NOT TTC............. I NEED SUPPORT!

[lissie]

ok, so this is unusual but dh and i have decided after 2y of ttc our second child, 5 confirmed mc's and 1 ep to have a few months off and i need help. its like giving up smoking again. i want to ttc, every fibre of my body is shouting "what if this is the month that the one sticky egg is released" i'm also very aware that i only have one tube left so my fertlity has been halved. but i also only have one tube left. i cant afford another ep. dont think i could cope with another mc and we see our specialist on the 8th oct, 7d after my ep beans edd. i think we should wait til then and i need my ttc/mn buddies support and help to keep me on the straight and narrow!

Lissie - I just want to say that I agree that you are doing the right thing and that I will try to support you any way in which I can.

Poppy - you too!

So too all ttc-addicts who are taking a break - well done and good luck!

Lissie - it sounds like you have made the right decision and are comfortable with it. You have been through such a lot - I hope the break helps you to heal both physically and mentally.

October will be here before you know it.

i really am ok with it. see how i feel in 7d time tho

When af turns up you will feel liberated because you will be expecting her and so it wont hurt as much.
I always feel that it is the disappointment of af turning up that really affects me. It is only then that I feel sad, angry, let down, resentful etc!

Ditto ronshar. I always tell myself that am going to be fine, but never am. Well this month I am going to cos we haven't ttc. I'll probably STILL be disappointed though as am completely irrational.

im really wavering now. i will ov over the next couple of days and really want that magical BFP. keep thinking "what if this is the month it'll stick"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and i know that dh is still keen on ttc (obv)

How about not not trying.
Carry on bding as much as you like but purely for the sheer enjoyment. Do not think of dates or cm or legs up or anything. Just think of the enormous strength your relationship with dh will get from pure sex for fun not ttc.
Who knows that could be all the help you need.
I am just enjoying at the moment and to be honest it feels a little like it used to before mc ruined the joy.

might do that. tbh, think this months a no go anyway. still far too ill.

I hope it isnt anything too horrible and you feel better soon.
Bding with a ruuny nose isnt that attractive is it?

no, not really how are you doing? been avoiding the ttc boards, what have i missed?

I don't post much because I never think anybody will be interested in what I have to say but in this case I have to! Lissie, if you feel this is the right thing to do (and you'll KNOW deep down) then you have to do it. GIve yourself some time to recharge and feel positive again then see how you feel. You have a date to aim for, which should help you keep on track! Take lots of care, look after you and yours and keep talking to us! You've given lots of people so much support that you need to take some back now.

i think you're right. i do know that i need a break, even if its only a month, im exhausted.

im fed up of sticking pillows under my bum after sex.
im fed up of having sex to order.
im fed up of panicking about eating/drinking in my 2ww
im fed up of avoiding sex in my 2ww
im fed up of scrutinising OPK's and HPT's
im fed up of sh*tting myself when/if a line appears.
im fed up of analysing every twinge/ache/spot of blood
and more than that im fed up of taking HPTs after every bleed and being relieved when its a BFN.

it shouldnt be like this!

Lissie - Your list made me chuckle (not sure if that is the reaction you hoped for ) but I was nodding along to all of it.

I am fed up with not working out in the 2ww in case I cause a miscarriage. I am fed up with not eating goats cheese in the 2ww and I'm fed up with feeling like a chump for worrying about it all when the inevitable happens and CD1 rolls round like clockwork!

This month not trying will probably be good for me. At least for 2 weeks I won't be thinking am I/aren't I? Hope you are ok?

Lissie please dont beat yourself up about it all. Have the break you intended. The more you get stressed the worse it will all end up.
I am speaking from hard experience. My dh & I stopped haveing sex. We both agreed it was pointless as I wasnt getting pregnant when we were doing at the right time!!!!
Ever since then it has been more regular and so much more fun because we(that means me actually) are not constantly checking pants, dates, colour of the sky in the morning. All these things just add up to misery.
Did you see Ellieg got a bfp finally some good news. And do you know she had decided at the beginning of July to stop ttc. Well just the mad stuff not the constant bding if you know what I mean

lol ikwym.

Hello Lissie

Just popped in and saw all the new messages. I did chuckle about the fed-up with's totally know where you are coming from. It has been really hard to try and not think about ttc but I've been making myself really busy.

Got a promotion at work, have booked an activity holiday for later in the year and have arranged to meet up with all the friends that I haven't seen in a long time. Still get low days when I want to start ttc but trying to be strong!!!

I tried reki (not sure on the spelling) after 6 months of ttc to also move on from m/c I had two sessions and found it amazing. Be strong and have fun love poppy

Whoops forgot to say a big hello to all the others on the thread, glad to know there are people out there going through the same things