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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

NOT TTC............. I NEED SUPPORT!

68 replies

lissie · 05/08/2007 22:28

ok, so this is unusual but dh and i have decided after 2y of ttc our second child, 5 confirmed mc's and 1 ep to have a few months off and i need help. its like giving up smoking again. i want to ttc, every fibre of my body is shouting "what if this is the month that the one sticky egg is released" i'm also very aware that i only have one tube left so my fertlity has been halved. but i also only have one tube left. i cant afford another ep. dont think i could cope with another mc and we see our specialist on the 8th oct, 7d after my ep beans edd. i think we should wait til then and i need my ttc/mn buddies support and help to keep me on the straight and narrow!

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Original poster
lissie · 05/08/2007 22:42

no takers?

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Wheelybug · 05/08/2007 22:47

Probably a very sensible decision but I can imagine just how hard that must have been to make !

I have no advice really but I think you're VERY brave to decide this and I think its the right decision if that helps. Not that one should wish time away, but fingers crossed 8th Oct comes by quickly.

Original poster
lissie · 05/08/2007 22:49

thank you. i suppose i want people to tell me that im doing the right thing and give me a kick in about 10d time

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pipsqueeke · 05/08/2007 22:51

lissie - re the one tube - I have only one, and don't want to appear insensitive (please shout at me if I am) but my gyne (pre ds) said that the remaining one would win out every month so apparently my fertility hasn't been effected. (only have one ovary as well). like you I cna't affor an ep pg (main reason for not going on the pill tbh). remember what you told me (not that i've listened! lol) but your body needs to recover - 5m/c's is an awful lot for one person to go thru.

lets hope oct comes around quickly and you ahve some good news asap.

orangehead · 05/08/2007 22:53

I also made this decision after 3rd miscarriage as thought I might end up in mental hospital if I miscarried again. Sorry cant really offer advice but sympathmize as i found it hell not trying. I suppose you just have to keep in mind that by waiting for yr appt you giving yr next preg the best chance 2 succeed, and just keep talking to keep you sane. Its a tough decision, I wish you all the best

Wheelybug · 05/08/2007 22:53

Can you book things in for the 'window' - try and make yourself busy to 'try' and not think about it (easier said than done I know).

How old is your ds now ? Do you worry about age gaps (my biggest worry over the whole matter !) or your age (I don't think you're too old if I recall ?!) ... or 'just' that it will never happen ?

nh101 · 05/08/2007 22:57

Hi Lissie, just wanted to say good luck. You have been through so much, you just have to stay positive cos your second baby will be here before you know it. It helps me to think "in a year's time..." cos a year goes so quick, so focus on that.

Maybe have a break from MN as well? Not trying to get rid of you but we all know how addictive it can be. I love it but I think it stresses me out more sometimes!

Wheelybug · 05/08/2007 22:59

Ah yes, thats a good one nh - giving up mumsnet or at least teh conception boards. I hit rock bottom a couple of months ago and stopped posting and it did help (its ahrd because everyone is so supportive but it makes you think far more about every twinge).

Original poster
lissie · 05/08/2007 22:59

ds is 2y 3m and im only 29. i suppose the last straw was doing a HPT today (as i now do after each bleed (just in case) and i cried with relief when a bfn popped up. in oct i also start clomid and i want to have a couple of "normal" months beforehand. we also move in sept.

i just feel that ive put my body thru an awful lot in a short space of time.

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Original poster
lissie · 05/08/2007 23:00

tbh have already cut out the ttc boards. just cant get excited about other peoples bfp's anymore!

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pipsqueeke · 05/08/2007 23:01

lissie - in the circs this is prob the best decision for you guys, as you say you've been thru a lot- have a lot going on over the next 2/3 months anyways aside from the clomid. and 29 isn't v old, neither is DS if you're moving as well a MN break might come in handy with the packing of boxes/internet being cut off etc.

Wheelybug · 05/08/2007 23:02

Well, if you're moving can you try and concentrate on that and maybe think of that as a new start ? Easier said than done I know.

(Oh and 29 is so young too ( I have just turned 32 so am sure 32 is so young too and you have 3 years on me !)

Am off to bed - not had much sleep this weekend for one reason or another (but not THAT reason I hasten to add). Catch up tomorrow...

Original poster
lissie · 05/08/2007 23:04

hmmm. dont know if i can handle an mn break... will miss you all too much.

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Wheelybug · 05/08/2007 23:08

Well in that case we'll all just promise to help you through the next couple of months. Just think of us all in 10 days time when you're thinking about it - that'll surely break the mood ?! . Sorry I know its not a flippant subject.

Keep posting - we'll get you through as best we can...

Original poster
lissie · 05/08/2007 23:10

lol, dh asked me today when my fertile days were and i told him i didnt know. this is the 1st month ive not worked it out! its quite liberating.

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lulumama · 05/08/2007 23:10

oh sweetheart....will do whatever i can to support you..it's a hard decision, but i beleive it is the right one..not saying you should never TTC again, but you need to give your body and your emotions a break..time is on your side, and i hope that in a few months time, things are better x

Original poster
lissie · 05/08/2007 23:14

thank you. tbh it feels like a weight has been lifted. and im just tired now!

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Original poster
lissie · 06/08/2007 09:14

well, told dh last night that i'd decided to have attc holiday and he agrees that its a good idea. that way we can go to the docs in oct with a more positive outlook. (and we can enjoy whats left of the summer)

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cedar12 · 06/08/2007 09:18

Lissie look after your self I think you are doing the best thing.

kensgirl · 06/08/2007 09:18

Oh, Lissie! I'll be there for you too, a couple of months is only a short time, maybe give you a little time to heal. But,whatever you decide to do will be hard, just go with your heart. Thinking of you xx

Original poster
lissie · 06/08/2007 09:19

thanks, how are you doing?

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kensgirl · 06/08/2007 09:39

A bit better I think, Lissie! A day at a time and all that. I'm trying to relax a bit more, and have some faith. And wine...

nh101 · 06/08/2007 11:44

I know what you mean about seeing other people bfp's Lissie! It is so hard. I feel that way too. My best friend told me Friday she is PG again (her DD is only seven months old as well) and I am just trying not to think about it.

torres · 06/08/2007 12:57

Oh lissie, I will be thinking of you over the next couple of months. I'm sure it will be tough not ttc but as you say, it could be liberating and if you see it as a time for getting in the best possible shape for a big dose of clomid and hopefully a BFP come october.

ronshar · 06/08/2007 13:03

Lissie I am with you every step of the way.
I have decided to stop ttc until at least Nov. I couldnt be arsed to discuss with dh as he doesnt really mind either way.
It is going to be odd trying not to ttc to be honest.
I have found it such a relief as now I am not searching every day for symptoms. That alone is fantastic.
Please do reach out for support. I have found it great to read every body elses post and be able sit back from it all, if you get what I mean. sorry to everyone else.
Big love and hugs to you Lissie. Be brave it will work out for you.