Starting IVF

[Lily999]

Anyone is about to embark on this rather stressful journey? We are awaiting for our first consultation after being referred to the clinic back in June. Have mixed feelings as I am excited and can't wait to start, but also nervous and stressed out at the same time! Would love to have cycle buddies in this madness!

I'm going to order that Get a Life book. I read The Underachieving Ovary which is a funny memoir of someone undergoing IVF, it was a nice easy read and funny too.

Good morning girls, hope everyone is doing well. @iwanttohaveababy how did your appointment go yesterday?
@torthecatlady I know what you mean, I hate sitting around and waiting, that's the absolute worst part of this. We are planning on having 2with a small age gap in between, then we will see what happens....
I got a call from the doctor regarding mt HSG and was told that there is some fluid in one of my tubes. Apparently this is very bad news as this liquid can leak into the uterus and wash out the embryo. So she suggested I get that tube clipped to prevent the liquid getting into the uterus. I have been freaking out about this the entire weekend and can't seem to come in terms with it. I have never in my life had surgery of any kind before, have no scars and it also scares me. I believe I am not a paranoid person, but things go wrong during surgeries all the time and I really don't like the idea of them poking around my ovaries and uterus, but I think I need to accept that it's necessary.
Apparently the waiting time for the surgery is 12weeks and this is likely to set the whole IVF back. I am hoping next week when we have our first appointment for IVF we can discuss what would be the best way forward. I don't know if that's possible, but I am hoping they will let me go ahead with IVF up until egg collection, then freeze them all.
That way we will already have the embryos all ready, then I could do the tube clipping surgery and then have the embryo transfer after. Does it seem like a reasonable request?

@Lily999 I am so sorry for the bad news, it totally sucks! If I was you I would wait for the 15th Aug and speak to the doctors who should give you the most accurate information. If you can't wait, book an appointment with a private fertility specialist (a lot of them work with NHS as well) to get a second opinion and for a peace of mind. Also, maybe you should read about the difference between fully removing and clipping the Fallopian tubes, side effects, pros and cons? Your requests sounds reasonable to me and i fully understand where you are coming from (waiting is the worst, period) but the doctors might not agree with you. But who knows! You just have to wait and see :( I feel for you, infertility SUCKS!!!! Thank you for recommending the book, i started reading it and i can find myself in each sentence. Its crazy how we all experience the same and its good to know we are not alone. So whatever you need- feel free to message me, I am here for you!
My appointment went well. They did a scan, everything was ok, she even found follicles in both my ovaries which means i will be ovulating from both this month- crazy! That's how twins are made but we got bad swimmers- no chance at all :( She showed us a long list of clinics we had to pick from and we had to pick straight away- we didn't get the chance to research or find out about success rates... Thankfully we knew one of the clinics because we went there privately a few months ago and we just picked it- London women's clinic. As soon as we got home, i stared reading their reviews- big mistake! I The doctor couldn't tell us how long the wait was so i am planning on contacting them to find out how it works. My partner did his STI testing and i got a blood test form to test my FSH levels during my period and STI's as well. I need to do it in two weeks time. When they get all test results they will forward the letter to the clinic. I think the whole process will take at least 8 to 10 weeks :(

Hi @iwanttohaveababy, glad to hear your appointment went well and now you have a plan in place. Strange and frustrating they didn't let you do a proper research when picking the clinic... so now you need to do the blood tests in two weeks, then they send these to the clinic and you can start dealing with them directly? This is the stage we are at as our first appointment with the actual clinic will be next Thursday. I am not sure I have preference between clipping or removing the tube as I understand they both mean laparoscopic surgery and they both mean one side is done for good, I will just go with what they suggest. Thanks for the tip, but don't think we'll go for a second opinion as the appointment is very close next week and I am afraid hearing more doctors would just confuse me even more.
How are you feeling? Getting closer to IVF? Hopeful?
I agree with you we just need to see what the consultant says, I have been doing some further research and it does seem to be the case that the fluid only comes into the picture once the embryo is transferred, I really hope we can do the whole stimulation process &embryo transfer in October. Then I will have my lap surgery in November and we can transfer the embryo whenever they say I am ready, but the hard part will already be behind us. The other option is that they say we need to wait until the surgery is done and can only start with the entire process once I recovered, but I am really hoping this will not be their answer...

I just called the clinic and they confirmed they usually contact their patients straight after the referral letter is received. At the moment they book appointments for 2 weeks ahead so it is not that bad. I wonder if we need to get to a waiting list or the whole process will start once we are signed into the clinic? I really don't understand how it works... Do you know anything about it? I asked the doctor who referred us yesterday but she dint seem to know anything. I hope she won't be taking her time with the letter once she got all test results.

