Over 40 ttc - winter baby dust for me!

[Orchid222]

Here's our new thread ladies.

MMC's are just shit. I had mine in June 2017 and nothing since. I was so excited to hear the heart at 5 weeks 4 days. I was back for another scan at 9w 4 d as I was being monitored closely....older and history of DVT. To be so excited about going in to see and hear baby to being told there is no heartbeat is crap. So so crap.

Yeah it is shit presh. I heard a heartbeat too, at 6+4, and I thought chances of mc after hearing hb were really low, so it was extra harsh. Also I'd just been diagnosed with high FSH and early perimenopause, so I thought it was my miricle baby.
Not to be.
But 1% is so false. From people on here and people I know in rl who have had them, I'd say it's more 25% or more

Russkispy good luck tomorrow and Presh good new re: follicle size, good luck on Wed!

Welcome Lii222 and Mahotsukai and sorry about your mc's. As a group here we've had so many of them :( hopefully we'll all have better luck next time.

Yes, MMCs are totally awful. With my first they were never able to find a thing wrong with him or me. My life changed in a moment and I’ve never been the same person since. The second never really got going and I’ve not heard about this last one yet. I know it happens and just can’t always be explained. Ugh.
Going through all of this has made it hard to get my hopes up with each pregnancy. I’ve tried to just enjoy the moments I HAVE had with them and it also helps to hold the beautiful three I’m so fortunate to have already when the longing for one more gets very strong. The grief comes in waves.

Also sending a hug to you all going through this too. I keep trying to tell myself the only way is forward and I just have to be ready to deal with what comes because that’s what it takes, especially at this age.

@Cleozeta - MC rate for over 40s is 51% i was told by my clinic. 80% for over 45s 😢

@CritterTamer I'm not going to admit to how many times I've been on the site below over the last 3 months...! But it breaks it down by risk % per day, and can be personalised by age.

datayze.com/miscarriage-chart.php

Hi @Floofsquidge - how are you doing?

I have to admit that since reading that leaflet my clinic gave me with those figures on it I’ve been too scared to do any kind of research into MC rates - I just try to take each day as it comes and tell myself I have a 50/50 chance of the working out!

Never get past the anxiety it's not going to work out but I'm feeling good. Tired, gassy, but good, and nausea pretty much gone now. Have our 16 week MW appt coming up where we should hear heartbeat for the first time.
How are you doing?

@Floofsquidge - glad you’re feeling ok and looking forward to hearing a HB. One good thing about IVF is the early scans (even more in my case as I had OHSS) but we’ve heard two lovely strong heartbeats 3 times already and only 10+4 today 😊 waiting on appointment for 12 week scan with nhs now. I’m currently in the thick of MS misery - it’s really just unrelenting and debilitating at the moment - got zero sleep last night with it so finally gave in and went to the doc today. Got some anti-sickness medsehich gave me about 2 hours of relief. I can only take 3 per day but a few hours relief every day is a lot better than none!

Ugh Critter I feel for you. Morning sickness (what a joke name) is just the worst. You can’t function. It must be especially bad with twins. Hope it eases up as you get into your second trimester.

Welcome to Liii and Mahot. I’m sorry to hear of your losses. I can relate to everything you both say. That longing for another is so painful.

Great news Presh on the follicles and good luck to Russ and Orchid.

The mc rate is depressingly high, and that doesn't even count most chemicals as they tend not to be 'reported' so my bet is its even higher than that. But the good news is that the risk does go down considerably as time goes by, and after the 12 week scan it's really low, so safer to relax. Fingers crossed we all get there soon

Welcome @lii222 and @mahotsukai
@CritterTamer the MS is really shite was really bad with it a couple of times but it shows a positive pregnancy..
sending bigs hugs to you all for losses and upcoming procedures.. have lost a little track of everything that's going on at mo... we've got busy 💕

@cleo and @presh the mmcs are horrendous. I felt so excited when I saw the baby and heard a heart beat at just over 6 weeks only to find that at nearly 10 weeks it had stopped growing. The devastation that you feel at that moment is just overwhelming. 1% is surely too low. How can that be possible when so many of us have had so many.

