TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 30 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

[Lilimum7]

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Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This is a wonderful supportive group for anyone ttc after the loss of a pregnancy or baby. Together we can get through the ttc crazyness xx baby dust to everyone xx

I'm feeling torn. AF has buggered off and taken all the post MC spotting with her (only a month of bleeding this time) meaning I'm good to go so to speak. And I really want to try again esp as I turn 40 soon. But do I want to wait a month? I've had 3 back to back mcs this year and bled for months after on last year. I've gained so much weight from the incessant eating to curb morning sickness. Goodness knows how long my gynecology referral will take to come through.

I don't know what to do.

@codlingmoth oh dear, you have had a terrible time. Do you think it will help psychologically if you have a month off to recover mentally and get back on track? Or will it make you feel worse knowing that time is ticking? I assume you have been referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic? That’s good they are investigating. Personally if I was struggling mentally I would take a month off, maybe take some exercise classes, acupuncture and other therapies to get myself back on track physically and mentally. Why don’t you book a few positive things to do and then see how you feel? Go with your gut feeling.
@boboelephant what lovely news. You will have to let us know how you get on with your 20 week scan. It’s gone by so quickly!
@knitkitty forgot to ask how you’re doing with your anxiety over this pregnancy?
@indreamland I still have faith you can have a healthy baby. The sperm dna fragmentation is fairly new and I don’t think they have enough data. I understand the difficulties but your dh will have healthy sperm, and it only takes one

@InDreamland I understand you feeling hopeless right now, so I will do some hoping for you! They must have a decent theory about the treatment for the trial being effective if they are trailing it, I would hope, so I really hope that it does your DH some good and you have a little miracle from it. Stay strong. xxx

@Mistymeow Still struggling but not quite as bad as I was. Last week my acupuncturist did something for the anxiety and I think it's had an effect. I still have the same fears but they don't feel all-consuming and I'm able to ignore the worries most of the time. Not had any more big melt-downs. I haven't done another pregnancy test for a week; I think I'll be able to hold on until the scan now (which is a week on Friday). Still convinced they're not going to find anything in there and dreading it... I will have such a shock if everything is actually how it should be! But I daren't get my hopes up right now; it feels easier to plan for the worst.
Still no real symptoms to speak of. I have wondered if I've felt a bit nauseated over the past two days, but it's so subtle I can't really tell.
Just keeping myself busy and distracted.

How are you @Mistymeow? Calafornia sounds fun! How long are you there for? I hope you have a lovely relaxing break and come back feeling refreshed! I am always so blown away by your positive attitude. Hugs

@InDreamland so sorry to hear your news. I can understand this must feel devastating for you. I know with your faith you feel you cannot have IVF but would you consider something like IUI? Not sure if it would help but might be an avenue to consider.

As for me, of course it was pre-AF spotting not implantation bleeding. I have come on full flow today. Feeling pretty foolish that I thought it might be a pregnancy, but at least it shouldn't interfere with my appointment at Tommy's shortly.

@InDreamland have been thinking about you and hope you're ok. I really hope that the trial brings you your rainbow. As others have said it only takes one sperm, so please don't lose hope for your miracle baby..

Coming towards the end of a few days away and I'm feeling somewhat guilty about the fact that I've managed to enjoy myself and even forget about the mc / ttc issues at some points. I've a feeling it will all come back with a vengeance once we're back to normal home / work life next week. Had a baby shower invite come through last night which I feel very uncomfortable with though as it's for one of my best friends I think I'll just have to suck it up. Two of my closest friends are expecting in the autumn and once their little ones arrive we will be the only childless couple left in our circle

@strawberrye I’m sorry it turned out to be af. Don’t feel silly. I was so convinced I was pregnant last cycle, I even told DH I think I’m pregnant due to my early spotting and all the other pregnancy symptoms I thought I had! I was gutted it was af!

@Avocuddles Don’t feel guilty. Being able to relax and take your mind off things for a bit has probably been really good for you.

@Knitkitty I’m pleased the acupuncture has helped you. I’ve heard good things about it. Not everyone has glaring pregnancy symptoms.

Hope everyone else is ok.

@Avocuddles Sorry also meant to say it can’t be easy if all your friends have children but don’t force yourself to do anything you’re not comfortable with.