Which clinic did you pick if you don't mind me asking?

We couldn't pick a clinic, we were referred to the one that we live close by. Once we had our results they (the fertility clinic) sent the referral to the IVF clinic, it was mid June (14th to be exact), then we received the pack from the clinic 2,5weeks after that (3rf of July) and a confirmation that our first appointment is on the 15th of August. This has been our timeline so far, next week I will be able to tell you more.
I expect we will need to make a decision whether I want to go ahead with the lap surgery (I think it's more and more likely I do) I mean if it is up to us. Maybe they will say I must have the surgery otherwise they refuse to start IVF. It is also possible...
Then if I go ahead with the surgery then it's another 12weeks wait, then God knows how long do I have to wait to recover from the surgery and start IVF.... I was expecting to start in October and now I am just struggling to get my head around this whole thing. The funniest part is that I insisted on having the HSG, they said it's not necessary. Now it seems that my stupidity will cause a huge delay.
On the other hand since I insisted on having the HSG we did find our there is liquid that could have ruined our chances to succeed with IVF and we could have used up all our funded rounds not knowing what is behind the BFN's and miscarriages.... Who knows...

Yes exactly, i was going to say the same thing- having the HSG done was the best decision you have ever made because after all we are fighting for successful pregnancies resulting into having healthy and alive babies. Trust me, the last thing you need is going through miscarriages and more pain only because you were once in a rush to do the IVF. Unfortunately sometimes we gotta wait longer than expected but it is all worth it at the end. Nothing comes easy to us, we have been waiting all these years so having to wait for an extra 2 or 3 months shouldn't be so bad. Although i understand your frustration and i totally agree- life isn't fair! We can't conceive naturally and on top of all we have to deal with health issues and it seems like the miracle will never happen, we always have to wait! It never ends!!! I am very inpatient person in general and i am thinking this is the lesson God is trying to teach me- patience. I don't know if i will ever learn but I don't really have a choice, do I?

Let me know what happens on the 15th, i will be waiting for an update.

Had bad news this morning, so may not be on here for a while. Good luck everyone. Speak to you soon.

@torthecatlady bad news? Do you mind me asking what happened?

My dad is missing. I spoke to him after work yesterday and he is going through a lot. He's depressed and implied he was suicidal. He left his house last night on his bike without his keys, wallet or phone and no one has seen him since. Police helicopters are out looking.

Oh, so sorry to hear that, hope he will be found soon! Will be thinking of you, try to stay strong. We will be here whenever you need to talk about anything at all. Sometimes it is easier to discuss personal matters with people who are not involved.

Thing of you @torthecatlady
I hope your dad is found safe and well xxx

Thank you for the messages. Unfortunately, his body has been found near to where he lives a couple of hours ago. I can't believe that he did it. It was so out of character. I wish he knew how much we loved him.

No, I am so sorry! I am sure he knew as he was your parent as you will become one soon and you will tell all the stories of him to your children, that will keep him alive! I know this is hard right now, but people with depression believe their loves ones are better off without them, that is horrible, but more common than people would think :(
We are here for you and please feel free to talk to us at any time. Lots of love Hun. x

Oh @torthecatlady I am So so sorry for your loss.

If it is any consolation - my daddy also committed suicide 6 1/2 years ago.

It was the most horrific, painful experience of my life and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. But the one thing u have to remember Is it was not your fault.
Don't ever blame yourself, if you have have done this, and you could have done that, and you should have done the other

NO! U cannot think like that.
Mental health in males is so covert - even our close male family members are sometimes able to hide their pain/feelings

All you can do now is focus on the many amazing memories you made together, the laughs & funny stories.
Give him a send-off to be proud of

I'm always here if you ever want to talk

Rest in peace Father Catlady 😇 💙

Broodyaf, I am soooo sorry for your loss! I have no words... Hugs!

Just wanted to share something... a girl that i am talking to from another online forum lost her mom month and a half ago. I didn't know what to tell her to make her feel better but i mentioned that most likely the miracle of getting pregnant will happen to her very soon because that's how God works sometimes (unfortunately)- he takes someone or something very precious and important to us to replace it with another important thing or a person. I know it because i have seen it happen many times. Also, the doctors have told her that she hasn't got an ovulation, she only has one Fallopian tub, basically her chances of getting pregnant naturally are 0. I texted her 2 weeks ago to check on her. And guess what... she shared the most amazing story... She got pregnant in the worst period of her life with no ovulation and 1 Fallopian tube and many more complications. They were not even trying... So @torthecatlady, I am certain your dad is watching over you and pretty soon you will be pregnant- you deserve all the happiness in the world after this horrible experience. I wish it for you with all my heart. One more time- I am so sorry for what you are going through.

