calling older mums who are ttc or ttc again (and it has been awhile with no luck yet)

[bobbydazzler]

Hi,

I know these threads have started and ended before but i think that there are quite a few of us around at the moment, Ms Lucy, Tinbus,Anniemac, me, I'm sure there are others?

Wondered whether you wanted to join me if you started out quite optimistic and are now finding that it might not be as easy as you first thought.

My story in a nutshell is that I had my first at 34/35, had no problems.

started trying again at 36 (nearly 37). Now approaching 38 and have had no luck and have just started getting me and DH checked out.

If that sounds familiar and you would like to hang out on this thread, I would be delighted to hear from you.

And, if anyone was in a similiar position and then everything worked out, would be REALLY great to hear those stories to.

Thanks x

Hi Bobbydazzler,

We went for the tests. DH little wrigglers were fine but it appeared I wasn't ov. Prescribed clomid which I collect on the Friday (said to Dr I was a week late at this point) she said not to worry just to start it at beginning of next one. On the Sunday came over all wierd when chopping up onions for a BBQ and DH said ' you're not pg are you?'
I said 'Don't be so bloody stupid!' Did a test and got a BFP. Didn't even suspect as had no other real signs. After that the sore (.)(.) really kicked in.
Have no idea if I am ov now. That's why I bought some OPKs. I wish I'd known about something like MN when I was trying to conceive last time.

Cannot believe I have not already joined this thread.

Am 38 later this year. Have DD (3.3) - conceived naturally after two years of ttc (and after some private investigations incl lap and dye). Main reasons for wanting another are sibling for DD (who wants a sister called Angelina!) and wanting not to feel so precious about DD (we are in danger of becoming classic parents of an only child).

Been ttc on and off for last 18 months or so but haven't been on contraception for six years so something is not right though no adverse test results so far. Seeing consultant (NHS) in mid-Sep (only saw GP yesterday). NHS reportedly has to see you in 12 weeks (someone else wrote that thay have to wait six months to see someone so thought I'd mention that). Having done the private thing, the wait for an appt was about the same for private appts if not longer (as consultants so busy/also have NHS commitments).

Hi everyone. Haven't been around for alittle while been too busy . Trying to be positive but it is not easy- pregnant people everywhere!!

Know what you mean about pregnant people everywhere. Almost all my mum friends are done (having had 2 or 3 children now while I still have one) and when I was at dr's yesterday a bunch of mums arrived (for midwife appts). Friends occasionally ask (nicely) if we have plans for another one and I say we would love another one. They tend not to ask again, which is fine, but I get slightly annoyed at the thought that people think I am happy with only one or that this is my plan.

Had to chuckle at comments on thread re: bellies. I also have been hoping that pregnancy would give an excuse to not do anything about the stubborn half a stone I should lose! Am back on the treadmill now as lots of exercise helped me conceive dd.

Hi Newkid, do you think exercise can help? Ive been running ever other day for 3 weeks now so fingers crossed .

I'm 41 I've been ttc since the beginning of the year but no joy. First time I didn't even think about it and was pregnant, which gives me a problem with DH this time cos he thinks it will happen regardless of how ancient I am!

I don't know about exercise helping but I'm sure it doesn't hurt if in moderation.

Moderate regular exercise keeps you healthy and that must be a good thing!

Not that i do it hence comments below re belly

I was doing it more before i had ds1 and also at that time i was really slim so sometimes think that will help. Then the rational part of me thinks that all i need to do is shift a few pounds and those few pounds won't be stopping me conceiving. My BMI is well within the healthy range so i don't think it is a problem.

I have become addicted to MN recently and do think if i spent less time on here and more exercising it would be better all round but can't see me breaking the addiction for awhile yet!

Before I conceived last time i was doing much more exercise. But I was the same weight as now which is far too high BMI in the unhealthy range, but it didn't cause a problem last time. My other cunning plan is to stop drinking (at least in the week) but I haven't managed it yet!!

The only way I can do exercise is if i do it 1st thing before I have the day to think up excuses for not to do any

Yeah, I have a cunning plan to go on my lunch hour, there is a gym just accross the road, however i spend so much time during working hours on mumsnet that i feel guilty and think i must just grab a very quick lunch!

HELP I AM AN ADDICT!

Thought I would add my sil's story and hope it helps. She ttc with her first husband for five years, but with no luck. She and my brother started trying soon after they got together but after over a year without success she gave up charting her dates and decided it was never going to happen. Two months later she realised af hadn't arrived, did a test and it was a bfp! She is 44 and her baby is due three months from now, so please don't give up hope. She is proof that you can never be sure that it's too late.

I am in a similar situation to you, bobbydazzler. I had ds at 37, no problems at all conceiving or with the pg, but am now 42 and have had two missed mcs in the past year. Am having a break from ttc at the moment to get my head together, but am taking heart from this thread. I hope some good luck comes your (and others in similar situations) way very soon.

OMG, I'm 36 nxt month, DS is 6mo now and conceived first month trying, so assumed it would be as easy next time and have been glibly deciding which month I'd like no.2 to be born, so we'd know when to start trying. should we just start trying now then seeing as we're fairly happy to have 2 close together if it turns out that way?? - just incase it turns out to take much longer? I didn't think it mightn't be so easy next time. hope you don't mind me coming on here!

my company blocks anything that isn't work related and send emails to HR if yo are looking at stuff you shouldn't be!!! so I avoid the temptation to look at mumsnet, I just spend my time checking the news on the bbc cos I can get on that site!

