TTC First Baby Thread 22

[MrsH497]

Thought the old one was getting a bit full so I'd start a new one. I'll attempt tagging as many as I can
@Larrydavid @Anny27 @cupcakesandglitter @flossy12 @DuchessofPemberley @ELW85 @Lemonysherbet @LokiCat @Lottiepink @Lozzlepop @MIW01 @whatsthecraic91 @ValidUser

If I've missed anyone sorry!

@Absa massive congratulations lovely how are you feeling?

@XjustagirlX did you do another test?

How is everyone else this weekend? Called to chase up my referral yesterday to be told there was nobody there and to call back on Monday but they don’t have the phone number, Frustrating is an understatement plus it’s awkward trying to find a quiet spot at work to call from 😬

@ValidUser how are you getting on?

@Lozzlepop definitely frustrating! We received our appointment letter today 4th Dec.

Has anyone heard of being prescribed Clomid even though I ovulate? I remembered our GP talking about it and assumed it was only for woman who don't ovulate? But now upon doing a little research I've read it can help with follicles (not sure what they are) and somehow releasing stronger eggs??

@Lozzlepop ye I did another test and it was negative. AF is due today and I’ve had some spotting so I think I’m out this month. My bbt has been slowly dropping but isn’t below the cover line yet. I’m trying to decide whether to pay for some fertility tests to check if everything is ok. DH thinks we should just pay for them to put our minds at rest or to find out earlier if there are issues. I’m moving into cycle 4 of actually trying. What do you guys think?

@Kiza I don't know a lot about it but have heard of women who ovulate talking clomid. Interesting to see what what your consultants thinking behind it is if they take you down this route.

@XjustagirlX cycle 4 is still early but I totally understand why you might want to pay for early testing as it quickly becomes frustrating when it doesn't happen. Do you have any reason to think there may be any issues?

@XjustagirlX I agree with @orangeloo that cycle 4 is still very early but it depends on your cash flow.
If we were able to we would have tested around 6 month mark given our ages and previous MC but we just financially couldn't. If you have concerns and can afford it then there's no harm I suppose?

@orangeloo yeah I'm intrigued to see what they say. Our letter says the first appointment will only be 20 minutes so I wonder if they will just ask if anything has changed since we saw the GP then book is both in for more testing before discussing treatments?

@Kiza that’s great that you have it through, how long did you wait for it to arrive?

@XjustagirlX sorry to hear that lovely. I agree with @Kiza and @orangeloo that it’s still early days, I personally would give it another couple of cycles as it is a lot of money to pay out. We were discussing private tests last night but we just aren’t in the position to be able to afford it.

@lozzlepop @kiza @orangeloo I think there may be something wrong as I have had two very long cycles. I assumed it was because I was ill around ovulation but on both times I also had some spotting mid cycle. I have also never smoked or drank and I’ve got a healthy BMI which makes me think something more serious may be wrong. I am also a worrier.

It is still early but what is stressing me out is the worry that something may be wrong. If the tests show that we are both fine then hopefully my mind will be put at rest and I can be of the attitude it will just happen when it happens.

It doesn’t help that one close friend started trying at the same time as us and got pregnant on cycle 2. And this weekend I found out another friend is pregnant.

@XjustagirlX how long were they? You've probably already said sorry but are you recently off contraception before trying? What have your other cycles been like?

@orangeloo I came off the pill in February this year. My cycles have been 34, 30, 37, 30, 32, 52, 43. So it looks like my cycles were a normal length until these last two.

@XjustagirlX personally I think I would see how long this cycle is. But it's worth seeing your gp first before paying out. They might be happy to do some initial tests.

@Kiza my understanding is that clomid can help with low progesterone as well as anovulation

@XjustagirlX 4 cycles is still relatively early but due to our family history we got tests done right away. If they all came back good we probably would have waited before TTC but because they came back we both have a little something wrong we thought we best just crack on with it! We're now on cycle 5 and I'm starting to feel really anxious it just won't happen for us, even though I know technically it's still early days.