Hey @Lily999, how did it go today?

Hiya, sorry for disappearing, the 15th and the following days were quite difficult for me to handle. We were told I should have the surgery before staring IVF as suspected, basically they told us if we decide to go ahead with treatment they will do it, but it's highly recommended to have the lap first as it will double (!) our chances for succeeding. I felt horrible as wanted to start the treatment, but of course want to do everything we can to make it work.
So decided to go and have the surgery, I am manning up and going for it. I was disappointed as they told me the waiting time for the lap is 12weeks (or less, but I was calculating with this), then I should wait two cycles to recover and then start IVF. So instead of October/November start date we were looking at Jan/Feb start with the surgery taking place in November.

On a positive note our appointment was on the 15th of August, my doctor came back from holiday on the 20th, the referral was done on the 22nd, she called to tell me, then next day, on Friday they confirmed I am on the waiting list, then on Monday my pre-op appointment was booked and posted, I received it yesterday (Wednesday). The pre-op appointment in on the 18th of September, so in 3weeks. Quite impressive, I must say! I expected not to hear anything for 3months... They said the pre-op appointment usually takes place a few days before surgery. So based on this I likely am going to have the surgery next month, so the entire IFV procedure was pushed back only by 1 cycle, that is not as bad as I initially thought. Should be able to start down regulation in December depending on my cycles. Also exciting to know if they confirm one tube is healthy then I should be able to fall pregnant naturally, and having IVF at the same time hopefully help us succeed.
So these are the news, in a few weeks time I should be done with surgery and schedule the start.
How are things with you?

Hey @Lily999, I am glad things are working out for you although you haven't planned it like that! 2 more weeks left till the 18th :) Its probably not a good idea to make any plans when it comes to IVF through NHS. I learned the hard way. Its better to just wait patiently and hope for the best because each time we make plans and things don't work out (which happens quite often) we feel frustrated and angry. So don't have any expectations and things will work out just fine!

Things with me are fine. My blood test (day 4 of my cycle) was on Tuesday last week. Hope everything is ok! I am expecting a copy of the letter which should be sent to the fertility clinic we picked, hopefully it wont take too long. I am guessing 3 to 4 weeks (worst case scenario), but knowing NHS it could be longer. I think i will give them a call today, hopefully someone will be able to help me.

Keep me updated!

Hey, Lily. Any news? Let me know.

I got a question- how long did you wait for the clinic to contact you once they got the referral letter?

Thanks

Sorry that I've completely dropped off this thread. Life keeps throwing curve balls at me.

On top of everything that has already gone on this year, I have just been diagnosed with gallstones and awaiting gallbladder removal and a follow up consultation on my liver.

@iwanttohaveababy my referral letter is dated 22.05.19 and I'm still waiting to hear, if that's any help?

@torthecatlady I am so sorry you have to go through it all! I hope things are getting better?

Thanks for the info, we had our initial appointment in the clinic and i am expecting my injections to be sent next week. They want to do frozen embryo transfer. I am praying that i will produce enough and they will fertilize... I am so scared! Please pray for me!

@Lily999, where are you?

Hi Ladies, sorry for disappearing... things are not great with me. Still no date for the surgery initially it was supposed to happen in October, then it was pushed back to November, and this week I was told it will probably be December / January. I am very upset and frustrated as I do have a letter stating clearly that I should have had a surgery within 12weeks, now it doesn't apply anymore. I don't understand why would they give me a deadline written down just to find out it means nothing at all. The worst part is that since August we can't even try and it will be half a year just gone by with zero chance, just this constant now knowing stresses me out very much.
Sorry to hear about your condition getting worse, I agree this year has been awful and I can't wait for it to be over. Only hoping I can get the surgery and I can say good bye to 2019 having the surgery put behind me. Also considering getting it done, but not sure I can justify paying £2000 for something that I am supposed to get for free.? Plus if I have the surgery privately on November then get the NHS one in December I will regret paying for it for sure.
Any advice? Thanks!
Fingers crossed for you @iwanttohaveababy I wish I was there already getting to the injections part... consider yourself lucky!

I know @Lily999, i thank God every day, now i am hoping for a miracle!

Don't pay the £2k, you will definitely regret it! Just wait, unfortunately you got no other choice. As you know this whole process is waiting ,waiting and some more waiting! It's just horrible. If i was you i was probably going to be involving complaints department and ombudsman by now. This is not right! If they say 12 weeks, 12 weeks IT IS! Don't leave it like this. You got rights, don't forget it. It is a legal document stating 12 weeks, so use it as an argument and ask for what has been promised to you. I am so sorry you are going through this. Let me know if you need some help and if you decide to push them a bit. I have been going through similar battles all my life.

Good luck!