Morning ladies. Just in need of a rant I think because yesterday I was so angry with my husband I flipped. We had privately decided that we would take our kids to Disneyland Florida next March, but agreed to keep it from them until nearer the time. Luckily we did because lockdown happened which has thrown everything up in the air, then I got my positive test - and clearly we need to wait a few weeks/months to see if it’s a viable pregnancy. He was overjoyed with the positive test btw...
So yesterday, I was having a sit down chat with my kids to check in and see if they were both ok after their grandmas funeral on Friday - when husband launches in with ‘I’ve got something to cheer you up tho, we might be going to Disney!’ I was Furious!!
So I walked away from the situation to calm myself down, and after an hour or so my fuming levels had returned to nearly normal levels, enough to have a civil conversation with him anyway. I said ‘Why did you do that? We don’t even know when we might be able to go yet, and if this pregnancy continues, I really don’t want to take a newborn to America’ he asks why not. I list a load of things to him like, the weather is hot, it’s quite conservative in America for breastfeeding, I might not be able to get formular if it’s bottle fed, it’s a long flight with a newborn, nappies and pram to carry, sunburn, queues, blah blah.
So he says ‘well we could go in October THIS YEAR’ No I say I’d be 7 months pregnant, physically ill be huge, theres lots of walking to be done which will leave me uncomfortable, it’s still very hot over there, I wouldn’t enjoy that either.
By this time, he’d had literally maybe 2 cans of normal strength lager (he rarely drinks), and was chatting on and on so I knew he was ‘fresh’ because he doesn’t stop talking when he’s had alcohol. He says ‘Well why did we tell the kids then?’ I pointed out He told the kids not me. He says ‘Well either way I need to get my holidays booked at work so you’d better work out when we are going’
I sat and thought about what he had just said - and then it was like I was a shaken up bottle of cola, I just exploded. I said ‘If you think I’m saving up thousands of pounds to go on a holiday that I’m not going to enjoy you can forget it. Your going on like this is all about you, well it’s not. Your being arrogant and selfish putting me at risk and a newborn, do you actually have any feelings for others? If we Go in October, I’ll hate it. Go in March and you put newborn at risk and me when I’m just three months postpartum. Go Stick it up your (then I swore). You need to seriously decide what your priorities are and put others before yourself!
He sulked for pretty much the rest of the day and I couldn’t talk to him. He’s gone to work this morning as he’s a key worker, but I’ve woken up today and I’m still really angry.
If he comes home tonight and starts talking hormones and mood swings I don’t think I can guarantee not to give him a short sharp knee to the groin area, I’m not even kidding I’m so mad.