CD1 :(

[Shak19]

Af due today. 14 dpo. I'm convinced I had a vvvvfl on a test this morning but I may have had line eyes. Period hasn't started yet but I've had very pink discharge when checking my cervix. Pretty sure af is on way tho and feeling annoyed at myself for convincing myself I sore a line. Does this every get easier??

Hi @shak19, I'm the same. AF turned up this afternoon, late. Been Ttc for 16 months now so although I try and not get my hopes up too much it's still upsetting each month. I don't test until a couple of days late to avoid the false hope of a faint positive. Am enjoying a couple of large glasses of wine and moping, but back to being positive tomorrow.

Have you got nice plans for the weekend?

I swear to myself each month that I wont test early but then I symptom spot and get hopeful and optimistic and then regret it every month.
I just wonder why it's so easy for every one else.
My niece recently revealed shes pregnant and its hit me so hard. Her first baby got removed by social services because he nearly died due to neglect and she tells me shes 20 weeks and social services have no concerns. My stomach turned at the thought of her putting another baby at risk. It just makes my own ttc journey harder when drug addicted child abusers get pregnant....

Anyway my plans for this weekend. I'm at my mums this weekend so bit of a distraction. Having a chilled weekend really. Then it's my birthday next weekend so me and husband are going to manchester for a few days. At least kve got distractions.

I dunno how you've kept going this long ttc I'm not that far yet and I feel dead inside at times. Fingers crossed things turn around soon xx

I know how you feel. I've lost count of the amount of pregnancy announcements there have been....four one day was particularly bad! Obviously happy for them but still 'feel why can't that be me?'

I have a friend going through similar so that helps to talk, and just found being more open about it helps as it can reduce the amount of unintended but hurtful comments. I usually allow myself one day to cry etc each month and then try to nake the most of things I enjoy that I wouldn't if I was pregnant (like prosecco haha).

Your weekend sounds lovely. It's my birthday in the week too! I'm having a chilled one as I have sciatica but will potter in the garden and DH will do a bbq I expect.

Do you know what you're getting for your birthday?

I think the last few months I've just been constantly miserable. Not even for the fact that I'm not preg but I'm In pain a lot too. Last month ended up In hosp suspected ectopic no cause found and this month had the same pains. Sex is sometimes painful too so I just feel very meh lately! Doctors just fob me off saying it's my weight... I'm a bit heavier like but I just feel somethings going on but dunno what

I'm planning to be more positive this month tho. Enjoy the summer and life and whatever.

I've no idea what I'm getting for my bday we're having a bday party/ house warming next weekend when back from Manchester so will see what that brings

Might arrange a bbq myself soon with this lovely weather.

Have you been to the doctors to see why you haven't conceived yet?

Sorry the last couple of months have been so hard. Painful sex isn't normal whatever so don't feel afraid to push to get it investigated, and see another gp if needed.

We've both had initial fertility tests and all fine. Which is good, I know, but frustrating too! We've been referred and I have appt with gynae at the end of the month- I think next step is to see if my tubes are blocked. My main worry is that over a year ago my periods changed drastically to barely being there and brown blood only- they were previously ridiculously heavy and I was investigated for that! Tests at the time and now indicate I'm ovulating though which js the main thing. Perhaps just hormonal changes with age, and at least I have some fresh blood now too (sorry tmi)

Ooh I'm getting a surprise too. DH has been very secretive so I've got no idea! DM has bought me some new shoes though

Have you got plans for when you're in Manchester?

My periods are often really light and only last two days and very painful which I've always thought was normal but no obviously I'm ttc I'm wondering it's not so normal. I'm gonna go doctors about it again because its affecting daily life now not just ttc. I've had pelvic cramps for about 2 weeks and periods only started properly today. Same the last 3 months.

Last time I went they said cause my ultrasound in august 2017 was normal I'm probably fine despite her thinking I have symptoms of a fibroid or cyst. Meh

Plans for manchester include lots of eating and lots of just for fun sex! We had our first date there so manchester is always sentimental for us.

Itll be nice just to get away tbh cause we've been stressed the last couple months. Me with the ttc and him with my general meh lately.

But period has properly started today. Which I'm surprisingly content with. I don't want it consuming my life again because I convince myself this sign means pregnancy etc

I dont think it helps that i dont have many friends to keep me occupied. A lot of people disappeared when I went through depression a few years ago which sucks and the friends i have now are great but arent in the same boat. I'd love someone to just vent to about it lol

@shak19 good luck going back to the Drs. Will let you know if I get any answers about my shift, light and painful periods!

your weekend in Manchester sounds fab! So lovely you are going back to the place you had your first date and hopefully will do the trick in making you both a little less stressed, and take time for yourselves.

MN is a great place to vent and share with people going through the same

Happy Sunday!

@shak19 enjoy your weekend in Manchester

Ahhh thanks you. We just got back.
This week I've been referred to gynae for possible endometriosis so the weekend in Manchester was a much needed stress relief. It was a nice get away nd able to put ttc to the back of my mind for first time in a while

Hope you've had a good birthday too :):)