A question that has been asked many times before but I felt the need to post it anyway
My husband and I are, for the first time in our lives, thinking of having a baby in the near future. It is exciting and terrifying at the same time. I am 31 and he is 36, we have been married for 3 years and together for 6 years so we have already had time for ourselves and enjoyed lots of holidays and built many memories together as a couple. I have done most of the things I wanted to do (ie: finish my studies, find a career path that I enjoy, move abroad, travel a bit) but there is still one main thing missing that worries me a lot: we haven’t bought a house yet and we are nowhere near being close to be able to do so. We don’t have many savings yet (for various reasons I won’t be listing here) and saving for a deposit for a decent 2 bedroom property in London and surroundings (we are currently renting a lovely flat in Surrey, very well linked to central London as we both work there) will take us at least an extra 3-4 years and I just don’t want to wait that long as I am not a teenager anymore.
My biggest concern is not related to baby stuff, nappies and food costs but childcare which, in this area of the country, is incredibly expensive (full time nurseries cost around £1700-£1800 per month and being a SAHM is not an option for me as my husband income is not high enough to support the family + pay for rent and I also don’t want to quit my job as I like working). We don’t have our families here to help as I am not from the UK and my husband’s family doesn’t live that close so we would have to rely on full time childcare for years until school age.
With our salaries and bonuses we might be able to manage the childcare costs (just about and with absolutely no money left for a meal out or a cheap little holiday or any extras) but we won’t be able to save money for at least 3-4 years which would mean we won’t be able to buy a property for a long time still. I sometimes feel bad about worrying so much about this as in a way I know I am “ruining” this exciting moment with my negative thoughts but on the other hand I want to make sure I will be able to offer my child(ren) the best possible life.
Am I silly worrying about all this so much? Has any of you been in this situation before having kids? I am not looking for advice really, I just wanted to share my worries with someone in a similar position.
Thank you!