@InDreamland sorry I was at work when I posted my anxious musings yesterday and missed your update. What a rough time you're experiencing. Fingers crossed this trial can bring you what you want so badly xx

@InDreamland sorry to read your news. Maybe try to speak to this fertility coach?! Her name is Katharine and she helped a lot of ladies of different ages and fertility issues and also husbands/partners with zero sperm etc I saw her for 1 intensive day. Talked a lot about myself and my journey. She talked a lot about different aspects/approaches for natural conception. She's very nice and caring and certainly understands what some ladies are going through! Anyway here's her site, she represents herself at major fertility shows - mamabe.co.uk
And maybe some other ladies on here will find her helpful. She offers 1 hour of free phone consultation. She also does reflexology.

@Frillyfarmer @Mistymeow @KnitKitty @Russkispy @Avocuddles @Codlingmoth @strawberrye thank you all so much for your support. I couldn't do this without you all. Thanks for the fertility coach details, I'll look into it. DH thinks whatever treatment he'll get on the trial will give us a chance and said it's not like it's totally bad and he does have a low level of healthy sperm, not none at all. IUI won't make any difference as it doesn't deal with the unhealthy ones.

I've got such mixed up feelings at the moment. I want to believe it'll happen but right now just more doubt and TBH I think I'm still in shock.

Am 9 or 10 dpo today. Did another IC and could swear there was a real squinter there but don't know if it's more hope than reality. Tried to take a photo but didn't really show like my eyes could see it. Maybe just an evap.

Goodness why do we all have to go through what we're going through? Being surrounded by pregnant women and couples all with kids is just so painful. That said I do know a few childless couples - either through choice or also multiple mc's or fertility issues. Life is so cruel.

Can anyone else see the squintiest of squinters?

I'm sorry for those who AF showed up. I'm 29 days since ERPC and think mine is also making a show.

@InDreamland I'm very sorry to hear this but I am very positive that you will still get your happy ending. Please don't give up hope.

I had my first appointment with Dr Shehata yesterday. I'm not really sure how I felt about him, he didn't really say a lot but I guess can he really say much until he has my results? I just hope he finds something treatable as he was very costly. I had the full NK cells bloods done, full thrombophillia, some others done and DH had sperm dna fragmentation test done.

I don't know if it helps but I know we've all had very hit and miss advice on taking aspirin. Dr Shehata advises all his patients to start taking 75mg straight away and not at BFP because it takes 6 weeks to take effect. So says it doesn't work if you take it from BFP. Also advises a high dose vitamin d and the pregnacare plus that includes omega. Hope this helps some of you who were wondering xx

@InDreamland I can see something. Did it come up in the time? Get a FRER! 🤞

@Pop1234 glad you've had all the tests, fx for some helpful results that give you answers and you can easily get treatment for. Thank you for your positivity. It did come up in time, I have a FRER but didn't want to waste it.

@InDreamland I can definitely see a line!

@InDreamland I see it too. Get yourself a frer and you'll know for sure then. If you're pregnant you'll get a nice pink line, fingers crossed xx

Thanks @AliceRR and @Lilimum7. I have actually got 5 FRERs in a drawer from when boots had them on offer but don't wanna waste them. These one step ones are supposed to be really sensitive though 10mlu/ml....... I'm not stupidly symptom spotting. Thing is I'm petrified if it is a BFP then it'll just mean mc#3.

I'm now, not I'm not. I am symptom spotting! I'm such a muppet! At 9 or 10 DPO I'm not gonna get symptoms yet anyway.

@InDreamland I don't know how you are holding off. I would have definitely peed on a FRER by now 😂

My fingers are crossed for you @InDreamland.

Thanks @moonpeace and @Bluebelltuilip.

@Pop1234 I think I'll just keep doing ICs to satisfy my POAS urge and if I see a proper clear line rather than what could be an evap as it's so ridiculously faint then I will crack open a FRER. I think also it's anxiety of if it is a BFP that I know it'll just end in mc#3.

@InDreamland that sounds like a good plan. Got everything crossed for you.

Thank you @Pop1234

@InDreamland I can also see the line but would rather use a FRER. Fingers crossed!!