calling older mums who are ttc or ttc again (and it has been awhile with no luck yet)

[bobbydazzler]

Hi,

I know these threads have started and ended before but i think that there are quite a few of us around at the moment, Ms Lucy, Tinbus,Anniemac, me, I'm sure there are others?

Wondered whether you wanted to join me if you started out quite optimistic and are now finding that it might not be as easy as you first thought.

My story in a nutshell is that I had my first at 34/35, had no problems.

started trying again at 36 (nearly 37). Now approaching 38 and have had no luck and have just started getting me and DH checked out.

If that sounds familiar and you would like to hang out on this thread, I would be delighted to hear from you.

And, if anyone was in a similiar position and then everything worked out, would be REALLY great to hear those stories to.

Thanks x

I'm also proof there's fertile life after 40....got pregnant twice on first try at 32 and 41 and now again at 43 after six months.

It took me ages to get broody again after my first and then hubby wasn't up for it - took a year of gentle persuasion!

So you are all mere babies compared to me and this should give you hope

Hi Bobbydazzler

Do say hi to anyone who remembers me from Mothers35plus. I was Josie/Jo on there - 5 years ago or so. Maggie will probably be around still and maybe Judy or Andrea. It used to be a lovely supportive site with some great true life stories too.

Thirtyplus - I think I found Marianne someone advisiung on nutrition and conception. I remember Brazil nuts being recommended. Bobbydazzler might be able to find something on her on Mothers35plus. It could be worth googling too. Basically lots of minerals, viatmins and fresh green veg - no smoking and very little alcohol - lots of power walking and exercise too. You could try your local library too - perhaps Gillian McKeith if you feel brave enough.

Best of luck.

Well I am in the same sad boat. Had 3 children grown now, with ex hubby, last one took 7 months to coceive and I was a young 25 then. Now I have new DH and he has never had any...he is 40. We have been ttc for 13 months now and no luck..I have taken every vitamen and tried everything except for assisted conception which he doesn't want to try yet, we both just switched jobs. I was hoping the job switch for me would take my mind off things but now just sad that we have so much money and no little baby to buy things and plan for. I would do anything in the world for a BFP! My hormones are fine, it's "unexplained." I'm still trying not to give up hope but I've almost run out of tears each time AF comes, I just expect it now and would probably drop dead of shock if it EVER happened I just had my 39th birthday a few weeks ago and spent the entire day crying on the couch because of the age and being scared of infertility There are alot of us out there, we need to support eachother...good luck to all.

Aw Wishing1 don't give up yet. A close friend of mine had a miscarriage at 43 and gave up all hope, then conceived naturally at 45. I believe that there is evidence that until the 20th century, when advice about contraception became more widely understood, women regularly conceived until late in their forties, on much less healthy diets than us. Childbirth was more dangerous then but for those who survived it, then it seems that it was quite normal for women to keep on having children. It's only recently that this pressure of being an older woman trying to conceive has come upon us. Keep hopeful, Hon!

wendyredhead I love your story!!!!!

Have you found it harder being pregnant in your forties? when is your third due?

Notquitegrownup interesting theory about women in days gone by popping out babies well into their forties!

How are all the 30 something ttcers this evening? I am good as me, DH and DS are enjoying a long weekend at my folks house in Ireland.

It has coincided with the right time of the month for me and i am feeling very relaxed so here is hoping!

going to go and check out the mothers35plus.com site now i think.

x

Just had a recent pap and docs office called to tell me that I have an infection...they are putting me on meds...maybe this is what has kept me from conceiving...wishing thinking that maybe after this clears up..I will conceive. Here's to another wasted month.

by the way, thanks for the hopeful words, it's just all becoming too much to handle anymore, I seriously believe it will never happen again

wishing1 ? I wanted to send you some good wishes in support. I hope you are feeling better today. Your postings are sad and I recognise so well that feeling of powerlessness, desperation and grief.