I wouldn't worry about it what ever gets you through the day. I just can't concentrate at work cos I keep thinking about ttc . Not helped by my colleague (who is lovely BUT) is going on maternity leave at the end of the week so she is in full baby baby mode.

bearsmoms thanks for the story about you SIL that gives me hope.

yes thanks bearsmum and very best wishes to you

hedgepig, i can't concentrate either at mo on anything other than ttc hence the MN addiction. I am slightly worried that my work is suffering but at same time too consumed with TTC to care.

oh dear, it is not good is it. Think I should take a break or at least limit myself to out of hours.

coolie, i blithley assumed i would have no probs second time round and so did put it off deliberatly till the gov extended the smp rates from 6 to 9 months in april 06, now regretting doing so, so if you don't mind having two close together then i would say go for it and good luck.

My DD just 9 months old, I'm 37 didn't really want another one until she is 2 but I'm getting worried and broody. Conceived the first month of trying for DD at 35. Concerned my fertility has fallen off the cliff. Should we throw caution to the wind. Thought we should start ttcing in January but worried about miscarriage rates and abnormality rates. So the same as Choolie.

hi Choolie & Tapster

I would agree with BobbyD if you and your partner can cope with 2 close together then go for it. We waited so long cos my DH just couldn't cope with the idea of another until this year (long commute etc) and now I think we have left it too late, but I have a lovely son so must could my blessings.

Don't blame us when you both conceive within the first month of trying again

Hedgepig hope you get there again, never say never is my latest motto!

thanks for the advice. best get the legs waxed again then!
seriously, best of luck to all of you who are ttc at the moment, i really hope things work out and we chat again on a "due in..." thread soon.

Think we are going to try ttcing again in January, may even have a few drinks at Christmas but still BFing my daughter. I was planning to give up when she turned one but its only 2.5 months away and I'm not sure I can do it. 2/3rds of babies self wean when you become pregnant I think. Haven't told DH seriously considering BFing past a year

I hope you don't mind me joining. It is great to hear of other older TTC'ers. We are not alone. I am nearly 35 and TTC no.3. I had first DD at 22 and second at 26. We have been trying for past few months. My cycles are regular, but a little strange. I buying some ov stick to help me.

Both DD's were conceived on first cycle, but this is taking a bit longer than I expected.

DH is also impatient now, which does not help when you are inpatient yourself.

I get this strange feeling that my family in England will be shocked if we do conceive no.3. I live in a lovely relaxed environment, with lovely weather and beautiful landscapes and I think that it would be an ideal place and time to conceive no.3.

Hi Tapster,

My son self weaned at 8 months, I was not pregnant but I had cut him down from 6 months onwards to just giving him morning and night breast feeds and bottle feeds during the day. I did this cos I was returning to work and there was nowhere apart from the toilets (!) were I could express, which I never really liked doing anyway.

He took to the bottle quite happily, so although I LOVED breast feeding and was sad when he was no longer interested it all worked out well for me going back to work.

Twinklewishes, where do you live? make us jealous!

I used Persona first time round when I conceived DD in the first month. Partly because I can't take the pill anymore - I just bleed during the cycle no matter which pill I'm on. Would like to use Persona again but I don't think it will work if BFing.

No sign of DD self weaning... oh hum.. Read alot of posts of people finding it difficult to get a BFP second time round at our age, thinking maybe we should start earlier.

I know, i really thought it would be nice to have a sept baby next, so thought we'd start trying from our 2nd anniversary and over christmas/new year - just assuming we'd fall pg first month again! how naive am i?!! am still bf too, DS 6mo on thurs and like you tapster, no sign of giving up yet. I'm really proud to have got this far and now don't want to stop until DS is ready, but as he is still feeding through the night and no return of periods so far, then looks like he's not ready to share me with another bub just yet! - i've heard of a few people getting pg whilst still bf, but i keep reading that it's best as a contraceptive when you are still feeding regularly through the night, which [big sigh] i am. sods law, those who want it as a contraception get pg, those who don't it's 100%. good luck, let us know how you get on.

Hi Choolie, well done on feeding this long. I found once I dropped the bf for the night feeds my cycles got back to normal. so that would agree with what you are read. he will stop feeding in the night my ds didn't until 7-8 months )and then through the night was until 5:30 to 6am!!)

Now he is nearly 4 I can't wake him up in the morning!!

Hello to all you older mums out there.

Just thought i would revive this thread to let you know i got a BFP this evening.

I have had a roller coaster week and a bit.

I got really excited this time last week as hoped that might be pregnant, tested on day 28 and got BFN.

Retested on day 30 and still BFN.

Retested day 35 and finally (after 15 months TTC)I have my BFP .

My period is normally 26 or 27 days so could not understand why it was so late and still getting BFN's but thought maybe i was really stressing myself out and preventing it starting so still can't believe I have finally made it to a BFP. So happy and so scared for the bean as well.

Congratulations!