One thing I have learned over and over from the research I've been doing is that the biggest factor in infertility is stress! This could be physical or mental as let's face it, last time I checked our brain is attached to us so they are one and the same. So the biggest advice I'm seeing over and over is to reduce stress, which I know is easier said than done. But feeling anxious and worrying about it all definitely won't help any of us!

Random post but need some advice, my friend has booked for me and all the girls to go to scare fest in Wakefield, I'm not a vey 'scare easy' person, but it says that pregnant women shouldn't go, I'm only going to be 11+3 so it shouldn't be too bad surely? I'm guessing it is relating to heavily pregnant women?

Anyone got any advice? Don't want to be a kill joy 😩

(Posted elsewhere also)

@flossy12 i wouldnt go! I have turned down something similar as i didnt want any additional stress for baby

Your choice though i guess many pregnant people still do to jump scare things!

@flossy12 personally I wouldn't go. You'd probably be fine- but I wouldn't want to take a risk.

Hi ladies,

@MIW01 Well said, I could not have put it better myself, my friend and I were discussing this on Friday she said when she relaxed her approach and wasn't stressing about it thats when she fell pregnant!

@XjustagirlX it can take a while for your cycle to regulate depending on how long you were on the pill for. Did anything significant happen those 2 months it was much longer that could explain a longer cycle?

@flossy12 I would stick to the advice and not go, better to be safe than sorry.

Well I called the hospital today, glad to say that they have our referral and we should be seen early December. The nurse was so lovely on the phone and said that the letter should come in the next few weeks but that if it doesn't to call back and she will chase it up for us. So happy to hear we are on the system and that the ball is finally rolling 😊

How's everyone doing?

@lozzlepop for both of my long cycles I did get ill (a cold) around ovulation. Do it might have been that.

@orangeloo I could try the doctors but I just feel like they will say it’s early come back in 6 months.

@MIW01 everyone says I should just relax. I don’t have a stressful job and there is nothing stressful happening in my life at the moment which is good. How do I reduce TTC stress. I want to continue doing bbt and ovulation tracking for data purposes. I suppose I just need to focus my energy and thoughts on something else. Any other ideas to relax?

@XjustagirlX maybe see how this cycle goes but your gp should have something to say and perhaps do some form of tests if they don't level out soon. as anything over 35 days isn't a normal cycle. It could well be down to you being ill. FX for a shorter one this cycle. I find exercise and making time for things you enjoy are best for de- stressing.

I have had a lot of stress in the last year and I also find focusing on not being stressed is in fact stressful in itself . so i do things to help me relax and try just take each day as it comes and whatever life may through at you n not dwell on the things that are stressful. Oh and don't be afraid of saying no to things.

@XjustagirlX this is such an individual thing for everyone as @Lozzlepop said, there's so many stories where couples give up TTC then it just happens! And @orangeloo is spot on, stressing about stressing and 'doing more' to de-stress just defeats the object.

I'm no expert but personally I think nutrition is a great place to start. Make sure you are eating real food! Cut the CRAP (caffeine, refined sugar, alcohol, processed food) as these all put hug stress on your body. Supplement wise I take Ashwaganda and Maca.

When it comes to rest and relaxation I think the best thing is not to do but just be! Allow yourself real time to rest and not do anything. Your body needs this to feel "safe" enough to give the energy for reproduction.

I was the above to manage my ME and my friends who have ME who've got pregnant and have kids have passed on this advice to me!

@MIW01 you just reminded me I bought Ashwaghanda a couple of months ago and it's in the back of the cupboard! Thanks for the reminder 😄 and also the info re: clomid.

@Lozzlepop glad you got an answer, looks like we will have our appointments around the same time ☺️

Hi ladies, how are we all? I have been off the conception boards for a couple of months, I recognise some names & I see there has been a lot of BFPs! Congrats to all!