I wish someone could wave a magic wand for you. Until that time though, know that I will be keeping my fingers tightly crossed not only that you conceive but that you get through with as little heartache as possible.

Good luck with the treatment. Hard as it is, you really just never know.

boozle:
thanks for your kind words and wishes, just finished AF today and starting meds tomorrow, had to stop the car and cry today because I saw a lady drive by with a car seat in the back and a little blonde boy sitting in it maybe that will be me soon. Until then for all of us we can just hope and pray that sooner or later it will be our month.

wishing1: Yes, it hopefully will be your month soon, so hold tight to that thought and keep your chin up as best you can!

If it's any consolation, I too will be "missing" a month this month since, due to a stupid miscalculation of dates on my part, I will be away from my DH at the critical time. I was really disappointed when I first realised, but as I now can?t do anything about it, I am trying my level best to turn it to my advantage by seeing it as a time to recharge my batteries and relax before starting afresh. Let?s face it: everyone says that relaxing is one of the best things we can do.

After a long time trying, m/c and giving up when I hit 40 (well trying to accept that it wasn't going to happen) I had ds1 at 42 and Ds2 at 43!
I am sure it only happened because I stopped stressing about getting pg but trying to accept that a m/c could be my only experence of pg was a very very sad time indeed.
Sounds like I am a tie with Evenhope, turning 44 with a 2 month old.
37 isn't that late.
Good luck.

Ds turned up when I was 34 with zero (well, almost zero!)effort, but I just couldn't conceive again. I thought I would go mad, and eventually the fertility clinic sent me a letter saying I would never have another child, but I may like to avail myself of their counselling service at £90 per half hour. I cried for two weeks. The next month I was pregnant with dd, born five years after ds.

just wanted to thank Fircone and Flibbergibbet for sharing stories which eventually both had very positive outcomes for them!

Fircone, very insensitive of that clinic!

from personal point of view have had day 3 blood result back which was ok and DH has had one troops test done which was also ok, off to see a consultant on 23rd August and then need to arrange the dreaded HSG this month if not pregnant.

have felt very relaxed and had lots of shagging so maybe just maybe won't need to see consultant or have hsg but if do need it then will have to think about all the stories have heard about shiny new tube and increasing chances of conception in 3 months thereafter

I'm a bit late to this thread, but would like to join in.

Have a ds who is 3.8. I'm 40 and TTC number 2. I m/c nearly two years ago, and have had a couple of times since where I thought early on that I was pg, but I guess it just didn't form or implant properly.

One of my problems is that I am quite overweight, and I know that if I lose some weight it would improve my chances - it's all very well knowing that, but doing something about it is proving far harder!

It took us 18 months to conceive ds, so I know it could be a long wait for us again, but it's really encouraging to read of other "oldies" who have been successful, as I sometimes think I will just be trying and trying and one day it will just be too late.

Hi NoNickname and welcome,

Knwo what you mean about motivating yourself to do something. I am not overweight as such, but i have a sedentary job and sit on my arse 5 days a week at a desk and do not exercise and i know it is really unhealthy but can't motivate myself to exercise as well as do my job and look after my DS.

Did you get any reason last time round why it took 18 months?

good luck to you with trying.

We had just got dh's wrigglers checked out (no probs) and were going back to the docs to get me checked out when I fell pg - doctor told us it happens all the time. I guess it was just a case of that was how long it was going to take us. I did lose a stone in weight in the month before I fell though, and I am pretty sure that helped - that's why I am sure I need to do it again!

well there you go then! that should be a big motivator?

Easier said than done I know.

I'm going to get some exercise tomorrow, don't have a problem on a saturday, just the rest of the week that is an issue!

hiya bobbydazzler.

I'm afraid I bottled the HSG on Wed.

DH had talked me into a couple of shags over the weekend and I just couldn't sign the form that said you could certify you're not pg.

So I've got to go next cycle.

I was - and still am - dreading the test - even though friends of mine say it's ok.

On a more positive note, have signed myself up for a pilates class starting in Sept to deal with my hideous stomach.

