pregnant yet. DH thinks I’m too emotional about it all and is more pragmatic but I think it’s good to express your feelings...!

@CurbsideProphet my DH sounds similar. We know that if we had to we’d go for IVF and if that didn’t work we’d look into adoption. I do wish our system was more like the USA for adoption though - in the uk you only really have children coming from extreme abuse or neglect, drugs in pregnancy etc which are likely to require a lot of support and have possible special needs, whereas in the USA it is seen as more an alternative to abortion so it’s much more common to get healthy untraumatised young babies. I know it’s a great thing to adopt but it is a very different type of commitment in the USA compared to the uk and I don’t know if I’d be able to manage a child with complex needs. But that’s obviously a long way off...

@CurbsideProphet @notalwaysalondoner thanks for the support ladies, I really appreciate it. I just have to keep going and stay strong, and hopefully it'll be our turn soon.

Hopefully no normal PMS symptoms is a good sign @notalwaysalondoner, fingers crossed!

I understand you needing a little cry, it really is difficult. My DH's cousin is accidentally pregnant for the second time (on the pill both times and 'never want another child' after the first one...), which is annoying in itself, but the other day she posted on her Instagram story saying 'all I want right now is a glass of wine'. It really upset me and got my really annoyed. Some people just don't realise how lucky they are.

Yes @CurbsideProphet rationing the DIY is important at present I think! Need to wean off the choc and treats now as well!

@camha sounds like you and your husband are really going through the ringer. Vent away whenever you need 😊 I can totally understand the rationale for just keeping on and living life.

@notalwaysalondoner how are you getting on? Any signs AF is on its way or are you feeling hopeful?

We've talked a bit about what we would do if we struggle to conceive. I think we would pursue it as far as we can in terms of tests and fertility treatment but would be somewhat limited financially in terms of any big commitments to it. I can't believe we've got to cycle 10 already. In some ways it feels like forever but in others it has gone so fast. We have ended up continuing TTC this month. When it came to stopping I just couldn't. And to be honest, I have this weird feeling it just isn't going to happen for us for ages so thought we might as well 🤷‍♀️

@MGee123 we’re at cycle 10 too - only month 7 but I have short cycles. I was feeling super hopeful yesterday then today I feel like I’m being stupid getting my hopes up when it hasn’t happened any other month. No real symptoms either way - my boobs aren’t sore but then maybe they should be if I’m pregnant! But then they are normally sore 4-5 days before AF and I’m due on Sunday.

It’s tempting to test but I also don’t want to kill the tiny bit of hope that is there...

@notalwaysalondoner everything crossed for you 🤞🏻 I would wait a bit longer if I were you. I've had the crying recently myself and I don't know anyone who's pregnant. The wives of my DH's friends set up a WhatsApp group for "the girls". I keep getting notifications with photos of their babies and children. I hate it tbh, especially as they aren't my own friends.

@MGee123 I also feel like there's no point stopping. This will be my 6th cycle of trying, as we didn't in January. I know what you mean about it feeling like an eternity, but also like time has flown. In some ways it only feels like a few short weeks since new year, but now we're in the second half of April.

@camha how is your husband doing?

He's doing okay thank you @CurbsideProphet he's feeling lots better and is not in agony anymore so that's good! He received a letter from the hospital today though with an appointment, so don't really know what to think. They said if they didn't see anything concerning on the scans they'd just sent a letter to confirm they've closed his case, but they've set up an appointment so they're obviously wanting to run more tests. But it's not for another nearly 3 weeks so surely can't be that serious?? We'll just have to wait and see.

How are you doing? xx

@camha I'm glad he's feeling better. Perhaps they want to do something like repeat his bloods which don't need to be done immediately?
I'm feeling ok. Trying to stay positive... I just worry that something is very wrong and as I'll be 35 this year time is really ticking on. Obviously I completely appreciate that there is a worldwide pandemic! I imagine with my life shrinking to such an extent it's normal that I'm feeling very focused on ttc.

Well DH took a at home sperm test on Saturday- definitely do not recommend! It was a swimcount one but the results were really hard to interpret so he go really worried that maybe he has low motility sperm...! In my opinion it could have been the low or average result, it was impossible to tell.

And then he started saying that he didn’t know how he’d feel about using donor sperm, which upset me a bit as I feel that if one of you has the “problem” so to speak you probably need to deal with your own feelings and support your partner to have a family in whichever way is possible. If it were me (obviously this is all hypothetical) with a zero chance of conceiving and DH has no issues, I’d definitely feel weird about a donor egg but I like to think I’d get over it and deal with it if it was the only way to have a baby... anyway - no point in us doing any of this as the test just upset us and right now there is no way of going to a clinic to get it checked properly!

In good news, AF hasn’t started yet. Was due yesterday (Day 26) but learnt not to get my hopes up after the month it was 30 days.

@notalwaysalondoner oh no what an extra stress and worry. I hope you're both ok. Are those tests really reliable? I imagine at the moment we're all feeling extra stressed and hyped up, which isn't helpful for having conversations about things that might never happen.

AF can be so pesky. Messing us around. I really hope this is your month

@camha glad your husband is feeling better but sorry you're still going through the stress with waiting for your appts. Fingers crossed for you.

Try not to worry about your age @CurbsideProphet (I know easier said than done). If you're fit and well hopefully there will be plenty of childbearing years left! I have recently turned 31 and had a bit of a wobble as for some reason it feels much older than 30!! But I'm making my peace with it now 🙄

@notalwaysalondoner that sounds very stressful for both of you. Maybe he needs a bit more time to get his head round it? My husband tends to flip out a bit with new info or when things change. I tend to tell him to look into things in his own time and 9 times out of 10 he'll come round to the idea once he's done his own research! Hopefully you won't have to go down that route in any case. Any news on AF? 🤞

I'm CD 19 so AF due in 6 days or so is it sticks with my more recent pattern of 24 day cycle. Not an inkling of symptoms or signs so will just have to wait and see. I usually get lower back pain for 2 days before AF arrives so may get a heads up in a few days if this cycle has been a no go!

My lower back ache has started so I'm fairly certain AF is on the way. I'm having one of those days where I am so over this 😩 why is this so bloody difficult?! I feel so let down by my body - I eat well, exercise regularly, don't really drink much, have never smoked, always been a healthy weight. I don't know what more I can do. My husband is so relentlessly optimistic and keeps coming up with excuses for why it wouldn't happen this cycle anyway. I'm so done with it all... sorry for the rant!

I totally feel you @MGee123, I'm having one of those days too. So fed up with everything. Don't really have any advice or anything else to say, just wanted to let you know you're not alone.. x

Thank you @camha 🙏 it feels so self-indulgent sometimes to spend so much time thinking about yourself! I do find it really helpful knowing other people feel the same as me. I'm going to write today off as a bad day and go for a nice run in the morning. With this lovely weather it shouldn't be too hard to have a nice day as I am off work! ☀️😊

@MGee123 and @camha I definitely feel your pain! I don't drink at all, don't smoke, lots of yoga / pilates / meditation, reasonably healthy diet etc. It's just so unfair. I'm seeing pregnancy and babies everywhere. I'm only walking around my village and watching telly, yet still they're everywhere!

@MGee123 the weather looks lovely for tomorrow, so enjoy your day off!