My last message pretty much said we were moving house & taking a break from TTC, which we have been doing we are still having unprotected DTD when we want to not scheduled (!!) but I’m not tracking or obsessing! My mental state is definitely a lot better!

But I just want a bit of advice! I am only logging my AF on the apps - I’m not tracking ovulation or anything. Today I have had the sorest nipples - like excruciating - I went on my app to see where I am and today is my Predicted ovulation day! Why are my nipples so sore!! I’ve never had this before any other cycle - what does it mean!?

I don't know if anyone remembers me, but I've been staying away from these threads for a few months to try to r e l a x and let things just h a p p e n n a t u r a l l y ... an approach which has cheerfully failed me!

I went to the Conception board to start a depressing new thread about the fact that this month was officially 1 year of TTC ... then I saw this thread and recognised a few names! Sorry to hear you're still up shit creek, long-timers.

Age 27
Cycle 12
CD 6

There is something about one year that feels heavy and pertinent. Not depressing, desperate and sad like at 9 months when you think This is when I should have had a baby! - but somehow more serious and worse. A year is when healthy, young couples should start to worry. A year is when you start to tally up the drinks you've deprived yourself, the jobs you've not pursued and the opportunities to travel you've not seized.

At the risk of sounding dramatic, I am seriously thinking that I will never have a baby. I've always felt like I watch life from behind a glass screen, things happen to other people but never to me. Maybe this is just one more thing.

I have lobbed myself into the gym as a distraction and something to focus on in absence of a BFP and with plenty of smug happy pregnant women around me!

@MIW01 I love this about what you put about doing nothing and allowing your body to feel safe. I agree and am going to do more of this!

@whatsthecraic91 I have sore nipples too atm and am ovulating it's a normal ovulation symptom I think.

@PaintingOwls bless you, sounds like you having a bad time atm. On Thursday & Friday I cried about six times about babies or lack of. Don't worry about sounding dramatic, you're not being dramatic- it's shit. I too have had the thoughts that it happens too everyone but me and find it comforting to know others sometime feel this. However the rational side of me- as quiet as she sometimes is. Says I don't really have good enough reason to think this yet. Babies happen to people a lot! even people who have had fertility issues and problems for years. So you can't give up hope ever. Allow yourself to feel sad and then get on with the gym and ttc and life. And about holding back with travel and opportunity etc I have told myself in the last month I must stop doing this because if it doesn't happen anytime soon we can't let life pass waiting. We all need to keep living and hopefully we'll get our two lines somewhere along the way. X

@PaintingOwls also welcome back and I remember you haha

Hello @PaintingOwls welcome back. @orangeloo @Lozzlepop @whatsthecraic91 @Kiza @XjustagirlX and anyone else this applies to! You all have my deepest empathy how shit it is no matter how long you've been trying.

My family are like fertility factories and it is absolutely demoralising that DP and I both have fertility issues! DP was conceived despite his parents using hormonal, barrier AND spermicide methods! My Mum had 4 (1 aborted) accidents, my sister had an accident and my SIL had 2 accidents (1 aborted) + 1 planned conceived without trying cycle 1. So I'm surrounded by a certain type of attitude towards reproduction!

So now for a happy story to cheer everyone up this chilly Tuesday morning! My friend with ME I mentioned earlier was trying for 1 year, she used all the OPKs, BBT tracking etc. And nothing. So after a year of actively trying they decided to take a break from TTC but continued to have unprotected sex and bam! The very next month she was pregnant!

@PaintingOwls I remember you I think we were on the June bus together, we have been doing the same, yes these threads are so so supportive and I love that but at the same time you see everyone getting their BFPs and it makes you wonder when your turn is going to be! It really messed with me but I’m in a better place now.

Age 28
Cycle 10
CD 18

@MIW01 that’s the approach we are taking at the minute and have been the last 2 cycles no luck yet but hoping for a BFP for Christmas/New year or its off to the GP as it will be officially a year. But my mental state is far better and TTC hasn’t been consuming me like it had been.