Assumed I'd be pg and therefore no point in doing anything - no sign of pg so might as well sort out hideous stomach.

it's my birthday on Mon - 37.

Am I still mid or is that officially late 30s?

Hi Lucy,

I posted back to you in the caravan.

My stomach is also my problem area, the rest of me is quite thin. But have also noticed really that what used to be quite contained cellulite situation has massively expanded which is a sign of getting older and that i am a lazy cow who does no exercise. Before I had DS i did used to exercise although was never what you would call a fanatic.

good for you for signing up for pilates, probably a good stress buster as well.

Happy birthday for Monday, your still definately mid thirties!

I bet the HSG won't be half as bad as we are thinking it will be. I just want to get it done now. What was your FSH, mine was 7.3. Apparently getting it done on just one month is not necessarily representative, it is like the sperm one which should be done a few times i think. DH seemed very pleased with his result!

dunno, they just said they were all fine.
dh has to talk to them about his spunk -they wouldn't tell me.
feeling a bit giddy and very sleepy as just been drinking pink champagne - hic.

Morning,

Pink champagne sounded good! I went out last night for a late meal with DH and his brother. My DS is over in Ireland staying with my Mum and Dad so i am a lady of relative leisure currently. He comes back with my Mum tomorrow evening.

I was driving last night so confined myself to one white wine spritzer of which I only drank half, my tolerance level has plummeted since i had my ds and most of the time i don't fancy alcohol now, although i do enjoy champers if it is offered to me!

I insisted on getting a print out of my results and DH's from the GP's so I can take them with me to the consultants.

You mentioned that you thought that your DH might have issues with his sperm, hope all ok there when you get to talk to them about it. My DH (who is doctor) reckons that you should not set too much store by the results of one test, so try not worry if it is not optimum as it might not really mean anything until he has had a few. I think timing of when it is done is important as well and should be 3 to 5 days after sex whereas we hadn't done it for a couple of weeks when dh did his which might have made his results look better than they might have been. I'm going to ask the consultant when we see her.

Should go and do something constructive, have done bugger all while my ds has been away, thought i would get lots of jobs done but it hasn't happened.

Hi
Bobbydazzler - I think I have already met you on another thread very similar to this one but for the sake of others, my story is this: Had dd when I had just turned 37, in 2005. She was conceived very quickly - thought it would take ages and was stunned when it happened immediately. Started ttc no 2 last year, in Oct/Nov time. 5 months later - BFP; am now 24 weeks and due at the start of Dec - I am 39 years old. Feel very lucky that it happened again so quickly (although 5 months of trying felt like forever at the time) and hope this helps.

Good luck everyone.

Hi Claraq,

I am very pleased for you and also very jealous .

We must have had our first children at around the same time, my ds born Jan 05.

I started TTC again before you, last August and i'm still trying!

but glad you posted as maybe there are alot of people out their who conceive late 30's with no probs and therefore don't feel the need to post on threads such as these.

I know someone I work with who was the age i am now when she had her first DS a couple of months after me. She had her second about two months or so ago, so no probs for her either.

Good luck with your second.

Hi,
Can I please join in this thread also?
I'm approaching 38 and have been ttc #2 for only a couple of months now, but it took me over 3 years to conceive DS. I was 34 when I had him and he is now 3.4.
I know I haven't been trying long this time but knowing how long it took me with DS I can empathise with some of you.
Taking this month off ttc as I have had more problems with my back (had spinal surgery back in May as a result of my first pregnancy). God only knows why I am trying again. But then again DS would love a sibling and he has told me SHE will be called Becky Tucker!!!! Well here's hoping we will all get our BFP very soon.
Nice to see some familiar names from other threads.
Take care
LL xx

Hi Libralady

I actually thought you were already on this one. It is hard to keep track!

did you get any reasons why it took 3 years last time? were you considering any treatment when you fell pregnant?

How is everyone else doing?

Lucy did you have a good b'day?

x