TTC First Baby Massive Thread.

[Delilah7]

Hope all my lovely ladies have found this group can't tag you all as there is too many!! ❤️

@Crossfitgirl i was actually going to ask if your husband might be clueless about you being fertile only a few days a month. Most men are, they have no idea how it all works. I mean, even when they get tested, all they do is deposit a sample in a cup. And we gotta endure some tests that can be extremely painful, not to add the labor pains. Unless we educate them they won't ever know. Glad you set him straight. I had to explain things to mine too. Now I get to say when we have sex and he doesn't get to refuse.

@Crossfitgirl aw I really sympathise. I don't have sperm on tap. my OH is just like that- always grumpy in the FW.

I was feeling pants last night and we had an hour long argument about how I close the back door loudly - how dull!!

I think it will just be a timing thing when it happens to be both in the right frame of mind but I find it really hard to suppress my disappointment at missed opportunities. Sorry you are having a rough time with it

@Crossfitgirl nope it's not just you Hun! I work away from home a few days a week (sometimes the full week) and I travel around the UK quite a bit too so I'm always super tired after the drive too. Because of this I get to work from home for a day or two in the week. DH will do NOTHING when I'm away, but when I bring it up he says I could've done it when I'm wfh. He doesn't understand that if he says he'll do something, and then doesn't do it, it's not my job to do it for him 😂

So, what I did was picked a day on the weekend where we didn't have plans, I didn't let us make any plans, and I literally forced us both to to make time to sort the house together. It actually got done 😂

But also, and I'm sorry this is so long, my DH is going through a rough time and I didn't know it was as bad as it is, he's generally feeling quite low, doesn't like his job, wants to provide for me (I earn more) and wants to be able to support me fully when I'm pg and the baby is here. He's really stressed out and so any little thing really has blown up into something massive. Also I find DH can moan about things sometimes, but then needs to be pushed to actually do something about it. I think it's a man thing 😂

I can completely relate - maybe try force some time for the both of you to sort the chores out but also make time to properly talk and have it all out. If DH gets frustrated easily then go somewhere public like a coffee shop etc where he can't start shouting etc? It's like someone said below (sorry but this point I can't remember who it was) but we married them for a reason, and they did with us. Especially when TTC it's soooooo much pressure on both us and DH, so it's one time you both need to be completely solid and communicating properly about everything.

Again, sorry this is so long, just don't want you to feel like you're alone xxx

Guys anyone have any idea about wtf is going on 😩 I literally have zero idea what my body is doing

@cupcakesandglitter Hmm if I use my science brain I think if you ignored the outliers like 5th and 13th it fits with ovulating sometime around the 8th!

Crossfitgirl, I hope you have a nice curry with him tonight, maybe that will chill him out and you can dtd when you get home?

Cupcakesandglitter, my dh has stages like that. Like you, I earn more and he's not fully happy at work, but never makes a real push to change. I always think it's up to him, if I push and he hates a new job more, worried he'd think he made an error because of me?!

On the topic of sex.... I made a comment to dh this morning that af could still be around the corner and he looked dismayed. Partly because it means I'm probably out this cycle. But also because he doesn't like to dtd if we think I could come on at any time.... He says (and I quote) 'it's risky though, like tapping a ketchup bottle' ...WTF?!!! Men :)

@KatBeCool feeling just pms symptoms and very grumpy today DH daren't speak!
How are you? Any itching to test yet?

@FivexFive sorry about the bfn lovely, but there is still time!

@Crossfitgirl I am so sorry hun, men can be so rubbish and they don't admit when they are not happy about something. Is there anything you can do to snap him out of it?
It's so frustrating when they complain about one thing when they don't do half as much in the way of chores!
I hope you have managed to sort it out and he is keen to get back on Dtd!

@cupcakesandglitter I have had charts like that, it's so frustrating isn't it. Hopefully it will form a more visible pattern soon.

@FivexFive 'like tapping a ketchup bottle!' 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

@FivexFive oh god yes! We could really do with extra money and it would take a lot of pressure me, but if I push DH to get a new job I know I'd feel like crap if he hated it! X

@FlapJackered thought my boobs hurt less, then I squeezed one and yelped. They're kinda hurting far longer this time. Never had it happen. Got a headache yesterday too. Then today SIL announced she's ten weeks pregnant. They tried once and she got pregnant, basically not even trying.

Congrats on all the BFPs.

@delilah7 exactly I do not! Can't ignore him though... I need his willy!
@GDOG35 I know... do wonder sometimes why I married him! Such pettiness!
@katbecool "Now I get to decide when we have sex and he doesn't get to refuse " love it! How do you enforce this? We did once get into an argument years ago when I actually had a low sex drive and he was pissed off I wouldn't put out, I was so mad and to prove him wrong I stormed over and commanded him to take his pants off, when he wouldn't I pushed him over and ripped them off (I was still really pissed off and wanted him to feel like I was making him do something he didn't want to to prove a point) ended up being really good sex!!
@poodlepip the joys of long term relationships, it amuses me the stupid things we argue about! I know what you mean though it's hard not to be disappointed if it's an opportunity missed. Especially after the nice mother stuff he said about me last night!

@cupcakesandglitter thank you, that does make me feel very less alone, men don't cope with things as well as us women do and you're right it's so important to keep talking.
And it's definitely a man thing, they do need a push to do something about the things they aren't happy with - I sometimes wonder how he would get through life if I wasn't here to shimmy him along!

