TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 27 - BFPs are coming!

[Yukka]

New Thread as we're at 988 messages on thread 26. we'll do a quick roll call:
Age 39
TTC x1
MC x 3 = Sept + Dec 2017 + May 2018
Currently pregnant again 5w4ds
Diagnosed with APS/Hughes Syndrome. On Asprin since October and start Heparin tomorrow. First scan Monday.

xx

I totally know how you feel! I know it’s different and this doesn’t really apply to friends as you tend to know all about them but the best advice I heard was from Izzy judd (married to one of the guys from madly) she said when you see pregnant people who pregnancy announcements try to remember that you don’t know their struggle and what they have been through to get to where they are. It’s not the same with friends but really helps me when I see pregnant women or all those times I’ve been sat in the EPU with dropping HCG levels and women come in for their 12 and 20 week scans. It really helps to think don’t be jealous I don’t know thier story

Thank you Meghan and Holly . It's odd way to feel isn't it? I feel awful feeling jealous of one of my friends as I know how hard it was to get her 1st (7 years of IVF!) and so she certainly has the right more than most surely to have an easy, no trying required 2nd baby.

@hayleyfx ❤️ take care of yourself x

Placemarking -
39
Ttc #1
MC x2 in February (6 wks) & May (11 wks).
Currently waiting AF to start any day x

Thank you all so much. I’m doing okay. Bleeding right now is just like a heavy period and my cramps have calmed down a lot too so atm just feels like a period. Got my blood test results back, hcg levels went from 2555 to 1100 in 48 hours so that’s a confirmed miscarriage. Fully expected it though so I’m coping okay. Just leaving it up to nature now. I’m actually going to take at least a few months off from ttc now, will still stick around though, and going to look into testing for recurrent miscarriage. I’m going to be serious about it this time and get all the tests I can so hopefully next year will bring some answers.
In the meantime I’m just going to enjoy Christmas with my family and DP and I are planning a holiday so that will be nice. Thanks for all your support, it always helps me so much 💕

Hayleyfx your incredible ❤️ Sending you massives of hugs. Haven’t posted for a few days but been catching up - so many ladies will be here waiting if ever you need a chat Xxx

I’m so sorry you’re going through this @hayleyfx - I hope it’s not too difficult for you. You sound like you’re being so strong xx

Eeech! It's so hard to keep up with this thread!

@hayleyfx I'm so sorry chicken. This is the worst. I think you're right not to try for a bit (join the club!) Focus on Christmas and heal for a while. Big hugs xxx

@Holly5633 I've also had a few losses this year. Currently not trying and it has been surprisingly restful. I was dreading it and wasn't very careful the first month of not trying and think I had another loss (though I didn't bother testing). I've got my first RMC appointment tomorrow so will let you know how that goes.

MeghanV07 Stay strong. xxx

@TinselBee There is definitely no need to wait 6 months to try again. I saw a doctor after my surgical managed miscarriage who said I could try again straight away; even before my first normal period, if I wanted to. Not sure what drinking lots of milk would help with. As far as I'm aware adult humans don't really have a nutritional need for milk.
As for the surgical management. I had it and would opt for it again if needs be; it was a lot better than going through medical management which didn't actually work for me twice.
They gave me some tablets to soften the cervix before the procedure which I had some side effects from, but that was short lived (felt very sick but was given an anti-sickness injection) and had a bit of diarrhea (sorry, TMI). But that wasn't as bad as what I'd experienced with the medical management and I think my tummy is just very sensitive to these medications.
I woke up from the surgery with period pains (but nothing worse than that) and had heavy bleeding for about an hour but after that it was like a normal period, and I felt well enough to go home about 4 hours after (it would have actually been quicker than that but they waited for my blood pressure to rise as it was very low). Felt a bit groggy from the anaesthetic for a day or two but was up and about very quickly.
My advice is wear your comfiest clothes, bring lots of layers and big cosy socks and bring a few distractions with you (books, magazines, knitting, puzzles/games) in case you have to do any waiting around. Would also advise you bring a second pair of knickers and bottoms as I bled through mine.

@Justincase87 How are you hun? Sending you hugs. Stay strong.

@InDreamland Welcome back from your holiday. I hope you're feeling well rested. I'm not dreading Christmas but I have had a couple of wobbles and I just can't get excited about it this year, so totally understand.

@Yukka Thanks for sharing your experiences with acupuncture. I started it about a month and a half ago. I'm hoping mine is miraculous as yours! How is the pregnancy going atm?

@Lilimum5 My HCG took over 4 weeks to go back to normal after surgical management under ultrasounds. I had no retrained products, it just took a while for it to go down. I also had spotting for about 3 weeks after too. I really hope everything gets back to normal for you soon. Are you still bleeding? Healing hugs xxx

@Boboelephant I can sympathise, I'm finding the thread hard to keep up with now that I'm waiting for RMC referral and officially not trying. I really hope 2019 is a better year for you. IVF isn't an easy ride, but I know you're strong enough to hack it and I'm really hopeful for you that it will be successful. I'll keep all my fingers and toes crossed.

