Life beyond baby-making

[ChatWithMe]

Hi all.

I spend many of my waking hours thinking about baby-making eg what cycle day I'm on, when my next fertility clinic appointment is, how old I am and how it'll be to give up on trying for number two by next year. Plus, I spend way too long reading Mumsnet posts on the conception page these days tbh :-)

I thought it'd be fun to help each other focus on other things outside of baby-making :-) What do you fellow TTConceivers do to distract you from the whole thing? What do you have to look forward to that doesn't have to do with getting two lines on a first response?

I'll go first:

I'm looking forward to a concert tomorrow night and seeing friends on Sunday.

I enjoy learning piano, learning about chemistry and biology, spending time with friends and family, reading to my toddler, watching Netflix shows that aren't too cheesy, going for walks when it's sunny out, listening to Einaudi, dancing to pop...

What about you? Looking forward to your replies x

Hi @ChatWithMe between obsessing about CM, fertile days, ovulation and DTD, I enjoy watching TV (far too much), reading true life crime books, having a cuppa and a good chat with my mum and I am currently learning Spanish x

Hi Each2TheirOwn - thanks for your message. Sounds like great distractions. I learned Spanish in 2006/7 and lived I Madrid for 6 months as an au pair in 08. Awesome language. You have travel plans to use practice it or do you know any Spanish speakers? I actually still want to continue with Spanish. I absolutely love this Spanish song Pasado Pisado -

I'm on my third month of TTC, and it's literally taken over my every waking thought (and sometimes my dreams!)

I'm planning my wedding, which ought to be keeping my mind off it. Also trying to finish a PhD.

Wow Bezalelle - sounds like you are one busy lady! Planning a wedding and PhD are both full time jobs. One good thing about not conceiving is you have a slimmer waist to fit nice dresses :-) We started trying 5 months (for first baby) before wedding cause I didn't want to have to buy a pregnancy accommodating dress lol Good luck achieving your goals x

Hi 👋🏼 I'm beyond obsessed it's unhealthy!! I enjoy binge watching old tv shows (currently most of the way through ugly Betty), enjoying the end of the school holiday with DC1 and going for hikes.

It's nice to see someone else in love with ludovico..what a genius 😍

@ChatWithMe you are so lucky to have lived in Madrid. I would love to go and immerse myself in the culture for an extended period but I have to settle for regular trips. My BIL is a fluent Spanish speaker (he lived and went to school in Spain) so I try to converse with him but I'm not at a level where I can have a decent conversation yet. I'll get there

Never heard that song before but I like it 👍🏼 x

Hi GloriaMaximus - I never watched that show but I like the actress and was crazy about the show Superstore before new episodes stopped airing here. And yes, I am obsessed with Ludovico - just saw him perform (amazing).

Hi Each2TheirOwn - well at least you have a fluent Spanish speaker in the family. Not me. One day I'll get back into doing language swap with random strangers on gumtree lol

What a nice thread idea! I'm in early stages of TCC so I'm overreasearching as I have a tendency to get carried away with new projects so it's good to remind myself I have other interests than the consistency of my CM 😁

I love planning holiday itineraries (for myself or others), playing video games (because I'm a big child apparently), going to the beach, running (well I go through phases haha) and hiking. I used to write a lot but haven't really felt particularly inspired in the recent couple of years.

I was recently an extra in a play as a part of a community chorus, which made me wonder if I should try to get involved with the local community theatre. Also just got a copy of The Time Traveller's Wife so hoping to get into reading a bit more again.

@Each2TheirOwn @ChatWithMe I also used to live in Spain, 10 years ago (I was in Valencia) I spent 4 months there working in a hostel. My Spanish is pretty tragic these days, it's crazy how quickly you forget a language when you don't use it! I can still understand it reasonably well but trying to cobble a sentence together is a whole different story...

@Bezalelle Wow, a PhD sounds impressive! hope wedding planning is going well, when is the wedding? I got married in June and it did take over so much of my time to plan it all (worth it in the end I think though)

Hi Raizelrea - haha thought I'd put a positive spin on TTC. I'm tired of feeling stressed out about it! That's great you're dabbling in theatre. Acting is the best form of distraction. Maybe extra roles aren't but hopefully you get a main role and have to focus memorising like a million lines! Anything to keep from worrying about your CM lol (didn't realise what that was until it just clicked for me!). Enjoy your new novel. Fiction is much better for escapism than my biology and chemistry books :-/

What a lovely thread @ChatWithMe and so nice to read everyone's suggestions. Inspiring.

I have a little boy, but have been ttc number 2 since Jan and am very low about it all. Recently gone through a miscarriage so I've decided I need to start living again, especially if I end up with 'only' one.

I miss learning - I'd like to do a Masters. I'm going to start researching part-time courses to start Sept 2020.

I miss travelling (long haul trips not been booked 'in case' I'm pregnant... and then I'm not). I think we'll save to go to Japan, and I'd love to take my son to India. Need something big and adventurous - I want my little boy to be immersed in other cultures.

I miss exercise and my old body! I'm not overweight by any means but I was soo fit when I got married. Might get on this one now and book a spinning class for tomorrow morning. If I feel good about the way I look and feel strong again it will lift some of the sadness, it also makes clothes shopping actually enjoyable.

I miss going out-out!!! I would so love a night where I get dressed up and go dancing, it feels like moons ago that this last happened (other than weddings which defo don't count).

Hi rosamundos - those all sound like lovely ideas for your emotional well-being. Miscarriage must be really horrible. However maybe it shows that you can conceive naturally. I'm 38 and have never conceived naturally - just the once with IVF in 2017.

Japan sounds like the best travel option as less risk of travel infections (India not great while TTC I reckon). I've always wanted to go to Tokyo but my husband has been and it's expensive so we tend to go other places.

A Master's is quite a commitment but really motivating. I feel like life is full when I'm not learning new things!

Does your son talk about having a sibling? x

Dull not full :-)

Yes @ChatWithMe we were going through fertility testing prior to this but I can’t even imagine how hard the journey with IVF is. I have my fingers crossed for you.

This evening I booked my exercise class & looked at flights

He doesn’t realise what a brother or sister really is, no cousins in the family and we moved abroad last year so don’t have many friends here with kids. He does keep sticking out his stomach and going ‘mummy have I got a baby?’ after meeting one of my pregnant friends though. Does your DC ask? Dreading this happening!

Well done rosamundos for booking the class and starting to research traveling. Exercise is really good for the body and mind. I worry about my BMI going down too much do I haven't gotten back into running at the weekend which is what I used to do. I do want to try dancing with my toddler a few times a week cause it's fun for both of us :-) He's only 1.5 years so he has no concept of a sibling. Sounds like your son would enjoy some peer group company if no kiddies in the family. Playgroups and school are good for socialising. So cute what kids say sometimes! :-) Our son lives a bit far from his cousins on both sides but does have a laugh when we do get to visit them.

Good luck booking your holiday. Hope you get a good deal :-) We're going to meet friends for a walk and lunch so hope we don't roast in the heat!