@floofsquidge thanks for that link. That's interesting - is it possible to relax during pregnancy when you've had mcs in the past? It's just stressful. Try to relax as much as you can though. I appreciate it's not easy but the risk has decreased dramatically now.

Big hugs to all xx

Hello ladies

Sorry I've been absent for a while...last month was very sad as my mum passed away I'm back at work now and starting to feel more human albeit everything still feels surreal...

Big hugs to everyone - yay on the positives and lots of baby dust to those waiting bizarrely, I've just had a faint positive test but have no symptoms at all - I only tested as I'm about to go for an acupuncture session and my period is late so she needs to know if I am or not. I'm glad I've managed to get preggo as I was told it was going to be difficult (one blocked tube, now 41.5yrs old) not to mention scar tissue and whacko cycles...but not getting my hopes up at all. Line was faint considering I'm almost 6 weeks....

I had two mmc before dd1 (born just after my 40th) and they were heartbreaking. One of the worst things was the loss of that innocent joy you have when you first find out and start planning...although I wasn't entirely paranoid with the successful pregnancy (just a tad!), I was always mindful that nothing was certain until the baby was in my arms (and now I've got a whole new case of worries! ). Sending much love to everyone affected by mmc and mc - it's a total b*stard

Xxx

Oh Karryk I am so sorry about your mum. Mine passed away over 2.5 years ago when my ds was 3 months and because she was in another country she didn't even get to see him. I still cry when I think of losing her so I know exactly how you feel. Words can't describe it and only time can lessen the blow. I hope you have lots of family and friends around supporting you. Please take care and very best of luck with the positive test, I hope it gets darker quickly and the little bean sticks

Karry sorry to hear about your mum, so sad.

Fingers crossed your bfp gets darker and sticks!

I had 2 very easy and innocently relaxed pregnancies with my 1st two, didn't even know about the existance of mmc's or chemicals. Interestingly when I got my bfp in Feb this year I kept noticing people going on about mmc's a lot, so of course that became my fear - which then happened. After that I noticed a lot of talk aboit chemicals, and thought I haven't had one of those yet, must be due one. And lo and behold - had one in October! This time I'm reading up on successful pregnancies in the over 40's and figure I must be due one of those next!

Russkispy- how did you get on today? Hope all went well. Exciting time ahead, hopefully you'll have plenty of good embryos in a few days.

Hi everyone,

Would you mind if I join you? I'm 39 and have been ttc for six months now without success, I did have a really long cycle back in October and I convinced myself that I was pregnant, but it was just an annoyingly late period, dh is 42 and fully on board I think he's just as excited as I am to be giving it one last go. Although if we do manage to conceive I'm not certain we won't try for another after - mostly due to the massive age gap.
We already have children and the youngest is 11so quite an age gap, initially said I'd give it until the new year, then stop trying and start living again, but in hindsight I truly thought I'd be well into a pregnancy by now, so it wouldn't come to that.

Anyway here I am on my last month, thinking that I could keep trying until this time next year... just not sure what to do really!

Anyway I'm on cd 16 of a 30 day cycle, so peak fertility time hopefully, due to test on 19 December.

Good luck to everyone this month, what a great Christmas gift it would be 😊

@Orchid222 , egg collection finished. 5 eggs out of 7 follicles. The doc says 3 of them are of good quality, 2 not so much. Next couple of days will tell us all. ET scheduled for Saturday.
How's everyone else doing?!

Oh exciting Russkispy, fingers crossed those 3 progress nicely!
I have a scan tomorrow and we'll see after that but EC probably between next Tues- Thurs

I am currently on cd14 and AF just arrived. I'm so worried I'm perimenopausal and don't know if I should go to the GP. I have literally had 4 bleed free days in the past 14 and I just want to cry

Good luck IUI / IVF people - loving tbe updates!

Welcome Camden - I'm currently approaching midcycle too, hopefully ovulating this week, fingers crossed for a line for Christmas!

Whyhaveidonethis - Is it actually real af? Is it heavy? Or could it be mid-cycle spotting?

I'd go to gp for some tests. My friend had a similar thing a while back, she was getting af every 2 weeks, fsh & lh came back really low so it wasn't peri. They did further tests and found an infection. Treated it and all fine now. Could be similar for you