@SerenaOverjoyed Congratulations on seeing a heart beat! I hope everything continues to go well. As others have said, measurements are unreliable at this very early stage. Stay strong in there little bean! xxx

@TinyPaws I'm thinking of you and sending as much baby dust as I can find your way. Really hope it's successful. Are you managing to stay away from the testing?

Sorry if there's anyone I've missed.

Thank you for the well wishes for my appointment tomorrow. I'll let you guys know how it goes after.
I'm bricking it a little bit, worrying about if they're dismissive or what have you, but trying to stay strong and will try to go in there assertive and coherent!

Sending hugs to those who need them.

@hayleyfx shitty news but I hope you can start to get some answers now X

Thank you to people asking after me - woken up this morning and my boobs feel deflated and I'm spotting quite a bit, still pink but I feel like my period is about to start. Starting to give up the tiny bit of hope I had now, and don't think I'll even get to my scan on Friday. Today was my due date for my first baby so feeling a bit lost and have a day of training/meetings today with my line manager.

Aww @hayleyfx I am so sorry, take your time to heal. Hopefully you'll get Investigations now which may give you some answers in meantime take your time. Although you expected it was happening doesn't make it any easier hurt any less 💔xx

Just catching up over the weekend - I felt so down on Friday so decided to have a complete phone detox and am feeling much better for it.

I'm so sorry to hear all the sad news though.

@TwittleBee, I keep meaning to check back in on the July thread to see how your little bean was getting on. I'm so, so sorry to see you here. How are you feeling?
Milk comment and waiting 6 months is bizarre... we've been advised to start asap, even before my next period. Tried this morning for the first time since conceiving our last. xx

@hayleyfx and @MeghanV07 - I'm so sorry to hear both of your news too. What a crap weekend.

really wishing you a wonderful christmas and new year hayleyfx and good luck with the testing too x

thank you for that reply KnitKitty ! Yeah I asked her what she was on about with the milk, apparently she read somewhere that it has some sort of protein that can help with fertility? Idk I find my MIL really difficult sometimes, she really had a go at us when we said we actually want to start TTC again after my 1st period, which was when she told us we have to wait half a year at least. It is almost like she doesnt want her son to grow up any further. Thank you for the heads up about the surgery, I really didnt know what to expect. Still waiting for an appointment to go in too. Ive got bowel issues so should imagine I'll have similar side effects to you if you have a sensitive tummy too.

Justincase87 I am so sorry that you are having to face this anxious time on your first baby's due date too sending you love

@hayleyfx I am so sorry to hear this. How are you feeling today?

@Beaglemum93 Are you still going to call the EPU?

@Lilimum5 I was thinking of using the Clear Blue once I had more of an idea what length my cycle is.

Got a negative on my OPK yesterday. I'm not sure the others where actually positive as to me they seem to of faded and I read that a positive will never fade. What do you think? You can definitely see the positives from last week but I'm not so sure on the new ones now?

@DayDreamer1707 I don't think I'll bother ringing the epu because I did another test this morning and the line was slightly fainter and I doubt they'd do any tests anyway. I have another appointment with my GP next week so if it's still positive then hopefully he'll organise some tests.

@OctoberGirl91 yes hun you just type bbt thermometer into amazon or ebay and there not expensive
@Holly5633 welcome and I'm sorry for your losses hun. This is a lovely supportive group of ladies who have all gone through miscarriage and we get. Join the huddle x
@hayleyfx I'm sorry hun if only words could heal xx

@KnitKitty thanks for your reply yes I'm still bleeding it driving me mad to be honest. But I'll get there.....
@MeghanV07 thinking of you hun x
@Justincase87 thinking of you too hun x
@DayDreamer1707 I just looked at your tests and I think the two positive ones are +ve they fade as they dry out. As to the new ones did they fade with in the 10 mins anything after 10mins is unreliable hun. It's worth timing to test. I love my ic because I'll a poas freak but I refer clearblue as its yes or no there's no need to think about if it's +ve or - ve.
@Beaglemum93 I hope the fainter test is a sign your healing and your body is getting back to normal x

As for me today ladies I'm off to the doctors to ask about referral, if I can't get that I'm asking for a full M. O. T and asking every question I can think of. He going to want to refer me by the end of the appointment just so he doesn't have to deal with me again. I've had enough of this "it's just bad luck" crap I need answers now.