Also your chart- at first glance I could swear you've ovulated twice!! Lol i would take out the anomalies like someone else said. Lots of things can affect the temp.

@fivexfive haha that made me chuckle! Is he squeamish about AF? Poor lad... doesn't know what he's missing does he @delilah7?? 😂
They do get down in the dumps our men don't they, I think a lot of traditional values are still at play, they are such sensitive souls but don't want to admit it.

@flapjackered we have sorted it out now, but still not DTD, he tickled me earlier and smacked my bum but when I kissed him and put my hand on his leg he just briefly kissed me and pulled away, got matching underwear on (special times) and everything but just get the impression he's not interested today. Don't want to be rejected so....

Not sure what else to do!

Waste of EWCM but oh well.

FFS, I'm on the bed upstairs and i finally decided to whatsapp him to say get up here and join me and was about to send a dirty pic... and hear his phone go off beside me!
He's left it charging on the bedside table!
Euh.
Can't even use a cop-out text method to entice him into sex with me with no risk of face to face rejection 😂

@Crossfitgirl I know how rubbish it is to be rejected and I am rubbish at being brave in these situations, but I would go up to him, kiss him with tongues and say you want him right now. I don't think he is going to refuse! You had so many great ideas for me the other day, use one of those. If he does say no (which I am sure he won't) you have us to rant to! Good luck lovely xxx

@Crossfitgirl you're right, I don't think they'd be very far without us 😂😂 and I have no idea which ones to count as anomalies and not - I know my sleep is disturbed etc sometimes but I can have the same conditions and get completely different results so who knows 😂😂

Go downstairs and try in person? If he doesn't then force him to talk about it x

Good 35 mins of aerobic exercise today and I start using my clearblue fertility monitor tomorrow. 😇

@Crossfitgirl we really want kids, so we both know we gotta have sex, no matter whether we're in the mood or not. And after doing it three days in a row, there's no mood from either one of us. We just do it. If we're sick, we just don't kiss lol. Married life often brings low sex drive because there are so many things to take care of! So much stress! We basically have to schedule it. But it works. Once we actually get to bed... things happen. It's one of the advices they give for low sex drive - schedule sex. And when I'm fertile, I just announce sex haha

@FlapJackered I want to test! I had a temp dip today, hopefully it goes up. Not ready for a failure month.

@katbecool you sound exactly like us!! x

@validuser go you! Well done on the exercise! What's the benefit of a fertility monitor rather than just OPKs? Does it keep track of everything all in one?

@cupcakesandglitter well, I dunno lol temping isn't my field of expertise, it's only my 2nd month, the only thing I've found raised my temp quite a lot so far is drinking the night before, I'm lucky that so far unsettled nights don't seem to have altered my temps much. Good luck figuring it out!

@flapjackered aww yeah I forgot about that! Don't know where all my confidence went tbh! It goes to pot I think when you fear rejection, I felt a bit pathetic tbh!

I'm pleased to say though we have now DTD!
He came upstairs and sat on the bed, and I went over and pushed him backwards, and lay on top of him smiling. Didn't even need to do anything, he went straight for my top to pull it off!

All that dithering for nothing!
Lol

@Crossfitgirl it stores data, monitors oestrogen and has compatible pregnancy tests. It looks kinda cool too.

Tbh it just appealed to my desire to do something, anything!

Omg @katbecool and @sunshine1987 I wish I could be like that. I mean, I am like that - i will initiate even when not in the mood, as I so want a baby, but DH has already said to me he doesn't want to feel like the romance is gone, which I can understand.
I'm not sure I'm ready for scheduled sex, but it might be a good idea for weeknights- as that is our downfall. We tend to have weekend sex if it happens, weeknights are busy, full of work stress etc.

I may schedule it in his calender though when he's not looking and see what his reaction is haha.

Notification: have sex with wife, 6pm. Bring handcuffs
😂

@crossfitgirl so glad your hubs came around 😉 have to remember the direct approach works for him next time!

To be honest neither of us have massively high sex drives, we never have so when we decided to try for a baby I explained to him how it all works and what’s recommended etc and I guess he’s just the sort of person who needs information and we both try and follow a plan as such. I can’t say it’s massively romantic but it works for us and once we get into it we really enjoy it, it’s just easier than stressing about is he going to reject me etc for me, which I always found hard xx

@sunshine1987 ah, you know, I never even thought about it like that. The no rejection thing is a biggie!
I might suggest SMEP to him for next month... I have explained about fertile days and that day of ovulation is best, and he has agreed to have more sex, he even suggested we have sex every day!

Unfortunately he is a man of words rather than action on this front, but I think once he sees I'm not getting pg he will realise for himself the importance of action! (Sometimes they need to think it's their own idea or just realise for themselves rather than actually just listening to us)

I do think he will be up for it, just need to sell it as romantic and exiting haha

Hi all,

I joined last week so thought I'd come to this thread and say hello.

TTC #1
Age 36
Just finished first cycle but am waiting for period. Had v. sore breasts for 5 days and feel exhausted today. Period due 25th Sept. The wait seems endless. Too soon to do a test? Ovualtion date was 11th Sept.

Welcome @Squiff70 - you could probably consider testing!