I'll let you know later how it went xx

@Lilimum5 no they didn't fade within 10 mins just noticed them this morning to be a little lighter, where as the ones from last week haven't faded at all. I kinda want them to be negative so I don't have to start my TWW again ha. Last week when I got my positives I had what I thought was ovulation bleeding too and a slight pain to the right side. This time more just cramps. Hope you get some help today, it's so annoying when doctors don't listen x

@Beaglemum93 that's good then, unfortunately waiting around is hard but least it's happening for you now FX you get a negative soon and you can move forward x

@then I would say you were right last week. Go with that and count 12 to 14 days until your af. Maybe cover your bases anyway just in case .

@hayleyfx so sorry for you and all you have been through. I just wanted to echo @KnitKitty words. I was dreading taking a break, but have found it really healing. I hadn't realised but I had stopped looking forward to stuff, as was constantly worrying about being pregnant/miscarrying. I still have some very sad moments but do feel better for it.

@KnitKitty good luck with RMC today

I have the start of miscarriage investigations this week including an ultrasound tomorrow. Feels a long process and don't think we will be trying again until April but feels like milestones along the way.

@Lilimum5 was that message meant for me?

fnej01 good luck with the investigations, hope they actually go a lot quicker and provide answers with solutions.

Got my surgery appointment through, 7am this Friday. So nervous for it but glad to have a date for it, even if it seems ages away now. Just want this to be over now.

@hayleyfx really sorry for you hun. The only blessing here is that its happening quickly and naturally and your body will hopefully recover quickly, probably quicker than your emotions but time does wonders xx

@Meghan07 and @Justincase87 sorry you are both going through this uncertainty too. I hope eitherway you know whats going on soon xx

@Knitkitty hope the acupuncture works for you too :)

I went for scan this morning, my dates are spot on, measuring 6w1d, which is a relief as last time I was a week behind and it didn't end well. Lots of new appointments now cos of APS - regular Blood Platelet counts etc. Next scan is 20 December. I've learnt about the 'Heparin Burn' - it seriously stings but, I can't moan about it just have to get on. Feeling ok. The Nurse said today that sadly I will probably feel only 'ok' for the rest of the pregnancy due to the risks of the condition, but so long as I can find ways to deal with it that's the main thing. Thanks for asking ater me.

Also I have ZERO replies to the Pregnant with APS thread I set up, and don't want to join the standard pregnancy board as it could be too overwhelming so will stick around here for a little longer xx

@Justincase87 I'm so sorry you're feeling this way hun. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a little miracle for you. Huge hugs xxx

@TinselBee It's completely normal to feel nervous. I did too. But there's really nothing to be scared of and hopefully the staff will be as lovely with you as they were with me. It seems like they're making you wait quite a while. I had mine the same day I had my scan after second failed medical management... But then possibly they saw mine as 'urgent' since the medical management hadn't worked and I was probably a higher infection risk due to my cervix having been opened up a couple of times already that week. I hope the wait goes by quickly for you. Look after yourself and get lots of rest. xxx

@Beaglemum93 I hope everything sorts out quickly for you. Good idea to go to GP if things are still not back to normal yet next week. Stay strong. xx

@Lilimum5 Goodness it's exhausting, isn't it? I'm so sorry your body is taking so long to recover from this one. I really hope you're near the end of it all now and I'm really glad you're pushing for investigations. You need some answers now. Hugs! xxx

@fnej01 Good luck tomorrow. What's the ultrasound for exactly? I'm feeling like it might be a long road for me too, so just trying to enjoy the break and not think too far into the future at the moment; but I don't see trying again any time soon either. What other tests are they doing with you?

@Yukka I am so pleased that everything is looking how it should at the moment! What brilliant news! At least with the diagnosis you can somewhat feel like you're a step ahead of the game as the pregnancy progresses, so I really, really hope it runs as smoothly as possible for you! Strange no one has replied to your other thread, but you're welcome to stick around; we all know that pregnancy after loss is not an easy time.

Getting a lift to hospital for my appointment in about half an hour. Trying not to think about it too much as I'm feeling really nervous. I have a little folder of medical history, period dates, symptoms and questions etc (Could I be any more Monica off Friends? ) My OH calls it my Vagina Diary. Hahaha!

@TinselBee, so sorry you are going through this. I am just over three weeks post surgery. Like you, I was so very nervous as I was entering the realm of unknown. However, I came out out the other end thinking "that wasn't too bad". The worst of it was just waiting to go down to theatre as your slot may change due to other emergency cases. The medical staff are all very discreet. I even had some of the medical staff share their own experience of MMC. One piece of advice I would share is that if you have somebody with you (my husband was with me) they wait on the ward. The operation was only 20 minutes, and stupidly we thought I would be back up on the ward pretty quickly. I was actually gone for 2 hours. Thankfully the anaesthetist warned us of this, which put my husbands mind at rest. I hope it all goes well for you, make sure you don't do too much afterwards and take it easy x